When Plot Bunnies Attack
by BiteMeTechie
Summary: They're the harbingers of doom. They multiply like tribbles. They care not for canon information. They're plot bunnies and they will not be denied! THE SAGA IS NOW COMPLETE!
1. They Arrive

It all started when a wormhole to planet P107-8UNN33 was established some eight days ago and a stray, wild, alien animal managed to make it's way back to Atlantis.

It was small, and therefore infiltrated the base with relative ease.

No one would have even known it was there if Doctor McKay hadn't screamed and squealed like a schoolgirl and gestured towards it with a flailing arm when he nearly stepped on it.

Even then, it wasn't _really_ considered a threat. Beckett looked it over, as did half of the biology staff and it was concluded that there was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary about it. It was a healthy, seemingly helpless animal that wasn't poisonous and was therefore considered an oddity at worst, and bloody adorable at best.

It _was_ cute, of course, but that didn't stop people from wondering just how a rabbit ended up so far from earth and in the Pegasus galaxy. It wasn't _quite_ a bunny rabbit, but it wasn't _quite_ not, either, but it was enough of a facimile that it was called a bunny by the general Atlantis population.

Weir pretty much adopted it right away as an unofficial mascot. She figured that it would strengthen morale in the ranks if Atlantis had it's own 'pet'. Aside from the fact that it looked so much like something from _home_, that it was comforting to those who hadn't been back to earth in a while, the fact that it had caused McKay to react in such a manner only proved to endear it further to most of the staff on Atlantis.

The only person who was against the fluffy, beetle-black eyed creature was Rodney McKay. _He_ was of the opinion that it was a harbinger of doom, and that if it wasn't slain immediatly, it would bring about a massacre of Monty Python proportions.

Sheppard just smirked and suggested that Rodney had watched 'Night Of The Leapus' one too many times.

Then _things_ started to happen. Weird things. Inexplicable things. X-Files type things.

The shifts in reality were small, at first, and virtually unnoticeable. A missing sock here, a disappeared pair of sunglasses there. The _real_ problems didn't start for a good twenty four hours until after the Alien-Not-Quite-A-Bunny thing arrived.

It began when the Daedelus arrived that morning with a new shipment of crew members that was much, _much_ larger than usual. This in itself could easily be explained away if necessary, but the fact that ninety percent of them were female and named Mary-Sue could not.

The Alien-Not-Quite-A-Bunny thing gave birth a few hours after the arrival of the Mary-Sues.

No-one made the connection.

Things got even stranger after a few more days passed.

People all over the planet began suffering from symptoms of the strangest diseases, like amnesia. Crew members who weren't in relationships before suddenly became passionately entangled with one another. The Mary-Sues began chasing the most unlikely of crew members around for various reasons that no-one could explain.

It was chaos.

And the Alien-Not-Quite-Bunny-things still grew steadily in number.

Crew members who had never shown signs of depression became openly morose and pessimistic. Those who had shown no interest in romance suddenly became lovesick fools, spouting poetry to the heavens.

And someone caught Ronon and Kavanaugh **dancing**

_Together._

But no-one suspected the Alien-Not-Quite-Bunny things, whose population began to run unchecked and who began growing to immense proportions.

They began multiplying at an unreal rate. Not multiplying like rabbits, like you would expect them to, but like _tribbles_.

Within six days, the whole base was overloaded with them. By the time anyone realized those _things_ were to blame for the changes going on, it was too late. The damage was done.

Sheppard was suicidal.

Weir was a mindless bimbo hell-bent on getting it on with McKay.

McKay was hiding in a supply closet from the aforementioned Bimbo Weir.

Beckett had been tackled by one too many Mary-Sues and had perished from severe internal bleeding.

And Teyla had just had Ford's Wraith love child.

Chaos. It was pure, unadulterated chaos.

-----------------------

The Atlantis Stargate kawooshed to life suddenly, the noise of the wave errupting from the event horizon shattering the silence that engulfed the embarkation room.

There was no IDC code sent through the wormhole.

There was no-one there to activate the shield to keep the city of the Ancients protected from the unknown intruders.

No-one around to see the three, heavily laden, grungy female figures tromp down the ramp.

Not a single member of Atlantis staff still standing to watch as one of the figures squatted down to take a look at a bit of torn uniform marred with tiny teeth marks.

No-one there to watch as the one who had picked up the fabric swore under her breath and stomped out her cigar on the floor

"We're too late. It's the plot bunnies. They've already been here."

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A/N:Bloody Strawberry Cupcake had to go and name a plot bunny (literally, his name is Joe and he's living in my sock drawer right now) and give it to me. He himself didn't give me any ideas so much as the fact that she _named_ him gave me ideas.

Which inadvertently spawned another plot bunny and another plot bunny and another, which then became _this_.

Thanks sooo much for that Cupcake...-glare- I hope you know I'm naming a character after you for this.

I blame Elizabeth Bartlett too, just because she was in the general vicinity when it happened.

And Porthos1013.

And all of you that have fed the beastly Plot Bunnies that gnaw at my ankles by reviewing my other SGA silliness.

Spreading blame is fun.

What's worse though, is that I have more ideas for this ludicrous storyline and will most likely continue it to it's inevitably silly conclusion if it's well enough received (read:If I get ONE review, yes, that's right, one is enough to keep this one going XP)


	2. They Debate

The woman who was clutching the torn piece of Atlantis uniform stood once more and looked around herself at the carnage that was to be found within the confines of the gate room, face set in an expression of grim disappointment that made her look far older than she was.

The voice of one of her companions, a tall, but freakishly bean pole like blonde with long stringy hair broke through the eerie stillness timidly, "What kind is it, Charlie?"

"It's an Amnesia bunny." She replied thickly, dreading the gasp of horror that would no doubt accompany her statement.

"Oh, hell. Not another one of _those_." Her other companion, a short, geeky looking thing, with coke bottle framed glasses in a Ramones tee-shirt shrugged out of her heavy pack and let it drop to the ground next to her muddy, untied converse sneakers.

"But I thought we eradicated all the Amnesia bunnies back in the Buffy universe!" The blonde exclaimed anxiously.

"Apparently we forgot one, Dawn." The converse wearer replied darkly, removing her glasses and wiping them on the hem of her shirt.

The blonde just glared at the other woman, "That was a _really_ bad pun, even by _your_ standards, Lennon."

Lennon ignored Dawn, slid her glasses back on carelessly and leaned down to open her pack, retrieving two good sized nine millimeter automatics in the process, "So, what's the plan then, Charlotte? Search and destroy?"

"Yeah...yeah. First I want to make sure there aren't any survivors though. I don't want to have to wipe an entire fandom out of existence again."

Lennon lifted a sardonic eyebrow, "You're kidding, right? You know how fast Amnesia bunnies multiply and spread. I doubt there are any canon characters left alive."

Dawn, the blonde, nodded numbly while her bulbous blue eyes lighted on the bit of cloth in Charlotte's hand, "She's right you know, Charlie. Even if by some measure of a miracle there are some survivors left, they're probably way beyond _our_ help."

"I know that." Charlotte replied as she carefully tucked the piece of torn uniform in her leather vest pocket, "But I still want to _check_. All we need is one untouched canon to restore order, you know that."

"But that'll take forever!" Lennon griped, slapping her own thigh in her fervor, "I say we just plant some Anti-Bunny charges and blow this Popsicle stand, move onto the _next_ universe. Call this one a lost cause and just move on."

The dark look that was tossed at Lennon by her superior made her throw her hands up in the air in defeat, "Fine! Fine! We'll stay and see if we can fix it!"

She pegged a finger at Charlotte threateningly, "But if we don't find a _completely_ untouched canon character, we're blowing this place to kingdom come and moving on." She picked up her pack and slung it back over her shoulder, almost tipping over in the process, "I _mean_ it this time."

------------------

Halfway across the city of Atlantis, in a supply closet, fighting a nasty case of claustrophobia and an even nastier case of his boss chasing him in a hormone induced haze, Rodney McKay wheezed uneasily.

The only _untouched_ canon left.

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A/N:Oi...don't _ask_ where this stuff comes from. If I _knew_, I'd be able to get rid of it. Since I _can't_, you'll just have to put up with my insanity. I, as usual, have no idea where this is going to end up. Any thoughts?

Next chapter-Our three um..heroes? Meet the first instance of an Atlantis Mary Sue. This should prove to be...interesting...


	3. Glomped!

"Lets find a control station or something first, then we can figure out how to search this place from top to bottom most effectively."

Lennon flipped her hand dismissively as she looked around the gate room, "Yeah, yeah, we know the routine."

"Just reasserting my authority, Lenny," Charlotte replied to the geek.

"Yeah, well do me a favor and save the superior officer posturing for later. The faster we get this superfluous search out of the way the sooner I can blow this place up and we can get home.

"I think you just like blowing things up," Dawn said, interrupting what was sure to become one of Lennon's trademark complaining diatribes.

Lennon just continued as though she hadn't heard, "So if we could stop chatting and get to _work_, I'd appreciate it." She turned to the blonde, "And my affection for blowing things up has nothing to do with it, string bean. So lay off."

Halfway down a corridor that lead out of the gate room, the three Plot Bunny Busters came upon the mangled and twisted body of Doctor Carson Beckett.

Charlotte dropped to her knees next to him immediatly and looked him over, but Lennon had to turn away, the scene was so gruesome.

"I easily could've gone my whole life without seeing something like that."

Dawn looked on in some semblance of horrified fascination, "What happened to him?"

Lennon couldn't resist the impulse to needle the less experienced woman, "I realize you're new at this, but really, it's pretty easy to tell that he _died_."

"Well, I can see _that_! I meant _how_ did he die?"

"Looks like he was glomped to death," Charlotte replied grimly, turning sympathetic green eyes on the body before getting to her feet once again.

"Oh God," Lennon breathed, trying to look at the body without puking all over her checkerboard shoelaces, "There are Sues running around in addition to the Bunnies? This is worse than I thought. Only a Sue would be able to glomp a character to death."

Dawn looked puzzled momentarily, "Um..."

"Glomp." Lennon began to answer the question that the other woman hadn't even had the opportunity to ask yet, "It's something between a fierce, crushing hug and a full on offensive tackle." She brought her hands up parallel to each other to illustrate, "Imagine, if you will, launching yourself at someone at full speed and squeezing them on impact." She clapped her hands together hard, each of them ending up grasping the other with white knuckled intensity, "That, is a glomp. It's usually only attempted by Mary-Sues and overly excited Tom Cruise fan-girls. And since I don't see any fan-girls around..."

"We must have a huge amount of Sues running around to do this amount of damage then," Charlotte said, finishing for Lennon.

Dawn looked back down at the body, "Isn't there anything we can do for him?"

"_I_ don't think so," Charlotte replied, "Lenny? This really is more your area of expertise. Take a look?"

"Oh, hell no. You _know_ I don't like dead bodies. I am _not_ getting down next to it."

_"Him_. Lennon, it's a _him._"

"Nuh uh. It _was_ a him when it was still breathing, now it's an 'It'. A cold, clammy, covered in blood _It_. And I am not going anywhere _near_ 'It', so you can just forget 'It'."

"Lenny," Charlotte said seriously, "Don't force me to make it an order."

Lennon opened her mouth to retort but instead just ended up working her jaw silently for a few seconds before narrowing her eyes at her commander in a gesture that was somewhere between contrite and annoyed, "Alright, fine, I'll _look_. But I'm **not** touching it."

Charlotte looked on, clearly satisfied while Lennon began slowly, painfully slowly, approaching the dead doctor. She wasn't exactly sure what to do with her hands, so she just sort of kept them close up near her face while her fingers clenched and unclenched nervously. She _really_ hated dead bodies.

Her whole face was twisted in disgust as she edged towards the body, trying to study it with her eyes scrunched almost completely shut.

"Eeeeew." Was all she could muster as she stared down at Beckett.

"Well?" Dawn asked, slightly agitated.

"Bad. Really, _really_ bad." She replied, trying to keep her breakfast down.

"_How_ bad is it?" Dawn asked in a whisper, wondering why Lennon was beating around the proverbial bush.

"_How_ bad? Gerbil in a microwave bad."

"So there's absolutely no way to reverse the damage?" Charlotte asked, slipping back into superior officer mode and out of morbidly fascinated mode.

"Well, yes and no," She replied, turning back to Charlotte, glad for the excuse to turn away from the body, "He _could_ be revived with a _well written_ resurrection fic, but you and I both know how rare those are."

"It's hopeless then?"

"Yeah," Lennon said as she turned back to the body one last time.

She would've said more, but just then, a blonde head popped out around the corner above the body, startling her so badly she jumped back in surprise, nearly tripping over her colleagues and swearing loudly in Yiddish.

"Hi!" The bubbly blonde said, grinning from ear to ear like a demented Barbie doll, "I'm Sarah!"

Lennon let out a gut wrenching scream and dove for cover behind her companions, "It's a Sue! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!"

----------------------

A/N:Alrighty, so now you've gotten to know the 'Heroes' a little better (I use the term loosely with Lenny, she _is_ kind of a coward) through their interaction, whatcha think of 'em?


	4. What're Little Sues Made Of?

**Disclaimer/Warning**:I feel that before you begin reading I should warn you that my writing has a history of causing people to laugh so hard they cause themselves bodily injury, including but not limited to-

Falling off chairs, almost choking to death, Asthma attacks (I've caused three, to date) and snorting various beverages in/out of their noses. Several people have also had doubts cast upon their sanity by various family members because of their insane and uncontrollable laughter.

I feel that it is my responsibility to tell you that you should probably set aside any drinks you have nearby, put a bunch of pillows around the base of your chair, and keep your inhaler handy. I refuse to be held responsible for anything that happens as a direct result of laughter caused by me, since I've given you a proper warning _well_ ahead of time.

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"Shoot it, Charlie!" Lennon shouted as she cowered behind Charlotte shoving her foreword slightly, trying to make her point through actions, since her vocabulary seemed to be limited to the words 'Kill' 'It' and 'Shoot' since spotting the most dreaded creature in all of fanficdom.

"Lennon," Dawn began in a clear, reasonable tone, "let's not make assumptions here. There's always a chance that it's _not_ a Sue."

"What're you, high?" Lennon exclaimed squeakily, the sheer force of her shock causing her vocabulary to return in full force, "It's wearing pepto bismol colored army fatigues! There is no way in HELL it's a canon! Shoot it already!"

The tall, thin (but attractively curvy) blonde let out a charming, tinkling laugh and flipped her curls of purest molten gold over one of her perfectly formed ivory shoulders, "Don't be silly, I'm not a Sue!"

"You see!" Lennon exclaimed, gesturing wildly at the impossibly pretty woman across from her, "Didn't you just hear that dreadful syrupy voice-over character description in that last paragraph? It is most decidedly a Sue! Kill it!"

"Now wait, now wait," the stringy haired blonde replied diplomatically, "We don't know if it's a Sue for sure, I mean, we could just be dealing with a very descriptive author."

"Descriptive? Is that what they call butchering literature these days?" The geek asked in abject horror, "If you don't shoot it, I will!"

"We can't just go around shooting up the place all willy nilly! We need to have proof!"

Charlotte interrupted the two bickering women, "So, put her to the test."

"Test?" Sarah the gorgeous, blonde goddess asked innocently, her soft, melodious, honey laced voice caressing every syllable of the words she spoke, "I don't think there's any need for a _test_. I'm not a Mary-Sue, I'm a perfectly well rounded, realistic original character!" Her blue eyes sparkled beautifully, reflecting what little light was to be found in the dark corridor, making her look like an ethereal being.

Lennon winced at the overabundance of complementary adjectives that had just been used in reference to the creature standing across from her.

"If that's an OC then I'm a Vermicious Knid!" She shouted, pointing at the beast accusingly, "If you want to test it, then test it already so I can shoot it!"

Charlotte and Dawn didn't look the least bit amused, but complied with Lennon's 'suggestion' anyway.

"Fine. The test it is then." Charlotte turned to the sultry, golden haired angel and challenged her, "How long have you been on Atlantis, and how many romantic entanglements have you had since you arrived?"

The blonde blushed prettily, the rosieness creeping up her cheeks in a most attractive manner, "Romantic entanglements? Well, gee, I dunno..."

"Answer the damn question!" Lennon snapped angrily.

"Well, I've been here for seven days," Sarah answered sweetly, "And..well...I don't know about 'romantic' anything, but I know I shared a _moment_ with John Sheppard, Doctor Zelenka and I work really well together, Ronon can't seem to form sentences around me, Caldwell has asked me to see him this Friday-"

"I've heard enough," Charlotte broke in sadly, "Shoot it."

"With pleasure!" Lennon said gleefully, as she checked the clip in her nine millimeter.

"What? No! Wait! I'm not a Sue! You're all supposed to like me! I-"

**BLAM**!

The round fired from Lennon's pistol had the desired effect, causing the Sue to blow up in a flash of pretty sparkles, butterflies and pink fluffy goop.

"Wow," Dawn said after a few seconds of awed silence, "So _that_'s what they're made of."

"Not entirely," Charlotte replied, pointing at what was left of the Sue lying on the floor, "watch."

A noxious, glowing green cloud began to rise up from the midst of the sparkly pink stuff and collected itself where the Sue had once stood.

"Whoa. What _is_ it?" Dawn asked timidly, both awed and frightened at the same time.

"It's pure concentrated evil," Lennon replied, as she wiped some of the cotton candy colored slime that had managed to hit her off her glasses, "That's what it is."

The green cloud let out an angry roar that should have had the three women shaking in their boots, "We're ALL Sues at heart!" It screamed before it faded and dissipated into nothingness.

The three unlikely heroes stood in the hallway for several more seconds, in a combination of relief, disgust and exhaustion, just staring a the slop that used to be the Mary-Sue.

"Well, now that _that_ crisis is over," Lennon said, the irritation creeping back into her tone, now that the immediate danger had passed, "Can we please find the control room or whatever?"

Charlotte looked introspectively at the pile of pink glop, once again her expression making her look years older than she was, "Yeah. Let's do that." She gestured around herself distractedly, "I also want to get these lights back on, if at all possible. I'm getting sick of walking around in the dark."

Charlotte shifted her jaw until it popped noisily, "And we should try and find some personnel files. We can identify the Sues faster next time if we do."

Lennon blinked once before sending a smoldering glare in Charlotte's direction, "You have _got_ to be kidding me! I identified it within seconds! If you had listened to me in the first place and shot it when I told you to, I wouldn't be dripping with Sue goo!"

The elder members of the three woman team continued arguing all the way down the corridor until Dawn spotted something out of the corner of her eye lying on the floor and went to investigate.

"Alright!" Dawn exclaimed, "Headsets!"

The blonde picked up the small bits of metal and plastic and handed the small devices to her companions.

"A little too convenient to find these in the middle of a hallway, don't you think?" Lennon asked suspiciously as she took the item in question from her comrade and studied it carefully.

"Doesn't matter," Charlotte replied, "We need them, they're here, put 'em on."

Lennon eyed the earpiece with trepidation, but the other two immediatly put them on their heads and tapped them, activating them with a small metallic chirp.

"Put it on, Lenny. That's an order."

With one last grumbled word and a sour face, Lennon complied with the order issued to her.

"Excellent," Charlotte said, pleased with her team's newly 'wired' status, "Now we can split up."

"Good idea," Lennon answered caustically as she adjusted her headset, trying to keep it from getting hung up on one of the legs of her glasses, "We can do more damage that way."

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A/N:I bet half of you didn't heed my warning at the top of the chapter _again_, and injured yourselves. Isn't that so? God knows I keep getting messages that you're all snorting juice out your noses or choking on your breakfast because of me. Don't deny it...I know it's true.

I can't decide if the fact that I can't stop laughing when I read my own stuff means that I'm really, really funny, or really, really arrogant. Since most people who laugh at their own jokes _are_ really, really arrogant, I'm kinda worrying about it. My others make me laugh too, but not quite as hard as this one.

God, I'm really starting to LOVE writing for these three. Especially Lenny. Just...I just wanna squeeze her, the neurotic little thing. Add it to your alert list if you wanna keep reading it, drop me a review if you like it, toss some plot bunnies at me people, I don't mind.

I'm a good catch, honest, I won't drop them. -self pimpage- Read my other SGA stories as well, if you like. They're all humor based, but more plot driven this this goofy thing.


	5. Drama Queen?

I almost killed someone with my writing again. I swear to you, I don't do it on purpose! I write whatever pops into my sick, twisted little brain! It's not my fault you find it so funny you almost fall out a window!

Understand, I don't find the fact I keep almost killing people funny, I just...

Well, yeah, I find it hilarious; But not in a _cruel_ way or anything. It just fills me with such glee that I'm making people laugh so hard, that it _seems_ like I'm laughing _at_ you when I'm really...laughing _with_ you. Seriously people, stop doing anything that could injure you while reading this, ok? A writer is only as good as her reviews, so if I kill you all, I'll be _very_ depressed.

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"Have I mentioned just how much I detest small spaces?" Lennon's voice crackled over the headset and into her comrade's ears.

"Not for the past five minutes or so, no," Charlotte replied as her fingers sped swiftly over the manila file folders in Doctor Weir's office, searching for personnel records.

"Well, in that case, just for the record; I detest_-_ nay, I _loathe_ small spaces," She said, drawing out the 'O' in the word 'loathe' for dramatic effect.

Dawn cast a long suffering glance in Charlotte's general direction as she continued reading over blueprints for the city of Atlantis, which were messy and far from complete, "You know, you _could_ get out of there _faster_ if you spent less time complaining and more time _working_."

Lennon let out an unladylike snort which translated over the static ridden airwaves loudly, "I'll complain all I like. As big a mess as all this wiring is, it won't make any difference anyway. So, back to the hating small spaces thing..."

Charlotte tried not to roll her eyes, "Just hurry up, would you? We need to get this place powered up again."

"I know that!" Lennon answered quickly, "But what do you want me to do? Take out an underwire and MacGyver something together?"

This time the geek's superior was unable to keep her eyes from rolling of their own accord, "You know, the MacGyver references were cute for the first five minutes after we got here, but they just aren't funny anymore. Now quit whining and _work_."

The only reply from the other end of the com was a grumble that sounded like a suppressed insult and a begrudging concession of defeat.

While Charlotte and Dawn were in Weir's office, sorting through pile upon pile of hard copy files, Lennon was scrunched into a very uncomfortable position about three levels away, cursing the fact that no matter what sort of wiring she had to get to, or in what situation, it _always_ had to be housed within a small, claustrophobic amount of space.

"Jeffries tubes. Why does it _always_ have to be Jeffries tubes?" She mumbled from around a pocket flashlight that was held between her teeth, illuminating the tiny area in which she had to work.

"Wrong fandom Lenny," Dawn reminded her from the other end of the com link, sounding very smug, "Jeffries tubes are Star _Trek_, not Star_gate_."

"Bite me, blondie," Lennon replied distractedly, as she pulled back a sheet of metal paneling in front of her, "I never really paid much attention to stuff like-OW!"

A string of curses that would have caused a sailor to blush issued forth from the two headsets of her colleagues causing them a moment of panic.

"You alright Lenny? What happened?" Charlotte's voice asked, clearly full of concern as she turned worried eyes on Dawn, who had stopped her study of the blueprints in her moment of agitation.

"Oh, I'm just peachy, thanks!" Lennon sucked her now blistered fingers into her mouth. "The facacta thing shocked me!"

Neither of the two women in Weir's office would ever admit to feeling a wave of relief wash over them after hearing their patience trying cohort's reply.

"Oh please, it was just a little shock," Dawn said dismissively, turning back to the plans in front of her now that her fear for her teammates welfare was discovered to be unfounded, "Stop being such a drama queen."

"Drama queen? _Drama_ _queen_?" Lennon asked disbelievingly, "Oh, yeah, sure! My heart's beating so hard inside my chest it might burst out of my ribcage any second and you want me to stop being a _'Drama Queen'_."

Charlotte sighed, "You just _had_ to get her started, didn't you."

"Let me tell you something _pal_," Lennon continued without even acknowledging that her superior had said anything, much less insulted her, "I'm bloody well entitled to whine after that 'little' hundred volt jolt I just got, so either put up with it, or find a new partner!"

Lennon railed on for several minutes, under her breath of course, muttering several choice words and phrases that, had they been heard by someone other than her two teammates (who were used to her ranting by now) or by someone who had more than a rudimentary understanding of Yiddish, they might have gotten her killed in any number of creative and painful ways by the verbally injured party.

Several minutes, and about six shocks to the heart later, lights all over the Ancient city sputtered to life, and Lennon struggled out of the uncomfortably small crawl space that had served as her home for the past forty minutes or so and stretched.

She was hot, sweaty, and still covered in Sue goo, which only served to add to her already _delightful_ personality.

"Well, don't all jump at once to thank me, or anything." She griped, as she picked up her pack from outside the access panel and slung it over her shoulder again before heading off towards the now active transporter.

"Sorry, Lenny," Dawn replied, her voice glazed over in something akin to panic, "We're a little busy at the moment. It looks like we've got a rouge Muse on our hands."

Lennon stopped in mid-stride, swore loudly and then picked up speed, "I'm on the way."

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A/N:For those of you who don't speak Yiddish, the word 'Facacta' means ridiculous or lousy. I used the phonetic spelling instead of the traditional, which is 'farkatk(e)' Did I spell MacGyver correctly? I have no idea (my mother would be appalled!) since I never liked the show. I watched SG1 long before I knew that MacGyver existed, and after seeing RDA as Jack, I just…couldn't get past the mullet. Shallow, I know. The plot bunnies are still nipping at my heels nastily for this story, but I'm almost out of plot bunnies for 'Retribution!' anyone wanna go read it and throw me some? Please? -puppy eyes-

I've decided to cast a wider net of blame from now on, as it's not only those of you who give me plot bunnies but also those who made my sense of humor what it is who're responsible for my writing. Thusly, I figure that _they_ should be held responsible for whatever injury you sustain as a result of my sense of humor. You can sue the following people and/or their estates for any damages-

Mel Brooks, Robin Williams, the entire cast of Saturday Night Live throughout it's first twenty year run, Mel Brooks, Christopher Guest, Peter Sellers, Monty Python, Mel Brooks, Mitch Hedburg, The Three Stooges (actually, all six of them), Kevin Smith, Mel Brooks, Rob Reiner, The Marx Brothers, Jack Lemmon, Mel Brooks, Sam Raimi, Gene Roddenberry, Chuck Jones, Mel Brooks, Tex Avery, Roald Dahl, The Lone Gunmen and **Mel Brooks**.


	6. An Over Whumped Wimp

I finished four new chapters today, three for this story and one for 'And Neither Am I' but document manager decided it hates me and wishes to do me personal injury. I think that maybe it needs therapy to get over it's issues. Either way, it was lucky I had a blank document left over (well, not -completely- blank) that I could paste the next chapter's contents into.

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Lennon reached the transporter and slammed her fist on the control panel at the side. "Come on, come on, come on!" She tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for the doors to open.

"Lenny, where are you?"

"I'm coming!" She groused into the headset, as the transporter doors slipped open with a 'Shluck' noise. Before Lennon had time to celebrate the lift's arrival though, her breath caught in her throat at what was already waiting for her inside.

Slumped against the wall of, down on the floor with his head resting on his knees, looking more depressed than anyone who had ever walked the face of the planet, was Colonel John Sheppard.

"Great. Just _great," _She sneered at the mess that used to be one of the strongest canon characters in the Stargate fandom. She bent her neck to one side, letting it pop noisily, "The first _living_ canon I come across, and it's got to be an over-whumped one."

Lennon shifted the weight of her pack from one shoulder to the other, and debated abandoning the idea of using the transporter to get to the other members of her team. She scrunched up her nose in disgust, but climbed into the transporter anyway. She had to get to the others as quickly as possible, even if it meant riding up a few floors with this...this...well, Lennon was pretty sure there was a word for it, but she couldn't find it at the moment.

"I want to die," the wimp Sheppard moaned, as he looked up at Lennon with soulful, teary, puppy dog eyes.

"Well, aren't you just a regular ray of sunshine," She said nastily as she looked down at him. She could see his arms had been cut several times and to varying degrees, which disgusted her no end. She swore to herself that she would wring the neck of the Cutter Bunny who had caused this with her bare hands if she ever found it.

If there was one thing that she hated more than Mary Sues, it was over-whumped characters with nothing better to do than sit around and bitch and moan. At least when she herself bitched and moaned it was (usually) for a damn good reason. Not because of some perceived internal angst that had been set upon her by a rabid plot bunny.

Lennon could only sigh, roll her eyes and hope that the transporter would move quickly so that she could get as far away from this mess of a man as fast as humanly possible.

Over whumped characters were always awkward to deal with.

The only sound in the Ancient elevator after the doors slid shut, was that of Sheppard's anguished, and completely over exaggerated weeping, along with Lennon's watch ticking loudly in the small, slightly echo-y space.

It stayed that way until the transporter stopped moving and Lennon made to get out. It was then that the whumped wimp grabbed her ankle.

"Don't leave me! I hate my life! I want to die!" Sheppard wailed like a wounded animal, "I'm so far from home! No one will ever love me! I'm doomed to a lonely meaningless military existence! And my hair sucks!" He clung to her ankle like a limpet, crying the entire time.

"Yeah well, you know, good luck with the whole dying thing," Lennon snarked, "And although, I can't really argue about the hair, I _really_ have to go now."

He just hung on and wailed louder.

"Ugh, God!" Lennon exclaimed, "What heinous crime did I commit, in which former life, to deserve this?" She shook her leg, trying to get the clingy military officer to release her, but to no avail, "Let go!"

Lennon was forcefully reminded by Sheppard's behavior of a poodle that her great aunt Dottie once had that enjoyed wrapping itself around her ankle every time she entered the old woman's apartment. Sadly, she couldn't just drag the colonel around the way she had the dog, nor did she have a spray bottle filled with cold water or a milkbone handy with which to distract him.

So instead, she did the next best thing.

Lennon slipped her heavy pack off her shoulders and delivered a blow to Sheppard's head that knocked him out cold, thus allowing her to extricate her now bruised ankle from his vice like grip.

"Sorry pal, nothing personal."

----------------------

A/N:I don't think this one's as funny as the others, but it was an issue that _had_ to be addressed.

I had to poke fun at some of the horrible angst stuff that's out there. There's so much of it that's just 'wah wah wah feel sorry for me wah wah wah' that it drives me crazy. Angst is ok, if it's done well, but it's really easy to go overboard with it. Not that I know from experience, or anything.

I also had to poke at the cutter's cliché. It bugs the hell out of me that some authors use the equation 'Cutting equals Angst' because it's a serious disorder that needs to be addressed with professional treatment. Not a go-to for giving your character instant depth where there wasn't any before.

And before any Sheppard fangirls attack me for what I did to him, or said about him, I want to say that I actually adore Sheppard _and_ his awful hair -squishes him-


	7. A Short Real Life Interlude

Techie had been at her desk for about an hour and a half, The Dead Kennedys pumping through her headphones, studiously banging her head on her keyboard with such force she thought she might break her glasses.

Her parakeet, Burgess, kept looking at her funny as she repeatedly slammed her head on the offending piece of equipment.

iLUADHgowaehfsadjhfliugfkjFDPIhfr

kjsdhflkjsadhflkahdwf

sdjfhlskjahfdaliuhfd

Fan Fiction Dot Net's document manager had decided that it hated her guts and outright refused to allow her to upload any documents.

She didn't understand why. Techie usually got along swimmingly with technology in all forms. She coded websites with ease, thanked vending machines for their continued service and had never had a car break down on her in her entire life.

But the document manager just detested her.

She had argued with it, shouted at it, begged it, offered to bribe it, swore at it, pleaded with it, and threatened it's existence if it didn't cooperate.

It just ignored all her ranting and kept coming up as a 404 error message.

Techie also tried contacting the FF administrators out of desperation, but to no avail. There was no answer. Those bastards had deserted her, in this, her most dire hour of need.

This was _not_ good.

Techie could tell that she was beginning to suffer the effects of review withdrawals. She had gotten so used to the wonderful, ego stroking, positive reinforcement that she knew she had become addicted.

Her reason for getting up super early in the morning used to be to get to the fruit loops before her room-mate did and watch cartoons while lounging in her blue flannel sock monkey pajamas.

Now it was so she could read and reply to her reviews before leaving for work.

It had been almost twelve hours since she had read or replied to one. She needed a fix, and she needed it **now**.

She continued bashing her head on her keyboard, cursing the fan fiction Gods who had chosen _now,_ of all times, to seek revenge for her first OC who had been a complete Mary Sue.

She hadn't known any better back then! She had only ever read Mary Sue stories! It wasn't fair to punish her for the sins of her youth!

So what if it was only last year? Exclamation point, question mark, exclamation point.

Bang.

jadshfaijshgd

Bang.

sakfhgakjshg

Bang.

sfhgkjdhgflksahdf

Bang.

sdjfhaskjdh

Beep.

She looked up at the computer screen before she squealed and spun in her desk chair with delight, causing her long suffering room-mate to fall off the couch in surprise.

'The document has been successfully uploaded'

----------------------

A/N:Document manager has hated me for the past forty eight hours or so. I also couldn't get to any of my reviews to reply to them. This was the result of that frustration/insanity/review withdrawal. Thanks to Reefgirl for giving me the info on how to make the bloody stubborn thing work, I owe you my life. Well, at least a story of your choosing XD

I spelled out the 'exclamation point, question mark' thing because fan fiction dot net won't allow you to use more than one in a row, in case you didn't know that, and it drives me crazy that I can't. I don't want to use a million exclamation points in a row, but if a character is asking a question, and it's _also _an exclamation, it really isn't fair that I can't use the proper punctuation marks to express that.

Before anyone asks:Yes, I have a parakeet named Burgess, I _do_ thank vending machines (I have this theory of 'Vending Machine Karma'), I really do wear blue flannel sock monkey pajamas, there have been fights over the last of the fruit loops that could make a war veteran cringe, and I did startle my roomie fall off the couch when I squealed with delight and spun in my chair.

And now, back to your regularly scheduled, semi normal (in comparison to THIS chapter, anyway) SGA story.


	8. UnaMUSEing

Lennon arrived in Weir's office within minutes of finally shaking her way out of Sheppard's grasp, but found her two colleagues missing. All thought of whining about the ridiculous experience she'd just had and all the bad 'German Sheppard Leg Humping' jokes flew right out the window.

"Charlie?" She ventured, her voice raised slightly with anxiety, "Dawn? Where are you?"

"We're in the office next door," Charlotte said, her voice sounding worn and sickly over the com link. Not at all like her usual authorotative, gruff tone. It worried Lennon a bit more than she was comfortable admitting.

Lennon left Weir's office quickly, and entered the other, smaller one next door where her two colleagues were now standing.

"What makes you think that there's-" She rounded the corner and entered the small office, her mouth still running until her brain could catch up with what she was seeing, "a Muse on the loose?"

Her eyes got big at the sight that greeted her, and she stood, mouth hanging wide like a fish, as she stared around.

It looked like there had been a small plot bunny massacre committed recently. Bits of fur, flesh and various other substances that Lennon really didn't care to think about identifying were strewn _everywhere. _

Someone had taken it upon themselves to blow several bunnies to smithereens. The assumption on Dawn's part that it was a rouge Muse was most likely a correct one.

Since the plot bunny plague had broken out amongst the fandoms some years before, the Muses were beginning to seek retribution against those that they considered to be usurpers to _their_ positions as supreme inspirational deities.

Every now and again, one of the Muses would seek out the plot bunnies that had taken over her realm and try to deal with them herself; rather than let the task fall to those who were more experienced in dealing with the bunny menace.

This was one of those times, apparently.

Throughout the time that the three had spent traveling through various fictional universes, setting right all the fan fiction wrongs that were committed within them, they had learned several valuable lessons. Two of which, stuck out in Lennon's mind at this precise moment in time, as she stared at the plot bunny gore that was spread over everything.

One: An angry Muse showing up in the middle of your mission is bad.

Two:An angry and quite obviously **heavily** armed Muse showing up in the middle of your mission is really, _really_ bad

Not 'Gerbil in a microwave bad'.

No, even _worse_.

This was right up there with 'Star Wars Christmas Special', Giant Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man descending on New York City, 'Batman And Robin is going to get a sequel' **bad**.

Lennon promptly dashed out of the room to find a nice quiet place in which to retch.

Several minutes later, Charlotte and Dawn exited the small room with all the files that they had originally gone in there to retrieve. The manila folders were soaked through with karo syrupy plot bunny blood, and had they not been necessary for their mission, they would _gladly_ have left them where they had found them.

Lennon had slid down the wall parallel to the now closed office door and was recovering from her nausea, her heavy pack sitting next to her in a heap.

"I knew it, I knew it, I KNEW IT!" She spouted angrily, "I knew we should have just blown this place up the second we got here! You should have let me set the charges first thing! We have to destroy Atlantis!"

"We can't do that until we've made sure there's _no_ chance of saving it," Charlotte stated simply, drawing a stubby cigar out of her leather jacket pocket and lighting it up, "You know it's against the rules."

"Screw the rules!" Lennon shouted as she struggled to her feet, looking green about the gills, "There is no way in hell that I'm going to deal with another rampaging Muse, not after the last time! Besides, it's not like we really follow 'The Rules' on a regular basis anyway!"

"Lenny," Dawn began. She was cut off before she could say another word by the geek who had managed to get on her soapbox within seconds.

"No! No! No! No!" She screamed, in what was shaping up to be a tantrum of toddler proportions, "There is absolutely NOTHING you can say that will make me change my mind! I'm not going up against a Muse! No! Absolutely not! You can't make me!"

Charlotte chewed at her cigar thoughtfully, "Really Lenny, it's not _that_ big a deal."

"Not that big a deal? NOT THAT BIG A DEAL?" She shouted, red in the face, "Am I the only one who saw that Troma movie caliber carnage in there? Did you lose your eyesight or something? THERE WERE BUNNY BITS EVERYWHERE!"

"Now Lennon," Charlotte slipped seamlessly back into superior officer mode, "Don't make me pull rank."

"Rank? RANK? You think that scares me? It doesn't! Not when we're dealing with a Muse! You can't punish me if we're all dead!"

"Lenny!" Dawn said, throwing her two cents in, "Get ahold of yourself! We're supposed to be fighting for all of fanficdom here!"

"Well, what the hell is this?" Lennon exclaimed angrily, holding up her badly blistered fingers for examination, "This isn't fighting? I put my butt on the line, week in and week out, while you and Charlie just hide behind the scenes! Last time I went up against a Muse, I got shot! You hear me? S-H-O-T, shot! I am putting my foot down this time, Dawn, I ain't doin' it!"

Dawn looked to her commanding officer for some sort of assurance that Lennon would stop her ranting and come to her senses, but found none. Charlotte just continued puffing on her cigar, looking straight ahead at the geek, eyes unwavering as she listened to her friend scream at the heavens.

"I'm not doing it and that's **final**!" Lennon shouted, pointing an angry finger at Charlotte, "If you two want to commit suicide, then go ahead and stay! Fine! I don't care! I, on the other hand am planting anti-bunny-charges and getting the hell out of Dodge!"

With that final statement, she scooped her pack up by one of it's straps and stormed off down the corridor, intent on doing just what she had promised.

--------------------------------

A/N: I think I've discovered why there's so much whumpage out there now. Beating up on characters is _fun_. Poor Lenny, I love her so much, but I just keep beatin' up on her -shakes her head sadly- plus, writing her tantrum was really amusing.

Have I mentioned how much I relish writing dialogue lately? Because I do. I just love it. This tantrum was such fun to write. I sat here at my desk and shouted all the lines myself to see if they fit just so, and I couldn't be more pleased with the result.

My neighbors think that I'm some kind of loon though now, fighting with myself like that. Oh well...I hope it was as much fun to read as it was to write XD

So, what's the verdict?


	9. Meanwhile

Excuse me while I rant for a few paragraphs. You can skip it if you like.

-**Begin Rant-**

I got alot (alot ALOT) of PMs after chapter five inquiring as to who Mel Brooks is.

After I recovered from the convulsions, and the shouting at my computer screen about the fact that the educational system had obviously failed yet again in teaching what real comedy is, I decided to enlighten the masses.

Mel Brooks is a writer and director who's single handedly responsible for some of the best (well, if you have my sense of humor that is) comedies of our time. Blazing Saddles, Spaceballs, The Producers (BOTH versions), Young Frankenstein, Robin Hood Men In Tights, The History Of The World Pt. 1, Silent Movie, Dracula Dead And Loving It and so on and so forth. You get the idea.

He's the man who _started_ the idea of the Spoof, and unlike those that come out now, alot of his were _socially_ relevant and served as commentary on the times. You think that anything that's come out in the past five years (Scary Movie, etc.) was a good spoof? They were crap in comparison.

Go rent them and worship the genius that is Mel Brooks, or I will hunt you down and put you in a headlock.

See if I don't.

-End Rant-

----------------------------

Meanwhile...

Doctor McKay had been hiding in that tiny supply closet from Bimbo Weir (as he had dubbed her in his head) for at least six hours before the headset he was wearing hummed to life, picking up several voices he had never heard before.

Of course, it was illogical to think that he would be able to identify the voices of _all_ the occupants of Atlantis, he _knew_ that of course, but he was pretty damn sure that these particular voices weren't from around _here_. They shouted and bickered like children, and he was relitively certain that even though he never really paid much attention to secondary staff, he was sure he would've remembered three people who fought like _that_.

He debated for a long time whether or not he should say anything over the com link, fearing that perhaps these voices belonged to more of those Mary-Sue-Things that had been chasing him all over the planet almost as doggedly as The Bimbo Weir had been.

After listening to them for a while though, he decided that these three were most likely _not_ Mary-Sues and seemed to be people who were here to _help_.

At least, two of them were. The other one just seemed to enjoy complaining and snarking back at her superior officer while she worked.

McKay, of course, didn't see any connection between his own behavior and that of the one that was called 'Lenny'.

Certainly didn't sound like a 'Lenny' to him. The one called 'Charlie' didn't sound much like a 'Charlie' either, for that matter. Maybe they were transvestites?

Either way, they seemed to be his best chance at getting out of this closet while still avoiding ending up in the clutches of Weir, which was really his prime concern at the moment.

He debated for several more minutes.

On the one hand, if they _were_ more of those Mary-Sue things, then he was giving away his position and most likely forfeiting his life. He had seen what had happened to Beckett. He really didn't want to end his life _that_ way. He figured that being shot, stabbed, poisoned, beheaded, drawn and quartered and disemblowled would prove infinitly less painful than the fate that Beckett had suffered.

On the other hand, if they weren't Mary-Sues, then they were his best chance of getting out of this closet unscathed and to a point where he could figure out how to undo whatever was happening all over the base. That is, _if_ it could be undone. If it couldn't, then maybe he could find a way to beg, plead or cajole them into allowing him to tag along with them back to wherever they came from.

He fought with himself about the pros and cons of the situation for still another few minutes, before finally coming to a decision.

In a fit of what he would later call blatent, flagrant stupidity and lack of common sense brought on by crushing claustrophobia, he tapped his ear piece and cleared his throat.

"This is Doctor Rodney McKay of Earth," He stated, trying to keep his voice from cracking and failing spectacularly "Resident Atlantis astrophysicist, calling...calling...well, calling whoever you are-"

He gulped once.

"HELP!"

-------------------------------------

A/N: I figured it was about time to check up on our dear Doctor McKay, I was beginning to worry about him. I'm feeling all apprehensive about writing a canon character again (I went through this with the other SGA fics) simply because I've only been playing around in _this_ particular fandom for a week astwo days ago. I've since started four SGA fics (three are still going, and one is complete) all of which are humor/fluff and all of which are _still_ getting rave reviews -brag brag brag- it's amazing just how many flippin' awesome buddies you can make in a great fandom like this in such a short amount of time as well.

To think, it all started when I was bitten by a plot bunny set on me by Porthos1013 with the story 'Something's Come Up' -cough- go read it -cough- I'm forever grateful XD


	10. Still Meanwhile

This takes place simultaneously with the last chapter.

-------------------

Dawn looked from where Lennon had been standing just moments before to her commanding officer, looking worried.

"You don't think she'll," Dawn gulped, "You don't think she'll follow through on her threat, do you?"

Charlotte just stumped out her cigar on a nearby wall. "Oh, I have no doubt she intends to blow us up and leave," She replied to the younger woman coolly.

Dawn looked completely perplexed, Charlotte was talking about them being blown up and she wasn't even sweating. "Well why aren't we going after her to stop her then!" Dawn squeaked.

"Because, she _can't_ leave," Charlotte answered, as she slipped a hand into one of the many pockets on her black leather vest and retrieved a small blue crystal.

"Where did you get that? _What_ is it?"

Charlotte's eyes twinkled mischievously, "I grabbed it out of one of the Gate's control panels while we were separated from Lenny earlier. I don't know what it is for sure, but it _looks_ pretty damn vital, don't you think?"

Dawn looked like she had just discovered a newfound respect for her commanding officer. "Oh...she is gonna _kill_ you, Charlie," She said, her tone halfway between admiration and amusement.

"Nah. Not _kill_ me," Charlotte said thoughtfully, "Killing isn't Len's style, she appreciates subtlety in her revenge scenarios. I'll probably get a mysterious itchy rash or something like that."

Dawn looked horrified at the blasé way Charlotte was considering the punishment she was certain she was going to receive at the hands of the temperamental geek.

Charlotte waved her hand dismissively. "I'm not worried about it." She smiled and slipped the crystal back into it's former hiding place, "This isn't the first time she's had a tantrum like this, you know. She just needs a little time to cool down."

Dawn still looked slightly unsure. Charlotte squeezed her arm comfortingly, "You'll get used to it after you've worked with her as long as I have."

The blonde snorted, "I highly doubt I'll _ever_ get used to Lenny."

Suddenly, a thick crackling static broke out over the headsets of the two women who were standing in the corridor, interrupting their conversation.

"This is Doctor Rodney McKay of Earth," came an unsteady male voice. Charlotte and Dawn looked at each other in puzzlement.

"Resident Atlantis astrophysicist, calling...calling...well, calling whoever you are-"

"Is that...is that a _canon_?" Dawn asked in disbelief.

Charlotte nodded, her eyebrows knitting together as she struggled to hear the garbled transmission.

"HELP!"

-------------------------

A/N:I love Lenny, but I just had to spend a little time with my other Bunny Busters. They were too two dimensional and needed more...I dunno...character XD I also came really, REALLY close to writing some of the Busters history (like the team member who was there _before_ Dawn) but I didn't know if I wanted to add that sort of..I don't know, it was like, emotional history. I don't know if I want to do a 'serious' chapter like that or not. I mean, do you guys want to know the Busters' history? How they ended up together and stuff? If so, then I'll write it, but if not, I'll just leave that chapter in the rubbish bin. What clichés would you like to see tackled next? I have a running list of the ones I want to get to, but I'm still up for suggestions. Also, is there anything that you guys would like to see in particular? I'm curious, cause there's been a bit of shippy Lenny/McKay stuff thrown at me in PMs (which makes me wonder about some of you people...really...j/k XD)


	11. And Meanwhile Yet Again

My room-mate talked me into watching some lame teen slasher flick and then when it ended I found out that SGA was just ending on a local channel. I haven't seen any SGA or SG1 in months (no cable, don't cha know) and I missed it. -.-;

I think I died a little inside. -weeps-

Again, this is simultaneous with the last two chapters.

-------------------------------

Lennon stalked off down the corridor away from her two companions, hell bent on leaving this God forsaken ball of water as soon as possible.

She hadn't wanted to come here. Being on a planet made of water when one can't _swim_ is ridiculous in itself, but staying once you found out that you were going to run into a _Muse_ was beyond stupid.

Way beyond.

She knew that the other two would come to their senses within minutes, and follow her to the control room. After she opened the gate, and set the charges, they would most likely show up in the nick of time, then the three would move onto the next mission, the blown up memory that was Atlantis nothing more than a mission report with a big, fat, red 'FAILED' stamp across it.

Granted, Charlotte would be pissed beyond reason, but she'd get over it. She always did, didn't she?

Lennon passed the Sue goo glop and what was left of Doctor Beckett on her way back to the control room, and her stomach only did a little flip-flop at the sight. She figured it must've been since she'd already tossed her cookies, her stomach didn't have strength for anything more than a slight roll.

She started dialing the sequence of symbols that would allow her safe passage home the second she hit the control room, not even bothering to glance around herself at the mess that was to be found.

She muttered to herself as her fingers flew over the keys of one of the control panels. Lennon worked as quickly as she possibly could, ignoring the fact that the blisters on her hands were trying to rupture.

After she had encoded the first six chevrons, she prepared to lock the seventh.

"Chevron Seven..." She said aloud, "Chevron seven..." She banged on the keypad angrily, "Damn it! Chevron seven! LOCK, YOU STUBBORN THING!"

After several minutes of fighting with the key pad, she dropped to her knees, and tore off a piece of metal paneling. She swore repeatedly at the sight that greeted her. There, in amongst the hundreds of control crystals, was a blank spot.

"I am going to make that woman wish she'd never been born!" She shouted angrily, "How does she do that? She doesn't know a thing about technology and yet she _always_ manages to make it where I can't escape!"

Lennon reached into her pocket and withdrew the blasted earpiece, intent on using it to verbally tear her commanding officer a new one, "You selfish, vile, conniving-"

----------------------------------

After hearing the plea from Doctor McKay, Charlotte had spent several minutes trying to raise Lennon on the headset, to no avail. She finally gave up calling her and snatched Dawn's earpiece from her.

She might not have been a Techie, but she knew that anytime you brought two microphones close together, they made one hell of a racket.

She brought the two bits of metal close together and winced against the silence shattering squeal the things emitted. If that didn't get Lennon's attention, nothing would.

--------------------------------

The ear piece squealed so suddenly and loudly that she let out a shriek and threw the offending piece of equipment away without thinking. After she recovered from her shock, she snatched it up once again, "Are you _trying_ to kill me? I need these eardrums you know!"

"Lennon, I've been trying to reach you for the past five minutes! You shouldn't have taken off your headset!"

"Well, I've been trying to leave for the past five minutes! _Someone_ removed a very vital crystal in the Stargate's control array!" She mocked, "Would you happen to know anything about that? Oh fearless leader?"

"Lenny, we don't have time for you to have another tantrum."

"Tantrum? I do **not** have tantrums!"

"Lenny…"

"I'm just a little miffed that you've decided to keep me on a leash!"

"Lennon..."

"I can't believe you'd do this to me Charlotte! How could you-"

"Shut your pisk, you nebish!" Charlotte shouted into her headset, "We have a situation here!"

Lennon stopped talking immediatly. Charlotte had never used Yiddish in a sentence before and it stunned her. "Did you...did you just say 'Shut your big yap you little nerd'?"

"Yes!" Charlotte replied hastily, "Now listen! We have a-"

"Since when do **you** speak Yiddish?"

Lennon could almost hear Charlotte rolling her eyes. "Since I've been working with you for seven years!"

"Why haven't you said anything before?" Lennon asked, genuinely puzzled.

"We were never in a Yiddish usage kind of situation before."

"What would constitute-"

"Damn it Lenny, would you just shut up about the Yiddish already! We've found a canon!"

Lennon's dark eyes went wide, "A canon? An _unaffected_ canon?"

"Yes, it sounds that way," Dawn broke in, "He contacted us over the headsets. Now would you come down here?"

Lennon got to her feet and debated with herself for a few moments.

Charlotte looked to Dawn, and said something that she knew would put Lennon over the top, "Lenny, we can't restore everything to normal without you and that equipment. Please?"

Lennon snorted, popped her jaw and tangled her hand in her hair before replying, "When all else fails, stroke the ego, is that it?"

Dawn had to force down a giggle that tried to burst forth from her throat, "Yes, Lennon. We need you...please?"

There was a long suffering sigh from the other end of the line, "Alright..._fine_."

Charlotte and Dawn smiled at each other triumphantly, "We'll be waiting right where you left us."

Lennon gathered up her pack and slung it back over her shoulders, "Yeah, yeah." She started back down out of the control room and towards her two companions, swearing and muttering the whole way.

"This job is definitely not worth eleven five a year."

As she passed the pile of pink fluffy Sue goo, she stopped suddenly in her tracks. Lennon tapped her earpiece once and cleared her throat nervously.

"Uh, girls," Lennon said, her voice thick with trepidation, "We've got a problem."

Charlotte looked at Dawn anxiously, both of them recognized the air of seriousness in the geek's voice.

"What is it, Lenny?"

Lennon stared down at the floor, where a huge puddle of blood and Sue goo lay. The body of Doctor Carson Beckett was _gone_.

--------------------------

A/N:Uh oh. Looks like someone's written a resurrection fic! Oh no! Shock and dismay! I put a challenge to all you SGA authors out there, write me the resurrection scene. I don't want to put it in _my_ story, but I'd like to see what someone else's idea of the resurrection of Doctor Beckett would be. Kinda like a companion to this story, a missing scene if you will. Consider it a challenge from me to you, 'The Resurrection Of Carson Beckett' XD If anyone takes up the challenge, lemme know, k? I want to read it.

Nebish means little nerd, and pisk means big mouth. They sound the exact same way they're spelled. Use _those_ in a sentence sometime. No, really, it's fun to insult people without them knowing it XD


	12. Hot On The Cotton Tail's Trail

Before you go any further, I must insist that you go read 'The Resurrection Of Carson' by Elizabeth Bartlett. It's the first response to my Carson Beckett resurrection scene challenge and it rocks my socks to Jersey and back. As authors, she and I seem to share a brain.

It scares me...it should outright _terrify_ you.

--------------------------------------

Charlotte became very concerned when Lennon didn't reply to her call right away.

"Lenny, what is it?" Charlotte called again, looking to Dawn with worry in her eyes, "Lennon?"

Dawn put a hand to her own headset, "Lennon, are you there?"

A sick sounding sigh came from the other end of the line, "Yeah...I'm...I'm here. You aren't going to believe this."

Dawn and Charlotte looked at each other, both feeling very uneasy at the waver that was in Lennon's voice. For all her complaining, Lennon was a strong woman, and that sick tone that her voice had taken on was disconcerting.

"What is it Lenny?"

"Remember that guy we came across in the hallway before? The dead one?"

Dawn's eyebrows furrowed, "Yeah, what about him?"

"He's _gone_."

Charlotte scoffed in disbelief, "What do you mean 'Gone'?"

Lennon stared down at the puddle, "What do you mean, what do I mean? He's _gone,_ Charlie, just up and walked away!"

"That's impossible!" Dawn exclaimed, horrified at the thought.

Charlotte shushed the other woman right away, "What do you see Lenny?"

"There's um...there's some Sue goo left over, a big-" Lennon gulped, "Puddle of blood and there's...oh dear God."

"What?" Dawn and Charlotte exclaimed in unison, fearing the worst.

"I see...bunny tracks...leading to where the body was," Lennon kneeled down to examine them more carefully, "The bunny tracks lead to the scene but..."

Lennon took a deep breath to steady herself, "There's _human_ footprints leading away."

Charlotte looked to Dawn in horror, "So then it was-"

"A resurrection bunny," Lennon finished for Charlotte, "Yes."

Charlotte thought for several minutes about what to do. This wasn't the first time they had dealt with a resurrected character, and although they knew the 'procedure', it was her experience that things never went according to _procedure._

"Alright, Lennon, stay there, we're on the way."

------------------------------

After the three comrades reunited, they began following the bloody footprints that led away from the gruesome glompage scene.

Charlotte walked ahead of Dawn, gun drawn and her trusty, stubby cigar hanging out of her mouth, and Lennon walked behind, with her weapon also at the ready. Lennon was limping somewhat, the bruise from her encounter with Sheppard was causing her trouble. She winced with every step, but kept moving anyway.

Dawn, meanwhile, was flipping through some of the personnel files that she and Charlotte had retrieved, looking for someone who fit the description of the formerly dead canon and the canon who had contacted them. She read several of the names off, along with a few choice bits of information like general appearance and personality as she walked, paying absolutely no attention to anything going on around her.

When she read John Sheppard's file contents aloud, Lennon couldn't stop herself from snorting.

"'Does well under pressure'? Not from what _I_ saw, he doesn't."

Dawn and Charlotte both stopped dead in their tracks.

"You've met him?" Dawn asked as she rounded on the geek.

"Yeah," Lennon shrugged, "He was over-whumped. Grabbed hold of my ankle and hung on." Lennon reached down and pulled her torn jeans up around the ankle, displaying the nasty looking bruise which had blossomed a deep purple color where the Shep-wimp had clung to her, "Clingy little thing."

Charlotte gasped, knowing full well the implications of dealing with an over-whumped character, "How did you manage to get away?"

"I hit him on the head," Lennon replied carelessly, motioning to her heavy pack, "Knocked him out cold."

Charlotte smiled, "You've got some finesse Lenny, you know that?"

"Yeah...I'm a regular double oh seven." Lennon replied with a grimace.

"Um...I don't mean to sound stupid," Dawn began timidly,

"A little late for that!" Lennon said derisively, under her breath.

Dawn just ignored her and continued, "What does 'Over-whumped' mean?"

Lennon's face contorted into a mask of righteous disbelief, "Did you not even _look_ at the handbook?"

Dawn turned a little red and stared at her shoes, clearly embarrassed by her lack of knowledge.

Charlotte gave Lennon a glare that would have made lesser men, erm...women, tremble. Lennon however, just returned the glare with equal ferocity, not ending the staring contest until Charlotte looked away.

"An over whumped character," Charlotte stated, matter-of-factly, "is one that gets abused by fan fiction authors to unbelievable measures. They put them through the worst kind of hell, mid-life crises, psychical injury, mental disorders, anything and everything torturous that you can imagine, draining all the joy out of their lives for fun."

Dawn nodded solemnly, carefully considering the definition that her superior officer had just given her. "Oh," She said, her voice genuinely sad, "Well, I think that's terrible."

Lennon lifted an eyebrow and looked at Charlotte, "You hear that? She thinks it's terrible."

"Knock it off, Lenny. I-"

Crackling static broke out over the three heroes' headsets, followed by an uneasy but sardonic voice, "You know, I really do _hate_ to break up this little sewing circle, but I need help here!"

Lennon curled her lip in a most unattractive and decidedly Billy Idol manner while pointing at the headset, "Is this the guy?"

Charlotte raised her eyes heavenward in a 'Why?' gesture and nodded.

The male voice on the com spoke again, "Now if you three hens would be so kind as to stop clucking and come find me-"

Lennon got defensive immediatly, "Oh, we'll come find you alright, just so as I can kick your sorry sexist ass from here to Athos and back again."

"With whom am I speaking?" McKay asked, his voice rising irritably. He didn't like this woman's voice at all, she sounded too sarcastic and snarky for his tastes.

Lennon ignored his query, paying it no heed whatsoever, "I'm sure that you can _wait_ for that kind of a greeting, can't you pal? We'll get there when we get there."

Lennon then tapped her earpiece once more, shutting it off with a metallic chirp so that she wouldn't have to listen to McKay's prattle any longer. She liked his voice even less than he liked hers.

"If that's the canon we've got to deal with, I'm gonna have my work cut out for me," She said as she brought her gun up once more, "C'mon, let's move."

With that, Dawn and Charlotte followed suit, shutting off their headsets for the time being and resuming their former path, following the bloody tracks that stretched out in front of them.

----------------------------------

A/N:Woohoo! Ok, ok, ok, I'm all excitemed (that's my cousin's word rofl a mixture of excited and Um...I dunno) whatcha think of Lennon And McKay's first interaction? Hm? XD I have their face to face meeting all planned out and it's going to be soooo great. Let's just say it's the kind of dialogue that I live to write.

I'm putting another challenge to you all, write Lennon and McKay's first meeting! Be it alternate universe, or whatever, I'd like to see it. Ok? So that makes two challenges running, the Resurrection of Carson Beckett and The Meeting Of Minds: Lennon & McKay


	13. Writer's Block

This is a totally OPTIONAL chapter. Just me goofing off while I had writers block this afternoon. This is pretty much a chronicle of what I do to get rid of writer's block...I wouldn't recommend trying it, you could get hurt. I mean it! You could like, put an eye out. This has nothing to do with Lenny or Charlie or Dawn, it's another glimpse at the writer's life...you don't have to read it, if you want to skip these little RL interludes all together, you can, they don't affect the story at all. I just wanted to cover all the aspects of writing fanfic, and this, sadly, is one of them. XD

**--------------------------**

_**I think that writer's block is simply the dread that you are going to write something horrible-Roy Blount Jr.**_

Those words, printed on a sheet of three by five paper sat atop Techie's computer monitor, mocking her as she sat, struggling to force the words that she knew were within her to flow.

She set her media player to randomize, shut her eyes and leaned back in her second hand office chair, just listening.

_Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow, but if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow._

She mindlessly hit the next button on her keyboard before she opened her bleary dark eyes and stared at the ceiling.

_Fallin' asleep at the wheel again baby, you're driftin' over the line, line, yeah. Your hands are tied but you're losin' grip quickly-_

A photograph of her beloved Lone Gunmen was staring back at her. It was a black and white photocopy from the unofficial guide to the X-Files, nothing special to anyone else, but it held sentimental value for her. The picture was creased and worn from that year she kept it folded in her jacket pocket when she was fifteen.

That had been a _really_ bad year. Techie almost died that year...

Twice.

_Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality._

She gazed at the picture and hit the next button again.

There they were, her heroes; the three men who inspired her to get involved with computers and technology in the first place. Funny how a silly little thing like three geeks from a TV show can inspire someone and mean so much when they're young.

_Good lookin', bad tastin', full bodied, but wasted. Loose livin', tight fittin', what you see ain't whatcha are gettin'._

Beneath the picture itself, there were big, black, bold, sharpie marker drawn letters shouting at her '**Stop staring at the ceiling, and get inspired, damn it!'**

_This old house once knew it's children, this old house once knew it's wife-_

Techie picked up a freshly sharpened neon green pencil and thoughtlessly tossed it at the ceiling before hitting the next button on Windows Media Player again.

_They'll stone you when you're tryin' to be so good. They'll stone you just like they said they would, they'll stone you when you're tryin' to go home, well they'll stone you when you're there all alone. But I would not feel so all alone, everybody must get stoned._

The pencil rebounded off the eggshell colored ceiling and whacked Techie in the forehead.

"OW!"

_Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me, I think they're ok, if they don't give me proper credit, I just walk away. They can beg and they can plead, but they can't see the light, cause the boy with the cold hard cash is always Mister Right._

"Are you throwing pencils at the ceiling again, Techie?" Came the long suffering voice of her room-mate from the kitchen.

_When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be..._

The girl in her thrift store chair rolled her eyes melodramatically at the fact that she was being called Techie in real life. "No..." She replied as innocently as she could and leaned further back in her chair. She hit the next button again.

_All day, starin' at the ceilin', making friends with shadows on my wall._

Techie looked at her computer...that was...weird...she changed songs yet again.

_Hiya Barbie! Hi Ken! You wanna go for a ride? Sure Ken! Jump in!_

Techie mouthed the next words as she tossed another pencil-

_I'm a Barbie Girl, in the Barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic!_

Which hit her in the head just like the last one did.

She rubbed her forehead, picked the stubborn and now broken pencil up off the floor, staring at it intently for a moment before throwing it aside.

She never could make sense of it...

Mulder's pencils always stuck...hers just..._wouldn't_. They just refused to cooperate.

And it's not like she didn't try to get them to stick...because she _did._

_You skipped the light fandango, turns cartwheels cross the floor. I was feeling kinda sea sick, the crowd called out for more. The room was humming harder, as the ceiling flew away-_

Techie looked at the eggy colored ceiling, staring at the hundreds of graphite marks that marred the slightly dimpled surface. God forbid her landlady ever looked up when she entered to inspect the place.

She'd have alot of explaining to do.

"Well you see Ma'am, I toss pencils at the ceiling when I need to get inspired. Or when I'm bored. Or when there's nothing good on TV. Or...you know...whenever."

_Efficiency and progress, is ours once more! Now that we have the neutron bomb! It's nice and quick and clean and gets things done! _

The ceiling looked like a battle field to her. A battle field where she waged war on her muse (and boredom) on a regular basis.

_Last time, that we had this conversation, I decided we should be friends, but now, we're goin' round in circles, tell me will this deja vu never end?_

And those poor unsuspecting pencils who gave their lives for her creativity, or lack thereof...mustn't forget those who've sacrificed so much.

_Blue skies, smiling at me, nothing but blue skies, do I see..._

Her bright yellow Jurassic Park pencil cup was almost empty because of these little wars. She'd have to restock soon. Nothin' fancy, just some yellow number twos. Maybe a couple of shiny ones just for variety.

Although, now that Techie thought about it, they were all the same when they hit you on the head.

They sure _hurt_ the same way.

_Oooo, I'm overdue, gimme some room, comin' through. Paid my dues, in the mood, me and my girls gonna shake the room. Dj spinnin'-_

This was becoming a bad habit...

_Hey little girl, I wanna be your boyfriend. Sweet little girl, I wanna be your boyfriend. Do ya love me back? What do ya say? Do ya love me back? What can I say? Because I wanna be your boyfriend._

God...this _was_ bad...even the Ramones weren't inspiring her.

_Mustang Sally, guess you bettah slow that mustang down._

Ugh...so not in the mood for _that_. Next.

_The representative from California has the floor. Zeig Hiel to the President gas man, bombs away is your punishment. Pulverize the Eiffel towers that criticize your government._

Next.

_You're a real tough cookie with a long history, of breaking' little hearts like the one in me-_

Next.

_Pop... Six... Squish... Uh uh... Cicero... Lipshitz._

Next.

_Somewhere, beyond the sea, somewhere waiting for me, my lover stands on golden sands and watches the ships, that go sailing._

Techie smiled...that song always reminded her of Scully's father...

Which reminded her of General Hammond.

Which reminded her of Stargate.

Which reminded her of Stargate Atlantis.

Which reminded her that she was supposed to be writing, not listening to music.

_You and I in a little toy shop, buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got. Set them free at the break of dawn, till one by one they are gone._

But damn it, it was all so catchy!

She tossed another pencil, the last one left in the cup. This one bounced off the ceiling and then off her coke bottle frames and landed across the room with a hollow sounding 'Thunk'.

It was really too much trouble to go across the room to retrieve it so she could toss it again, so she just decided to sit there and veg out to music for a while. Music _always_ got her inspired eventually.

_Howdya do I...see you've met my...faithful handymaaaaan. He's just...a little brought down because...when you knocked, he thought you were the candy man._

Techie stared at her fingernails, only five of which were painted, all those on her left hand.

Everyone she knew thought she was trying to start some kind of trend. She wasn't. Instead, Techie had the theory that there was some kind of cosmic timer designed to go off whenever she was right in the middle of a manicure.

It didn't matter the circumstances. Whenever she finished painting the nails on her left hand, someone would show up, or something would happen that interrupted her before she got to finish the job.

She eventually just gave up on doing the other hand. It was kind of a trademark now.

_Goodbye Norma Jeane, though I never knew you at all, you had the grace to hold yourself while those around you crawled._

Gah! Damn you Elton John, now she was tearing up! Techie reached for a Kleenex, and cried a little as she sang along.

_They crawled out of the woodwork, and they whispered into your brain, they set you on a treadmill, and they made you change your name._

She was a sucker for that song.

_And it seems to me, you lived your life, like a candle in the wind. Never knowin' who to cling to, when the rain set in._

Not that anyone would ever live to tell about it, of course.

_And I would've liked to have known you, but I was just a kid. Your candle burned out long before, your legend ever did._

It wouldn't do if anyone knew that Techie the punk was going soft.

"Wah!"

**---Five minutes, and half a box of Kleenex later---**

_Off the Florida Keyes, there's place called Kokomo-_

"I thought Kokomo was in Indiana, or Ohio or something..." Techie muttered, still flipping aimlessly through her music catalog, looking for something that would inspire her.

_Hey folks, here's a story 'bout Minnie The Moocher. She was a low down hoochie coocher._

Sorry Cab, not today. Next.

_If you need a little lovin' call on me. Aw yeah. If you want some kissing, call me baby. I'll be right here at home, all you've got to do is pick up your telephone and dial now-_

No. Sooo not in a Wilson Pickett mood.

_Good morning Starshine! The Earth says hello!_

No.

_Ride, ride my see saw, take this place on this trip, just for me._

Definitely not!

_Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me! We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, we thief, drink up me hearties yo ho!_

Ha. Pirates Of The Caribbean. Hmm...Johnny Depp...no, no, she was supposed to be writing...no time for Pirate daydreams...She always liked Dustin Hoffman as Hook better anyway...Next.

_Chewbacca! What a Wookie! Chewie! Chewbacca!_

Now _there_ was a train of thought she could follow away quite happily...Star Wars...Han Solo...yes, yes...

_Pretty women out walkin' with gorillas down my street. From my window, I'm starin' while my coffee grows cold._

Now there's an idea...coffee...yes. Some nice strong black coffee.

With some cream and sugar thrown in just for the fun of it.

_In restless dreams I walked along, narrow streets of cobblestone, 'neath the halo of a street lamp, I turned my collar to the cold and damp._

Ah...Paul Simon...wasn't he coming to summer fest this year? Hm...maybe she could get tickets. She always had wanted to see him in concert. If she could get tickets to see Paul Simon, she was gonna go. Her goth friends would probably all suffer massive heart attacks if they heard that Techie, the geek in the Dead Kennedys tee-shirt, wanted to go see _Paul Simon_.

Screw her goth friends...they'd get over it. If not, she'd send a 'Get Well Soon' card to the funeral home that was taking care of the 'arrangements'. She hit the next button again.

_Hey little sister, what have you done? _

She lifted an eyebrow at the Media Player.

_Hey little sister, who's the only one? _

Techie decided it was time for drastic measures.

Air guitar.

_Hey little sister, who's your superman? Hey little sister who's the one I want? Hey little sister SHOTGUN!_

That reminded her...she still had to write that wedding scene for that one fic...dammit...dammit...dammit...damn you Billy Idol...and your reminding her of those pesky things called responsibilities, and to-do lists and, and, and-

Damn him for reminding her of her James Marsters 'thing' too...dang it. Techie thought she was so over **that.** If only he hadn't been on Smallville last week!

She kinda missed the bleached blonde hair though...

Gah. She had to stop this mind wandering thing. She had to write. No more Billy Idol. Too distracting.

Next.

_Hold your breath, make a wish, count to three. Come with me, and you'll be, in a world of pure imagination. Take a look, and you'll see into your imagination._

Techie glared at her computer screen as the randomized media player display swirled.

_If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it. Want to change the world? There's nothing to it._

"I'm starting to think you're mocking me."

_There is no life I know, to compare with pure imagination. Living there, you'll be free, if you truly wish to be._

Yes, she _loved_ that song...and that movie...and Gene Wilder in general, but still, right now, it just wasn't doing anything for her. Other than reminding her that her imagination had dried up. She hit the next button again in disgust.

_Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?_

"Aaah!" Techie fell off her chair and tore off her headphones, "How the hell did THAT get on my computer? Avril? GACK!"

Techie quickly grabbed her mouse and began erasing all traces of the rouge Canuck who had found her way into her sacred music collection, cursing her friend's taste in music and muttering words like 'Poser' and 'Wannabe'.

After Techie had purged her computer's system of the interloper, a light bulb clicked on over her head.

"That's it!"

A grin of Cheshire cat proportions spread across her face as she pumped up the volume on something much, _much_ better,

_We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight, and we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois law enforcement community, who have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel ballroom at this time. We do sincerely hope you all enjoy the show, and please remember people, that no matter who you are, and what you do to live thrive and survive, there are still some things that make us **all** the same. You, me, them, everybody. EVERYBODY!_

Techie spun in her chair with delight and began typing at a frenzied pace, singing along with Jake and Elwood all the while.

Amazing that something you hate so much can be so inspiring.

----------------------------

A/N:Yeah...bet you're sorry you actually bothered to read that, aintcha? XD I don't think I'll do anymore 'Interludes' after this one. Mad props to anyone who can identify more than ten of the thirty songs I quoted..and yes, that one song DOES make me cry...

Shut up...you all cry during it too...ADMIT IT! -shakes fist-


	14. Ace Bandages Never Looked So Good

Five minutes passed.

Ten.

Twenty.

All the while, the three companions were following the bloody footprints of the canon who had been resurrected.

Charlotte was still in front, with Dawn in the middle and Lennon bringing up the rear, complaining the whole way.

Dawn was studiously flipping through file after file as the other two women kept alert, watching for any sign of anything that could prove to be dangerous.

Charlotte puffed at her cigar, giving it a gnaw every few minutes in order to readjust it between her lips.

Lennon was still limping, and it was only getting worse.

Not that anyone _else_ noticed of course.

"This is ridiculous, how far could he have gotten?" Lennon groused as she took another step, the cartilage in her ankle making a very nasty squishy noise as she did. That couldn't have been a good sign.

"Relax Lenny," Charlotte soothed, "It shouldn't be much further."

The tracks just seemed to go on and on, and they looked to the exhausted three like they would _never_ stop.

Charlotte stopped walking suddenly, staring down at the ground. Dawn hadn't looked up from her files long enough to see that Charlotte had stopped and rammed into her, and of course, Lennon had been looking behind herself so she bumped into the other two as well. The three of them tumbled foreword, hitting the floor, and somehow, Lennon ending up on the receiving end of the dog pile.

The three stayed there on the ground for a minute or so, a tangled mass of arms and legs trying to make sense of what had just happened.

"You alright, Dawn?" Charlotte asked, concern coloring her tone.

"Uh..uh huh," Dawn replied, "Are you, Charlie?"

"Yeah..Yeah, I'm-"

"Well, that's all well and good," Lennon snarked from underneath the others, "and I really _do_ hate to interrupt, but if you two are _quite_ done, you're crushing me! Get off!"

There was a scramble as the three tried to get unwound from each other. Charlotte and Dawn crawled up from the floor immediatly and moved to help Lennon up.

Lennon however, was much more interested in her surroundings. Her heart had skipped a beat when she realized where the tracks had led them.

"An infirmary!" She squealed joyously, "Thank you, God!"

She scrambled up off the floor without assistance and craned her neck to get a better view of everything.

Charlotte directed Dawn to check the rest of the room, and when it was concluded that it was quite uninhabited, they all breathed a collective sigh of relief.

"Excellent," Charlotte said, once more turning into the authority figure, "We can probably scrounge something useful. Supplies,-"

"Screw supplies!" Lennon exclaimed as she half limped, half hopped over to a glass cabinet, "I'll be happy with an Ace bandage!"

Dawn looked around, taking in everything in view, "This looks like a good place to take a break, what'dya say Charlie? I can find the right canon files alot easier if I'm sitting still, and Lennon can tend to her injuries."

"Yeah," Charlotte replied, dropping her pack on a cot, "Sounds like a good idea. Nice thinking, Dawn."

Lennon ignored them as she flicked her gaze over several small vials of various colored liquids, reading each of their labels with lightning speed before spotting what she was after.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! The Gods of this fandom are finally casting their pity upon me!" Lennon held up a small cardboard box, waving it through the air triumphantly, "Ace bandages!"

Charlotte's upper lip twitched in amusement, "It's the simple things in life."

"Shut up, Charlie," Lennon snapped, "Or else I won't let you help me wrap my ankle."

Charlotte's eyebrows lifted into her hairline in mock shock, "Oh! Whatever shall I do? My life will lose all it's meaning!"

Lennon couldn't suppress the smirk that tugged at her lips. It was times like this, when they were relatively safe and could snark at each other without fear of being attacked that made this job worth while.

Charlotte considered Lennon to be the sister she had never wanted, but had oddly longed for. Lennon, although she'd never admit it to anyone, least of all herself, felt the same.

Lennon hopped up onto one of the infirmary beds and slid her pants leg up so that her injured ankle could be tended to. Charlotte helped her to unfurl the bandaging and wrap it around the limb properly.

Dawn, meanwhile, had stationed herself on another hospital bed, sitting cross legged with the canon files spread out around her, searching diligently for the profiles on the formerly dead and the currently unaffected canons which were their prime concern at the moment.

Lennon's ankle was completely bandaged within minutes and she had hopped off the table, her limp reduced quite a bit, intent on searching around the infirmary for anything that could be useful.

Charlotte, of course, was way ahead of her. Regardless of what Head Quarters gave you to work with before you left home, it was always good to have extra everything, _just in case_. Plus, some things from other universes had proven infinitely useful when they needed to improvise.

Lennon and Charlotte had just started snapping up bottles of rubbing alcohol (after all, one never knew when one might need a Molotov cocktail) and packing them away when Dawn made a triumphant noise.

"I think I found our resurrected Doctor," Dawn said, waving a blood soaked file through the air.

Lennon lifted an eyebrow, "A Doctor?"

Dawn looked down at the file, "Yeah, uh..Doctor Beckett. I found McKay's as well."

Lennon managed to get from where she had been standing to where Dawn was seated and snatched the two files and looked at them within seconds.

Her eyes rolled in the most over exaggerated way that Dawn had ever seen.

And considering that she worked with Lennon, she had seen plenty of exaggerated eye rolls before.

"Ugh," Lennon said as she flipped aside the cover of the file folder, looking at the contents to be found within "I'm having Quantum Leap flashbacks..."

Dawn looked puzzled before Lennon continued, "Doctor Beckett? You have _got_ to be kidding me." Lennon flipped the file aside and looked at the other, "And next you're going to tell me this is a typo and this says 'McCoy' and not 'McKay'."

She tossed the files back at Dawn in disgust, "Don't these writers _ever_ come up with anything original? I mean honestly..."

Charlotte wandered over and gave the files a once over, "One's a physicist and the other's a medical doctor. It doesn't seem like these two are much of a threat."

She handed the files back to Dawn.

"This one _is_ kinda cute," Dawn muttered as she wiped some bunny blood off the picture of Carson Beckett that was included in his file.

"Channeling the Mary-Sues, are we Dawn?" Lennon teased mercilessly.

"No!" Dawn shouted heatedly, defending her status as a well rounded Original Character, "I am _nothing_ like a Sue!"

For an OC to be compared to a Mary-Sue was one of the greatest, most searing insults possible. Lennon knew this, of course, but she just enjoyed pushing the younger woman's buttons.

Dawn let out a huff and repeated, "I am _not_ a Sue!"

Lennon fought to keep her smirk under control, failing beautifully, "Well, either way, you have dreadful taste."

Charlotte turned critical eyes on the geek, "Dreadful taste? This from the girl who managed to fall for _Langly_?"

A blush crept up Lennon's pale face, making it look like she had some sort of terrible rash, "I didn't _fall_ for him! And you're one to talk! You had a thing for Byers!"

Charlotte rolled her eyes but smiled, "At least it wasn't Frohike! That was Madison's-"

Charlotte stopped speaking immediatly regretting what she had just let slip.

Madison. Just three syllables. Never did three syllables mean so much.

Lennon's face had fallen at the mere mention of Madison's name. All the light heartedness of the past few minutes drained away like water from a sieve.

Dawn had been watching their exchange with amusement, but now, she had no idea what had caused the dynamic between the two elder women to change.

Charlotte shifted her jaw and tried to meet Lennon's eyes, without success. Lennon had decided that staring at the ceiling, blinking rapidly to keep tears at bay, while trying to keep her voice from cracking was a better use of her time.

"I'm..I'm going to go check out the surrounding area." Lennon picked up her pack and withdrew her guns, "I'll...I'll be back in a few."

Charlotte did something that would have made any other bunny buster commanding officer cringe. She nodded, and gave her permission.

Definitely against the rules, but it had to be done, "Hurry back, Lenny."

Dawn might not have known all the specifics, but she spoke anyway. "Be careful," She said, feeling more concern for Lennon now than she ever had before.

Lennon nodded, "Aren't I always?"

"No."

Lennon forced a laugh, "I'll be careful. Don't worry."

-------------------------

A/N:Wuh oh...the angst bunnies have hold of me! OH NOES! I had to though. I had no choice! If I don't get the history of the 'other' buster out of the way, I'll go insane.

Alright, so maybe that isn't much of a stretch, but still!

It'll be all funny again next chapter, right after a short little chat about Madison, k? Yes? Forgive me for the angsting please? -puppy eyes- If I didn't get the angsting out of the way, the bunnies would have eaten me alive! You wouldn't want that would you?

BTW! There's been another response to the "The Resurrection Of Carson Beckett" challenge! This one is by Myriadragon and you should all go read it. She's another person who thinks like me.

Again, you should be afraid. I mean really afraid. Like, Zombie Movie afraid. It made me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe.

The other challenge, "The Meeting Of Minds:Lennon And McKay" has yet to have any takers. -pout- I'd just like to see something...it doesn't have to be in line with this story, they could like, meet on a train or something in an alternate universe...-shrug- whatever. I'm just glad that people are taking such an interest in this silly story!


	15. Nostalgia And Casanovas

"So, Madison is the girl I replaced?"

Charlotte snapped her head back to stare at Dawn with an intensity in her eyes that hadn't been there moments before, "No. Not replaced. Don't _ever_ say replaced, especially not around Lenny. You're an addition to the team, **not **a replacement."

There was awkward silence for a few moments, Dawn shifting nervously from foot to foot, unsure of what to say; while Charlotte just stared towards the doorway to the infirmary, awaiting Lennon's return.

It took several minutes before the blonde found her voice again, "What…um...that is to say, what...happened to her? Madison, I mean. Did she retire?"

Charlotte looked at her watch and then back at the door. Lennon should be coming along any minute, and Madison really wasn't a safe topic to talk about when she was within earshot, as evidenced by her reaction to the mere mention of her name. Still, it had to be addressed sometime, it was only natural that their new teammate would become curious about the one she had-

Not replaced...eventually.

With one last look towards the door, Charlotte turned to look at the youngest, greenest member of her team. "Madison was killed in the line of duty," she said solemnly, "About two years ago, actually."

Dawn looked like she just accidentally swallowed a bug. "Oh," was all she could muster, "I...uh...I had no idea."

There was another few minutes of awkward silence as Dawn stared at her shoes and struggled with whether or not she should ask the question that was niggling at her brain.

Charlotte was waiting for it. She had answered it before, and she would, most likely after Dawn left their team and was replaced, have to answer it again.

Dawn licked her bottom lip nervously, "Um...how did she die?"

Charlotte took the cigar out of her mouth, dropped it on the floor and stomped it out.

"Are you familiar with the Highlander universe?"

Dawn's bulbous blue eyes grew even wider, making her look like some sort of bug. Her hand flew to her own throat unconsciously, "You mean she..."

Charlotte let the end of Dawn's sentence hang in the air before she withdrew another cigar from her vest and popped it in between her lips.

Dawn's answer came in the from of one word, nonchalantly thrown out from around a lit cigar. "Yup."

Charlotte took a deep breath, readying herself for what was coming next.

For what _always_ came next.

"What…what was she like?"

Charlotte had to smile at the predictability of young recruits who joined established teams. She puffed at her cigar thoughtfully and turned to the younger woman.

"Madison was," She tried to find the right words to describe her deceased friend, "She was just...Madison. She was smart...kind...funny...only a pain in the ass every once in a while. She was a good kid. Your age actually. We all got on together rather well."

Charlotte's brief description of her fallen comrade gave way to more pleasant memories of other missions that they had been on together. The time that Madison had 'accidentally' ended up in Quinn Mallory's arms along with several other choice incidents that were indicative of Madison's...unique personality.

Within minutes, Charlotte was feeling much, _much_ better about talking about her old teammate, and now all her sadness had been replaced by pleasant nostalgia.

She knew that Lennon would recover just as quickly, her moods changed so often and so quickly that it was only a matter of time before she was back to her old, snarking self. On some level, Charlotte suspected that Lennon blamed herself in part for Madison's death. She was wrong of course, but that didn't matter. Lennon had just needed time to think it out, and let it go again.

Another minute passed, and Charlotte glanced down at her watch. Lennon had been gone for something like twenty minutes, and should have been back by now.

Well, speak of the devil.

Lennon re-entered the infirmary, all the sadness gone from her expression, replaced by anger. She had a gash across her forehead, and looked like she was ready to kill anything that crossed her path.

"Lenny what happened?"

"Nothing!" The geek snapped, another rash like blush covering her features, "Nothing at all!"

She had stalked purposefully over to the cabinet she had first inspected, and snapped up one of the few bottles of rubbing alcohol that Charlotte hadn't yet packed away, and a wad of cotton balls.

Lennon dumped a huge amount of the stinky clear liquid on the cotton and pressed it to her forehead, letting out a small yelp and grunt at the fell of the stuff hitting the open wound.

Dawn looked at Charlotte, who looked just as puzzled as the blonde felt. Dawn approached Lennon and placed a hand on her shoulder, causing the geek to turn around abruptly and glare at her ferociously,

"Lennon, are you ok?"

"I'm fine!" She shouted, as she continued mopping up the blood from her injury, "Fine! Just dandy!"

Charlotte's jaw dropped when Lennon had spun around to face the blonde, that movement making an area of her throat visible that hadn't been before. She couldn't help but chuckle slightly, which only made the geek look angrier.

"My God, Lennon, is that a hickey?"

Lennon touched her throat probingly, "Gah! Damn it! He left a mark! Damn! Damn! Damn!"

Charlotte walked to the other woman, peering closely at her discolored throat, "It certainly looks that way. What happened?"

"I got glomped! It was a Casanova Canon!"

----------------------------------

A/N:I told you it'd be funny after the Madison related angsting was over. I'll cover exactly what happened to Lenny next chapter...poor thing...

I really do enjoy torturing her too much. Ahem.

I had considered playing with the Casanova stereotype (you know when a canon character goes completely OUT of character and gets all mushy and romantic) but I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it or not. When Myriadragon brought it up, I got up enough confidence to do it. Thank you dahling -wink-

Whirlwind2005 wrote a response to the Carson challenge, but has yet to post it -puppy eyes- when she does, you should go read it, it was really creative! Still waiting for takers on the Meeting Of Minds challenge though, I've set a few plot bunnies on a few of my lovely friends (you know who you are) and it shouldn't take much longer…I really want to see that XD


	16. A Glomping In Progress

Ok, NenyaVilyaNenya wrote up her version of the 'Meeting Of Minds: Lennon And McKay' challenge, and I loved it so much that I'm currently trying to talk her into continuing it, rofl. Whenever she uploads it, you lot HAVE to go read it. It was just fabulous.

Shameless plug? What shameless plug? Whatever do you mean?

----------------------

"A Casanova Canon?" Dawn squealed in shock, "Who? Where? What happened?"

"One question at a time, Dawn!" Charlotte snapped as she approached Lennon. She reached for the bloodied wad of cotton and wiped the blood away that Lennon hadn't gotten.

"What happened, Lenny? Tell us everything."

----------------------

Several minutes earlier...

Lennon left the other two in the infirmary to talk. She knew that after what had just transpired, it was time for 'The Talk' but she couldn't bear to be there for it. Charlotte was stronger that way.

Stronger when it came to talking about...

Madge.

Madison was a communications expert, and had been a member of Lennon and Charlotte's team for almost five years. She had fallen in the line of duty some two years before, in the Highlander universe.

Lennon rubbed at her throat. Decapitation. What a way to go.

She spent several minutes ruminating on her deceased friend, going through the entire ordeal in her head, blaming herself for a few seconds before she came to her senses and realized that no-one would have been able to prevent what had happened.

Lennon let out a yelp as she was tackled from behind and hit her head on the floor. If she had had time to think about it, she would have been amazed at the fact that she hadn't suffered a concussion from the blow.

"What the f-" She was cut off in mid sentence as her pack was torn off and she was flipped over on her back, a pair of slimy lips coming in contact with her own.

Her dark eyes grew wide as her brain caught up with what was happening to her. She was being glomped! She squealed when he disengaged his lips from hers and then latched onto the delicate pale flesh of her throat.

Lennon had had a squid wrapped around her throat once before, a year ago when she had been in the SeaQuest universe, and that was nowhere near as disgusting as this was.

"Get off of me!" She shoved her glomper off and let out a small scream as she backed away, scooting across the floor. She scanned the floor for her gun, which had been knocked out of her hand at the moment of impact with the floor.

Across from her, kneeling on his hands and knees in a black tuxedo, with his hair slicked back with...something greasy, was a canon.

Lennon recognized him from a photo in one of the files that Dawn had been toting around for a while.

Kavanaugh.

Lennon spat a few times, trying to purge the overly pepperminty taste of his tongue out of her mouth.

Ew. Ew. Ew. He'd had his tongue in her mouth. Ew. Ew. Ew.

The Casanova Canon lunged at her again, determination in his gaze.

She had to think, and think _fast_.

"Why-why don't we talk about this, huh?" Lennon stalled as she got to her feet as quickly as possible, almost tripping on one of her untied shoelaces.

"What's there to talk about?" He asked, lifting one eyebrow in what might have been considered an attempt at James Bondish charm.

The gesture just made Lennon feel ill.

"Uh, we could-"

Her pistol was about six feet behind him...if she could distract him long enough to get to it...

"We could talk-"

Kavanaugh lunged at her again, and she ducked out of the way.

"We could talk about...uh...um...our favorite movies? Or-"

He reached for her again but once more she scrambled out of his grasp, "Or-or-or what music we like to listen to, literature, poetry-Eek!"

He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close, that overpowering scent of peppermint leaking out from between his teeth. Lennon squirmed in his arms, really, the man was like some kind of squid, his hands seemed to be everywhere at once.

She shuddered and struggled, feeling like a fly in a spider's trap. There was blood running into her eyes from where she had hit her head on the floor.

What there could have been on the floor sharp enough for her to cut herself on, she didn't know, but

"I _love_ romantic movies," He whispered into the shell of her ear, trying to sound seductive, "Anything with Julia Roberts or Richard Gere in it, and as for music, literature and poetry, almost anything that _you'd_ like, I'm sure I would adore."

"Sorry pal, you're not my type!" She put her hands on his chest and shoved him away with all her strength, causing him to stagger back.

"Of course I am!" Kavanaugh insisted, as he dropped to one knee and withdrew a rose from his pocket, which was unbelievably perfect looking, and offered it to her, "I'm _every_ woman's type."

"Not mine!" Lennon squeaked as she backed away, right into a wall, "I go for...you know, smart, snarky and _sane_!"

Kavanaugh tossed the rose aside and climbed back to his feet, a feral gleam in his eyes, "I'll convince you. I'm sensitive, and I just _love_ to cuddle. Just gimme a chance!"

He lunged at her, lips puckered.

Lennon squealed and ducked out of the way just in time, causing Kavanaugh to ram nose first into the wall that she had been backed up against.

He recovered quickly, rounding on her. There was a slimy spot behind him where his lips had come in contact with the wall.

Lennon couldn't suppress a horrified exclamation, "Is that...is that lip gloss?"

"Keeps my lips kissably smooth."

Lennon shuddered violently and slowly backed up away from Kavanaugh.

She only had a couple more feet to go before her gun should be within reach.

She gave a quick glance around herself. Yes! There is was, right there and-

Kavanaugh launched himself at her and she hit the floor once more, this time on her back.

"Listen buddy," Lennon threatened, "I don't want to have to hurt you!"

Kavanaugh just plunged his head foreword for another kiss.

Kavanaugh's face, I'd like you to meet Lennon's fist.

WHAM!

She squirmed out from under him and started scooting back again. He was rubbing his jaw and watching her intently, seriously considering lunging for her again.

Lennon's back collided directly with her pack. She stood, breathing heavily and licked her bottom lip.

The Casanova Canon did the same, before he started running towards her, intent on glomping her again.

Her eyes gleamed as she reached down behind her, picked up the pack and gave it a mighty swing, growling in a satisfied way when it hit Kavanaugh in the face and sent him sprawling.

He slid on his back about five feet until his skull connected with the wall that he had had Lennon backed up against moments before, making a sickening cracking noise as it hit home.

He was unconscious. Lennon sent a silent thank you heavenward and reached into her pack.

She searched around for several minutes before she found what she wanted. A syringe and a small bottle of purple colored tranquilizer.

She filled the syringe, not really caring at this point if it was enough to keep an elephant down for several hours, dropped to her knees beside him and injected him.

He wouldn't be going anywhere any time soon. If he survived the tranq overdose at all, that is.

She pulled the collar of her shirt up and wiped her brow, surprised at the sheer volume of blood that was coming from the gash in her forehead.

Still huffing and puffing a little, she got to her feet and grouchily made her way to the infirmary.

---------------------

"And that's what happened," Lennon said, still fuming about the ridiculousness of it all.

Charlotte reached over to the cabinet and picked up a bit of gauze, intent on dressing Lennon's wound.

She slapped Charlotte's hand away, "Stop it. No more dawdling. I want to get out of here as soon as possible."

"Lenny..."

"Don't argue with me, Charlie!" Lennon picked her pack up, which she had dropped on a hospital bed and re-equipped herself. She pointed down at the ground, "Look, the bloody footprints branch off. Beckett and the bunny parted company here. I'm going to follow the Doctor. You follow the bunny and look for the unaffected canon."

With that, she tightened the straps on her pack and waited for Charlotte to agree.

"Lenny," Charlotte said with concern, "Are you sure you can handle a resurrected canon on your own?"

"You doubt my skills, Charlie?" Lennon asked incredulously, "I just faced off against a Casanova on my own! Now I'm gonna follow Beckett, we'll get through this place faster if you two go look for the bunnies and the unaffected canon while I do that."

Charlotte knew there was no talking Lennon out of something like this. The geek was clearly in the mood to go bust some heads, and she wasn't about to step in her way. "Alright, Lenny, we'll do it your way. BUT I want you to maintain radio contact at all times."

Lennon made a face.

"Regardless of how annoying McKay is."

"Fine," the geek replied sourly.

Dawn dropped her own heavy pack to the ground, and retrieved several of the maps she'd liberated from Weir's office, "Here, I made copies."

Lennon snatched one of the maps out of Dawn's hands, without muttering so much as a thank you.

"Radios on," Charlotte said gruffly as she tapped her headpiece and it reactivated with a chirp.

Lennon and Dawn did the same before the three headed for opposite ends of the room, Lennon following Beckett's tracks and Dawn and Charlotte following the bunny's.

"Good luck, Lennon," Dawn said as she watched the geek round a doorway out of the infirmary.

Lennon poked her head back in and stared at the blonde, "Luck has nothing to do with it."

---------------------------

A/N:Whew. That was tough to write. Any good? I mean, was it funny? Next chapter, I'll tackle..Oh I dunno...the Superhero cliché? Maybe a nest of shipper bunnies? Perhaps a long lost canon's sibling? WHO KNOWS! I'm unpredictable!

The responses to my challenges that I've received (I'm hoping for more!) are as follows-

The Resurrection Of Carson Beckett

Elizabeth Bartlett, Whirlwind2005, Myriadragon

The Meeting Of Minds: Lennon And McKay

NenyaVilyaNenya

You should all go read them, really.


	17. Blame It On Evil Dead Two

Dawn and Charlotte parted company a little ways from the infirmary, with a whispered word for good luck to each other. Dawn following the bunny's tracks and Charlotte readying herself for a sweep for the unaffected canon.

Charlotte was kicking herself for allowing Lennon free reign to run off where ever the hell she pleased. Really, she _was_ her superior, her commander in chief, fearless leader and all like that. She should have put her foot down and insisted that they stay together.

But then, on the other hand, Lennon was right. They could search the place much faster and more efficiently if they were split up, that logic she couldn't argue with.

Charlotte licked her bottom lip as she crept along one of the corridors, her gun clutched in her hand and brought up to eye level. She'd always done excellently well on anything first person shooter, both while in the academy and while out of it, so anything that got in her way didn't really stand much of a chance.

"Hey, Lenny," Charlotte said, the words coming out slightly more gruff than she had intended, "What's your status?"

"Status?" Lennon's voice crackled over the airwaves, "Hm, well, let's see, shall we? I'm bruised, bleeding, battered, exhausted and covered in shmutz."

Charlotte rolled her eyes and rounded a corner suddenly, prepared to shoot anything that moved.

Dawn's voice broke in, "So in other words, you're doing as well as usual."

"Yay consistency," Lennon replied sardonically, causing Charlotte to smile slightly.

"How about you, Dawn?"

"I'm good," The blonde said, "These tracks just seem to go on and on and on. How're you holding up, Charlie?"

Charlotte rounded another corner, and shuddered when a feeling of deathly coldness hit her.

It was like walking into a freezer all of the sudden. Charlotte's breathing quickened slightly, every puff of air that came from her mouth turning to a crystal vapor in front of her from the icy chill that surrounded her.

"Charlie?"

All the ambient noises that had been audible before, the hum of the city, if you will, was suddenly wiped out of existence.

It was quiet.

_Too_ quiet.

Horror movie quiet.

A zombie movie might break out at any second.

The place itself seemed more sinister than it had before, almost as though this particular part of the city had been abandoned for centuries.

Charlotte trembled involuntarily, the ice cold air causing her lungs to ache.

"I'm fine," Charlotte breathed, her voice echoing heavily off the eerie stillness, "Looks like someone watched a horror movie before diving into this fandom."

"Horror?" Lennon asked, her voice wavering only slightly, "Oh, great. Well, it's been nice knowing you."

"It's alright Lenny," Charlotte assured her, trying to keep the snark out of her tone, knowing that regardless of what she said, Lennon was concerned, "I do know how to handle myself. I took the horror fandom training, same as you."

Lennon's snort transferred over the airwaves noisily, "Excuse me, I spent two years in the field in the horror fandom, dear. Training to go up against a horror bunny is great and all, but it's _nothing_ like the real thing. Keep your eyes peeled, and listen for ominous changes in theme music."

Yes, now that Lennon mentioned it, Charlotte noticed that there _was_ background music playing. Low, heavy organ music, accompanied by the occasional squealing violin.

"What would you consider to be an ominous change?" Charlotte asked as she rounded yet another corner, gun still drawn, "It's starting to get a bit loud."

"Oh, that's nothing to concern yourself with," Lennon replied steadily, "It's not the crescendos you have to worry about, it's when things get really quiet all of the sudden."

Charlotte shook her head, the violins growing louder, squealing like cats in their death throes; The notes sharp, the melody haunting. The noise grew to eardrum bursting proportions, sending chills up Charlotte's spine before it...

Suddenly...cut...off.

"Lenny," Charlotte spoke uncertainly, "The music's...stopped."

Lennon shouted urgently over her headset, "Behind you!"

Charlotte turned abruptly, still poised and ready to shoot, the urge to fire blindly almost taking over.

About ten feet in front of her, a puke green, seven foot tall plot bunny stood on it's hind legs, it's face twisted into a horrifying grin, green acid dripping from between it's jaws. If there was such a thing as a Cheshire bunny, it would have been this thing. It's bright eyes were red, _blood_ red, and it's numerous teeth were yellowed, rotting and crooked. It's fur was mysteriously missing in several places, and it had several scabs covering all the naked flesh that was visible.

It was the most disgusting thing she'd ever laid eyes on.

And she'd seen some really messed up sh-

The beast lunged and Charlotte's training took over. Her fight or flight instinct taking control.

She emptied the entire clip while the bunny was in mid air.

Everything seemed to slow down as each bullet left her gun, making a sickeningly loud noise as it tore into the animal's flesh. It screamed with each bullet that hit it's target before-

_**THUD.**_

Charlotte instinctively backed away as the now dead creature hit the ground just a few inches shy of her boot. Charlotte was shaking, but she dropped her empty clip, and set a new one into place. Her breathing was heavy and labored, adrenaline pulsing through her veins and her heart doing gymnastics inside her chest.

She slowly approached the creature, nudging it with her boot as she kept her gun trained on it.

"Shoot it again, Charlie!"

"What? Why? It's dead!"

"No it isn't! They're never dead the first time around! You have to shoot it in the head! Between the eyes until it bleeds out!"

Lennon was right, the animal had reached for Charlotte suddenly, grabbing hold of her ankle and dragging her down onto the floor.

Charlotte fired seven shots as the animal dragged her closer to it's gaping jaws, each of them hitting it's cranium with a 'Shunk' noise.

Her final bullet hit it just the right way, causing it to scream once more before it bled it's acidic blood all over the ground.

Charlotte backed away from the mess, narrowly missing being coated in the green sizzling stuff.

She sat there, scooted up against the wall, breathing more heavily than she ever had in her entire life, everything going on around her drowned out by the thudding of her heart within her ribcage.

"Charlie? Charlie!" Dawn shouted, slightly panicked, "Charlotte what's your status?"

"I'm fine," she replied weakly. Charlotte coughed twice as the bunny's remains began to sizzle and bubble, releasing a green gas cloud.

Within seconds, there was nothing left of the horror bunny that had been there before. In fact, all trace of the horror genre was wiped out. The ambient noise returned, the coldness in the air disappeared as though it had never been there.

She recovered quickly and got to her feet. "How did you know," she whispered quietly, "How did you know it was behind me, Lennon? How did you know it wasn't _dead_?"

All the panic that had been evident in Lennon's voice had completely disappeared.

"I used to go up against those on a daily basis," She replied.

Charlotte shut her eyes, and brought her knees up to her chest, leaning against the wall behind her as she tried to catch her breath.

"I'm starting to agree with you, Lenny, this job definitely isn't worth eleven five a year."

-------------------

A/N:I had to. I HAD TO! I've seen so many stories in so many fandoms where someone sat through Resident Evil and suddenly decided that the fandom needed zombies by the millions.

You're probably wondering why I keep splitting them up, yes? Well, frankly, if I _don't_, Lenny just steals all the scenes. That spotlight hog. I really have to talk to her about that behavior. I mean, she's the only one who's had any adventures so far! In fact, I originally wrote this one with Lenny in mind, but I changed it to Charlotte at the last minute. I needed the other two to have a little adventure, so this is Charlie's and Dawn's will be coming up after this. Then we can get back to Lenny's spotlight hogging XD

I mean, do you guys mind that she seems to get all the attention? I'm curious.

Ok, it's been like, an uber good day for me. I got to see my best friend (we haven't touched bases in AGES!), went to a movie (Superman Returns, go see it, Go See It, GO SEE IT! LIKE, NOW!), played like mad at the arcade (my zombie head bashing skillz were soooo L33T), shopped (what cute shoes!), flirted with a guy in a Superman suit (omg, SO not kidding! I was like, geeking out and he soooo didn't mind ;D He was at the theatre and was flipping ADORABLE!) got a snapshot with Jay and Silent Bob (ok, so it -was- a cardboard standee by the concession stand, it still looks effin' awesome!) ate more junk food than is healthy for any quote unquote 'normal' human being and NenyaVilyaNenya updated her Lennon and McKay story.

I'm flyin' high.

Help me fly a little higher by reviewing and/or answering one of my challenges? ;D I'll give you a years supply of Canon Character shaped chocolates if you take up one of the challenges. You have to love the idea of chowing down on McKay.

That...that didn't sound right -.-;


	18. Shipper Bunnies, Sushi And Screaming

I'm sorry. I know I promised Dawn a chapter (which she WILL get, she's demanding it and a bigger trailer or else she'll walk...she may act all sweet in the fic, but she's a real diva) but Lennon demanded attention. I started writing Dawn's adventure and then a NEW idea came to me, so I had to write it up like post haste. Plus, I was having trouble making Dawn's adventure fit in between the Horror Bunny and the stuff I have planned for McKay. So it all worked out.

To all the Dawn fans, sorry, and to all the Lenny fans, it's ok, you can celebrate now.

--------------

"Are you sure you're ok, Charlie?" Dawn asked over her headset as she stumbled along one of the corridors in what the map indicated was sector ten.

"Yes, Dawn, she's fine," came the slightly irritable and completely unsolicited reply from Lennon, "The same way she was fine when you asked that same question two minutes ago, and two minutes before that, and two minutes before that!"

Dawn heard Charlotte stifle a chuckle at the geek's irritation. "Be nice Lenny, she's younger than you , you know. She'll probably outlive you."

"Yeah, be nice or else I won't come visit you at 'The Home'."

Lennon snorted, "Oh please, don't be so foolishly optimistic, I won't live that long." She poked her head into one of the crewman's quarters as she continued her sweep. She spotted the bed, which was torn up beyond repair, as though a wild animal had ripped into it with it's teeth and only barely contained a swear.

Shipper bunnies were on the loose. Fan-bleeping-tastic.

Lennon tried not to curse loudly and continued with her diatribe as she entered the room fully, gun brought up and ready to fire. "Considering the way things are going in _my_ life," she snarked, "My ninety two year old aunt will outlive _me_. Hell, _Sushi_ will outlive me."

Dawn couldn't keep from feeling puzzled at the reference to raw fish, "Sushi?"

"My goldfish."

"You named your goldfish…_sushi?_" Dawn asked incredulously.

"Yeah," Lennon replied, as though naming your pet after a dish that featured it as the main ingredient was perfectly natural, "What was I gonna call him, Spot? Rover? Spike?"

"I dunno," Dawn replied thoughtfully as she rounded a corner, "What about Mister Bubbles?"

"Oh. That's creative 'Mister Bubbles'. Think that one up on your own, did you?" she said derisively, "I mean, what's wrong with Sushi, anyway?"

"Well, I don't know. It's just odd to name a pet after a food isn't it?"

"Oh please, my sister named her hamster Muffin." Lennon approached the bed and poked at the coverlet with her gun as she spoke. "Which was actually kinda prophetic now that I think about it, considering that my cat gobbled him up like one."

"Wait, wait, wait," Charlotte broke in, clearly trying to push down a chuckle, "Your cat _ate_ her hamster?"

"Well...that _is_ what cats do, isn't it? She acted like it was such a shock when the critter disappeared and then Edgar coughed up a particularly large fur ball later in the day."

"Ew," Dawn said, clearly disgusted, "Lenny that's gross."

"No," Lennon stated pointedly as she carefully checked the rest of the room, "that's a cat."

"Sectors seven through nine are clear," Dawn said over the headset, changing the subject quite effectively.

"Clear? You mean, completely?" Charlotte asked, her voice sounding rather stunned.

"Well, no not _completely_. I mean, I had to wipe out a couple of nests and ran into a canon in drag, Zelenka, I think his name was, but other than that..."

"How're you doin' Lenny?"

"Sector four and five was pretty deserted," Lennon replied as she entered what passed for an Ancient designed bathroom, "Six is kinda turning out the same. I'm thinking I'm going to run into some shipper bunnies soon though."

"Why"

"Well," Lennon leaned down and picked up a tiny arrow off the ground in front of her, twirling it between her fingers, "I've found a couple of indicators. Little heart shaped arrows, a messed up bed, you know, the usual."

"Are they fluff bunnies, or smut bunnies?" Dawn asked with interest over the com.

"Can't be sure yet," Lennon answered as she stood again, tucking the arrow into her pack, "Maybe a bit of both. I-"

Lennon was cut off by the sound of a shrill scream and scuffling, from both her headset and from somewhere nearby. It _sounded_ like a woman.

"Did either of you hear that?" Dawn asked, a slight bit of panic creeping into her tone.

"Yeah, I heard it. Lenny?"

There was another scream, this time definitely masculine in nature, "Yeah...yeah...I think it's close. I'm going to go check it out, stand by."

With that, Lennon cautiously walked out of the crewman's room she'd been in, hurrying as best she could without taking any additional risks.

The idea of caution was thrown to the wind when another shout echoed off the ancient walls.

She picked up speed, her head turning from left to right as she ran searching out the source of the noise. Someone, somewhere was in trouble.

Time to play the reluctant hero again.

--------

Lennon's love of cats has nothing to do with McKay. _I_ am a cat person, and since I've noticed Lenny is the most like _me_ of the three (which, I swear to God was an accident), I figured that it was appropriate. Plus it gives you lot another possible first meeting scenario for the "Meeting Of Minds" challenge. A Vet's office, or a pet store, or a cat show or...

You get the idea XD As for the fish, well, my grandpa owned a Karp named Sushi. He was cute, you could feed him and pet him and the name just struck me as being clever. What do _you_ think will happen next? I wanna know! I'm keeping the next chapter hostage until I get...um...hm...another challenge response? Yes, that works.

Oh who am I kidding...next chapter will be up the second I finish it. -is SUCH a review whore- Another challenge response _would_ make my day though. As would another chapter from Nenya -bats eyelashes-

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to SGA. I DO however own the Plot Bunny Busters, Madison, Lennon, Dawn and Charlotte. I also own the concept of Sue Goo, Horror Bunnies, Smut Bunnies, Fluff Bunnies, Shipper Bunnies and blah, blah, blah as I portrayed them. If you steal from me (this doesn't count for the challenges, or if you ask for permission) I'll buy you a new pair of cement sneakers and drop you in the lake.

I'm Italian, my father was in the mob, see if I don't.


	19. I Want The Blood Of Rodney McKay!

There are a couple of changes in perspective throughout this chapter, but they're all noted by nifty little divider thingies, so hopefully it won't be too confusing.

---nifty divider thingy---

_A few minutes earlier..._

Carson stalked along the corridor in a rage. The Resurrection Bunny had drastically affected his judgment and personality. Even the Sues were no longer attracted to him due to the change in his disposition. Now, instead of the caring, sweet, cuddly Scottish Doctor, he was a vengeful, angry, surly bastard.

The Sues knew to stay as far away from him as humanly possible. Even those that were attracted to the broody type by nature had abandoned him in favor of searching out Ronon, because quote 'He just needs some loooove!'.

Carson tore along the corridors of Atlantis, instinctively knowing where he could find the man who had sparked his ire.

_McKay_.

A day or two before he had been glomped to death, his girlfriend, _his_ girlfriend, Laura Cadman, had broken up with him because she said she was in love with _McKay._ At the time, he made the logical assumption that it was somehow connected with the strange behavior that had been happening all over the city.

Now, however, logic and reason had all but flown out the window.

Now, he just wanted blood.

Namely, that of Rodney McKay.

----------------------

McKay sat huddled in the storage closet, rewiring the headset that he had used to contact the...well, whoever they were. He was trying to force it into using a different frequency than it had been before, in hopes of raising the attention of the three whom he'd heard bickering before. What was it, Lenny, Charlie and Don? Yeah, those were their names.

McKay had been fiddling with his headset for the past thirty five minutes or so, trying to change frequencies so that he could get back in touch with the three...whoever they were. It finally hummed to life with their bickering voices and as he was about to begin a patented McKay bitch and moan fest, the door to the closet he was in slid open violently.

There in front of him stood Doctor Beckett.

"Carson! Thank God! I thought you had-GAH!"

Beckett grabbed McKay by the collar and pulled him up off the floor, yanking him out of the closet with such force that McKay's shoes actually left the floor.

"Carson what's the matter with you? I-"

Carson dragged Rodney a few feet and slammed him into a wall, eliciting a squeal from him.

"Carson! Get ahold of yourself!"

Beckett still had hold of Rodney's collar and lifted him off the ground, angrily shouting at him.

Most of it, Rodney couldn't make sense of, but the words 'Girlfriend', 'Mine' and 'Laura' filtered through.

------------

Lennon ran all the way down the corridor until she came to a door, a strangely traditional earth type door, complete with brass doorknob and on hinges, not the type that opened with a 'Shluck' noise like all the others. She grabbed the doorknob and gave a shove.

The oak door wouldn't budge and the screaming and shouting got even louder, accompanied by scuffling noises that sounded suspiciously like someone getting their ass handed to them.

"Is this your idea of a joke?" she shouted angrily at the heavens, "I suppose I'm supposed to break it down, am I?"

She backed away from the door a few feet, got a running start at it and slammed her shoulder into it.

It gave.

A little.

She backed away once more, rubbing her shoulder which was now throbbing and screamed at the heavens again, "You have a sick sense of humor, Techie! You know that right?"

She ran at the door once more and this time it gave fully, bursting open.

-----------------

Beckett reared one hand back and swung at Rodney, hitting him full on in the face, the sound of the cartilage in McKay's nose making a cracking noise so loud it echoed.

"My nose! You...You broke my nose! I-"

Carson pulled his hand back again with the intent of hitting Rodney again, and McKay cringed, shying away from what was most likely going to be another equally painful blow from the Scotsman.

Instead of hitting Rodney in the face, Carson's fist was held back. A small, but quite obviously strong hand had wrapped around his wrist while he was in mid swing, pulling it off it's course.

Carson spun on his heel to turn his attention on whoever had had the nerve to try and stop him from wreaking his vengeance upon McKay. Rodney had been dropped during this exchange and had crumpled to the ground with one hand covering his badly broken and bleeding nose. He could see the shoes of whoever it was that had stopped Carson's rampage; A pair of bright red Converse sneakers, caked with mud along the sides, with untied checkerboard patterned shoelaces.

---------

Lennon held onto Beckett's wrist so tightly it was making her fingers ache. "I don't think you want to do that, buddy."

Beckett snarled at her, grabbed hold of her hand that had imprisoned his wrist and twisted it in a direction she was relatively sure it just wasn't meant to go in.

"Ahha, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"

The resurrected Doctor released her hand and gave her a mighty shove at the shoulders, sending her barreling back into the opposite wall, her spinal column getting jostled violently as she hit. His strength had been increased, not only by the resurrection bunny, but also by the sheer force of his anger, so much so that Lennon felt like she'd just been tossed off a three story building and had hit the cement below.

And she oughtta know how _that_ felt, she'd done it twice before.

She slid down the wall and landed on the ground with a plop. The only thing that had saved her from breaking her back had been that ridiculously heavy pack. It served as enough padding to keep her from being injured beyond recovery.

She silently swore to herself she'd never, ever, _ever_ complain about having to carry the thing again. It had saved her ass on many occasions today.

Beckett turned back to his first target, preparing himself for another strike against the enemy who had stolen his Lady Fair. He grabbed McKay by the collar once more and dragged him up off the ground.

Lennon struggled up off the floor, more pissed than she'd been in ages. Adrenaline was pumping so hard through her veins it felt like she'd just chugged an entire gallon of espresso. Her heart was beating violently in her chest, threatening to burst from her ribcage and go thumping across the room.

Beckett was about to hit the unaffected canon again when she let out a primal roar and launched herself at him, throwing all her weight into the blow. She knocked him off his feet with her fierce tackle and he hit the ground on his face, with her on his back.

She didn't even have time to take a breath. She quickly scrambled into a position where she was half straddling the Doctor's back. One of her legs was off to one side of him, bent at a _very_ uncomfortable angle, and the other kneecap was digging painfully into his spine.

She grabbed him by the hair and slammed his head on the ground. It was enough of a blow to give her the upper hand for a few seconds.

She dropped her pack off to one side of her body and grasped one of his wrists and twisted his arm behind him as hard as she could.

He gave a loud roar out of anger and pain.

As she continued twisting his arm, and as he squirmed beneath her, she reached into her pack with her free hand and withdrew a pair of Resurrected Canon escape proof cuffs.

Lennon slapped the cuffs around the wrist she already had in her grasp and then twisted his right wrist behind him, forcing it to join the other in imprisonment within the confines of the silver shackles.

Faster than she knew possible she had grabbed her pack and retrieved another syringe and bottle of tranquilizer. Again, she filled the thing to capacity and injected the rouge canon, holding him by the hair with her free hand until he stopped struggling.

She was breathing harder than she had in a long time. Lennon was sure she hadn't put out this much physical exertion since her last mosh pit experience.

She took a moment to compose herself, shutting her eyes, willing her breathing to return to normal before she turned and looked at the canon who had watched the entire thing play out.

He was back on the floor, his hand covering his nose, blood gushing out between his fingers.

She wearily got to her feet and he cautiously did the same.

--------------------------

Rodney regarded the woman across from him. Definitely didn't fit the action hero stereotype, that's for damn sure. She was shorter than he, maybe about five foot six-

Wait...why wasn't he thinking in terms of metric measurement?

Oh. Yes. That's right. Because the author is an American. Naturally.

And was dressed in a very worn Ramones tee-shirt and torn up jeans. The outfit was really revoltingly falling apart. He could see traces of something pink and gooey on it along with blood around her collar. She had definitely been through the wringer, that much was fairly obvious.

Her skin was deathly pale in contrast to her unnaturally black hair and small black eyes stared at him from behind _very_ unbecoming black plastic frames.

She was breathing hard as she regarded him, almost gulping for air and he felt he should say something.

"Uh...Rodney McKay," he said from beneath his fingers, which were trying to stem the flow of blood from his nose, "Uh...um..of Earth, Canada specifically." He brought up his free hand and parted his fingers in a Vulcan salute, the only thing he could think of at the moment, "Peace, live long and prosper."

---------------

Was he kidding? Peace, live long and prosper? What the hell was this guy on?

"I'm Lennon Fisk," Lennon replied, looking at him strangely, "Of the Bronx." She mimicked bringing her hand up, but gave him an _entirely_ different type of salute, one that involved only one _particular_ finger, "Screw you, and up yours."

-------------

A/N:Tada! Ok, so? What did you think? Was it good? How good? What did you like? What did you hate? I must knoooow! Tell me, tell me, tell me!

One last thing. The breaking of Rodney's nose over Cadman is a little running joke that I inadvertantly started a while back with my fic 'I'm Not' it's since been picked up by Elizabeth Bartlett and I hope it spreads throughout the fandom as a new cliche!

Lennon's made an appearance in one of her stories 'Someone To Call Me Daddy' and you should go check it out ;D


	20. Another Meanwhile

_Meanwhile..._

On the other side of the city, far away from Lennon, Charlotte and Dawn, was a huge room which had recently been renovated by some of Atlantis' newest arrivals. The walls were draped in silks and satins, flowers and rose petals were strewn everywhere and the air was thick with a perfume that was so overpoweringly feminine and soft, that had it been a color, it would have been pink.

At the center of this room, sitting on a hot pink, fuzzy throne, lounged the queen of the Mary Sues. Her Highness Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue.

Her softly curved and leggy form was dressed in pink, purple and various other becoming pastels, and her bright, silken golden locks fell in delicate wavy curls to her mid back. Azure eyes the color of sapphires stared out at the room as she sat, conferring with her subjects.

About a hundred other Sues.

The three bunny busters had taken the bait. The headsets in the hallway had been left there for them, and they had been foolish enough to take them. She couldn't believe her luck. She had thought that three so experienced agents would have known better.

Sarah had given her life in order to plant the things in that hallway, and her sacrifice would not be soon forgotten.

Now the Sues were able to keep track of the Busters' movements at all times, and had thus avoided detection for the most part. There were a few of the more ditzy Sues who had wandered across the path of the Blonde buster while in pursuit of their chosen ship, but they were easily written off as casualties in the ongoing war.

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue thought her plan to be fool proof. It was perfect in every way, from it's inception to it's inevitable conclusion. Her Mary-Sue minions had planted...well, never mind what they had planted, as that would give away a bit of the currently unfolding plot; But whatever it was, they had planted them where they would impede the busters progress.

When and _if_ the busters survived long enough to finally arrived in the Sue's sector of the city, they would be totally prepared and would strike without mercy. They would curse the day they had crossed the Mary Sues of Atlantis.

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue cackled maniacally at the thought.

"Hey!" Ashley shouted at the heavens angrily, "I'm a Sue! I do _not_ cackle maniacally!"

Oh...right...sorry. Strike that last bit.

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue filled her court with the sounds of her melodious laughter, which was like the tinkling of a thousand delicate bells and the fluttering of a million butterfly's wings, at the thought.

"Better," Ashley said as she slid further back on her throne, smiling sweetly at the assembled Sues.

Yes. It was a fool proof plan indeed.

-------------------------

A/N:I was wondering what had happened to all the other Sues…this was the result of that silly train of thought. I also have to apologize to anyone named Brittany, Ashley or Jennifer. I mean no disrespect, it's just that those particular names are the most common that I've come across throughout my life. I've known several dozen girls by those names and they also seem to be prevelent in various fandoms for Sues.

What have they planted? What -are- they planning? Tune in next time. Same Sue time, same Sue channel!


	21. Cleopatra Crosses Over

This was exhausting to write. I think it's the longest chapter yet. It _feels_ that way at least.

-------------------------

Once it had been established that Lennon had made contact with the unaffected canon, Charlotte ordered her to stay where she was and check the canon for bites, while she and Dawn completed their searches of the sectors they were in. After they were finished, Charlotte had said they would head back towards Lennon and make sure the canon was indeed _completely_ unaffected. They'd formulate a plan as to what to do next _after_ that.

After all, they still had about three quarters of the city to cover, there _might_ be other unaffected canons running around, and they had to wipe out every bunny nest that had established itself since the amnesia bunny's arrival.

Dawn had been listening over the com link to Lennon and McKay's bickering for the past five minutes or so, as she finished up her sweep of sector ten. It was... _entertaining_, to say the _very_ least.

"I _told_ you who I am already. I'm Lennon Fisk."

"That doesn't tell me anything! What are you doing here, hmm? What do you know about this epidemic? What _are_ those bunny _things_? I heard you talking about them, I _know_ you know what they are and why they're here! I demand that you tell me!"

"You're in no position to 'demand' anything! Now get undressed!"

"Not until you tell me what's- UNDRESSED? I knew it! You _are_ one of those Mary-Sue Things!"

Dawn had a hard time keeping herself from giggling as she walked purposefully towards the Mess hall, not missing a second of the dialogue between the two snarking people located several sectors away.

"I am _not_ a Mary Sue! If I were to attempt to explain the inner workings of what's going on to you, your tiny brain would spin inside it's skull! Now shut the hell up and take off your clothes!"

"Don't you dare tell me to-..._tiny_ brain? TINY BRAIN? I'll have you know I'm one of the most brilliant men that this galaxy has ever seen!"

A loud snort was heard over the airwaves, obviously from Lennon, "I'm sure the _Ancients_ who built this _city_ would disagree with you."

The blonde entered the Mess hall, her final stop in sector ten and began checking all along the floor for signs of bunny dens, still listening all the while. She got down on her hands and knees, slipped out of her heavy pack and began checking under all the tables, favorite places for the beasts to hide, pushing down all her giggles with quite a bit of effort.

"You stay away from me!"

"Oh for cryin' out loud, man, I'm not out to glomp you! I have to check you for bunny bites! Now hold still!"

"Keep away from me...you...you...YOU!"

"Look, pal, I have no idea what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. Now come here!"

There were some scuffling noises over the com link and Dawn heard Lennon sigh loudly, "This has long day written _all_ over it. Hey! Get back here!"

Dawn chuckled at the images running through her head. Poor Lennon, she finally found the canon and now he was being uncooperative.

"Not until you-"

The transmission suddenly cut out to be replaced by a loud mechanical buzzing noise.

Dawn was puzzled momentarily, searching out the source of the sound around her, before looking up.

She let out an ear splitting scream.

Floating in mid-air above her head, was a gigantic robot of some sort. It was heavily armed with what looked to be plasma cannons, and had a glowing green light shining from it's core. In addition to anti-gravity drives, obviously.

Dawn recognized it from her handbook on the various technologies throughout the Sci-Fi fandom that she had received when she was first assigned to this genre.

It was a Bailey. One of those nasty, super intelligent bots bent on the destruction-No, the complete eradication of mankind.

Her scream had caused the thing to turn in midair, and focus it's weapons on her. Dawn squealed and ducked under one of the tables as a hail of fire from the strange looking bot erupted all around her.

She heard shouting from around the room, and more weapons fire and couldn't contain another squeal as the table she was under was suddenly blasted into a million pieces. She scrambled as quickly out of the rubble as possible, making a mad dash for cover behind a column.

She didn't make it though, a hand reached out and grabbed her by the shoulder, pulling her off her current course.

It was a good thing too, since that column she had been heading for was blown up mere seconds after she'd been knocked to the ground by the woman who had grabbed her.

"Stay down!" The woman shouted, covering Dawn's crouched form with her own. She pressed a button on a type of gauntlet on her arm and a shimmering shield deflected one of the many blasts from the Bailey.

"Nifty little toy you've got there!" Dawn shouted over the row.

"Thanks!" the other woman shouted, lifting the 'Nifty little toy' and causing it to send a blast towards the bot.

Dawn's com link suddenly reactivated, "Dawn?" came Charlotte's panicked shout, "Dawn! Where are you? What's going on? Why do I hear gunfire?"

"I'm in the Mess hall! It's a crossover in progress!" Dawn screamed into her headset over the racket as several more of the bots materialized out of thin air.

"Which universe?" Charlotte shouted urgently as she ran along the corridors, searching for the blonde.

Dawn flicked her gaze to the woman who had just saved her life, a petite, shaggy haired bleached blonde. "Cleopatra 2525!" Came Dawn's panicked reply, "There's Baileys everywhere, Charlie!"

Charlotte swore and picked up speed, her legs starting to ache with the effort, "I'm coming!"

Dawn let out another yell as a string of shots rang out across the Mess hall, "Hurry, Charlotte!"

"Can you get to your crossover grenades?"

"No! They're all in my pack!" Dawn shouted.

The woman who was still holding onto Dawn, was firing shots from her gauntlet and had just managed to take down one of the floating bots as a loud metal 'Clink, clink, clink, clink' was heard.

How Dawn managed to hear it over all the explosions and what not, she wasn't sure, but she heard it all the same.

A large, silver canister had just rolled into the room and let out a huge plume of gray smoke, causing Dawn and the woman protecting her to cough violently.

Dawn's eyes were watering as the smoke filled the room and she heard Charlotte calling to her from nearby.

She watched as the two remaining Baileys started to phase back into their own universe due to the effects from the Anti-Crossover-Grenade.

The woman who had been holding onto her, protecting her through the use of her own personal shield, began to phase out as well.

"Thank you." Dawn whispered from around a strangling cough as the other blonde grew fainter and fainter.

"No problem," she replied with a grin, directly before being blinked out of existence, returned to her own rightful fandom. Dawn sat staring at the place where the woman had been for a few seconds before Charlotte's panicked shouts brought her out of her stupor.

"Dawn? DAWN! Damn it, Perry, where are you?"

"I'm...I'm here!" She shouted as loudly as she could, holding back the hard coughs that wracked her lungs. Dawn wiped her eyes, clearing the smoke from them as best she could, and spotted Charlotte's cartoonishly bright red hair through the cloud, "Over here, Charlie."

Charlotte dropped to her knees next to the stringy haired blonde and checked her over, "You alright?"

Dawn coughed a few more times as the smoke began to clear, "Yeah...yeah I'm ok." She struggled to her feet, "Let's get outta here, huh?

----------------

A/N:-hums the theme to C2525-Cleopatra 2525, for those of you who didn't know, was a short lived, cult TV show from the makers of Xena and Hercules (Omg Sam Raimi -swoon-). It was a half hour show which was packaged with Jack Of All Trades as a back to back action block on Saturdays. I think it lived for about a season and a half or so. It was one of those television gems that slipped under almost everyone's radar and got cancelled due to low ratings

Please, someone tell me I'm not the only one who remembers Cleopatra 2525. I _loved_ that show -weeps because it's cancelled- Although, it did get kinda goofy after that telepathic pod thing became a regular cast member.

-snort-Like a campy show about a stripper who gets cryogenically frozen during a boob job gone wrong and gets resurrected five hundred years into the future and joins a team of anti-robot freedom fighters consisting of a kick ass blonde, a chick with a voice in her head and an android was _serious_, hard hitting television _before_ the pod was introduced...

Either way, I still miss it. Not as much as Jack Of All Trades though...but that might be bias based on the fact that Bruce Campbell was in it -grins stupidly and swoons like the fan girl she is-

Ahem. Yes. Well. Both shows were great, and are now available on DVD so..you know, if you have the cash to throw around, GO BUY THEM! Or, take the cheapskate's route (like me, poor impoverished creature that I am) and hunt down some show scripts online, read them and use your imagination -wiggles fingers in an 'Ooooh magical' gesture-

Omg...I just realized something. I think the guy who played Grodin was in C2525 as the android...I can remember his voice pretty well (I never forget an accent) and they _were_ pretty similar...-wracks brain to try and remember exactly what Mauser looks like- Must research this further.

-goes off to check- Ok, they even _look_ sorta similar...if I squint just the right way while tilting my head and ignore Mauser's ginormous muscles.

Omgomgomgomgomg. I've just been informed that this silly little story has fan art to it's name! Squee! It seems my little universe has taken hold of the general SGA parody fanfic reading public, and isn't showing any signs of letting go.

Next it'll get a nomination for an award or something rofl XD

Well, ok, so maybe it won't go _that_ far.

I couldn't be more thrilled about the response this silliness has gotten, and have opened an official When Plot Bunnies Attack forum here on ff dot net to celebrate. Post links to your challenge responses, fan art, whatever on there. Or just chat about what you'd like to see next, or..you know...random squeeing. I don't care. It's just a place for all us same thinking goofballs to gather.


	22. Bimbofied!

The young blonde was still looking pretty shaken up as she and Charlotte entered the room where Lennon had spent the past half hour or so trying to get the canon out of his clothes.

"Hey, what's with the door?" Dawn asked as she entered behind Charlotte, her eyes going wide at the scene that awaited her. The room itself was in shambles, there was an unconscious canon character in cuffs lying on the floor, and Lennon had the unaffected canon in a half Nelson, trying to wrestle the clothes off his back.

He was putting up _quite_ a fight.

"Lennon! What the hell do you think you're doing?" Charlotte asked incredulously.

"What's it look like I'm doing? Having a picnic? Oof!" McKay delivered an elbow to Lennon's ribs and she almost lost her grip on him, "Don't just stand there! Hold him down!"

"Lenny! Let him go!"

"Are you nuts? It took me twenty minutes to get ahold of him and you want me to let him go? Hell no! I have to check him for bites, you now that!"

"Lennon, that's an order!"

Lennon looked up at her commanding officer with disdain, "But Charlotte!"

"DO IT FISK!"

With a very angry and rather inhuman sound from Lennon, she did as she was ordered, releasing McKay.

He quickly got to his feet and scrambled to the other side of the room, leaving Lennon sulking on the floor where she had been fighting with him just moments before.

Charlotte approached him carefully, watching him flinch with every step she took closer to him.

"Now you see what you've done?" She hissed at Lennon, "You've gotten him all jumpy now."

"Charlotte, how am I supposed to look him over if he wont be still?" Lennon asked sulkily, sending a glare in his direction.

Lennon's commanding officer ignored her, turning her attention towards the Canon, "Doctor McKay-"

"Who are you people? What are you doing here?" He asked angrily, looking her over. She looked quite a bit more trustworthy than Lennon did. Lennon's clothes were tattered and covered in goo and not very professional looking, while the woman in front of him was wearing what looked to be military issue. Black pants, black pocketed vest, fingerless gloves and combat boots, with a sidearm in a holster on her thigh.

She took another step closer, "Doctor, I'm Charlotte Walker." She pointed at herself and then indicated Dawn, "That's Dawn Perry, and I see you've already met Lennon Fisk." She glared at Lennon, "We're with the Anti Plot Bunny Association, and we're here to help."

"Help? HELP? You call her attacking me helping?" He pointed at Lennon who made a face at him.

Charlotte sent another glare in Lennon's direction, but the geek ignored it as she got to her feet, "Regardless of my colleagues'...unusual behavior, I guarantee that she had your best interests in mind."

Charlotte then launched into a quick explanation of the entire plot, which Techie didn't feel like typing out as dialogue.

When she finished, McKay looked at her like she was nuts, "You don't really expect me to _believe_ that, do you? The physics of what you're suggesting is impossible! You can't possibly move between all these 'fandoms' as you call them without-"

"You know, let's not examine this story's plot too closely, hmm? The logic of this scenario really doesn't hold up under much scrutiny. Besides," Lennon said, unconsciously rubbing her shoulder, "It might piss off the author, and it's been my experience that _that_ is something you want to avoid at _all_ costs. I-"

A sing song voice cut Lennon off in mid-sentence.

"Rodney! Oh Rooooodneeeeeey!"

The heads of all four people in the room shot up and turned towards the source of the voice. Someone was out in the hallway, calling out for McKay.

"Rodneykins, sweetie, come on out!"

Lennon's head snapped towards McKay, "You've got a Bimbo!Canon after you?"

"It-it-it-it's Elizabeth Weir."

Charlotte swore and pointed at McKay, "Hide him!"

Lennon grabbed McKay by the shirt and shoved him back into the closet where he'd been hiding before. She hit the panel at the side of the door with her fist, the closet slipped shut and she leaned against the doors, mere seconds before Bimbo!Weir wandered in.

Elizabeth's usual uniform had been abandoned in favor of a tight, whorehouse red, wet-look vinyl halter top and black leather hot pants. She was absently twisting a strand of her hair around one of her fingers, popping some bright pink bubblegum and staring vacantly off into space, clearly under the effects of a shipper bunny.

"Oh, hello!" She said cheerily, "Have you seen my cuddle bunny?"

Charlotte was, for once, at a loss for words. Here was the head of the Atlantis expedition, a woman in her late thirties, snapping some gum, twirling her hair and dressed like a teeny bopper, asking about her _cuddle bunny_.

It was enough to render _anyone_ speechless.

"Cuddle...bunny?" Lennon asked, trying to reconcile the idea of McKay being referred to by someone as 'Cuddle Bunny'.

"Yes, my cuddle bunny. Rodneykins. Have you seen him?"

"No. Sorry, haven't seen him," Charlotte said automatically.

"How about you," Weir looked at Lennon, "Have you seen him?"

"I can honestly say I've _never_ laid eyes on Rodneykins the cuddle bunny." Lennon replied, completely serious.

Bimbo!Weir stuck out her bottom lip in the most exaggerated pout that had ever graced her face, before turning to the youngest buster.

"How about you? Have you seen him?"

Dawn shook her head a little too vigorously, "No. Nope. Definitely not. Never saw him. Uh uh. No."

The bimbo arched an eyebrow, "Are you _sure_? You haven't seen him at _all_?"

Charlotte stared at Dawn, who had turned positively white. The newbie was seriously close to cracking under the pressure after her recent crossover experience, "Um...I uh...yes, I mean no I haven't seen-"

Lennon gave Dawn a swift kick in the shin to shut her up, while smiling warmly at the Bimbo, "Sorry, no, we haven't seen him."

"Oh pooh!" Weir sulked, stomping one stiletto-ed toe into the ground, "I've been looking everywhere for him!" She let out a huff and pouted some more before turning back to the busters. "If you see him, will you tell him I'm looking for him?"

"Yes ma'am. Will do."

Bimbo!Weir smiled brightly, "Thanks! See you around!" and skipped out of the room.

Dawn poked her head out in the hallway, and looked from one end to the other, making sure that the bimbo was out of earshot. "She's gone."

"Good grief," Charlotte said, shaking her head, "A Bimbo suffering from Shipper Bunny effects...horrible."

"You know what the question that nags at me whenever we run across a Bimbofied!Canon is?" Lennon asked as she turned and hit the panel on the side of the closet door, waiting for it to open.

"What Len, how an author could do something that cruel to such great characters?"

"No...how they can all _skip_ in five inch heels."

-------------------------------

A/N:Yes. Yes. It was short and stupid and in my opinion not very funny. I jumped back and forth between this version of this chapter and another, completely different version. It also took me over twenty four hours to update this story (and the collective crowd gasps). The plot bunnies aren't nibbling at me quite as severely as they once were. I think it's because of the heat or something. I'm trying to keep it going, but it's hard. I remind you once more to go and join my little plot bunny forum, I want it to become a really active SGA community where all us weirdoes can gather. Don't be shy, we're just as weird as you are ;D PLUS! There's a new challenge posted at the forum, woohoo!


	23. The Plot Thickens

Bimbo!Weir skipped happily down the corridors of Atlantis, grinning the whole way. Her smile was warm, and sunny and suggested a carefreeness that no normal human could ever attain without being on several types of prescription medication and/or illegal street drugs.

Her eyes, however, told a different story, for if one were to look closely, one would spot the unmistakable shine of malice within the orbs.

Oh, she knew those three were lying. She just _knew_ it. The way the blonde had nodded so vigorously her head threatened to snap off like a Barbie doll was only one of the indicators, for if Bimbo!Weir looked closely enough, she could spot several others.

Several bits of incriminationg evidence that pointed to the fact that they were trying to keep her from her Rodney bear.

Did they really think that she couldn't smell her cuddle bunny's cologne on the geek? She _reeked_ of the stuff, the Bimbo had been able to scent her from eight feet away. She had obviously been in _very_ close quarters with _her_ Rodney very recently.

Bimbos, you see, regardless of how airheaded they appear to be on the surface, are _fiercely_ possesive of their chosen ship, sometimes even moreso than the Sues.

Yes, that black haired, glasses wearing geek simply _had_ to go.

The only reason she hadn't confronted them right _then_, was because they were armed...heavily.

What little that remained of Elizabeth Weir's rational mind had reminded her of a few vital facts.

Never go up against someone who's armed unless you are as well.

So, here she went, skipping along the corridors, off to the armory to pick something up that would assist her with disposing of the competition that was Lennon Fisk and the obstacles that were Dawn Perry and Charlotte Walker.

She hopped into the armory, eyes gleaming and sauntered over to a gun chest, which she threw open.

When her eyes passed over a shiny nine millimeter pistol, her face lit up.

A voice in her head piped up 'Gun good.'

She reached for it, but stopped when she saw something that was oh-so-much more intriguing which caused that same little voice to speak again.

'Gun good. Bazooka better.'

--------------------

A/N: -sing song voice- You'll never guess what I did today...I wrote the final chapter of this stooooory! It finally has an ending!

Granted, the end doesn't come for quite a while (I hope you won't be tired of this story by then, actually) but it's nice to finally have a good solid ending in place. I often write several chapters ahead of time, which ever scenes stick out to me the most.

This chapter has one of my favorite descriptive lines I've EVER written. It's one of those things that makes me want to pat myself on the back for coming up with it.

_the blonde had nodded so vigorously her head threatened to snap off like a Barbie doll _

I certainly have a knack for describing things, don't I? -shakes head-

Ah, but were my genius put towards good and noble things and deeds instead of the many useless pursuits with which I fill my time.

Bear in mind, I'm going to be a teacher...this should scare you beyond belief. For once I graduate, I shall be shaping the minds of tomorrow!

If you live in the states, and have children of grade school age, you might want to move within...oh say, the next three years...


	24. And Thickens Some More

_And meanwhile..._

The Stargate sprang to life once again, for the second time in the past day. No one could explain _how_ it managed to kawoosh to life, considering that Charlotte still has that very vital blue crystal from chapter ten tucked into her vest, but a wormhole opened, regardless.

Even though it was a plot hole that you could fit a VW bus in at worst and a huge leap in logic at best, is happened none-the-less.

From the gate, three grungy figures tromped down the ramp, all of them heavily laden with packs, each of which rivaled the size of a Pinto.

Three grungy figures, two of which were vaguely familiar to the universe around them…

Lennon, Charlotte and _Madison._

But these were not the same three intrepid heroes who had saved countless fandoms before. No, these were three who were quite...different. There was nothing about them that was good, or wholesome, or heroic, (although the words good, wholesome and heroic can rarely be used in relation to the 'real' Lennon Fisk, anyway). Anyone could have seen that by just glancing at them.

The Lennon that stepped out of the gate was wearing pink, for a start, a dead give away that she was more than a little bit touched in the head. Her tastes in music ran from Avril Lavinge to Avril Lavinge, which would have made the 'real' Lennon violently convulse, and upon her shoulder there was perched a small, fluffy, pastel striped plot bunny named Nenya.

The Charlotte who stepped out of the event horizon wasn't smoking her trusty and ever present stubby cigar, for she believed smoking to be bad for her health. Her fingerless gloves and black leather vest were gone, completely ruining the almost Frohike like image than the 'real' Charlotte held so dear. Her own plot bunny, Myria, a soft brown colored creature, hopped down the ramp next to her ankle.

And the other, Madison, was most definitely not the _real_ Madison at all. The real Madison was best described as being like a humming bird, since thirty percent of her body weight was heart, this Madison however, was haughty, vain and cruel and not the least bit likeable. Her bunny, a bluish gray one with sharp black eyes, by the name of Bartlett was peeping up out of her pack.

They weren't with the APBA, nor were they here to save the day.

They were with the Anti-Bunny-Busters-Task-Force...and they were here to wreck it.

And in the corner of the room, three Alternate Universe Bunnies, with devilish goatees and sparkly sashes tied about their waists, laughed and rubbed their paws together in a most unbecoming and villainous manner.

There were Anti Busters in Atlantis.

--------------

A/N:I had to. I HAD TO! Alternate universes are one of the most cliche things that exists in the sci fi fandom, and they're one of the things I've wanted to tackle in this thing from the very beginning.

Plus, after T'Pring mentioned the word goatees in relation to Alternate Universe bunnies, I saw an opportunity for a Star Trek reference that I simply could _not,_ in good conscience, pass up.

Also, had to deal with plot holes, as they are prevalent in this medium. You know they are.

I named the bunnies after the three people who responded to my challenges first, NenyaVilyaNenya, Elizabeth Bartlett and Myriadragon.

See? It _does_ pay to be my buddy.

Unless, of course, you'd rather not be immortalized as a plot bunny in a parody such as this...in which case...you know...tough noogies...


	25. So Thick You Could Stir It With A Stick!

On the other side of Atlantis, far, _far_ away from the Bunny Busters, and even _farther_ away from the _Anti_ Bunny Busters, a Muse by the name of Cupcake wobbled and wove her way through corridor after corridor, shooting up every bunny den she came across like she was channeling Dirty Harry.

The wobble in her gait was partially attributed to the positively _huge_ AK-47 sub machine gun she carried (in addition to several other weapons, all of which were strapped to her back), and also partially attributed to the fact that she was three sheets to the wind.

Alright, more like four.

Or five.

Ok...maybe _six._

If she had the same circulatory system of a human, she might have died of alcohol poisoning by now.

So yes...very, _very,_ drunk indeed.

She had to be in order to get up the nerve to go up against the Plot Bunny Menace all by herself.

Oh, she knew the rules, to be sure. Every Muse knew that you were absolutely _not_ to interfere in the fandom once the Busters were sent in. If you did, you ran the risk of having your tangibility revoked by Serendipity, the head of the Muse's Syndicate.

But after a girl's poker night with several other fandom Muses, and quite a bit more Romulan ale than she was comfortable admitting, she had decided that this was _her_ fandom, and she'd be damned if those Busters were going to wipe out her enemies for her.

Despite her inebriation, however, she had quite effectively cleared out close to a quarter of the Bunny population since her arrival.

Quite frankly, it was starting to show.

Her once pristine, white, Grecian Muse's toga was now almost completely soaked through with the sticky, syrupy blood of the bunnies. Her hair, which had at one time been in a lovely, traditional, ancient Greek arrangement, complete with deity worthy golden color, was now matted and pasted to her head with the stuff.

She continued her stumbling trek throughout several sectors, only running into a wall once and managing not to trip over her sandals as she wobbled. She stopped momentarily to do a mental tally of all the dens she'd wiped out over the past few hours. Sectors sixty through eighty were completely cleared

God, but she hated those bunnies, and she intended to wipe out every last one, from here to the mainland...

And no _Bunny Busters_ were gonna stop her...

--------------

A/N:I finally got to name a character after Strawberry Cupcake, the lovely person who inadvertently started this madness by naming a plot bunny and giving him to me.

It's Joe, in case you've forgotten, and he's still living in my sock drawer.

My wallet is still missing too -glares at Joe-

A quick answer to a question I keep getting via PMs-

How can you write so much, update so quickly, etc.-

Two things contribute to my continued success as one of the fastest updated authors here on ff dot net-

I have an overactive imagination and I live in Wisconsin, which means there's nothing better to do -head desk-


	26. One Hunderd Thirty Six And A Half

Alright, the next few chapters are going to sort of crossover with 'Meeting Of Minds:Lennon And McKay' by NenyaVilyaNenya. The events in that story will eventually be mentioned in this one, so in order for you to have a frame of reference as to what the characters are talking about, you should read that one. I promise, it's excellent (like, beyond belief, actually) and well worth the time.

-makes googly hypnotic eyes- Read it...reeeeeead it...reeeeeeeeeeead iiiiiiit. -wiggles fingers at reader-

-------------------------

_And now, back to our three heroes, who are quite oblivious to the various dastardly deeds in progress around the city._

"Hold still, will you?"

"Do you even know what you're doing?"

"Yes. I took medical training at the APBA academy. Got top marks in my classes. I'm a regular Florence Nightingale."

"Oh, I'm sure. Ouch!"

Lennon dabbed at McKay's broken nose with an alcohol soaked cotton ball, carefully cleaning all the blood away, "Oh would you stop whining, it's not _that_ bad."

"Not that bad? He broke my nose! And I do not whine! OW!"

Lennon rolled her eyes and continued gently cleaning McKay up, "Yeah well, he almost broke my _back,_ in case you've forgotten. I don't think that a bit of cracked cartilage warrants this much complaining. And you do too whine."

"Do not-OW!"

"Oh, stop being such a kvetch!"

"A what?"

"Kvetch...it means complainer."

McKay glared at her, but said nothing as she finished wiping off all the blood.

As Lennon set about her first aid duties (arguing back and forth with her reluctant patient all the while), Charlotte and Dawn had unfurled their maps of the city, crossing off all the sectors that had already been cleared of bunnies.

"Hey, Len, how many sectors did you clear before you caught up with our Doctor friend?"

Lennon paused her work momentarily, her face scrunching up as she thought, "Uh, I took care of four, five and part of six."

Charlotte looked up from her map, "Part of six?"

Lennon nodded and picked up a roll of medical paper tape, "Yeah...I found a shipper bunny arrow, remember? Then I heard shouting and…well, we all know what happened then…" She waved a dismissive hand in McKay's general direction.

Charlotte turned back to the map while fishing in her pocket for a cigar, "Alright so...how many have we cleared?"

Dawn flicked her eyes over the map and then over the list she had in her hand, "Well, the three of us cleared out sectors one, two and three, Lenny took four, five and six, I finished up seven through ten, and you did eleven through fourteen."

Charlotte found the cigar she'd been searching for and placed it between her lips, "Alright, we've cleared thirteen and a half, then. Gotta go back and take care of those shipper bunnies in sector six. Once we're done with that, how many sectors have we got to go through?"

"Uh," Dawn flipped a few maps aside, "One hundred thirty six...and a half."

Lennon, who had only been half listening to the conversation between her two comrades, was suddenly paying rapt attention.

"One hundred thirty six?" She squeaked, "ONE HUNDRED THIRTY SIX? It's taken us almost-" she looked down at her watch, "Almost...wait a second." She held the watch up to her ear, "Damn it! They broke my watch!"

Lennon grabbed McKay's arm roughly and looked at _his_ watch, "It's taken us almost six hours to clear out fourteen sec-"

"Thirteen and a half," Dawn corrected.

"_Fine_. It's taken us almost six hours to clear out _thirteen and a half _sectors, and we have one hundred and thirty six to go? We're gonna be stuck here for a week!"

"Now, Lenny, that's taking things a bit far," Charlotte said reasonably, "It won't be a week."

Lennon ignored Charlotte, talking over her, "HQ said we'd be here a day! Two days tops!"

"But, Lenny-" Dawn began, only to be ignored by the railing geek.

Lennon had started to pace and was talking at full speed now, so quickly that the only person in the room who was even vaguely following what she was saying was McKay, "This is ridiculous! Thirteen and a half sectors in six hours, that's what? Two and a quarter sectors every hour? Fine, so two and a quarter per hour, with one hundred eighty six and a half sectors remaining, and a half a sector margin of error per hour, just in case, _God forbid,_ something should go amiss, we're looking at three and a half days."

"Lennon..."

"Add that margin of error in, and we're looking at five! Five days, Charlotte! Just for the eradication! It'll take me at least another half a day to set up the restoration device! And that figure is provided we work _nonstop_! If we were to actually indulge in such extravagancies as sleeping and eating, that's another seventy seven hours tacked onto my original figure! That's eight days total!"

"Lenny!"

Lennon's head snapped up suddenly, "What?"

"It _won't_ take that long. We've cleared out larger fandoms in less time."

"Larger, yes, but not with this level of infestation!" Lennon placed her hands on her hips, "We spent two weeks in the Sliders fandom, three in the Buffyverse. You _know_ how quickly and easily these things can get out of hand, especially with someone like-" Lennon pointed upwards indicating...God only knows who, "At the helm!"

"Relax, Lenny. We'll be out of here in no time, you'll see. Dawn and I will split up the remaining sectors and we'll set out-"

"What about me?" Lennon asked, narrowing her eyes at Charlotte.

"You'll stay here with the canon, of course."

"I...you..WHAT?"

"You have to stay with McKay."

"Why do I have to baby-sit him?" Lennon asked, her voice rising an octave with pure indignation.

"Someone has to stay with the canon."

"Yeah, but why can't the newb handle it, huh? It's a soft mission, she could handle _that_."

Dawn looked offended, "I don't need any 'soft' missions, thank you."

"Oh, well look who knows so much," Lennon replied, a nastiness creeping into her tone that hadn't been there before, "You've been with the Busters what, nine months? Fresh out of the academy too, I'll bet. You've only been on our team for six, and you're still learning the ropes, if I were you, I'd take the soft missions while I can get 'em, 'cause it only gets harder from here. I've seen sh-"

"Lennon," Charlotte said warningly, "Back off."

Lennon's left eye gave a slight twitch, but Dawn quickly changed the subject, "I don't see why _anyone_ has to stay with McKay," she said matter-of-factly, "He's a major canon, I'm sure he can handle himself."

Charlotte turned her head to look at the canon who was sliding his arms through the sleeves of his uniform's jacket, "Hey, McKay."

He stopped what he was doing and turned suspicious eyes on Charlotte, "What."

"Can you handle a firearm?"

Lennon's eyes got big behind her glasses as she shot Charlotte a warning look, which her commanding officer pointedly ignored.

"Yes. Yes. If _she_ can be a nurse," he said sarcastically, gesturing at Lennon, "Then _I_ can be an action hero."

"Good enough for me." Charlotte reached into her pack and snapped up a nine millimeter, which she then carelessly tossed to McKay.

He caught it..._barely_. It had slipped in his grip and he'd almost lost hold of it.

What little confidence Lennon had in McKay as _any_ sort of hero sunk with his display of lack of hand eye coordination.

"That's it. It's over. We're doomed."

Charlotte gave Lennon's shoulder a shove, "Knock it off, geek."

Lennon glared at the other woman, "Goon."

-----------------------

A/N:God, writing McKay is hard -head desk- I was doing so good with him for so long, and then I pretty much stopped writing dialogue for him throughout my stories and now I'm all nervous about diving back in again.

Any good?


	27. Slash Bunnies And Sue Spores

Jennifer Ashley Brittany Sue was-

"Hey!" She called up to the sky from her throne, "My name is Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue! Get it together for continuities sake!"

Right. Right. Yes. Of Course.

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue was sitting upon her fuzzy pink throne, utterly enthralled with a small display screen which was clasped ever so lightly in her perfectly manicured hand.

On the display, there were three small, green dots accompanied by one blue dot, moving along at a steady pace. The three greens were, of course, the Busters, and the blue...well, at this point Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue didn't really care.

The point was, all four of those _lovely_ little dots were moving along towards a cluster of stationary pinkish purple dots.

A smile that would have rivaled that of a Cheshire cat spread across Ashley's face.

They were about to walk directly into her trap...

_Perfect._

The three Bunny Busters and their new companion made their way through sector six, guns at the ready, traveling in an unusual formation.

Charlotte was in front, while Lennon and Dawn were on either side of Rodney, about a footstep behind him. While not the most convenient way to travel, it was the safest. After all, the rules clearly stated that if you found an unaffected canon, your first priority was to protect him/her/it.

Dawn and Lennon had wiped out the shipper bunny den already, and were now poking their heads in various rooms on either side of the corridor, checking for stragglers.

Dawn stuck her head inside one room and yanked herself back from it violently, her eyes wide as saucers. She looked to be equal parts horrified, intrigued, disgusted and embarrassed.

"What is it?"

Dawn looked at her feet and blushed, "Uh...well, let's just say someone over at adult fan fiction dot net has been _very_ busy in the slash section."

Lennon turned to the stringy haired blonde and couldn't stifle a laugh at the look of horror/disbelief/interest on her face, "Let me guess...your first time seeing slash bunnies in action?"

Dawn nodded vigorously, her mouth still slightly agape.

Even Charlotte had to chuckle, although she managed to keep it down to a polite one, so as not to hurt the newbie's feelings.

McKay was annoyed that he had no idea what they were talking about...women and their inside jokes...

"Do you three ever indulge in this little pastime I like to call 'making sense'?" He asked irritably.

"What?" Lennon looked at him, "Do you want an explanation or something?"

"No. I don't need an...yes...yes, I think I would."

Well, that was certainly unexpected.

Charlotte looked at Lennon reprovingly, "Slash is the general term for-"

"Two of your male buddies gettin' it on," Lennon said, a smile in her tone as she bounced on the balls of her feet, thoroughly enjoying the shock that crossed McKay's features, "Betcha weren't expectin' that one were ya?"

"I don't believe you," McKay countered, as he stepped up to the door that Dawn had already peeked inside.

He backed away from the door, almost stumbling back into the opposite wall of the corridor, his eyes gone huge, "Th-th-that can't have been-"

Charlotte looked at McKay, "Oh come now, it can't have been that horrific." She peeked around the doorframe momentarily, "Well, well, well...I didn't know that Lorne had it in him. Or Ford, for that matter..."

Lennon's curiosity got the better of her and she pushed Charlotte aside, "Wow...just...wow..." Lennon sighed wistfully as she hit the control panel, letting the doors slip shut, "I wish I was that flexible."

Charlotte quirked an eyebrow at Lennon, "Lenny...you _are_ that flexible. Remember? That mission to the DS9 'verse? That stuff you ingested that-"

Lennon made a sickened face and shuddered, "Don't remind me. Don't _ever_ remind me."

"Uh, guys, I think our canon is in shock."

Charlotte and Lennon turned back to look at McKay.

He seemed utterly horrified. No. More than horrified. In fact he was so...so..horrified that even with the assistance of a thesaurus, Techie couldn't find a word that fit his current state better than _horrified_.

"I don't...I can't..._with the door open_? That is _so_ unprofessional! And with a banana? A banana!"

Charlotte stepped foreword and placed a tentative hand on McKay's shoulder. "Ship bunnies can make you do all sorts of things against your will. Gay characters go straight, vanilla characters go kinky, people have sex involving bananas with the door open; it happens."

Brittany Jennifer Ashl-

"How many times do I have to correct you?"

Right. So sorry.

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue was growing impatient with the dawdling of the four small dots on her handheld view screen thingy, so Techie wisely did a scene change and moved things right along.

After McKay had sufficiently recovered from his shock, (and by 'sufficiently' I mean he stopped holding onto his own arms while rocking back and forth saying 'It can't be. It can't be.' and lamenting his inabilty to ever have a banana daquiri without blushing ever again) the four resumed their trek through the corridors.

Charlotte stopped suddenly and held out one of her hands, silently indicating that the group should stop.

"Do you smell that?"

"Well, I certainly can't smell anything, I'm pretty sure that Carson did irreparable damage to my sinuses and-"

"Not you. Lenny, do you smell it?"

Lennon gave the air a tentative sniff, "It...it smells almost like...flowery perfume." She made a face, "Flowery _pink_ perfume."

The three Busters looked to each other and all whispered in unison, "Sues."

McKay's eyes suddenly got big and he was about to speak when Lennon clamped a hand over his mouth, "Not a word!" She hissed as quietly as possible.

Charlotte brought her gun up, and motioned with her free hand, silently ordering the other three to follow her with their weapons at the ready.

Charlotte edged around the next corner carefully, nine millimeter at eye level, ready to squeeze off a shot at anything that dared so much as twitch in her sight.

The only thing in the hallway in front of her was a huge plant, which had crept along the walls and spread out, completely blocking the path in front of them. The strange foliage had several large buds hanging from it, all of them in delicate pastel colors, and the stink of pink was coming from them.

Charlotte brought her gun back down, "False alarm. They're only Sue Blooms. Dawn, get out a few of those Bloom Bombs so we can clear this corridor. Last thing we need is an OC wandering up to these."

Dawn slipped off her pack and rummaged through it, as Lennon gave the flowers a nasty glare. She _hated_ these things.

McKay, on the other hand, was strangely drawn to them.

"What are they?" he asked, as he reached out to touch one of the bright pink blossoms, which almost seemed to lean closer to him.

"No!" Lennon shouted, lunging at him and shoving him away from the flower.

It was too late however, for the moment she had pushed him out of the way, the blossom opened and released a pale pink, sparkling cloud of spores which engulfed her, making her cough violently. "Oh..oh no...not _again_..."

"Lenny!" Charlotte cried as both she and Dawn rushed to their teammate.

"Sue...Sue Spores," Lennon choked out, before collapsing on the ground.

Charlotte swore so loudly and so harshly it would have made the geek proud.

"Dawn, get her pack off her, quick!"

Dawn got to her knees and carefully, but quickly shifted the older woman so that she could remove the pack.

Before she could, though, Lennon began to convulse.

"Damn it!" Charlotte dropped to her knees and grasped Lennon's shoulders, "We'll have to do it this way! Hold her down!"

"What's happening to her?" Dawn asked anxiously as she grabbed hold of Lennon's ankles and kept her from thrashing.

"The Sue Spores are trying to alter her OC genes! Trying to get her to transform into something she's not!"

Dawn looked horrified.

"Ever seen 'An American Werewolf In London'?" Charlotte asked.

Dawn replied with an open mouthed nod.

"Remember the transformation scene?"

Dawn's eyes grew so wide they looked like they were ready to roll out of her skull.

"You mean it's going to be like that?"

"No...WORSE!"

Lennon's body began to quake more violently while her system valiantly fought off the invading forces of the Sue Spores.

The muscles under her skin began to shift, changing her body's shape and appearance. Her torso lengthened and her legs became more toned and shapely as her hips grew curvier.

"Oh God, the changes, they've started! McKay! Get over here!"

McKay, who had been shoved out of harms way, and was now on the floor a few feet away, watched on in horror.

"McKay! Hold her!" Charlotte shouted desperately.

"What?"

"HOLD HER DOWN!"

Charlotte left McKay to hold Lennon's shoulders down as she thrashed and cried out; Even her voice was being affected by the spores, lending a more melodic quality to her screams.

Charlotte shucked out of her pack with lightning speed she was unaware she possessed, dumping all it's contents on the ground. She frantically searched the strewn items and snatched up a syringe and small vial of Patented Bunny Buster Sue Spore Antidote.

More than Lennon's body was changing by now. Her black hair, which had once looked rather frizzy, wild and fakely colored, had taken on a luster and was tamed into soft waves.

Charlotte filled the syringe as quickly as possible, and got to Lennon's side.

"Hold her still!"

Lennon's eyes flew open, revealing that they were no longer so dark you could barely tell the pupil from the iris. Now they were the color of bitter chocolate and they _sparkled_ in the light.

McKay shoved Lennon's shoulders into the ground a bit harder, trying to keep her from wiggling quite so much, as Charlotte grasped her hair in her fist and jabbed the needle into her throat. She pushed the plunger in quickly, emptying the contents into her friend's bloodstream.

The sparkling bitter chocolate color drained from Lennon's irises, leaving the more familiar, almost black color in it's place.

It had been _close_. Way _too_ close.

Lennon's eyes slipped shut as a fresh seizure wracked her body harshly, but nowhere near as violently as those that had come before.

After a few more minutes, the convulsions subsided, leaving her trembling slightly on the ground.

Charlotte pushed the sweat covered hair out of Lennon's face and forced one of her eyes open, "Lenny? Lennon? C'mon geek, say something."

Lennon took a shuddering breath, "Ch...Charlie?"

"Yes, Lenny?"

"Promise me some...something?"

"Anything, Lenny." Charlotte waited several seconds for Lennon's reply and when it didn't come right away, she turned worried green eyes on Dawn, who was kneeling at Lennon's feet, looking horribly shaken.

Lennon took a gulp of air, "Promise me-"

"Yes, Lenny?"

"If I _ever_ do anything that stupid again, shoot me in the head."

Charlotte let out an extremely relieved laugh, "Yes, Lenny."

A/N: Ah! This was one of the very first ideas I had when I started this story -grins like mad- and now...oh God it's nice to see it come to something! Not sure if it was sufficiently funny, or not though...

Time for your daily lesson in Techiedom (yeah, I've given my universe it's own name...isn't that sad?)

Sue Spores _n_. Sue Spores are those nasty little things which can turn an OC into a Mary Sue within a story. We've all seen it happen, a story that begins with an OC who's somewhat believable, but eventually grows Sue-ish. Usually, the author really isn't aware that it's happened (I know I'm not, cause it _has_ happened to me before) until it's too late.


	28. The Writer Can't Come Up With A Title

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue had been watching those four dots on that monitor for the past fifteen minutes, and had almost leapt with joy when the green color from one of them began fade and turn pink.

That OC had been exposed to the Sue spores...the Sue's queen giggled with glee, her plan was working beautifully.

That particular dot got brighter and brighter, and Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue got more and more excited, watching as an OC was being turned into a Sue right before her eyes, right up until-

The pink slipped away from that green blip on the screen suddenly, leaving only a slight trace of the pastel in the bright neon green.

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue gave a scream of frustration and hurled the small display screen across the room, cutting one of her loyal subjects when it konked her in the head.

So close. They had been _so_ **close**!

Her Highness huffed, crossed her perfectly toned ivory arms over her ample chest and sulked.

She turned angry eyes on the sky once again, "I do **not**_ sulk_."

Fine. Sulking is out.

Her Highness huffed, crossed her perfectly toned ivory arms over her ample chest and engaged in some deep, thoughtful, contemplation.

What to do...what to do...

------------------

Lennon's unconscious form had been carried with effort from the place where she had collapsed in that hallway, to the nearest available crewman's quarters.

Which, by some odd and unpredictable plot twist, just _happened_ to be McKay's.

Charlotte laid Lennon on his bed and looked her over. She was still breathing pretty hard, and her body hadn't completely recovered from the Sue Spore exposure. There were some...well, it would be explained within a few paragraphs, no need to go into it _just_ now.

McKay had received a bump on the head when Lennon had knocked him out of the way of the Sue Bloom, so Dawn had him sitting down, in what passed for the living room of his quarters, and was carefully checking for a concussion.

Charlotte was keeping vigil next to Lennon, waiting for her to regain consciousness. Sure, she had snarked at her before out in the corridor, but she had passed out a few seconds later.

The commanding officer took this opportunity to bandage the gash in the geek's forehead, and as she finished, the other woman let out a groan.

"Ugh..."

Charlotte, no matter how many times you might try to force her, would never admit to feeling such relief at hearing that small gurgling grumble as Lennon shifted slightly.

"How're you doin', geek?"

Lennon's eyes slid open drowsily and she shifted positions on the bed, sucking air through her teeth with the effort. "Every time I move, it's a new adventure in pain. So, you know...nothing new," she griped, clearly sound of mind once more, "Did I save the canon?"

"Yeah he's fine," Charlotte said as she peered around the bedroom entrance and spotted the shaky man near the door, "Well, as fine as can be expected after everything he's been through."

"Oh...everything _he's_ been through, uh huh." Lennon made an attempt at sitting up.

"Uh uh, no, no, no, no," the team leader gave her subordinate's shoulders a gentle push, pinning her back to the mattress, "You're staying right here until the effects have worn off completely."

"Charlie," Lennon tried to move to a seated position once more, "I'm fine, honestly. Ah ha ow."

"You'll forgive me if I'm not convinced of that. I'm insisting you rest, you've been through hell today."

Lennon glared at her superior officer, "Charlie, I'm the only one who can set up...well...pretty much _anything_, you _know_ that. I can't lie in bed all day."

"Not all day, you _should_ make a complete recovery within the hour."

"But Charlie, I- wait a minute. What do you mean _should_?"

"Well, it was close, Lenny. Really close. We almost lost you this time and as you know, with prolonged exposure...there may be some...lingering effects."

Lennon paled so much her ordinary skin tone looked bronze in comparison, "Like?"

Charlotte winced slightly, "Well, just look at yourself Lenny."

Lennon didn't have a mirror handy so she ran her hands over her face. Eyes, mouth, nose...they all felt the same, "What _are_ you on about? I'm the same as I ever was."

"Look..._down,_ Lenny," Charlotte said tactfully.

Lennon glanced down and only barely stifled a scream. Her curves had been redefined to the extreme, her chest had somehow managed to double in size, tearing her shirt quite effectively to the point that as a modest article of clothing, it no longer served it's purpose.

"How am I supposed to work with those?" she squeaked, "I'll lose my balance every time I try to bend over!"

Charlotte forcefully pushed her panicked comrade back on the bed, "Calm down, Lennon. The swelling should go down, but only if you don't exert yourself too much."

Lennon sat up again, "But I-"

"Lennon." Charlotte gave Lennon a look that clearly came across as saying 'Now stop arguing with me, you won't get anywhere' and Lennon flopped back down on the mattress, giving an angry huff.

"Fine. I'll wait."

"Alright, look, Dawn and I are going to go bomb those blooms. We've already established that this particular sector is clear, so you should be alright on your own."

"And the canon?"

Charlotte grimaced, "I'd really rather he stay here with you. His records might say he's 'alright' with a gun, but he's already proven himself to be a liability in the field. Think you can handle him?"

Lennon rolled her eyes, as if one astrophysicist would be any trouble for someone like _her_, "Please, is Bismarck a herring?"

Charlotte smiled and patted Lennon on the shoulder, "That's what I thought."

_Meanwhile..._

"You mean you don't have any kind of plan set up? No established code of conduct in place for when you go on these missions?"

"Well, there's a sort of guideline, but...not really, no."

"So you're just flying by the seat of your pants?"

"Lenny says it's the only way to travel." Dawn said as she continued wrapping gauze around McKay's head.

McKay stared off into space for a moment, "Lenny...huh."

Dawn tilted her head at him, "What?"

McKay shook his head as much as he could while it was still in Dawn's grasp, "Nothing. She reminds me of...someone I met once...though I can't remember _who._..or even...when or where, for that matter."

McKay's statement, had it been heard by someone who'd been in the field as long as Charlotte or Lennon, would have set off several warning bells. The warning signs of an old Amnesia Bunny infection went unnoticed by the inexperienced woman, however.

"She's got one of those faces."

"She's...a little...strange, isn't she?"

Dawn's pale eyebrows lifted into her hairline, "Depends on your definition of strange."

"Well...I mean...she almost got herself killed just now, didn't she? Why didn't she just let me get hit with those...those Sue things? You would have given me the antidote the same as-"

Dawn shook her head, "No, no. You don't seem to understand. Sue Spores are fatal for Canon characters, you would have been dead before you hit the ground. For us, they just hurt like hell."

"So then she-"

"Saved your life...yes." Dawn finished wrapping the nasty bump on McKay's head and snipped off the excess gauze, "There, all done."

Charlotte exited the bedroom, "She'll be fine." She looked at McKay, "I want you to stay with her while we go take care of those Sue Blooms...shouldn't take us more than an hour, probably a lot less, actually."

"How much is 'a lot less'?"

"It might take us twenty minutes, might take us an hour, depending on how deep those roots go."

Charlotte slapped Lennon's prized Saturday Night Special into McKay's hand, "Keep an eye out though...you never know what might be waiting in the wings."

"Very reassuring," McKay snarked as he checked the clip in the weapon.

--------------

A/N:I have to ask...is this starting to get dull, at all? I mean..it's been going on for -looks at chapter number- twenty eight chapters, is there anyone out there getting bored with this universe at all?

I think I'm just being paranoid...I've been in the Atlantis fandom for one month as of today, and I'm getting just a little antsy that my presence here is getting stale. -worries-

What did you think?


	29. Flamed

Another Author's Interlude chapter, but I think this one is much funnier than the others :D Not necessary for the story, but a part of writing fanfic, none-the-less.

-----

Blink. Blink. Blink.

The cursor within the small Windows WordPad window blinked insistently, just as it had for the past fifteen minutes.

And just like the past fifteen minutes, Techie stared at it mindlessly, her mind careening off in a million different directions at once. She wasn't really thinking of anything in particular, just drifting, letting one thought shift into another, and then another without questioning the train of thought or logic in it's pattern.

If there even was a pattern at this point.

Which she doubted.

She had thoughts of a great many things, from the spires of Prague, to the pencil shavings that littered her desk, to what the next Batman movie might be like.

None of it following any kind of logical path to anyone else, since each thing seemed completely unrelated to the other, but somehow, as she sat there, contemplating that blinking blip on her monitor, her mind connected the dots quite effectively.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

She'd been trying to write.

And failing.

_Spectacularly._

Every sentence she crafted felt like it was pinned together, barely holding up, _barely_ conveying the ideas she was trying to get across. She finished half a chapter of this, and half a chapter of that, and then deleted them all, hating them for feeling inferior to everything else she'd ever done. None of them were funny, all of them were trying to become angst against her will and she simply despised them for it.

So now, she sat here, just staring at the cursor, letting her mind float away as her eyes unfocused.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

God this _sucked_.

Techie knew why she was suddenly so damned insecure about everything.

She'd received her first flame today.

Not a constructive review, not a pat on the back, not even good natured teasing, a full out, creativity crushing, ego flattening _flame_.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

Techie now understood why they were called 'flames'. They really _did_ burn.

She'd never gotten one like this before. Oh she'd been insulted before, to be sure, that was nothing new, but usually she could just shrug it off...but this...

This just hurt.

An anonymous review had been left for her that went on for close to a page about this, that and the other thing that was wrong with her stories. Even going so far as to insult her pen name, her choice of vernacular and her author's notes.

She'd read and reread the review several times and then reread all her own stories as self doubt tried to set in.

And set in it did.

It set in, burrowed it's way under her skin and made camp, intent on staying for the duration.

She'd spent part of the early morning hours in her Sock Monkey pajamas, burrowed under her quilt, consoling herself with chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and comic books while her Depressed playlist piped through her headphones, filling her head with such songs as 'Memory' (from Cats, naturally), 'Try To Remember' (from the Fantasticks), 'Guilty' (The Blues Brothers version, she wouldn't have owned any other) and 'Nights In White Satin'.

It might not have seemed like the most productive course of action, but hell, there was no combating the depression, she _knew_ that. It was just a matter of embracing it while it was here, and letting it pass in it's own time, like it always did.

And so help her God, if Bones suggested over Yahoo! IM that it was PMS _one_ more time, she was going to climb on a plane, fly out to Oregon and castrate him. Her fear of heights be damned.

The depression passed somewhat after an hour or two, and just as the sun was coming up, she reemerged from her quilted cocoon, ready to give this so-called 'life' thing a shot again...right after she deleted that damned review, of course.

She'd been broody for most of the day, and almost everyone in her general vicinity gave her a wide berth. Knowing that messing with Techie when she was depressed meant certain death, or at the very least, severe emotional injury and/or physical maiming.

So, after doing all those nice little responsible adult duties that she had, like running errands and cleaning the apartment, she had parked it in front of her computer, opened up WordPad and waited.

Fingers poised over the keys, ready to type out any thought that crossed her mind and even came close to creative.

Instead, she had ended up staring at the cursor...

Which was even less constructive than curling up in a quilt with some Ben And Jerry's while rereading 'World Without A Superman' for the hundredth time.

Even when her screensaver activated, a scrolling marquee which announced 'FIGHT THE FUTURE!', she remained staring blankly at the screen.

Only when a sunflower seed bounced off her glasses did she finally come out of it.

"Huh?"

She looked up to see her fifteen year old cousin, with a bag of sunflower seeds in her hand, bright blue Mohawk standing at attention, standing in her bedroom doorway.

" 'Bout time you came out of it, TechTech."

Techie's eyes rolled of their own accord...did no one use her name anymore? Geez, you'd think she'd been named Techie at birth or something, as often as she was introduced as 'Techie' or more recently, 'TechTech'. Although, now that Techie thought about it, she called her cousin Frost instead of using _her_ first name, so it was only fair in this instance.

"I've been standing here for the past five minutes."

"Really? And I didn't notice you? You must be positively crushed..."

"I am. I don't think you love me anymore, TechTech," Frost bounded into the room and flopped down on Techie's bed.

"You don't think I love you anymore? Why Frost, you cut me to the quick. Really, this is just...ouch, I'm really hurt, I don't think I'll be able to recover. I might need therapy to get over this particular emotional trauma."

The younger girl rolled her eyes and popped another sunflower seed in her mouth as she rolled over onto her stomach on Techie's bed, spilling a few seeds on the carpet.

"Hey, watch it there...I just vacuumed in here."

"You...vacuumed..._**you**.._._vacuumed_. Who are you and what have you done with my cousin?"

Techie's left eyebrow lifted.

"I hate it when you do that, stop it."

The corner of Techie's mouth quirked up. "What?" She asked innocently.

"That one eyebrow lifting thing," Frost wiggled a finger at the offending body part, "It drives me nuts."

"I know it." Techie wiggled her left eyebrow just to annoy the girl on her bed, "I cope with the mohawk, you gotta deal with the eyebrow."

Techie moved her mouse, removing the screensaver from her screen and was once again staring at that thrice cursed cursor in that blank WordPad document. She poised her fingers over the keys again and was about to begin typing when-

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Building a house."

"Here I thought you had to be outside for that sort of thing..."

Techie glanced at Frost, "Don't _even_ try to snark at _me_. I taught you everything you know."

Frost tossed another sunflower seed at Techie, which bounced off her forehead and landed somewhere across the room.

"Knock it off, Mulder," Techie turned back to her computer.

"Who?"

Techie's eyes shut and she sighed heavily...she still had so much to teach the kid, "Mulder...The X Files..you know, an FBI agent, kinda loopy and out of it, always dragging his partner into trouble, eats sunflower seeds...sound familiar?"

Frost gestured dismissively with one hand, "Vaguely."

Techie gave Frost a glare that would have sent someone else running for cover. Frost however, just grinned.

"What're you doing here, by the way."

"I was bored."

"So, I'm the entertainment committee now, am I?"

"Yup." Frost popped a sunflower seed in her mouth and offered some to her cousin, who waved off the bag, "You wanna hit the arcade later?"

Techie shrugged, "I dunno. I'm kinda running low on cash...you know, what with things like rent and food taking up every cent."

"That's alright," Frost grinned as she pulled a bunch of dollar bills out of her hoodie pocket, "I'm buyin' this time."

"Dear God...you're paying for something? Be still my beating heart."

Frost rolled her eyes again, but Techie pressed on, "Where'd you get it?" she asked suspiciously.

Frost tilted her head and started to speak, "Well, I-"

Techie threw her hands in the air and answered her own question, "My God, you panhandled again, didn't you?"

Frost directed her gaze to the sunflower seed bag, "Well...yeah."

Techie sighed and shut her eyes.

"I mean, mom won't give me any money, since she doesn't want me to use it to get on the bus and come see you, and since I'm not old enough to get a job..."

Techie drummed her fingers on her desk and rested one hand under her chin, "It's not safe to do that, you know. I've lived in the city my whole life, you've only just moved here from the boonies. I know how dangerous it is, and you should listen to me. I've _told_ you that."

"Yes...repeatedly. You are _such_ a mom."

Frost only barely ducked out of the way as a beanie baby sailed past her head.

"Your aim sucks," she teased.

The next stuffed animal hit it's mark, konking Frost between the eyes.

"Never mind."

"I don't want you to do that again..._promise_ me you won't panhandle anymore."

Frost screwed up her face, "Alright, _fine_."

Techie nodded before she once more turned back to her computer. Frost wandered over to her CD player and flipped through the stack of CDs next to it.

Techie started typing quickly, fingers flying over the keys as she spoke to her cousin, "Hey Frost? Have you still got that one-"

"Nope. Returned it to the library. I got her follow up CD though."

"I wish you wouldn't do that, it's-"

"It is _not_ annoying."

"Yes, yes it is. I often forget what it's like to-"

"Finish your own sentences?"

"Yes!"

Frost grinned as she continued flipping through the CDs. Several minutes passed in silence, while she sorted through the stack, and Techie typed. Without looking up from what she was doing, the younger girl spoke, "Alright, what's the matter..."

Techie paused for half a second, "What makes you think there's something the matter?"

"You're giving off...I dunno...waves...vibes. What's wrong?"

Techie made a face and reluctantly groused, "I got a flame today. A nasty one. Been kinda depressed about it all day."

"Lemme see."

The woman at her computer pulled up her email account and opened the letter, while Frost read over her shoulder.

"Wow. Want me to stab 'em with a spork?"

"I don't think that'll be necessary, no. I'm ok, I just..."

"Fuck 'em."

Techie looked up at Frost and frowned, "You're so articulate...really, it does me proud to hear you use such vulgarity. You're too young to swear."

"And we're back to the mom thing again."

"Well, _someone_ has to do it."

"Look, this guy is just...dude, he did this anonymously, geez, what a chicken. He's obviously just jealous or whatever, forget it." Frost snapped up Techie's mouse and clicked the back button, bringing up the list of the other emails, "Look at all these _good_ reviews. That one was just an..um..what's it called? An omelet?"

Techie laughed for the first time all day, "Do you mean an anomaly?"

"Yeah, that." She patted Techie on the shoulder, "Ignore it." She grinned again, "C'mon, a few mind numbing hours of House Of The Dead will make you feel better." She tugged at Techie's shirt collar, effectively pulling her out of her funk.

"Yeah...alright..." Techie got out of her chair and snatched up her keys and wallet, "But only an hour, and no Voodoo juice...last time, my heart was pumping so hard I thought it was gonna thump right out of my chest. I don't know why I let you talk me into this stuff..."

Frost just grinned and fell into step next to Techie as they started for the door.

"Hey, TechTech?"

"Yeah?"

"What was Mulder's partner's name?"

"Scully...why?"

"No reason...Scully."

Techie slapped herself in the forehead, "What _have_ I started..."

Just what she needed, _another_ nickname.

-------------

A/N:Yes...we really do talk like that. Yes, she really does eat sunflower seeds like that, and she does toss them at me on a regular basis. Yes, we _do_ finish each others sentences, so much so that it creeps people out...

Not as much as what I like to call our 'Wordless conversations' though, where we just look at each other and know from a head tilt or eye narrowing what the other is suggesting and respond accordingly.

Anyway! I got my first real flame today (which I did delete -makes a face-), so I had to work through it, since flames are part of the writing process too. I really am trying to cover all the aspects of writing fanfic, and hopefully this wasn't too boring or whatnot. Back to the gang's regularly scheduled adventures next chapter, I promise!

Oh, and for those not in the know, Voodoo juice is like a hyper concentrated kool-aid drink that's chock full of sugar and _occasionally_ caffeine in large doses, and served at raves. Seriously, it's not for the weak of heart.


	30. Evil Cliffy MUAHA!

Lennon had passed out again a few minutes after the other two Busters left. She deserved a nap, she had reasoned to herself beforehand, she really _had_ been through hell today, and an hour or so of shut eye did sound incredibly enticing. So, she gave in and let sweet sleep take her.

Curiosity killed the cat. Or at least that's how the saying goes. McKay, even though he might not have known it, was in serious danger of becoming _that_ cat.

After Charlotte and Dawn had left to take care of the Sue Blooms, he had sat in silence in his quarters, watching the unconscious woman on his bed.

Wow. An unconscious woman on McKay's bed...picture _that_.

McKay's eyes kept flicking to the huge pack Lennon carried that was sitting next to the entryway, and it quickly began to bother him that he didn't know what was inside it.

It wasn't anything particularly spectacular to look at, standard military issue, rather worn at the seams and kind of bulky, but it was quickly becoming McKay's own personal Pandora's box.

He was fast growing restless with nothing to do, and no one to talk to.

Although, considering the alternative...well, he wasn't entirely certain that he wanted to entertain thoughts of the kinds of conversation that Lennon would treat him to.

He still had quite a few questions about the logic and science of this plot, which came with the territory of being a physicist, and although Charlotte had given him a quick run down of what was happening, it really wasn't _enough._

He wanted details. He wanted to know it all...the inner workings of this, that and the other. His thirst for knowledge was overriding his common sense, as it often does with men of science.

So now, here he sat, with Lennon's gun clutched in his hand, wondering. His left foot was tapping nervously against the ground, as his eyes flitted between the pack, the door, and Lennon.

Something told him that the answers he wanted were in that knapsack. Granted, there was no solid _proof_ of that, but really, where else would they be? There had to be _something_ in that gargantuan thing.

And it _was_ gargantuan.

He glanced nervously from Lennon, to the pack and back again, wondering if he should take the chance. She didn't seem the type that would appreciate that sort of invasion of privacy, but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her right?

Or more importantly, what she didn't know wouldn't hurt _him_, which was his real concern.

This curiosity was like an itch that he just couldn't reach and it was driving him nuts. He really _had_ to know.

If he was going to do it, he reasoned, he'd better do it soon. Especially since the other two Busters would be back soon and Lennon might wake up any minute.

With that inescapable bit of logic in mind, he decided to take the plunge and practically dashed to the object in question.

He tried to lift it, thinking it couldn't weigh more than ten or fifteen pounds, but found it must have weighed at least _fifty_.

He might have been able to think of it's weight in terms of kilos, but alas, the author is terrible with metrics.

So, instead of picking it up, he knelt down next to it, unbuckled the silver fasteners which kept it closed and flipped the top open.

The thing was so crammed full of junk he couldn't see the bottom...if there even _was_ a bottom, that is.

He glanced up at Lennon once more. She hadn't moved, so he began rifling through the items in the pack as quietly as possible.

Dynamite was the very first thing he encountered in the pack. Well, there was no real surprise there, she certainly _looked_ like the type who kept explosives on hand. Some C-4, a funky looking dagger, a small cross bow, and lots of ammunition rounds for various types of firearms were in there as well.

Good God, the woman was a walking armory.

Several syringes and lots of little bottles filled with different colored liquids, each of them labeled for different purposes were next. He didn't even have to read the label on the purple one to know what _it_ did. After witnessing it's effects on Beckett, it was pretty obvious the stuff was a type of elephant tranquilizer, since nothing else really would have taken him down so easily.

In addition to the purple stuff, there were several bottles filled with green, black, electric blue and orange liquids; Labeled 'Anti Sue Spore', 'Slash Bunny Antidote', 'Song Fic Relief' and 'Anti Whumpage', respectively.

He shoved the bottles back in the pack and continued sifting through it's contents, looking back up at Lennon every few seconds, just to make sure she hadn't stirred.

He came across a passport with a bad photo on it in which Lennon looked like she was wincing, which had stamps on it from different locales that ranged from Timbuktu, to Palau Palau.

There were also about a dozen, well made, fake IDs, tags and badges. They were from every conceivable government agency from all over the world; The FBI, the CIA, Scotland Yard, and the French Foreign Legion among others, each bearing a different alias.

There were two visitor badges that he recognized as well. One from the SGC and one from Area Fifty One. And was that-

He shook his head, wondering if maybe he was hallucinating due to the bad blow to the head he'd taken from Carson's fist…

Really, what else could explain the fact that there was a Starfleet Insignia Communicator in this chick's pack? He _must_ have been seeing things.

Lennon shifted suddenly in her sleep with a grumble, rolling over on her side with her back to McKay.

His heart had leapt into his throat when she moved, fearing he might be caught and he stopped poking around in the bag momentarily. His breathing quickened as he watched Lennon for any signs that she might be conscious.

After a few quiet minutes of observation, he concluded that she was still asleep and rummaged through the pack with renewed purpose and speed, knowing that she might awaken at any moment.

Twelve sided dice? Who knew she played D&D? And a Dungeon Master's manual and folder as well…weird.

A rubber chicken...there was a rubber chicken in her pack? What the hell kind of professional carried a rubber chicken?

Hand cuffs, grappling hooks, rope, duct tape...

Was she trying to channel Batman?

Alcohol, gauze, paper tape…silver canisters labeled 'X-Over' that looked suspiciously like some type of grenade.

This one certainly seemed to have a thing for explosives, McKay mused.

A small black container labeled 'Acme Tunnel Paint' was under the grenades.

Acme...now _there's_ a name that inspires consumer confidence world wide.

A little rubber thing with a pull string was next, which had no label aside from a bit of manilla paper attached, which announced 'Do **NOT** pull string except in cases of extreme plot hole emergency!'.

Good grief, this stuff seemed to go on forever. It would've taken him all _day_ to look at everything. How did it all fit?

McKay's head tilted to one side as he spotted a glimmer of something shiny under a few bent photographs. Shoving the pictures aside (several which were...rather..._unusual_ to say the least) he grabbed hold of the silver thing that he had seen.

He slipped what turned out to be a long silver cylinder out of the pack. It was about the size of a standard flashlight, with a sort of deep indentation on either side of it, and a hole on one end. He frowned and pondered it for several seconds, knowing that he'd seen it somewhere before, but unable to make the connection.

He only barely contained a squeal and almost dropped it when the device activated and sent out a seemingly solid, three foot long, blue beam of light.

If he hadn't been seated already, he might have fallen over.

He was holding a Light Saber.

A real live, honest to God, Obe-Freaking-Wan-Kenobi owned one, _Light Saber_.

He swashed it through the air, the little boy inside him utterly delighted by the 'Zhoom' sound it made.

His grip on it tightened when cold metal came in contact with the back of his head. His forehead broke out in a cold sweat and he gulped noisily.

A gun barrel.

--------------

A/N: Wahaha! It was time for one of the most evil creatures in all of fanficdom, the cliffhanger! Ahaha!

Actually, this was an accidental cliffy, since I wrote this chapter and it turned into like ten pages before I knew what happened, so I decided to cut it in half. -grins evilly- Which means you won't have to wait all _that_ long for the next chapter, I just have to try and straighten out a few plot holes and dialogue problems…

Plus, I myself was getting curious about what was in that pack…


	31. Evil Cliffy Concluded!

"Nosey little bugger, aren't you?" Lennon asked as she pressed the muzzle of the gun harder into the back of Rodney's skull.

She had awakened sometime between his discovery of the rubber chicken and the crossover grenades, and had barely kept herself from jumping on McKay for his invasion of her personal space. However, she figured it was best to let him quench his curiosity for a few minutes more, so that this sort of behavior didn't repeat itself.

Besides...if he accidentally grabbed that one hand buzzer, it would have served him right...

When he'd grabbed and activated her Light Saber though...that was the last straw.

She reached around from behind him and grabbed the Light Saber, effectively shutting it off with a practiced flick of the wrist. "You're lucky I'm on your side, pal or else you'd be spitting lead right about now."

"Lenny!"

Lennon jumped and McKay felt the gun barrel twitch violently.

"DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME THAT WAY!" Lennon shouted angrily, glaring at Charlotte, who had just entered McKay's room.

Dawn came in behind Charlotte and her brows furrowed as she processed what she was seeing. It looked like Lennon was about to execute the canon.

Lennon's superior placed her hands on her hips and an expression of extreme irritation crossed her features, "Can't I leave you alone for five minutes?"

Lennon pulled the gun away from McKay's head, tucking it into the waistband of her pants, and let out a sigh, "Oh, would you relax? I wasn't gonna kill him."

"Then would you mind explaining to me why he's kneeling in front of you and you have a gun pressed to his head?" Charlotte gestured widely with both hands, which gave her the air of being both exasperated and long suffering.

"He was going through my pack," Lennon said by way of explanation, turning to glare at the back of McKay's head.

McKay had only just dared to move, once Lennon had pulled the cold metal away from his head, and had turned to look at her, not liking the angry glare that awaited him.

"And that's a reason to shoot him, is it?"

"I wasn't gonna shoot him!" Lennon replied, more than slightly upset at the insinuation, "You think after the hell I went through to _get_ him, I'd _shoot_ him?"

Charlotte lifted an eyebrow, "Yes...especially after that thing with Morris-"

"Oh!" Lennon threw her hands in the air dramatically, "One time, ONE TIME and you never let me forget! And if you remember, it's not like Fletcher didn't _live_...I only winged him!"

Charlotte crossed her arms over her chest and shifted her jaw, "Yeah, you winged him _twice_."

"He deserved it!" Lennon gave a huff, "Look, Charlie, McKay accidentally activated my Light Saber." She waved it through the air in a wide arc, reactivating it in mid-swing, "I had to keep him from hurting himself with the thing...he could've put an eye out!"

Charlotte sighed, "This from the woman who whined when she broke a nail during her first Light Saber experience."

"Well, it hurt!" The geek exclaimed.

Charlotte pointed at the Light Saber and said sternly, "Put it away."

The geek made a face before she twirled the elegant weapon, shutting it off with practiced ease once more.

Charlotte couldn't help but roll her eyes and sigh, "You are _such_ a show off."

Lennon's upper lip twitched up in amusement at her commanding officer.

"Get cleaned up and change...you can't be running around looking like _that_." Charlotte waved a hand at Lennon's shirt, which made Lennon look down at it.

She hadn't really noticed the extent of the damage when she was lying down, but now it was quite clear. "Aw hell!"

Lennon leant down, almost losing her balance in the process, snapped her pack out of McKay's grasp and held it to her chest, effectively covering the positively vulgar gap in her tee-shirt.

Charlotte jerked her head back indicating the direction of McKay's bathroom, "Go on."

Lennon made a face and muttered angrily the whole way across the room, "Damn it. Langly gave me this shirt, this is my _favorite_ shirt! Bloody hell, why is it _my_ wardrobe is the only one that gets ruined on these missions, huh? Which fashionista deities have I pissed off lately?"

With Lennon off in the bathroom (still grumbling to herself, by the way), Charlotte turned her ire on McKay, "And what _exactly_ were you doing rifling through her pack?

"What was I- what was _I_ doing? What's _she_ doing with a Light Saber?" He pointed to the doorway of his bathroom, "The science behind a Light Saber isn't even possible!"

Dawn chose this moment to speak, "But it _is_ cool."

"It's not even _theoretically_ possible, it's-well, _yeah!_ Of _course_ it's 'cool', but that doesn't explain how such a thing came to exist!"

A long, loud string of curses interrupted the conversation that was currently going on between the two Busters and McKay.

Not surprisingly, it was coming from his bathroom.

"Of all the faurblungit, facacta things to happen!-Gah! Damn it to mother-"

"LENNON!" Charlotte shouted warningly, "This is a T rated fic, remember your manners!"

There was an angry growl from the bathroom, the likes of which hasn't been heard since Lennon lost that one Diablo tourney in '99, "I got nothin' to wear! All my shirts are in tatters!"

She poked her head (and only her head) out through the bathroom doorway, "How many missions have I been on over the past nine years, Charlie? I _know_ you keep track of these things."

"Four hundred and eighty six."

"Right...right...I've gone through at _least_ that many tee-shirts in that amount of time!" She turned her shouting heavenward, "WHY ME? What did I do to deserve this? WHAT DID MY VINTAGE TEE-SHIRTS DO TO DESERVE THIS?" Lennon withdrew back into the bathroom, muttering curse words that the other occupants of McKay's room had never even heard of before nor were they likely to hear them again.

"Lenny, calm down," Charlotte began reassuringly, "I'm sure we can find you something to wear."

"I _am_ calm! You think I'm not calm? I'm cool as a cucumber! I just-" She growled again, "It's the principal of the thing!" Lennon replied, huffing, but calming down considerably, "That shirt was my favorite!"

"Dawn," Charlotte turned to the younger woman, "Have you got any spare tops in your pack?"

"Uh," Dawn slipped her pack off and started rummaging through it, "I think so...but really-"

"Charlie, are you nuts?" Lennon said, cutting Dawn off, "The beanpole's clothes wouldn't fit me if I was my _normal_ size, with this..this..Sue Spore related swelling, there's no way in _hell_ they'll fit _now_."

Dawn slipped a shirt out of her pack and eyeballed it, "She's right you know, it would be a little tight."

Dawn glanced at the shirt again and then looked at Charlotte, "Alright, a _lot._"

"Maybe I've got something you can wear-"

"Just give me a bed sheet or something, I'll make myself a bloody toga and wear it if necessary."

From somewhere, high above, a soft but insistent chanting could be heard, "_Toga, toga, toga, toga!"_

Lennon glared upwards, "Shut up you!"

"Hey, watch it now," The voice replied, louder than before, "I'll make you a blonde if you don't behave."

Lennon gaped, "You wouldn't _dare_."

A soft chuckle spilled out from the heavens, "Wouldn't I? Look at what I've _already_ put you through."

Lennon made a face, but wisely (_very_ wisely, might I add, since a certain someone had a bottle of peroxide ready and waiting for our favorite raven haired geek) shut her mouth.

During this short and rather pointless exchange between Lennon and...someone high above her who was obviously controlling everything, Charlotte had been sifting through her own pack, looking for something that might fit her teammate.

Not surprisingly, she came up empty handed. The Buster's leader sighed heavily in defeat, "It might have to be a bed sheet after all, Len. I haven't got anything."

"Oh for crying out loud!" McKay sputtered, crossing the room to his dresser, "I've got something."

The two busters looked at each other as McKay rummaged through one of the drawers of his dresser, finally withdrawing an article of clothing.

"Here, put this on." He handed one of his civilian button up shirts around the corner of the doorway, waiting for Lennon to take it and do as she had been instructed.

Now when Lennon had heard McKay say that he would have something she could wear, she almost leapt for joy. A man's shirt would do a _lot_ to hide her current...condition and she was grateful...

For about a second...before she actually laid eyes on the clothe that McKay was so _graciously_ offering.

Lennon gaped at the sight of the thing, a more horrid pattern she'd _never_ laid eyes on. It was a series of thin vertical stripes in various shades of brown, tan and camel.

She very nearly gagged.

Ugh. That toga was sounding pretty good right about now.

"Are you crazy? I'm _not_ wearing that."

"What's wrong with it?" McKay asked, getting defensive.

"It's the epitome of yuppie fashion! There is no way in hell I'm wearing _that,_ it goes against my grain."

"Yuppie fashion? At least you'll look like a normal human being and not some overgrown teenage punk rocker."

Lennon's comrades glanced at each other, both simultaneously trying to decide whether they should be amused at the fact that Lennon and McKay were arguing like an old married couple or whether they should be horribly concerned.

"A 'Normal human being'? Wearing that...that abomination constitutes normalcy?" Lennon squeaked, "If being 'normal' requires wearing something like that, I'll take being an 'Overgrown teenage punk rocker' any day. Really McKay, what did the fashion industry ever do to you to deserve such punishment?"

McKay got annoyed at her, "Oh for the love of- just put it on!"

"No! I'd rather go topless!"

Dawn and Charlotte watched with amusement as McKay's complexion flushed scarlet at the image that had no doubt crossed his mind. Lennon's prompting statement being to blame for his skin's sudden, and rather violent discoloration. The two busters looked at each other and smirked. Lennon certainly had a way with words, whether she was aware of it or not.

McKay recovered quickly enough though, "Put. It. On."

Lennon sneered, glared at the offending bit of cloth and snorted before snatching it roughly from the proffered hand.

She slid her arms through the sleeves and grumbled. Aside from the fact it was too big for her, it looked like a PTA meeting threw up on her. She buttoned it up and rolled up the sleeves, giving herself a glance in the mirror. The browns looked hideous against her subway tanned skin and black, black hair. On the up side though, the fact it was oversized did alot to hide her newly redefined curves.

God she hoped that swelling would go down soon, otherwise she would over-balance every time she bent down and end up tipping over.

She exited the bathroom, scowling at the fact that she had been forced into this ridiculous situation. Think of it. Lennon, the punk, was wearing a button down, so very white collar (figuratively of course, she would have given a pint of blood had she been lucky enough for it to be plain white and not this mess of brown) men's shirt.

McKay looked totally satisfied with his victory in the battle of wills against the geek. He thought she had _nothing_ to complain about, it looked fine.

Actually, she looked _better_ than fine. He'd always rather dreamed of a woman that shape wearing one of his shirts..

The other two busters, however, saw things quite differently.

"So help me God, if you two _ever_ tell anyone about this..." Lennon muttered as she exited the bathroom.

Dawn was having trouble keeping a straight face.

Charlotte looked like her jaw just might break from holding the laughter in. She flashed Lennon a thumbs up, her hands only slightly trembling from the suppressed chuckles, "Looks...good on you, Len."

Lennon's eyes flashed with righteous anger, "Shut up you goon. Unless you want that photo I have of you from our mission to the Hercules universe to start circulating around Head Quarters."

Dawn too was having trouble keeping the mirth from her tone. She didn't really want to incite the geek's wrath but there was just something about seeing the nonconformist dressed in something so _yuppie_ that tickled her funny bone.

"No, really Lennon," the stringy haired blonde said, her facial muscles seeming to spasm as she tried to push down the nasty case of the giggles that was trying to take over, "You look...you look nice."

Lennon glared at her two companions with such strength that if looks had been able to kill, there was no doubt in McKay's mind that the two would have been struck dead in nanoseconds.

Hell, their corpses would have most likely been left smoking like burnt toast.

If there was anything left of the corpses, of course.

"If you tell _anyone_ about this, I swear to God you won't be able to get far enough away." Lennon flipped her hair haughtily as she shrugged into her pack, only slightly wobbling with the effort, "Let's get out of here. We've got work to do."

-------------------

A/N:Ah! And thus ends the Buster's down time! We'll get to more action packed things next chapter, I just wanted these scenes in here sooooo badly. Alright, it took forever to get all the dialogue problems straightened out with this chapter, especially since I didn't have any time today and I'm like..._so_ tired right now, but I got it done, and it works just the way I wanted it to.

And btw..breaking a nail on a Light Saber really _does_ hurt.

_I_ broke a nail during a Light Saber battle...I was in the middle of a store with Frost when we each snapped up a toy Light Saber from a display and waged an epic battle of wills among the action figures. It went something like this-

Techie:-swings at Frost-Come Luke, -heavy breathing- come over to the dark side...you will be granted unlimited power over the force..._and_ we have pizza rolls.

Frost: No! -counters- I will be loyal to Master Yoda!

Techie: Come on, if Yoda loved you, he'd want you to have the pepperoni pizza rolls of absolute power!

Frost: Your delicious pizza rolls of corruption will not sway my decision! I am a Jedi!

Techie: Jedi? Ha! The Jedi are a dead race! You _will_ join the dark side! -wheeze-

Frost: Never!

-insert several impressive Saber swings and clashes here complete with Techie and Frost created sound effects-

Techie: -swings Light Saber in a wide arc and almost clips Frost in the middle with it- ARG! FOILED AGAIN!

Frost: Ha ha! -whack-

Techie: You will-OW!

Frost: What?

Techie: Time out...I broke a nail.

Frost: -interested- Really? Did it hurt?

Techie: Yes...hence the 'OW!' part of my last sentence.

I'll bet you a hundred bucks I'm the only girl in the history of the world to have broken a nail on a Light Saber.

C'mon, you _know_ you wanna party with _me_ lol.

Alright...now to go read my reviews and story alerts and whatnot -yawn- you know..before I pass out.


	32. Any Title Would Spoil It

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue was getting upset that she hadn't made an appearance in almost three chapters, and an upset Sue is something you'll want to avoid. So now, the queen of the Atlantis Sues was sitting on her throne, impatiently drumming her fingers on one of her arm rests, waiting.

Those Busters had managed to foil her plan...well, no matter, she had others in place.

Granted, it would have been nice to have turned one of _them_ into one of _her_ kind, poetic justice and all like that, but she would take what she could get.

One of Ashley's many subjects approached her with a tablet PC in hand, "Your Highness, we're ready to put phase two into effect."

Ashley's eyes lit up, sparkling at hearing those ten-

Wait...let me count...ok, yeah it's ten.

Yes, her eyes sparkled at hearing those ten magical little words.

"Excellent," Ashley purred, tenting her fingers under her chin, "_Excellent_."

----------------------

The three Anti Busters had been traveling along at a steady pace, ignoring the chaos that surrounded them which had been caused by the bunnies, focusing instead on their mission.

To wipe out their Bunny Buster counterparts.

Anti Lennon held a delicate piece of technology in one hand, taking readings and making notations. It seemed that the love of tech was the one thing that was common between the two Lennons who were currently inhabiting Atlantis. "It looks like they've already wiped out close to a quarter of the bunny population," She sighed.

"Impossible," Anti Charlotte replied, "They couldn't have done that all on their own."

Anti Lennon shoved the view screen in front of Charlotte's face, "Look. Sectors one through fourteen are completely clear, as are sectors sixty through eighty."

Anti Madison shifted her pack, "How did they manage to clear out two sections so far apart in such a short amount of time?"

The pastel striped bunny on Lennon's shoulder twitched it's nose as Lennon thought aloud, "I'm not certain, but they did it none-the-less. Are you sure our Intel on these three is correct, Walker?"

"Positive, Fisk," Anti Charlotte replied in a clipped tone, "Their methods are unorthodox, but effective. No one at ABBTF has ever seen the likes of them before, but I'm confident we can handle them."

Anti Madison smirked wickedly, "I call the newb. You two can wipe out...yourselves."

Anti Lennon's eyes twinkled mischievously, "Why thank you, and here I was going to ask for permission to wipe out that abomination."

Alright, so maybe a love of technology _and_ a love of snark is what the two Lennons had in common

The three Antis stepped into a transporter, Anti Lennon hitting a button inside which would take them closer to where the real busters were.

--------------------

The four people traveling away from McKay's quarters all piled inside a transporter and Lennon hit the button.

She gave an involuntary shudder, not knowing that halfway across the city, her double was doing the _exact_ same thing that she was.

Dawn tilted her head at the geek, "What's the matter, Lenny?"

Lennon shuddered again, "Felt like someone walked over my grave."

------------------

Cupcake wobbled along the corridors of Atlantis, having discarded her now ammunitionless AK-47 in favor of a sawed off shotgun.

It wasn't an elegant weapon, but if the plot bunny gore she left in her wake was any indication, it was pretty damn effective.

Whether she realized it or not, the Muse was doing a really good job of assisting the Busters in their plight by wiping out bunnies left and right.

If she kept up this pace, there'd be another ten sectors cleared by nightfall, which would cut an impressive amount of time off Lennon's estimations of how long the three of them would be stuck there.

-----------------

Bimbo!Weir wandered along, instinctively knowing which way the 'real' Lennon had gone.

She carried a bazooka, which made it quite uncomfortable to skip along, so instead, she managed to sway her hips from side to side cartoonishly as she approached the corridor that led to the transporter from which the three Busters and her Rodney would be exiting from any minute.

---------------

"Like someone walked over your grave?" Dawn asked, "Isn't that a sign of-"

"Don't say it, Dawn," Lennon warned, "I _refuse_ to think that I've got a double wandering around the city."

The doors to the transporter slipped open and the four of them filed out, Charlotte in front again, with McKay behind her and Lennon and Dawn on either side of him.

"Hey, Lennon, where are you going to want to set up the Restoration Device?"

"Huh? Why are you asking me that _now_, Dawn?" Lennon asked, "It's not like we're anywhere near ready to do it."

Dawn shrugged, "Just curious."

_FEWOOM!_

A jet stream of smoke whizzed through the air over the heads of the four and Charlotte's eyes grew wide, "Tell me that wasn't what I think it was..."

**BOOM!**

A huge explosion erupted behind the Busters, confirming Charlotte's suspicions as the resulting shockwave knocked them all to the ground and the corridor filled with smoke.

"Roooooodneeeeey!"

McKay's face broke out in an expression of pure panic as Bimbo!Weir wandered into view, Bazooka held on her shoulder, "Rodney Bear, come out, come out, wherever you aaaare!"

Lennon was coughing, "Great, just great!" She wheezed a few times, "A homicidal and heavily armed Bimbo, just what we need!"

The Bimbo!Weir's eyes flashed, "_You!"_ She shifted the Bazooka so that it was now aiming directly at Lennon, "You get away from my cuddle bunny!"

Lennon squeaked and got to her feet, "Lady, you're welcome to him! I don't want him!"

Weir narrowed her eyes suspiciously, "And why not? What _exactly_ is wrong with My Rodney Bear? Is he not good enough for you?" The Bimbo fired another shot, thankfully missing Lennon and the others, but only by scant inches. The round from the Bazooka ended up hitting the wall directly behind them, spraying debris and dust everywhere as it hit, once again knocking them to the ground, this time Lennon landing quite uncomfortably half on Dawn's back and half on McKay's.

Weir saw Lennon's contact with her cuddle bunny as a direct violation of her claim on him, and let out a roar, abandoning the bazooka in favor of launching herself at Lennon and grabbing hold of her hair.

"OW! AH!" Lennon rolled over, her pack sliding off her shoulders as she did so, and tried to claw at Weir, "Get her off me!"

The Bimbo slapped Lennon around a few times, before grabbing her by the collar and dragging her up off the floor.

It was then that she noticed what Lennon was wearing...

One of _her_ Rodney's shirts!

This strengthened her resolve and she began tearing at Lennon's hair more forcefully, "You trollop! You tramp! You tart!"

Lennon screamed and reached for Weir's hair, grabbing hold of it and giving several sharp tugs while digging into the scalp with the short fingernails of her other hand, "Let go of me you nutbar!"

They scuffled for a few minutes, clawing at each other violently, tearing at each other's clothes and leaving deep claw marks in whatever bare flesh they could reach, finally ending up back on the floor once more.

From somewhere, the sound effect of two cats fighting rang out, hissing and meowing adding to the shouts of the two women.

Charlotte and Dawn had gotten to their feet a few seconds before, each of them with their guns drawn, but they couldn't get a clear shot, what with the two women struggling and rolling all over each other.

"Hold still, Lennon!" Charlotte shouted, her gun bobbing and weaving as she tried to aim properly at the Bimbo.

"What, so she can tear my throat out easier? OW!" Weir's fingernails scraped across Lennon's left cheek, leaving four identical raised welts in their wake.

Weir screamed as one of the geek's fists made contact with her face.

"Oh, so you wanna fight dirty, do you?" Weir jabbed a finger at one of Lennon's eye sockets and Lennon let out a howl.

"Ow! Why you little-" Lennon grabbed Weir's hair so hard she tore several strands of it out, "Get off!"

The Bimbo somehow gained the upper hand, dragged Lennon up off the ground by the throat and wrapped her arm around her neck, using her as a human shield while effectively cutting off her air supply.

Her eyes were wild as Lennon continued to struggle, clawing at Bimbo!Weir's arm, leaving marks with the force of her efforts.

Weir made a triumphant sound, seeing that the other two busters couldn't possibly risk taking a shot at her without hitting their teammate.

"Shoot her!" Lennon said, her voice coming out in a sickly croak as her windpipe was crushed, "SHOOT HER!"

"I can't!" Charlotte shouted desperately, "I might hit you!"

Someone in the hallway cleared their throat loudly.

"Elizabeth. Let her go."

Charlotte and Dawn turned to see McKay standing once again, looking as put together as he possibly could while still seeming like he might faint at any moment.

Oh, I'm sorry...not faint, _pass out_.

Bimbo!Weir looked horrified, "You want me to let her go? Rodneykins, how could you!"

Rodneykins...I mean, uh..._McKay_ straightened up a bit, "Do as I say, Elizabeth."

Bimbo!Weir's eyes flashed with anger and envy, "You want _her_ instead of me?" She asked incredulously, tightening her grip on Lennon's throat, thus causing the geek's eyes to roll back in her head, "I'm not going to be _ignored_ Rodney!"

"No, no, Lizzie," McKay barely managed not to wince at the informal nickname he used in relation to his boss, as he held out his arms welcomingly, "You're the only one for me."

Bimbo!Weir squealed with delight, releasing Lennon (who landed on her knees with a graceless plop) and throwing herself at McKay, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck as she showered him with kisses and they both landed on the ground.

Charlotte and Dawn rushed to Lennon, who was clutching her throat with both hands and coughing, trying to regain her senses after such severe oxygen deprivation.

"Lenny! Are you-"

"I'm fine. I'm-" Lennon's eyes grew wide suddenly and Dawn and Charlotte followed her gaze.

McKay was moving the now unconscious form of Elizabeth Weir off himself. Lennon's eyes were tearing up, but she saw the slightest glimmer of something silver and sharp in McKay's right hand.

It was a syringe...which still held the slightest amount of purple liquid in it.

Charlotte, Dawn and Lennon gaped at him for a moment before they looked at each other and then back at McKay.

The corner of Charlotte's mouth turned upwards slightly, making her look pleasantly surprised, "Nicely done."

Lennon coughed a few more times and Dawn gently rubbed her back, trying to soothe her, "You ok?"

Lennon waved one hand dismissively while gesturing at Weir with the other, "Better than she is, I'll wager."

---------------------------

A/N:I have good news and I have bad news...which would you like first?

Bad news it is.

Bad News:I'm losing my unlimited internet service o.o...I can't afford it anymore. I have to call my ISP tomorrow and cancel my service; It'll be gone by the end of the month.

Good news: I have ten hours of free internet coming to me per month, so I'll still be able to update every so often. However, with such limited time, I won't be able to reply to every single review individually, which I usually do. This is NOT permanent, I swear to you. I'll be back with unlimited service again soon, I promise. I have to use the time I'll be getting wisely though, so I'll only be able to update, look at my messages and _possibly_ reply to my email.

At least until I figure out how to bypass that pesky firewall that netzero has in place...

Oh, one last thing, I wanted to know where you guys would like to see this story go from here, since I'm sorta scraping the bottom of the proverbial barrel of ideas.

Well, not _completely_...if I ever ran out of ideas completely I'd probably have to shoot myself...but I'm still curious as to what _you_ would like to see...and do you guys mind the fact that these chapters seem to get longer and longer? Or am I the only one worried about that...


	33. The First Watch

Charlotte had tried to help Lennon off the ground, but had been treated to several curses and assurances that she was perfectly capable of getting up on her own, and if she ever got into such a state that she _couldn't_, she would retire from the APBA and happily live out the rest of her days in Boca playing canasta with a bunch of old biddies.

Lennon's commanding officer had to laugh at that image...Lennon Fisk, Dungeon Master and Diablo tournament participant, sitting in a flowered Muumuu with a group of old women, playing cards.

Probably scamming them all out of their bingo money as well, knowing Lenny.

It took all the strength Charlotte had to avoid falling on the ground laughing at the thought of it.

After Lennon had gotten to her feet (with much grumbling and griping), Dawn and Charlotte went to gather up the Bimbo and put her somewhere for safe keeping.

Lennon, meanwhile, went to McKay and offered him her hand, pulling him up off the ground.

For half a second her head spun with a strange sort of deja vu. Like she'd done this exact same thing before, but couldn't remember when.

McKay had felt it as well. The two of them left their hands clasped for half a moment longer than was really necessary as they tried to process the shared feeling of familiarity.

They released each other, both of them reacting as though scalded by the contact.

Dawn and Charlotte, who by this time had Weir up off the ground, one of them holding either end of her, didn't miss the moment of weirdness that passed between their teammate and the canon. They looked at each other with identical expressions of concern etched on their faces.

This was suspicious...

------------------------

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue was currently throwing the mother of all temper tantrums.

And no amount of glaring or swearing at the author could make her find another adjective to describe the absolute fit that the Queen Sue was having.

They had made it so simple for the Bimbo! That bazooka should have been _more_ than enough to wipe those three off the face of the planet, but nooooo...

Obviously, _someone_ was looking out for them!

Not fair, not fair, not fair!

Ashley chucked her view screen across the room once more, hitting the very same Sue in the head that she had the last time, knocking her out cold.

Ashley let out a scream of frustration. Of _course_ those three simply _had_ to hook up with the smartest canon available in the fandom, didn't they?

And of _course_ he _had_ to be the sort who was into quick thinking in times of crisis.

Which _naturally_ served to prove her other plans completely moot.

Just dandy.

-----------------------

A small storage room of sorts somewhere in sector nineteen was being turned into makeshift sleeping quarters shortly after the altercation with the Bimbo!Weir.

After McKay had knocked her out and her vitals were checked, she had been dragged off and unceremoniously dumped in a closet somewhere.

Not the most dignified means of disposing of her, but really, until the restoration process was completed there wasn't any other option left open for the affected canons that they kept running across...

The three busters were exhausted, as was McKay, and a few hours of sleep were welcomed with open arms.

"I'll take the first watch."

Lennon gave the youngest buster the slightest glare as she laid her pack against one of the walls of the storage room, "I _always_ take the first watch, Dawn. Today is no different."

Dawn looked at Lennon with a small tilt of the head, "You mean to tell me after everything you've been through today you want to take the first watch?"

Lennon looked upwards momentarily as she thought, "Well...no..I mean...yeah. It's just that I've _always_ taken the first watch. It's like tradition."

"Alright...if you want to stay up a few more hours, be my guest. I just assumed you'd want to sleep."

"Never assume anything in relation to Lenny, Dawn. I figured that out early on in our relationship." Charlotte laid her own pack on the ground, "A couple of hours a piece should be alright, don't you think?"

Lennon shrugged as she plopped down on the ground, leaning against her pack, "Yeah. Two hours three quarters a piece. The sun will be up by then and we can get back to work."

The geek withdrew her weapon from the waistband of her pants as she brought her knees up close to her chest and leaned against the wall.

She set the alarm on her watch (her _secondary_ watch of course, since the other had recently been broken) for two and a half hours and with a nod to the other occupants of the room, began her shift.

-----------------

A redheaded Sue in a most becoming shade of periwinkle blue cautiously approached her queen with another tablet PC in hand, "Your highness?"

"What?" Ashley snapped as she grabbed up the small piece of tech.

Her gorgeous, sparkling eyes grew wide and she looked back up at the redhead, "Is this what I think it is?" she asked, her voice lilting once more at the possibilities presented by this new Intel.

The redhead nodded, her perfectly straight, sleek hair flipping slightly, "Yes, Your Majesty."

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue, had she been someone like you or I, would have whooped and hollered in celebration.

Being a Sue, however, her reaction was slightly more refined.

She did several cartwheels and back flips across her throne room.

--------------------

Soft snoring echoed around the small room, coming from Charlotte, most likely, as Lennon rummaged around in her pack. McKay had fallen asleep first, despite his protests that he couldn't _possibly_ sleep on the ground, what with his sensitive back and all, and Dawn and Charlotte had followed soon after.

As long as Lennon was up, she figured she might as well work. She had quite a bit of technology to worry about setting up in the next few days, and Lennon had an almost compulsive habit of checking on the equipment she carried during her down time.

The Restoration Device, a helmet of sorts with several wires leading off it in several different directions, was in fine form. Absolutely nothing wrong with it.

It's power source, on the other hand...

Lennon barely contained a curse.

The power pack had been damaged during one of her many altercations during the day.

Damn it.

Now she'd have to find another adequate source of power that was compatible with her tech. Fantabulous.

On the bright side, she had to consider the fact that they were on a planet where you couldn't take a single step without stumbling on a piece of advanced technology, so the chances of her finding something that _would_ work were pretty good.

Lennon hit the button on the side of her watch and saw that only an hour had passed.

---------------------

"There are Antis in Atlantis!" The Queen Sue said in a sing-song voice, "Oh, I couldn't have planned this better!"

Ashley pointed at one of her subjects, a brunette with unnaturally blue eyes, "Andrea! Go forth and seek the Antis! An alliance is in order!"

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue grinned, her perfect, straight, white teeth gleaming as her bright eyes shone.

Perfect...simply _perfect_.

--------------------

Another twenty minutes passed and Lennon was getting dreadfully bored.

She rather wished she'd brought her old game boy pocket along. Nothing quite like Mario to keep a girl company when bored stiff.

Actually, bored stiff was a pretty good approximation of how she was feeling right now...her whole body ached and protested the abuse it had endured throughout the day.

And this sitting up business was no fun at all...

Giving her a bit of a back ache, actually.

Maybe she should have allowed Dawn to have the first shift?

Nah...the newb needed to learn the order of things, just in case she remained a permanent fixture on the team.

Lennon scratched at her left calf absently. For some reason, it was itchy all of the sudden.

Well, no, not all of the sudden. It seemed to have started since she first came in contact with the canon, and it strengthened after she had helped him up off the ground before.

Maybe it was an allergic reaction to McKay?

McKay...something about that name bothered her, like she'd heard it before but couldn't remember from where.

Well, of course, she'd heard it before. She'd read his personnel file, after all...

Although, she hadn't really given it much more than a glance.

She scratched her leg again...it was itching like crazy, almost like an old-

No, that was impossible. Surely it was the _other_ leg.

She made a quick mental tally of all the injuries she'd sustained over those four hundred and eighty six missions that involved her left calf.

Only one of which, stuck out in her mind.

Lennon glanced at the sleeping canon, down at the shirt she was wearing and then at her calf, realization hitting _hard_.

It itched just like an old Ship Bunny arrow wound.

She shook her head against the thought, it was impossible, wasn't it? That was something like three or four years ago, and that canon was from a completely different 'verse! The only way it was even remotely possible was if there was a spin off involved and-

Lennon barely stifled a scream as she stared at the canon in a mixture of horror and disbelief.

McKay. Doctor Rodney McKay. _Rodney_. She'd run into him in the Stargate: SG1 universe some four years before on a simple recon mission gone awry.

She was hit by a shipper bunny's arrow and-

Oh God. He was 'The One'.

'The One' she'd accidentally gotten herself shipped with all those years ago.

'The One' whose memory she had decimated with the venom of an Amnesia Bunny so that he would forget ever meeting her and now they were going to-

Oy gavalt, now they were going to use the Restoration Device on him in order to bring Atlantis and all the canons back to it's original state, wiping out all trace of the Plot Bunnies' effects which meant-

She swore under her breath.

Which meant that _his_ memories that she had altered with that Amnesia Bunny would be restored as well.

Damn it.

He would remember _everything_ that had happened between the two of them as a result of the shipper bunny's arrow. Every embarrassing detail.

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

----------------------

A/N:Doot doot doo. Yay, a new chappy with two more planned out and coming very _very _ soon, and the masses rejoice!

-waits for the rejoicing of the masses-

...Well? REJOICE ALREADY! -shakes fist-


	34. The Second Watch Part One

One thing. Several of you were surprised at the turn of events in the last chapter, regarding the Lennon/McKay thing.

This leads me to the conclusion that you haven't read NenyaVilyaNenya's story 'The Meeting Of Minds: Lennon And McKay', even though I've mentioned/pimped it several times.

SHAME ON YOU! Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point!

Nenya's brilliant story is now considered official accepted canon history for my Busters characters, and if you don't read it, you're missing out. She's kept my beloved busters in character and written them just beautifully, making me jealous with her talents and causing me to double over and fall off my chair laughing numerous times.

Seriously, I have some really nasty bruises now.

It's one of the best things _I_ have ever, ever, **EVER** read.

And if you've known me for more than six seconds, you _know_ how damn picky **I** am.

I _know_ it sounds dreadful to try and shame you all into reading it, but really, I wouldn't be recommending the tale if I didn't wholeheartedly endorse the thing. In fact, I'm rather sad it's coming to an end soon -cries-.

Actually, just between you and I -wink- I intend to try and flatter her into writing a sequel/follow-up -grins wolfishly-

Did I just say that out loud? Oops. -giggles in an evil Sue-ish manner-

No, no. I wouldn't want to try and force Nenya into something if she doesn't wanna do it...that would be too Sue-ish of me.

ANYWAY! Back on point.

Go read and review 'The Meeting Of Minds: Lennon and McKay' by NenyaVilyaNenya or I shall smite thee with my mighty writing utensils of doom! -brandishes number two pencils and sharp, fine point pilot pens at readers-

-------------------------

The feeling that someone is watching you in your sleep is one of the most uncomfortable that one can experience.

And it was a feeling that Charlotte Walker was currently going through as she lay on the ground of the storage room with her eyes shut.

She didn't _have_ to open her eyes to know that someone was watching her, she just _knew_.

She didn't even shift as she spoke softly but abruptly, "What is it Lennon?"

Charlotte heard Lennon's sneakers squeak on the floor as she jumped with surprise. "I _hate_ it when you do that," She hissed quietly, "It creeps me out."

Charlotte rolled over on the ground so that she was now facing the geek who was seated on the floor across from her, still leaning against the wall.

"It creeps _me_ out to feel your eyes boring a hole in my back while I sleep." The CO yawned widely, opening her eyes, "Is it time for my shift?"

Lennon nodded and Charlotte sat up.

The redhead scratched her neck and yawned again, "Alright...catch a few, you'll need them, and-"

Charlotte then noticed the rash like blush that had spread across Lennon's face.

She let out a sigh, "You fell asleep, didn't you?"

-------------------

Andrea, a beautiful youngish Sue with chocolate colored hair and unbelievably bright sapphire eyes was on a mission. She was in search of the three Anti Busters who currently prowled the corridors of Atlantis.

Ashley Whats-Her-Face Sue-

The author did a little victory dance at this small dig at the uppity character, since the aforementioned Sue wasn't in the scene to shout at her for getting her name wrong.

Ashley Whats-Her-Face Sue had sent Andrea out with express orders to find and befriend the three Antis, in hopes of an alliance being forged between the two organizations.

Where it was a Bunny Buster's job to clear out a fandom of Bunnies and Sues, it was an Anti Buster's job to do the opposite.

To make sure that the chaos brought about by Sues and Bunnies remained and grew to mammoth proportions.

Why this was their main objective, no-one knows, but it was, and it served to further one of the currently thickening secondary plots.

Andrea had been searching for close to an hour when she finally ran upon the three Antis.

The Anti Charlotte had drawn her gun on the innocent looking Sue, thinking that perhaps she was an OC run amok, but Andrea stopped her from resorting to violence with an offer that she couldn't refuse.

"I come bearing an offer of alliance from the Queen Mary Sue of this fandom."

Andrea's blue eyes glittered, "Help us wipe out the Busters."

-----------------------

Lennon gaped at Charlotte, clearly insulted by the insinuation that she was napping on the job, "What do you mean 'You fell asleep'? Have I _ever_ fallen asleep on a watch before?"

The Busters commander tilted her head at her subordinate but said nothing.

Lennon let out a little huff, "Oh come on, _one_ time...in case you've forgotten there was sleeping gas involved in that particular instance, so it _totally_ wasn't my fault."

Charlotte shook her head in a long suffering way, "Oh come on, Len, don't deny it. It's _obvious_...I mean for crying out loud, you're flushed..you had one of _those_ dreams."

Lennon placed her hands to her face and found that her flesh was indeed hot to the touch. Well, it was only natural that she would blush that violently, remembering everything that had happened during her last encounter with McKay...

Let's just say it's a good thing she had the grace to blush, otherwise she would have been considered quite brazen for being able to think such thoughts _without_ blushing.

Charlotte pressed on, "Who was it this time? Ash? Joxer? Langly?"

If at all humanly possible the blush deepened and spread more aggressively on the geek's face, going so far as to cause severe discoloration in her neck.

"Ah...Langly then." Charlotte nodded knowingly.

At least she _thought_ it was knowingly, but you and I, dear reader know otherwise. _We_ know that Lennon was thinking of a certain astrophysicist and the problems his wiped out memory presented...

Ok, so she was thinking more along the lines of the memories _she_ was revisiting in which he starred prominently, let's be honest.

But hey, if Charlotte wanted to think it was Langly that Lennon was obsessing over, who are we to stop her?

"I've told you before," Lennon said, her voice slightly strained, "Langly and I were _friends_."

"Friends? You traded shirts with him," Charlotte stated smugly.

"So?" Lennon squeaked, still trying to avoid waking the other occupants of the room, "I wanted his Ramones shirt, he wanted my DK shirt. We traded."

Charlotte lifted an eyebrow, "You went in his bedroom to swap and didn't come out for close to four hours."

Lennon looked upwards and tapped her fingers nervously on the floor next to her thigh, "We were discussing...our D&D characters. Yeah. Lord Manhammer and Black Leaf. That's what we were talking about."

"For _four_ hours?"

"_Yes_. You know how we nerds are when we get together and geek out."

Charlotte crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Lennon, "Oh, come _on_. I've seen you harp on a subject for two hours _tops_, four is just unbelievable. You don't have the attention span for it."

Lennon glared at Charlotte so fiercely that it might have sent the other woman running if she hadn't been used to glares of that strength already.

"Alright, so I indulged in a little make-out session with a minor canon on a vacation, big deal." The geek shifted her jaw and looked at Charlotte pointedly, "I don't remember you being such a Ship-Nazi when you wandered out of the 'verse with one of Byers' ties."

"Yeah..." A slight smile graced Charlotte's lips momentarily and she looked like she was far away for a split second, "Remind me again, why don't we take vacations like that more often?"

Lennon glared at her superior officer again, "Vacations? We haven't been on a vacation in four years. Been too busy with missions and follow-up visits, you know that. I-"

A slight scuffling broke up the chummy conversation between the two elder Busters, both their heads jerking up as they sought the source of the sound.

Charlotte looked at Lennon as she mouthed the word, 'Hallway'.

It was at this precise moment in time, that Techie came to an impasse and had to flip a coin in order to decide which of her beloved OCs she would send out into the hallway, because both the possible outcomes could be so bloody hilarious she couldn't come to a decision on her own.

Tails.

Lennon nodded and got up off the floor.

"Where do you think you're going?" Charlotte hissed as she too got up off the ground, weapon drawn.

"Hawaii," Lennon deadpanned before she sighed and snarked, "I'm going to investigate the noise, duh."

"Lenny, I'll take this one. I-"

"No, no. I'm already horribly and irreparably injured while you're still in pretty good shape." Lennon stated logically, "The worst thing that could be waiting for me out there is death. Which quite frankly, after today, would be a welcome break in the monotony of getting the stuffing beaten out of me every hour on the hour."

Charlotte reached out and grabbed hold of Lennon's arm, keeping her from leaving the room, "Precisely why _I_ should be the one to go." Charlotte looked down at her watch, "You're about due for another bout of abuse. Besides," she smirked at Lennon, "I can't let you have _all_ the fun, can I?"

--------------------

The three Anti Busters had been escorted by Andrea to the Queen Sue's throne room and after the pleasantries were out of the way, Anti Charlotte dove right into the subject at hand.

Anti Charlotte looked at the Queen Sue with distaste, "Why should we help _you_?"

Ashley batted her eyelashes at the Anti Buster Commander.

"Well, that _is_ a valid argument if ever _I_ heard one," Anti Charlotte replied caustically, "Try again, sweetie, I don't swing that way."

Ashley crossed her toned arms over her equally toned middle and sighed, "You want to get rid of the Busters. So do we. Our goals are the same, why not work together in order to accomplish them?"

"A Sue with the power of logical reasoning," Anti Madison said, clearly awed, "The apocalypse cannot be far behind."

Anti Lennon glared at Anti Madison, "Watch it there. Snark is exclusively _my_ department."

Anti Charlotte ignored the other two team members, keeping her focus trained on the Queen Sue instead, "I assume, your highness, that you have a plan in place?"

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue shifted on her throne, leaning back into the plush pinkness. "Yes. Indeed I do," she said in a self congratulatory manner.

"You feel like elaborating a bit?" Anti Lennon snipped.

"Yes...if we're going to work _together_," Anti Madison sneered at the word, "We need to know what you'd like us to do."

All three of the Antis crossed their arms over their chests and waited.

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue's eyes sparkled as she launched into an explanation of her plan...

---------------------

Charlotte cautiously rounded the corner of the storage room doorway, gun brought up to eye level and clutched tightly in both hands.

She looked every bit the professional that she was.

While her cigar chomping and snarking with her teammate might have made her seem like less than the perfect military officer, that's what she was. Top of her class, trained in the toughest of fandoms and had a history of successful missions within Cop 'Verse fandoms like Law and Order and Homicide: Life On The Street.

In fact, her cigar smoking habit could be traced back to shadowing a particular trench coat wearing detective (who shall remain nameless) for a number of weeks.

All that experience is why she was given the high honor of being in command of a Buster team, and it was why she was now skulking along the corridor looking a lot like a kick ass video game character.

She registered the slightest bit of movement ahead of her. All she had seen was a blur that ran across her view from one room on one side of the corridor to another.

Charlotte advanced slowly, rounding the corner of the doorway through which the blur had retreated.

It turned out that it wasn't just a room, it was another corridor.

And that blur of movement was a canon.

Sort of.

---------------

"It's come to my attention that there is an Amnesia Bunny den of immense proportions at the center of the city, ruled by a bunny by the name of-what was it again?"

One of Ashley's subjects spoke up, "It's Joe, Your Majesty."

"Yes, yes, of course. Joe. Joe The Amnesia Bunny, of course."

Anti Madison flipped her hair, "Get to the point already, would you? We're busy women. Places to go, things to do, doubles to kill...you know the drill."

"I don't appreciate being interrupted," Ashley said haughtily, "Now if you don't mind, I was just getting to the good part of my brilliant plan."

The three glanced at each other with identical looks of doubt as they listened to the Sue Queen lay out her plan in detail.

Anti Lennon spoke with skepticism in her tone, "You have to be kidding. That's your brilliant plan? I've heard matzo ball recipes that have been thought out better."

Her Highness Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue glowered at the insult that had just been so carelessly lobbed in her direction.

"And I suppose you have a better idea?"

The Anti Lennon tilted her head so that she was now looking down her nose at the Sue, "I _alway_s have a better idea."

------------------

Charlotte approached the canon with caution.

It was a child, but unlike any that Charlotte had seen before.

"Hey there, little guy," Charlotte said in what she hoped was a motherly tone, "Come on out of there."

The kid just looked at her from beneath tangled brown dreadlocks and stuck to the wall as though his life depended on it. His eyes flicked from her face to her gun and back again, and Charlotte finally got the hint.

"Alright, it's ok. I'm not going to hurt you." She made a great show of placing her firearm in it's holster and held her hands up in a non-threatening gesture, "C'mon out, it's safe."

The little boy, who couldn't have been more than five or six, came away from the wall that he had pressed himself up against, still watching her closely.

Charlotte smiled at him kindly and held out her hand for him to take, "Come on. I promise, I won't hurt you."

The child approached her carefully, timidly reaching out his hand to meet Charlotte's.

She smiled at him as warmly and as encouragingly as possible as he reached for her and-

Snatched her gun out of the holster on her thigh.

The kid smiled at Charlotte in a feral way as he held the gun with one hand, showing practiced ease with the firearm.

"Hands up."

Charlotte's warm, kind smile turned into a nasty sneer as she put her hands up, "Why you little maggot. It's _always_ the cute ones."

"You really shouldn't play with guns, kid."

"I can handle myself," the child smirked and Charlotte was suddenly reminded why she hated kids and vowed to never have any. They were cute to look at, but boy, were they the embodiment of pure evil.

"I'm sure you can."

A sudden sound from somewhere gave the Mini!Ronon pause, causing him to take his eyes off Charlotte for a split second, giving her enough time to withdraw her secondary weapon from the back of her pants and aim it at him.

"Maybe you're not so good at handling yourself after all, eh kiddo?"

The Mini!Ronon's eyes flashed at the sight of the gun that Charlotte was brandishing in his face.

God was she lucky that kid canons had short attention spans, otherwise she might not have been able to gain the upper hand the way she just did.

Charlotte narrowed her eyes at the grungy looking child, "Seems like we've reached an impasse, huh kid?"

The Mini!Ronon squeezed the trigger of the nine millimeter, but it recoiled so violently in his small hand that he missed his target, the bullet only grazing the side of Charlotte's head.

Charlotte took this opportunity to lunge and snatch the gun from him with a triumphant cry.

He replied with a swift kick to one of her shins before he dashed off at full speed.

Charlotte cried out and started hopping around, both her hands clutching her shin, "You better run, you little bastard!"

After several long seconds of trying to recover from the positively brutal hit to her shin (really, who knew that kids could kick that hard?) she started hobbling down the hallway after him.

She rounded the corner that he had retreated around just moments before, and found the corridor empty.

A bit of blood trickled down the side of her face where the bullet had winged her. "Got away...ooh that little _brat_. Oh, he's gonna pay for that." She wiped the blood away with one hand as she straightened up.

Charlotte grunted, drew her gun once more and started heading back towards the storage room where she had left Lennon, Dawn and McKay.

Next time she offered to go somewhere in Lennon's stead, she would remember this particular incident and decide otherwise.

After this little adventure, taking the second watch shift would be a treat.

---------------

A/N:Omg. Yes. Ok. I took a break mid-chapter to go read the script for Clerks and then I got an e-mail from Nenya filled with all sorts of evil little plot bunnies and now I'm all stoked about writing humor again.

I mean, I was _before_ but I was scared that I was losing my touch and was getting skittish about doing some things.

Now though, I feel all energized and excited..woohoo!

I'd like to credit the lovely TortieKitten for the idea for the 'Ashley Whats-Her-Face Sue' thing. I thought it hilarious and couldn't resist giving it placement in the story.

This chapter was so chock full of little pop culture refs, that if you can spot them all, you deserve a big honkin' cookie. Heck a whole platter of big honkin' cookies.

Plus, I'm issuing another chaaaallenge -singsong voice- I'm, frankly, too exhausted from being attacked by the plot bunnies for this story to even consider penning another at this point, but I _would_ LOVE to see something that covers the Buster's vacay...you know, the one that Lennon and Charlie were mentioning? -wink wink nudge nudge-

Also, even though I haven't replied to any reviews lately, I swear to you, I read every single one! And I TRY to reply. Sometimes ff dot net lets me and other times...well...-weeps- So if I don't answer you, please don't think I'm ignoring you. I'm not. I love you all and wish I could give you big fat fruit baskets and little McKay plushies as thanks for your continued support/encouragement/ass kissing.

Alright..so, I'm gonna go pass out now. Must be in line at the theatre in...uuuuuh...-looks at watch- six hours.

VIVA LA CLERKS TWO!


	35. The Second Watch Part Two

Ok, I'm blushing hardcore right now. Just got this wonderful review on chapter ten from Jacoba1 and I can't...stop...blushing!

And giggling...

And grinning...

And I kinda look/sound like the Joker on acid.

Good God, make it stop! My roomie thinks I've really lost it this time!

You know...in comparison to all those _other_ times.

----------

Lennon was nervous.

Alright, she was _beyond_ nervous.

She was anxious, edgy, tense and uneasy. Just to name a few choice synonyms.

Charlotte had been gone for close to twenty minutes without a word over the com links and Lennon was growing more antsy by the second.

It wasn't so much Charlotte's absence that was making her edgy, no. Instead, it was the internal struggle she was currently waging with her conscience about the old Ship Arrow wound.

Should she confide in Charlotte about it? Charlotte knew about the wound itself, of course but she didn't know about the fact that Lennon had been shipped as a result.

Well, alright, that wasn't _entirely_ true. One night several years ago, Charlotte and Lennon had gotten smashed, sloshed and otherwise inebriated after Madison's funeral, and Lennon had admitted that she had indeed been shipped once.

But she hadn't specified the when or where or _who_.

Which, if she told Charlotte _now_...

Man would she be in trouble.

Still, could she run the risk of _not_ telling her superior officer?

Shipper Bunny Arrows were nasty things to deal with. When hit with one, you were infected with the unquenchable desire to find someone to love (or in the case of Smut Bunnies, the desire to find someone to...well, you fill in the blanks, I'm assuming you're _that_ smart). The effects usually wear off in a couple of hours, provided you don't touch another person of the opposite sex.

However, if you _do_ touch someone, as Lennon had done, the only thing to do was tell your superior officer, avoid all contact with the one you were shipped with, scrub the mission and hope to God that it wore off on it's own.

Lennon hadn't told Charlotte.

Strike one.

She hadn't avoided contact with McKay. In fact, she had kinda almost sorta sought him out on several occasions, and had a lot more contact with him than she should have...some of said contact being...more...intimate in nature than it should have been.

Strike two...and three and four.

Hell, that's strikes two through _ten_.

Lennon groaned, tangled a hand in her hair and hung her head.

She _had_ to figure out something...and _soon_.

----------------

A bright, shimmering light spread out across the Gateroom, touching every available surface with it's brightness, which morphed into two separate blobs of light.

From there, those two blobs turned into two distinctly human shaped forms, which took on the appearance of two very flustered looking fandom muses, one male and one female, and both in traditional Greek garb.

The first Muse, a woman with frizzled curled red hair brushed herself off with vigor. "Well, that's the last time I travel by transporter. The very idea of molecular reorganization simply boggles the mind," she said snootily, "Really, did we _have_ to come here?"

"It was _your_ suggestion that got Cupcake up in arms, Arca." The other Muse stated logically, "And as I recall, it was your _illegal_ Romulan Ale that's currently serving as her liquid courage."

Arca harrumphed, "Oh honestly Caesar, you'd think there was a prohibition in effect amongst the Muses!"

"There _is_." The other Muse said simply, "And don't even _try_ to say you didn't get the memo, because I have it on very good authority that Willie the mail boy gave it to you personally."

Arca glared at Caesar viciously, "Leave him out of this. Let's just go find Cupcake and get out of this fandom before the Syndicate finds out we're here."

"Yes, lets. Last thing I need is another run in with the commissioner."

Arca quirked one fiery colored eyebrow, "_Another_?"

"I said something to his niece once and he slapped my face."

"Why didn't his niece slap your face?"

"She did."

"What did you say to her?"

Caesar leaned over and whispered something into Arca's ear, and she gave him an indecensed look, "You're lucky **I** don't slap your face. You oughtta be ashamed of yourself. Where did you hear that story?"

"_You_ told it to me."

"Oh, yes, I remember...and I should have slapped Comicus' face when _he_ told it to _me_."

Arca gave another glance about herself, "C'mon, let's go find Cupcake. The sooner we do, the sooner we can scram."

-------------------

Charlotte reappeared in the small storage room a few minutes after Lennon had come to a decision about the whole McKay/Ship Arrow debacle.

What Charlie didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

Charlotte limped into the small room, grumbling only slightly.

"What's the matter with you?"

"A Mini!Canon got me, that's what." Charlotte plopped down on the floor next to Lennon.

"Where is he?"

"Out there...somewhere." Charlotte waved towards the corridor absently, "I lost him."

Lennon looked down at the ground, "Oh."

Charlotte poked Lennon in the shoulder, "What's wrong with _you_?"

Lennon glanced at Charlotte from the corner of her eye, "Nothing...just tired." She looked down at her watch, "You've got another hour's worth of the second watch to go. I'm gonna lie down."

Charlotte nodded, "Yeah. Get some rest. You need it."

Lennon snorted and muttered something that sounded like 'You have no idea' before she went and got herself situated on the ground where Charlotte had been sleeping before, between McKay and Dawn.

Lennon yawned and rolled over, "G'night Charlie."

Charlotte looked at Lennon's back momentarily, Lennon _never_ said goodnight...something was up.

However, Charlotte, being the wise commander that she was, decided that she should let it go. "Night, Lenny," she replied as she scooted back and leaned against the wall.

Lennon didn't even hear her CO...she had already fallen asleep and was breathing noisily through her nose.

Charlotte shook her head and pulled her pack up next to her.

She rummaged around in it momentarily before she pulled out a compact reading light, a pen and her copy of The Patented Anti Plot Bunny Agency's Bunny Handbook. She flipped through it, looking at the various photographs and diagrams of the different types of bunnies that were out there and started marking off all those that she, or the other members of her team, had already come in contact with, or saw the effects of, during this mission.

Ship Bunnies, check. Slash Bunnies, check. Horror Bunnies-

Charlotte shuddered involuntarily.

Check.

Whump Bunnies...well, they hadn't found the bunnies themselves yet, but Lennon had run into an over-whumped character, so the bunnies couldn't be too far away.

Bimbo Bunnies, Crossover Bunnies, Amnesia Bunnies, Resurrection Bunnies...

Check, check, check, check.

Drag Bunnies, Mini!Canon Bunnies, Casanova Bunnies...

The list went on and on and on.

Even after she checked off every single bunny on the list that they had already been exposed to (and nor were they done being exposed to them, unbeknownst to the Commanding Buster) there were still at _least_ twenty species left.

In a fandom that was this big and this far gone, it was a pretty safe bet that they'd run into _all_ the Bunny types sooner or later.

Charlotte barely stifled a groan of displeasure.

This was going to be one of their longest missions yet, she could feel it.

She damn well better get a bonus for this one.

-------------------

A/N: Yes...there is an entire bit in this chapter which I gleefully snatched from the movie 'Duck Soup'. It's one of those lovely old movies that when you sit down to watch it, it's not all toilet humor and sight gags. You have to be paying reeeeally close attention to get any sense out of it at all, because the verbal barbs that get tossed back and forth can really make your head spin.

I _love_ that kind of humor, and as such, it's one of my favorite flicks.

Not that I dislike toilet humor or anything, I mean, helloooo I waited in line for six hours to see Clerks 2.

Although...they sold out about two seconds before I got to the ticket booth, which made me cry and grumble and curse the Kevin Smith adoring masses who had deprived me of my ticket, because, in my opinion, if you don't go see a cult flick follow up on the first day, at the first available showing, there's really no point in going at all.

No, I didn't wait for any of the Star Wars movies either, because I know that's where your mind just went. 'Oh, she's one of those weirdoes that camped out to await 'The Phantom Menace'"

-slaps readers who thought that with a salmon-

I'm a Trekkie...shame on you for thinking I would betray the almighty Roddenberry by going to see that...that...-points at Jar Jar Binks- THAT!

Why the hell am I suddenly missing the Brini Maxwell Show?

-wanders off to ponder this strange turn of events and even stranger turn in trains of thought-


	36. Panic!

Techie was currently having a small panic attack.

Alright, let's be honest with ourselves here. It was a _huge_ panic attack.

She had been sitting at her computer for most of the day, finally getting back to writing the next chapters of all her fics after several days off.

She had a nasty fever throughout Sunday and Monday, and was finally getting over it on Tuesday. Now it was Wednesday and though she still had a gnarly ear infection she _finally_ felt up to writing again.

She did finish a chapter of 'Someone Noticed' and posted it on Tuesday, and though she was really, _really_ happy with that, she still felt like she was neglecting her fans of 'When Plot Bunnies Attack' by leaving them chapterless for several days.

So, she sat down early in the afternoon and decided to type up the next bits of everything. Ignoring the construction crews who were working installing new lights outside her apartment complex, and singing along with 'Kodachrome', she started typing like a demon.

She opened four different WordPad windows, so that she could hop from story to story as the muse directed (attention deficit, don't you know), and within three hours sometime around five, she had a new chapter to 'When Plot Bunnies Attack', 'Retribution!' and 'Someone Noticed' in addition to a cute little humor one shot about McKay's relationship with his cat.

From the cat's point of view.

She was about to hit the save button on one of the documents, when her music cut out and the monitor went black.

Not 'oops the energy saver feature has clicked on' black, the 'OH MY GOD! THE ELECTRICTY HAS GONE OUT' black.

Techie let out a scream and flailed in her chair.

The crew outside had accidentally hit one of those vital wires that was supplying power to her apartment.

She let out another squeak and slammed her head on her keyboard repeatedly.

No. No. No. No. This was _not_ happening!

Twenty four pages of work, down the drain! Brilliant dialogue, fabulous scenes, excellent plot points pushed, all of them, gone forever!

And then, the hyperventilating started.

By the time the electricity was turned back on (a little over an hour later) she had calmed down considerably.

By considerably, I mean she was no longer red from oxygen deprivation.

Instead, she was positively _puce_.

This was the sort of thing that could drive a Techie to drink.

If there was anything alcoholic in the house, that is. As it stood, the apartment was dry, aside from the mouthwash in the bathroom, and as much as she liked spearmint, she wasn't _that_ desperate.

Techie put her head in her hands and let out a sobbish sound.

Not a sob, for Techie only cries during Star Trek movies when someone dies and the X-Files episode 'Jump The Shark', but a sobb_ish_ sound, which was halfway between a scream and a sigh.

Her watch suddenly started beeping insistently, reminding her that the reruns of Project Runway would be on Bravo network right now.

She took a shuddering breath and frowned before she shuffled into the living room, feeling like she'd been hit by a semi.

Twenty four pages...twenty _four_ pages.

She flopped down on her beastly looking burgundy recliner and sulked.

After quite a bit of PR, she felt a little better.

Only a little though...she was still massively pissed at the world.

Ok, so mostly she was pissed at those bumbling crews who'd inadvertently messed up three hours of her hard work, and she was still _kinda_ pissed about Angela not getting eliminated on Project Runway for two weeks in a row when she so _totally_ deserved it.

After her show was over, Techie got to her feet and wearily went back to her computer, wobbling a little since her equilibrium was off due to the ear infection thing.

She plopped down in front of the computer, turned it on, and started _all_ over again.

------------------

A/N:This happened to me today, and let me tell you it sucked SO much! I was all like, stoked about getting things done and then-

-screen goes blank-

"WHAT? NO! NO! NOOOOOOOO!" -slams head on keyboard-


	37. The Third And Final Watch

Charlotte continued her reading of the APBA handbook for most of the next hour, looking up every now and then to check on the condition of her team and the canon.

Halfway through the chapter on Smut Bunnies, Charlotte began having a hard time concentrating.

Lennon was snoring...

_Loudly_.

The geek's head was tilted at such an angle that it was causing her to snore like a freight train/chainsaw hybrid and it was beginning to grate on Charlotte's nerves. She was lying on her left side, mouth hanging open, _snoring_, with one of her arms lazily draped over her body and the other tucked awkwardly under her head, while one of her legs was bent at a strange angle so that her knee was in the air and her foot bent to the side in a position that Charlotte was certain would have caused immense pain to anyone else.

Very attractive.

And still Lennon snored on.

Charlotte glared at her teammate, knowing full well that it wouldn't do any good.

Lennon rolled over, the arm that had been lying across her body moments before flopping like a wet noodle as she moved. The back of her hand came in contact with McKay's face, making a slight 'slap' noise as it hit his cheek.

McKay grumbled and swatted Lennon's hand off his face in his slumber. "Always with the hitting." He mumbled.

Lennon snorted in her sleep and muttered something completely inaudible to Charlotte, and therefore, unreadable for _us_, before she moved her arm again, this time causing her hand to slap McKay's chest with a thud.

McKay grumbled again in his sleep, but didn't move or swat Lennon's hand away this time.

As Charlotte's alarm on her watch went off, she gently grabbed hold of Dawn's shoulder and shook her awake.

Dawn's bulbous blue eyes flew open suddenly and she looked up at her commanding officer.

"Get up, Dawn."

Dawn pushed down a yawn and sat up, wiping her bleary eyes before blinking a few times. She lazily scrubbed a hand over her face and scratched her head, slowly waking up. "Wh-" she yawned widely in mid-word, "What time is it?"

"Time for your shift."

Dawn yawned again before she pulled herself up off the floor, dragging her pack with her in the process, and wandered over to a spot parallel to the door of the small storage room.

Charlotte took over Dawn's former spot, gave her heavy pack a few punches (as it was serving as her pillow for the night) and laid down.

"Goodnight, Charlie," Dawn said sweetly from her vantage point across the room.

"I think you mean good morning, Dawn." Charlotte replied as she shut her eyes and rolled over.

-----------------------

The Sue Queen was looking at the Anti Lennon with new eyes as she listened to the geek describe her own plan.

It did indeed leave Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue's own idea in the dust.

Not that she would ever admit it, since that would amount to admitting she was _wrong_.

So instead of expressing just how brilliant she thought it was, she simply crossed her arms over her chest, raised her eyebrow and said smugly, "Acceptable."

Anti Lennon raised an eyebrow of her own, "Oh? Well, if it only rates an 'acceptable' then I guess you don't need our help in executing it...right?"

"No, no, no," The Queen said a little too quickly, "It's _your_ idea, I wouldn't _dream_ of stealing your thunder."

"Uh huh," Anti Madison replied skeptically, "Sure. You just want _us_ to do all the dirty work _for_ you."

Charlotte spoke with the queen for a few seconds in hushed tones, before she turned back to Anti Lennon, "Now then, for the sake of those readers who came in on this scene a few minutes after you finished explaining your master plan, Fisk, why don't you give it a quick rehash."

"And do _try_ not to be so long winded this time," Anti Madison said, her tone showing she was clearly bored.

Anti Lennon glared, but launched into her explanation regardless.

"Her Highness said that there's an Amnesia Bunny Den at the center of the city, and that it's ruled by one particular bunny. Now, you and I know that in order for there to be a ruling class within a bunny population, the particular species has to have completely overrun the fandom, and the den must hold more than a thousand bunnies of that particular type. Now-"

Anti Madison scoffed, "You pompous old windbag, get on with it, already!"

Anti Lennon flipped her hair in a decidedly vain and very un-Lennon like manner before she continued, "The point is, the Amnesia Bunny den is _huge_ and densely populated. If we can lure those three _heroes_-" she snorted at the use of the word, "Then all our problems will be solved. If they get infected, their minds will be wiped, memories Swiss cheesed to the point where they're totally blank slates. From there, we can either kill them, or manipulate them as we see fit."

_--Two Hours Later--_

Dawn sighed heavily.

She was bored.

Very, _very_ bored.

Seriously wishing she'd brought something to read or whatnot.

Of course, if she'd brought any of her favorite books along with her, she would have no doubt awakened her teammates with her giggling, as her taste in books ran to titles like 'Pure Drivel' and 'Get A Life' which never failed to make her snicker uncontrollably.

Bored, bored, bored.

She sighed again, even louder this time, if that was at all possible, and drummed the fingers of her free hand against the ground next to her leg.

There was a grumble from one of her companions, and a sleep laden voice called out sounding slightly annoyed, "_What_."

Dawn jumped at the sudden sound, her heart pumping at an unhealthy pace all of the sudden.

She saw a silhouette shift and sit up in the dark.

Dawn watched as Lennon shook her head a few times and wiped her hands over her eyes, forcing the sleep from them. Her eyelids were still rather droopy and she smacked her jaw a few times as she returned to full consciousness.

"Did I wake you?" Dawn asked sheepishly.

"No, I always sit up and hold conversations in my sleep," Lennon snarked as she moved carefully, trying to avoid waking McKay and Charlotte.

"I'm sorry, Lenny, I didn't mean to."

Lennon waved her hand dismissively, "No big deal. Those whole three hours of sleep per night are a total waste of my valuable time anyway. I can rest when I'm dead, which-" She looked at her watch fleetingly, "Shouldn't be too far off, at the rate I'm going."

Dawn stifled a smile at Lennon's self deprecating humor but said nothing.

The geek stood and carefully lifted her pack from between the two sleeping people on the floor at her feet so as not to disturb them.

Dawn was eerily quiet, suddenly unsure of which direction in which to take this current train of conversation. She hadn't spent much time with Lennon _alone_ over the past six months, and without Charlotte as a buffer, she had no idea what to do or what to say.

Lennon, naturally, picked up on Dawn's apprehension. She was observant like that all the time.

Ok, so maybe it was more like sometimes.

Alright, so occasionally.

Ok, ok, let's be honest. _Rarely_.

But _this_ time, she picked up on it.

"Alright newb, what is it?" Lennon carefully stepped over McKay's sleeping form and made her way over to Dawn.

"Just...uh...bored." The blonde replied.

"Welcome to the joys of late night sentry duty. Scootch over."

"Scootch?"

Lennon gave Dawn a withering look that said something along the lines of 'are you _deaf_?', "Yeah, _scootch_."

Dawn 'scootched' over about a foot and a half and Lennon flopped down next to her.

There was uneasy silence for a few minutes, both women occupied with their own thoughts. Dawn with thoughts of just how to break the aforementioned silence, and Lennon with thoughts that ranged from where to find an alternative power source for the restoration device, to how to interface Ancient or Wraith technology (she wasn't feeling very picky at the moment) with said restoration device.

Several more minutes passed and Dawn cleared her throat awkwardly.

Before she could speak however, Lennon cut her off.

The geek squished up her face, "Let me guess, this is the part where we grin, giggle and bond through sharing our past experiences, and then when we get back home we get together for breakfast every third Saturday to compare eye shadow, talk about guys and the latest Jimmy Choos, right?"

Dawn was taken aback, "I wasn't going to suggest anything of the sort."

Now it was Lennon's turn to be taken aback-

Aback is one of Techie's favorite words, you see.

"Oh? 'Cause that's usually how it goes. I mean, the last four rookies who were assigned to Charlie and me-oh, excuse me grammar fiends, I meant to say Charlie and _I_, were the chatty Cathy types."

Dawn couldn't help but snort, "Lenny, I'd never try to get _you_ to dish about guys."

Lennon glared fiercely, "And what exactly do you mean by _that_?"

"Huh?"

"You put italic emphasis on the word 'you' in that last sentence...didn't you think I'd catch it?"

"Well, it's just that I-"

"What?" Lennon snipped, getting slightly annoyed.

Oh she knew where this particular train of thought was going, she'd heard this sort of thing before.

From McKay, no less.

Irritation mixed with...something else that she couldn't quite identify surged up within her inexplicably at the thought of him.

"You think me inexperienced? Think I don't have any insights on the opposite species to share?"

Dawn's pale eyebrows furrowed, "Opposite species? Don't you mean opposite sex?"

"No. We're not opposite sexes, we're completely different species. Believe me on this one, I _know_."

Dawn picked up on the fact that this wasn't really the right time to interject, sensing a full blown rant on the way.

"Regardless of what you, and quite frankly everyone _else_ at HQ thinks, I've been around the block."

"Well, I haven't really heard _that_ much," Dawn said honestly, "Only that you've been pulled before the disciplinary committee more than any other Buster your age, and that you can't hold your liquor."

"That's a nasty rumor started by the people I've fallen over."

"And the disciplinary committee stuff?"

Lennon waved a hand, "No big deal. I mean, most of those charges were pressed by Molinaro when he was still in office and most of 'em were dropped."

"_Most_?"

"Tell me Dawn, do you get a kick out of repeating everything I say?"

"No, I just wondered which charges were dropped and which ones stuck, that's all. I think I have a pretty good idea."

"What do you mean by that?"

Dawn looked at her superior, slightly confused, "What do you mean what do I mean?"

"What do you mean, what do I mean, what do you mean?"

"What do you mean, what do I mean, what do you mean, what do I mean?" Dawn asked, beginning to feel like an unwilling participant in an old vaudeville routine.

"Never mind! Next you're gonna ask me 'Who's on first?' and I'll be forced to kill you."

"Huh? What're you talking about? Who's on the first of what?"

"No, who is on first, what is on second."

"I don't know?"

Lennon pegged a finger at Dawn, "Don't you _dare_. I am _not_ going to go through the whole routine with you, Techie's love of it be damned!"

A small grumble of _'Aw, nuts'_ came from above somewhere.

"What _are_ you talking about?" Dawn exclaimed, now thouhroughly confused.

Lennon sighed heavily, "Do they teach you nothing at the academy anymore? I mean, I _know_ you didn't work in the humor fandoms, in fact, no-one really does much anymore, but really, the powers that be could at least have the decency to give you some basic training in it! You know, just in case!"

"Oh, would you two _shut up_?"

Both women's heads snapped up to see a very grouchy looking canon staring back at them.

Oh, I'm sorry, a very grouchy canon _glowering_ at them.

"What's _your_ problem?" Lennon snapped, sounding much more annoyed than usual. Which was quite a feat considering the fact that Lennon's natural state was _defined_ as annoyed.

"I was _trying_ to sleep, and was rudely awakened by you two comedians," McKay glared, "You know, sleep? That thing you do in order to continue being able to function on a somewhat coherent level?"

"You're coherent?" Lennon asked, feigning shock, "I _never_ would have guessed."

Charlotte grumbled suddenly, "Oh lay off, would you Lennon?"

Lennon...that name bothered McKay no end. He _knew_ it from somewhere.

Other than the obvious, of course.

It was at this point in time, that the watches of all three Busters sounded their alarms, knocking McKay out of his thoughts.

"Alright, girls, back to work." Charlotte was up off the ground before McKay registered the fact she had moved.

A loud grumbling sound erupted and all heads turned towards the source.

"Sounds like someone's got a rumbly in their tumbly."

Lennon blinked a couple of times at the accusing stares and Dawn's overly cutesy comment, "What? I haven't eaten in eighteen hours, it was bound to catch up with me _sometime_."

"Right. Let's have a bite and then we can get back to work. How're we doing on rations, Dawn?"

Dawn's eyebrows knit together, "Not too well. I mean, we did jump directly from the last fandom into this one without restocking or anything."

"Not like HQ gave us a choice," Lennon broke in, "It _was_ an emergency situation." She yanked a map out of her pack and scanned it quickly, "So, we should hit the mess hall then?"

Dawn looked at her shoes, "Uh...well, the mess hall isn't really in a habitable condition right now."

Lennon lifted an eyebrow, "Oh?"

"Dawn had a little crossover accident," Charlotte said.

Lennon rolled her eyes and muttered 'rookies' under her breath.

"Are there any storage rooms nearby that have food in them?" Dawn asked hopefully, leaning over Lennon's shoulder to look at the map.

The geek glared, "Do you _mind_? I'm trying to read here."

Dawn stepped back a couple of feet, "Sorry."

Lennon spent a few minutes looking at the map, "Sector...uh...twenty one has one, it looks like."

"Good," Charlotte shrugged into her pack, "Let's go."

------------------

A/N: Ugh...this thing tried to turn into four thousand words against my will. This thing is seven pages long in Word, and was well on it's way towards being _ten_. -faints- I swear to you. I didn't feel like subjecting you poor souls to that much of me at once, just for the sake of one more punch line.

Regardless of how awesome the aforementioned punch line _is_.

Oh and it is…it is, it is, it is.

If you're not familiar with the old Abbot And Costello 'Who's On First?' routine, I suggest you get familiar with it awful quick...

Or else I shall be forced to kill you. -tilts her head in a creepy manner while grinning like a lunatic-

The back and forth dialogue between Lenny and Dawn was largely inspired by chapter twelve of Meeting Of Minds. I was stuck and after reading it and laughing like crazy, I felt good enough to write again and this is what came out.

I don't really think this is like, as funny as it should be, but at this point, I'm too burnt out to care. If you did like it, let me know, huh? It makes the sleep deprivation worthwhile.


	38. Doo Wa Diddy Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

Twenty minutes later, the four had made it into sector twenty one, none the worse for wear.

Lennon was the only one who was suspicious of this particular fact, since it was when things quieted down that you-know-who got up to some of her most dastardly deeds.

"Charlie," Lennon spoke uneasily, completely ignoring the conversation that was currently going on between McKay and Dawn, "Do you get the feeling that something is..._wrong_?"

Charlotte looked at Lennon, "You're getting that feeling too?"

Lennon nodded, "It's like...I'm not sure. It's too quiet. I like it when there's noise and things going on...I get edgy when it's this..._silent_."

A barely suppressed snicker spilled out from the heavens, quickly turning into a full blown guffaw.

Lennon's eyes got big behind her glasses, "Never mind. I take it back. I like it when it's quiet." She looked upwards, "You hear me up there? I LIKE IT QUIET!"

A snort followed by silence was Lennon's only reply.

Lennon turned fearful dark eyes on Charlotte, "Alright, now I'm worried. That's _never_ a good sign. She doesn't giggle like that unless she's got something especially cruel and unusual planned for us."

Charlotte tried to be reassuring, "Relax, Lenny. It's probably nothing."

"Easy for you to say," Lennon snarked under her breath, "You're not the favorite."

Charlotte stopped in her tracks, "Excuse me? I'm not the _what_?"

"Nothing," Lennon answered a little too quickly.

Charlotte narrowed her eyes at the geek, "That's what I thought."

---_Meanwhile---_

"So they had this cat, you see, named after Shrodinger and-"

"Shrodinger?" Dawn asked, looking puzzled, "Who's that?"

"Shrodinger," McKay replied, "You know, Shrodinger's Cat Paradox?"

The youngest Buster just looked at him blankly.

"Of course," McKay said exasperatedly, "Of _course_ you don't know. It would have been too much to ask for you to know."

The scientist sighed, "Shrodinger's Cat Paradox goes like this:A cat is placed in a box, together with a radioactive atom."

"How did they get the cat into the box with the atom without risking exposure?"

"The cat and the-What? That's not important. This is a paradox. The actual _practicals_ of the situation at hand don't come into play," McKay replied dismissively, "Now then where was I? Ah yes, the cat and the atom are in the box;If the atom decays, a hammer kills the cat-"

"There's a hammer in the box now too?"

McKay glared, "You're missing the point. Let me tell you the whole thing and then _maybe_ you'll understand."

"A cat is placed in a box together with a radioactive atom. If the atom decays, a hammer kills the cat;if the atom _doesn't_ decay, the cat lives. As the atom is considered to be in either state before the observer opens the box, the cat must thus be considered to be simultaneously dead _and_ alive."

Dawn looked slightly more enlightened, and was about to say something to that effect, when Lennon broke into the scientific conversation, "I've always preferred Wittgenstein's Banana Paradox, myself."

McKay looked down his nose at Lennon and crossed his arms over his chest, "Never heard of it."

"Oh?" Lennon asked with a mischievious gleam in her eyes, "Well, then by all means, let me explain it to you."

Charlotte slapped her forehead, "Oh, not again."

"Alright, here's how it goes," Lennon said, "A banana is flying first class from New York to L.A. Two scientists, one in each city, are talking on the phone about the banana. Because it is moving in relationship to its noun, the referent of the word _banana_ never occupies one space, and anything that does not occupy one space does not exist. Therefore, a banana will arrive at JFK with no limousine into the city, even though the reservation was confirmed in L.A."

McKay blinked twice, trying to wrap his head around the utter absurdity that Lennon had just stated. "That...that doesn't make any sense!"

Lennon grinned, "That's the point."

McKay started deconstructing the problem, loudly complaining about the inconsistencies in the so called 'paradox'.

Charlotte gave Lennon a long suffering look, completely ignoring McKay, "Why do you do that to them?"

"What?" Lennon asked, putting on her best innocent face.

"Every scientist we've ever come across, you have to do something like that to them. What was it with Beckett? Didn't you give him the Sacagawea Rain Bonnet Paradox?"

Lennon shook her head, also ignoring McKay's ranting, "No, no. Sacagawea's Rain Bonnet was for...uh..what's his face. Doctor Smith. I did Elvis's Charcoal Briquette for Sam."

"And don't _even_ get me start on that 'noun' business!" McKay grumbled, unaware of the fact no one was listening to him.

"Right...right." Charlotte looked at Lennon pointedly, _still_ not paying any attention to McKay, "You're nuts, you know that, right?"

Lennon just smirked, "I know, I know. 'The whole world's mad, save for me and thee'-"

"And sometimes I think thee a little odd."

"Hey," Dawn suddenly stopped walking, "Do you hear that?"

Charlotte hushed both Lennon and McKay by bringing up one hand, as she strained her ears.

From somewhere, there was the sound of jogging feet...

Lots of them...

And...and there was...

Was that...?

"There she was just a'walkin' down the street-"

Charlotte looked at Lennon, as several other voices joined the one that had just rung out in song, "Singin' DO WA DIDDY DIDDY DUM DIDDY DOO!"

There were puzzled glances all around, and Dawn spoke, "You don't think it's the start of a song fic-"

"No," Lennon said, cutting her off, "That's not a song fic song...usually it's something by Evanescence or Nickleback or some such rubbish. It's gotta be something _else_."

"Snappin' her fingers and shufflin' her feet," There was that one voice singing alone again.

"Singin' DOO WA DIDDY DIDDY DUM DIDDY DOO!" And there were the others that joined in.

The sound of the jogging feet was getting louder, as was the singing itself.

"Whatever it is, they're getting closer." Charlotte looked at Lennon, "Anything like this ever happen to you before?"

The geek looked at her CO from beneath hooded lids, "I worked in _horror_ before sci-fi, remember? Not the sort of fandom where people just burst into song, you know."

"She looked good!"

"Looked good!"

"Looked fine!"

"Looked fine!"

The eyes of the four companions grew to mammoth proportions as something like a dozen male marines jogged around the corner, singing the whole way.

Now, this singing thing could simply be attributed to the fact that someone, somewhere has seen 'Stripes' more times than is healthy, the marine's uniforms however, could not be explained away quite so easily.

Oh, I'm sorry, did I say uniforms? I meant the lack there of.

That's right ladies and gentlemen, about fifteen marines, singing at the top of their lungs, with their only apparel related accessory being their dog tags, bounced past McKay and the three women.

"Oh, have we ever fallen into a tub of butter," Charlotte said dazedly, as one of the marines flashed her a winning, boyish grin, the sort that could level a room full of women in seconds flat. She beamed back, almost against her will, since she _knew_ better, and was rewarded with another dazzling, hundred watt smile, which left her stomach quivering in a most un-officer-in-charge manner.

"I second that!" Dawn replied, her face looking like it might crack in half from smiling so widely. One of the trailing marines winked at her and she felt her kneecaps lose their solidity, turning into a very good approximation of the consistency of not quite set Jell-o. She too was grinning like a total idiot and giggled girlishly when another marine gave her a look that made her insides tingle strangely, like that one time she'd eaten Indochine cuisinse.

McKay's eyes looked like they were going to pop right out of their sockets. First seeing Ford and Lorne together, and now _this_. Poor guy was going to require serious therapy to get over the sorts of things he'd seen over the past week. He'd most likely be stuck on Heightmeyer's couch three times a week for the next two years, trying to work out every disturbing little thing he'd experienced thus far.

A tall, dirty blonde, and totally _gorgeous_ (as in 'My God, it's not fair that a man is prettier than _me_' gorgeous) Marine gave Lennon an appreciative glance, accompanied by a perfect, white smile complete with sparkling blue eyes.

She was totally unaffected.

Alright, so that's a lie. Even if you're Lennon and only fall for geeks as a general rule, more than a dozen fit, naked marines bounding past is pretty hard to ignore.

She was just about ready to fall over, if we're being totally honest.

"Like a tub of _butter_," Charlotte repeated, still being heavily influenced by the presence of fifteen virile, athletic men in the buff.

There was something in the air affecting the three Busters, and it wasn't _just_ the mere presence of the marines, there was dirty foot awork.

I mean, dirty work afoot.

Even the author was having trouble concentrating...most definitely fowl play.

Foul! I meant foul!

Moving on!

There were indeed fifteen of them, since Charlotte had counted as they jogged past her and down the corridor.

As the last of the marines disappeared from the hallway (still singing, by the way) Lennon was the first to snap out of it.

"What the _hell_ was that about?"

Charlotte waved after the jogging marines, a wistful, dazed look on her face. "I dunno...whatever it was, why is it that sort of thing never happens to us at home?"

Lennon looked at Charlotte warily, "Do you really have to ask?"

"No...I suppose not."

Dawn was still staring off after the departing men, blinking rapidly, trying to regain some of her senses, which had seemed to have completely deserted her during the last few minutes.

After several seconds of silence, she let out a heavy, dreamy sigh. Clearly, she was the most affected by the event that had just transpired.

"I used to have this dream as a kid," the blonde mused breathily, "I was locked in a bakery overnight and there were goodies _all_ around. Pastries and pies and chocolate éclairs and-"

Lennon looked at Dawn reprovingly, "No butter, no pastry. We're on a diet."

-------------------

A/N:I'm happy with this chapter. No, seriously. The last few I was like 'Meh', but this one I like. I feel like I'm getting back to this story's roots. Less character driven, more _plot_ driven. I was just giving everyone free reign to develop instead of push the plot. I love my characters, don't get me wrong, but it was getting to the point where I was getting sick to death with the sight of them. I got to work in several little pop culture refs that I've been dying to do, which makes me happy. If you can tell me where Wittgenstein's Banana Paradox is from, I'll...uh...write you a fic request. Yeah. That'll work.

And no fair cheating by looking for it online! -wags a finger at readers-

Ok, ok...I'm about to admit something very embarrassing that inspired this chapter.

A couple of days ago, I was in my office chair, at my computer, and the local track team (_very_ local, the campus is just a couple of blocks that way -points-) jogged _right_ past my open window.

I leaned so far back in my chair that I tipped over and hit the floor. -head desk-

Oh! And someone's actually taken up the Bunny Buster Vacay challenge! Yayness! It's by nwfairy! Can't wait to see what she does with it.


	39. Trials, Tribbles And Teammates

If you read chapter thirty eight before, you might want to go back and read it again. After I posted it the first time, I went back and tweaked it quite a bit. Lots of questions about where 'Wittgenstein's Banana Paradox' is from. It's from Steve Martin's book 'Pure Drivel', which is one of the most witty things I've ever read. Go to your local library and look for it. The chapters I heartily endorse are 'Writing Is Easy', 'Shrodinger's Cat', 'A Word From The Words' and about half a dozen other little bits of brilliance. Go find the book. I promise, you won't be disappointed.

Oh, and the 'Doo wa diddy diddy dum diddy doo' thing is a nod to the movie 'Stripes'. Bill Murray equals My heart -flutters eyelashes and swoons-

Onward!

---------------------

McKay was stuffing his face uncouthly within seconds of hitting the food storage room. The Busters, on the other hand, took a more refined approach to finding sustenance.

"Alright...grab a few bites and stock up on stuff we can take with us around the city," Charlotte said authoritatively.

"Can do," Lennon replied as she lunged at a grain sack filled with some type of alien foodstuffs. She was absolutely starving. After all, she had put out the most physical exertion over the past day, and as such, her stomach was screaming for attention.

Dawn had already found a few power bars and had shoved a piece of one in her mouth as she packed a few more away, and Charlotte had come across some sort of native fruit, which she peeled open and took a bite of.

The geek sifted through the sack for a few more minutes before deciding that whatever was in this one, wasn't all that appealing, and she moved onto another.

Something small and fluffy popped out of the bag and Lennon screamed and scrambled away, her hunger completely forgotten in her moment of panic.

"What?" Charlotte was on her feet in less than a second with her gun drawn, "What is it? A bunny?"

Lennon just flailed an arm at the little ball of fur and made an unhappy squeaking noise, "_Worse_!"

Dawn too got to her feet, drawing her gun, "What could be worse than a bunny?"

Charlotte placed her gun back in it's holster as she approached the little ball of brown fluff. She sighed, carefully picking it up off the ground and gave it a pat, which resulted in the small animal giving a purr, "It's just a tribble."

McKay, who hadn't stopped stuffing his face during this exchange, looked at Lennon pointedly, "You freaked out over a _tribble_?"

"Well, it startled me!" Lennon replied hotly, "And you're one to talk, Mister 'screamed and squealed like a schoolgirl' at the sight of a bunny!"

"Who told you that?" McKay asked, narrowing his eyes dangerously.

"No one had to tell me that, it was a part of the first chapter voice over," Lennon replied sarcastically, "Duh."

McKay stuffed another Power Bar in his mouth and glared at the geek.

Charlotte moved towards Lennon with the small animal still in her hand. The tribble made a trilling noise and shook violently, "Are you _sure_ you're not a Klingon, Lenny?" Charlotte pushed the small fluffy animal at the geek, who recoiled and took several steps back, almost tripping over McKay in the process.

"Positive! Keep that thing away from me! I _hate_ tribbles!"

Dawn approached Charlotte and carefully put out her hand to touch the small creature. It purred and cuddled up to her hand, which made her grin, "I've never seen a tribble before...how could you not like it, Lenny? It's cute."

"Oh yeah, it's _reeeeeal_ cute," Lennon gestured widely, "Right up until some idiot writes a genetically engineered, rabid, fanged tribble and all hell breaks loose."

"It wasn't _that_ bad, Len," Charlotte replied, "It could have been much worse."

"Worse? WORSE?" Lennon asked, her mouth dropping open in disbelief, "I was stuck in sickbay for three days after the beast attacked me! I still have the scar!" Lennon rolled one of her sleeves up to show off the three inch line of white scarred flesh on her shoulder.

Charlotte lifted an eyebrow, "I didn't hear you complaining about all that extra time you got to spend with McCoy though."

Lennon's face turned bright red, not out of embarrassment, but out of anger, "That-I-it wasn't like that!"

"Geez, Lenny. You've got a guy in every fandom, don't you?" Dawn asked teasingly.

Lennon snapped her jaw and narrowed her dark eyes at her teammates, "I most certainly do _not_."

"She's been called the Kirk of the APBA," Charlotte snickered.

The geek spared her commanding officer a nasty glare, "Watch it with that. I still have that Hercules Universe photo, remember?"

"I'll see your Herc photo and raise you a Cleo 'Verse video," Charlotte replied with a smirk, which only served to anger Lennon more.

"Oh yeah?" Lennon said haughtily, throwing out her chest in an offensive gesture, "Alright, how 'bout that sonic blaster you 'borrowed' from...who was it again? Solo, wasn't it?"

"Shall we talk about that flux capacitor on your mantle?" Charlotte countered, "I'm sure the disciplinary committee would just _love_ to hear about you making off with fandom tech."

Lennon glared even more fiercely, "It's not like Doctor Brown didn't have a _spare._"

"Uh huh." Charlotte scratched the tribble where she thought the spot behind it's ears was before continuing, "Enough about that though." She held up the tribble, which once again made a squealing noise as it was brought a few inches closer to Lennon, and she recoiled, "You know what this means, don't you?"

"That Lenny and small balls of fluff don't mix?" Dawn asked teasingly.

Charlotte lifted an eyebrow, "_Aside_ from that...it means we've got another crossover in progress. Trek 'Verse, this time. Otherwise this little guy wouldn't be here."

"Oh _fantastic_," Lennon growled, "This week just gets better and better."

"And I-asjgfajhsdgfSDJHFLKJASHF"

Charlotte blinked and slapped both her hands over her lips, dropping the poor abused tribble in the process, unsure as to what just came out of her mouth.

"What just happened?" Dawn asked, clearly confused by her CO's unintelligible outburst.

"Sorry," a disembodied voice from above said sheepishly, "A spider dashed across my keyboard."

McKay was about to speak, since he hadn't said anything in over twenty paragraphs, when suddenly-

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

The four occupants of the room were all on their feet within seconds, guns trained on the woman who had just bounded through the storage room doorway abruptly.

No one knows _why_ she chose that precise moment to burst through the open door, nor does anyone know _why_ the aforementioned door was open in the first place, or why she had entered with an old Monty Python standby, but she did.

She was short, maybe about five foot one, and her hair was a murky, muddy brown, with eyes to match. She had been smiling when she entered, but now, at the sight of the four gun barrels bearing down on her, her face dropped into an expression of worry.

She put both her hands up, showing that she wasn't a threat. "Uh, hello," She said nervously, her accent clearly indicating she was from Cheshire, "I'm not..uh...there's really no need to get your knickers in a twist."

Dawn narrowed her eyes. "A Sue?" she asked cautiously.

Lennon looked the other woman over, "No...not a Sue. Too short and squat to be a _Sue._"

"I resent that, mate." The Englishwoman said, her hands still up in a position of submission.

"Resent away," the geek twitched her head at the short woman across from her, "Who are you?"

"Uh...Emma," the brunette said nervously, "Emma Ashton. APBA team one sixteen."

Lennon and Dawn glanced at each other, "You're with the agency?" Dawn asked, her pale brows furrowing, "We didn't send for back up."

"Uh..well, no...we're not here as back up. We're in the middle of an RFS."

Charlotte didn't drop her weapon so much as a centimeter, "Show me some identification."

"Certainly...if you'd be so kind as to not shoot me when I move." Emma reached into her vest pocket and withdrew a small wallet bearing the visage of the British flag, "Here."

Charlotte snapped the wallet out of the other woman's hand and read aloud, "Emma Ashton, Anti Plot Bunny Agency, Agent Number Ten Thirteen, Team ID Code One Sixteen. Approved Fandoms: Comedy/Sci-Fi/Fantasy."

Lennon snatched the small billfold out of Charlotte's hand, reading over all the fine print at the bottom of the ID which was _so_ small, it included the words 'If you can read this, you don't need glasses'.

"Looks real enough." Lennon flicked her eyes back to Emma, "But I've seen good forgeries of APBA badges and IDs before. Who's your team leader?"

A head popped inside the storage room, dirty blonde, and belonging to a woman about as tall as McKay, "That would be me...sadly."

Her accent was thicker than Emma's, but not to the point she wasn't understandable, "Let me guess...she bounded into the room with that Spanish Inquisition rubbish again?"

Dawn looked at her teammates and mouthed the word 'Again?' as the English commander continued, "So sorry about that. Emma's a bit on the...eccentric side."

A snort followed from behind the English commanding officer who had just entered the room, "That'd be the understatement of the century." Another woman, this one with reddish hair entered behind the blonde commander.

"We're with the UK division."

Lennon looked at them with mock sympathy, "You have my sincerest apologies."

The youngest of the English women looked at her two companions, "Why do they always say that?"

Emma spoke out of the corner of her mouth stealthily, "They're Americans...they just don't get it."

"Hey, I resent that," Lennon said snootily, "Monty Python makes _perfect_ sense to me, and if you suggest otherwise again, I'll be forced to slap you with a fish."

The three Englishwomen smiled at each other briefly at Lennon's statement.

Charlotte sighed heavily, things becoming quite clear to her. "Alright girls, they're clearly with the UK subdivision, relax," she stated, holstering her weapon reluctantly.

Lennon kept her gun trained on the three women for half a second more before dropping it from eye level, "What're they doing _here_ then?"

One of the Busters standing opposite to the geek spoke up, the one with the reddish hair, "Random Fandom Sweep. We uh...we misplaced some of our canons." She gave a wan smile, "I don't suppose you've seen them, have you?"

Dawn gave the three strangers a suspicious glance before she finally put her gun away, "What do they look like?"

"Well, there's one chap with bad hair and even worse fashion sense with fangs," one of the other UK division busters replied.

"And another fellow with a face that's sort of...sort of..." Emma gestured with her hands, waving them over her face, "His features are what you might call...blocky."

"Oh! And then there's one who's got a big letter 'H' stuck to his forehead," the third chimed in.

Lennon shoved her nine millimeter into the waistband of her pants with a sigh. "Red Dwarf 'Verse," she stated at the puzzled glance that Dawn gave her.

"Oh, you know it?" The UK commanding officer asked, interested.

"Lennon and I had a brief stint there during a crossover," Charlotte answered simply, "We were stuck there for six hours or so when some idiot mixed the I-Man fandom with the BBC."

"Lennon? As in..." the blonde Brit shook her head in disbelief, "Not Lennon _Fisk_?"

The geek crossed her arms over her chest, "You know of any _other_ chicks with the first name 'Lennon'? If so, I'd like to meet 'em and start up a support group."

"I thought they forced you into retirement after that last disciplinary hearing, Fisk," the UK commander said easily.

"Meh," Lennon replied dismissively, "They gave it the old college try, but I'm still here."

"So if you're Fisk," the British commander turned to Charlotte, "Then you must be Walker, right?"

Charlotte inclined her head ever so slightly to indicate the affirmative.

"Well, blimey...you lot are one of the most effective American Buster teams there is," Emma said, her tone belying wonderment, "Never thought we'd get to actually do a meet and greet with you."

Charlotte looked at the other two busters whose names had yet to be revealed, "You seem to have us at a disadvantage, ladies. You know us, but we don't know you."

The commander looked horrified momentarily, "Of course...so sorry, I seem to have forgotten my manners. Commander Kensington."

The reddish haired UK division Buster gave a small smile, "Josephine Reef."

"Kensington? Reef? You..you...you're both legends in the Doctor Who and Hitchhiker's fandoms!" Dawn said in awe, "I read all about your exploits at the academy."

"Required reading now, is it?" Josephine asked, amusement coloring her tone.

"Extra credit work, actually," Dawn replied, blushing slightly, "But it was fascinating just the same."

An insistent beeping halted the conversation between the two teams.

"Hold on." The UK commander yanked a small radio off it's clip on her belt, "Kensington here."

There was a lot of garbled static and a seemingly nonsensical Aussie raving from the other end of the walkie talkie.

Although the three American Busters couldn't make heads or tails of what was said, the UK commander seemed to understand the ranting Autralian perfectly, "Right. Yes. We'll be there."

Kensington clicked the walkie talkie off and turned to her teammates, "Our rogue canons have been found. Buffy Verse."

The other two UK Busters groaned, "Not _again_."

The UK commander made a face, "I know, I know, but we have to retrieve them."

Kensington turned back to Charlotte and the others, "Well, it was nice meeting you. Maybe we'll run into each other at HQ some time." The British CO gave a 'Come on' gesture with one of her hands before leaving, her teammates trailing behind her.

"Well, _that_ was weird," Lennon said unnecessarily.

Dawn was about to reply when Emma poked her head back into the room, "Uh, I forgot to ask, have you seen a tribble any where abouts? Answers to the name of Isadore?"

Charlotte looked from one teammate to the other before leaning over and scooping up the small ball of fluff that was next to her foot, "I don't know if he answers to Isadore or not, but he's the only one we've come across."

Emma squealed happily and snatched the animal from Charlotte, "Oh Isadore! You had me so worried!"

"Wait..it's your _pet_?" McKay asked disbelievingly.

"Yes, what's the matter with that? I-"

"Emma, come on!"

The brunette turned towards the sound of the voice coming from the corridor, "Coming!" She flicked her gaze to Charlotte once more with a grin on her face, "Thanks, Walker." She dashed from the room, waving behind her, "See you girls around!"

The three American Busters sighed in unison, "Definitely a weird day."

--------------

A/N:Blah. I don't know. I was stuck, this is what came out. Might delete it later, I can't really tell if it's funny or not. I'm really like, massively tired right now. A friend of mine asked me to code a few layouts for her, so I did and now I'm so uber pooped from staying up all night, I'm not sure which way is up.

It's the same direction as the ceiling, right?

It's been ages since I coded anything and I forgot just how much I love doing it. So it's that nice, happy kind of exhaustion.

I'm currently working on two different companion fics to this one:'The Anti Plot Bunny Agency Handbook' and 'From The Files Of The Plot Bunny Busters'.

'Handbook' is just that, a copy of the handbook which the APBA agents receive after graduating from the academy, which details different bunny species, the tools of the trade etc. The first entry is already up on my LJ (omg, I used my LJ...the world is definitely going to end!) but it needs polish.

'Files' is the case files from various missions to different fandoms. Each chapter will serve as a one-shot look at the adventures of the busters within a fandom.

Now I just need ideas as to _which_ fandoms I should cover. Which ones would _you_ like to see? And what sorts of things do you want to see them tackle? I'm open to any and _all_ suggestions.

Alright, before we go any further, I have to say one thing.

If I get a single PM asking me what a tribble is, so help me God I'm gonna haul off and hit somebody. It was bad enough when I got twenty PMs asking about Mel Brooks, and then forty or so about The Lone Gunmen, but if you don't know what a tribble is...you shouldn't be allowed to breathe.

Seriously. You're taking up the valuable oxygen that smart people like _me_ need to survive.

This chapter was inspired by the events that occurred a couple of nights ago. See, the local public broadcasting station shows British comedies every Saturday, and I happened to be flipping channels, waiting for Stargate to come on in syndication, and I came across an MPFC Spanish Inquisition sketch. Of course I just _had_ to flail and go 'Omg! PYTHON!' and watch it. My roomie kinda looked at me funny as I laughed hysterically at the fish slapping sketch that came on after and said 'I don't get it.'

BOOM, a plot bunny fell in my lap, and thusly the UK Busters division was born. 'Cause I know several Brits online who always act like, so shocked that I _get_ Python and Benny Hill and stuff because honestly, Americans just don't seem to get it. Plus, I saw the opportunity to put a reference to one of my favorite shows (well, I used to watch it when they still had it on here) Red Dwarf. No, seriously. I loved it. Really. Had to give it a little mention.

Uh..what else? I named Josephine Reef after Reefgirl, one of my most faithful reviewers who's been with me from the start and happens to be from the UK. Plus, I liked the name. Hope you don't mind, dear! The tribble's named after my favorite teddy bear, who, in turn is named after Isadore (Friz) Freling (Warner Brothers Cartoon director).

Oh, and if you're an Aussie, please don't take offense at the whole 'seemingly nonsensical ravings' thing. I have a friend who's from down under, and her accent throws me off sometimes, _badly_. I'd be listening to her when she's excited and I hear 'blah blah blah no worries mate blah blah blah.'


	40. Citrus And Discord

Lennon had found something edible and had hunkered down in a corner as far from McKay as humanly possible to eat while she looked at the schematics for various Wraith and Ancient technologies, looking for _something_ that she might be able to use as a viable power source for the restoration device. The itching in her leg had gotten worse during the night, and she suspected it was because of her continued exposure and close proximity to McKay. So, she had decided that staying as far away from him as possible would be the best course of action for a while. The ship feelings hadn't resurfaced as of yet, but she wasn't about to take any chances.

It was for this reason that when Charlotte suggested that they split up in teams of two, herself with Dawn and McKay with Lennon, the geek sputtered and ended up spitting some of her water on herself.

"NO!" Lennon protested a bit too strongly, "We can't split up like _that_. In fact, you know what? Let's not split up at all."

"But Lenny, you're the one who wants to get out of here so badly," Charlotte narrowed her eyes suspiciously at the geek, "If we split up we can shave off a bit of time. I mean, we're going to be stuck here for quite a while anyway, what with you having to set up the restoration device and all."

"Uh," Lennon chuckled uneasily, "Yeah...about that..."

Charlotte quirked an eyebrow, "What?"

"Um...the power source had a little accident during my fight with Beckett."

"Is it damaged?" Dawn asked worriedly.

The geek barely contained a sarcastic remark along the lines of 'Of course it's damaged you idiot, why else would I be mentioning it' and opted instead to hold up her thumb and forefinger a few centimeters apart and say, "Just a smidge."

Charlotte withdrew her trademark cigar from her pocket, which was beginning to feel left out as a character defining accessory since it hadn't made an appearance in several chapters, placed it between her lips and set it alight, "A 'smidge'...so then it's useless."

Lennon winced and nodded.

Charlotte stared off into space momentarily, gnawing on her cigar in a very thoughtful way. She turned to look directly at the geek, "Fisk, come with me...we need to have a little chat." and walked out into the hallway.

The aforementioned geek gulped nervously. This was bad. Being called by her last name was _bad_. Being called into a private conference with her CO was _bad_. The way that Charlotte had looked at her was _bad_.

Bad, bad, bad, bad, **_BAD_**.

Hesitating for only a moment, she straightened her posture and followed Charlotte out into the corridor, expecting the very worst.

-----------------

"Alright, you know what you're supposed to do, right?" Anti Lennon spoke to the small bluish gray bunny, Bartlett.

She twitched her little pink nose, indicating the affirmative.

The Anti Lennon put her hands on her hips in a satisfied way, "Good."

The evil bunny hopped away, on her way to her own little mission.

---------------

Lennon stepped out into the corridor to see Charlotte leaning nonchalantly against the wall to her left, puffing away on her cigar.

"What gives, Lenny?"

Lennon tried to keep the shock from showing on her face, "Huh?"

Charlotte pegged a finger at Lennon accusingly, "Something isn't right with you today."

Lennon snorted, "Only today?" she muttered under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothin'." Lennon stubbed her toe into the floor childishly, "What do you want, Charlie?"

Charlotte narrowed her eyes, "I want to know what's going on with you...I'm your CO, you should be able to tell me."

Lennon scoffed, "Oh honestly, Charlotte, you'd think I wasn't capable of taking care of myself or something! Besides, what gives you the idea I'm not acting perfectly normal?"

"Lenny, the Restoration Device Power Source was badly damaged yesterday and you only _just_ told me." Charlotte looked at Lennon pointedly, "The Lenny Fisk _I_ know would have started bitching and moaning about having to find a new power source immediatly, not waited until the next day."

The geek rolled her eyes, "I forgot, ok? I'm allowed to forget stuff like that every once in a while...especially with all the stuff we've had to deal with over the past twenty four hours."

Charlotte still didn't look convinced, "I suppose. Still, Lenny, I wish you'd have told me right away. I need to be kept in the loop at all times."

Lennon had the good grace to look ashamed, "I...I'm s-" she tried to force out the word, "I'm s-so-sorr...damn it. I was wro-..that is to say, I was wro-wro-GAH! You get the idea! It wont happen again."

Charlotte looked at Lennon appraisingly, still unconvinced, but decided to let it go for now, "Alright, Lenny."

-------------------

Once again, Dawn and McKay were left to their own devices. Why _they_ kept ending up stuck together was anybody's guess, but they did.

Hey, hey, hey, minds OUT of the gutter if you please!

McKay was tapping his foot impatiently, getting more antsy by the moment, while Dawn tried to figure out something to say. This whole being left alone with a nutty canon thing was getting old.

And she had concluded that he _was_ nutty. He kept looking at Lennon when she wasn't paying attention.

Of course, maybe that's because he was trying to place where he knew her from.

Or maybe not...

McKay rubbed the palm of one of his hands, wondering why it was itching like he'd recently grabbed hold of a handful of poison ivy. He didn't remember touching anything that might have given him an allergic reaction lately, and he didn't believe in that garbage that if your right hand itches you'll soon be receiving something, but it was itching like _crazy_.

Dawn noticed McKay's discomfort, and wondered briefly if both he and Lennon had touched something which was making them itch, as she had noticed Lennon scratching her calf every now and then.

Again, the clear signs of a Ship Arrow Infection Reassertion went unnoticed by the newb.

Really, one has to wonder if she even _glanced_ at the handbook before diving into the fandoms.

"What's taking them so long?" McKay asked, annoyed that Lennon was out of his sight.

Wait..where did _that_ come from?

"I don't know...I could go check if-"

"No, no. Let them have their little girl talk."

Dawn snorted in a most unladylike manner, "I know for a fact that Lennon doesn't _do_ girl talk."

McKay scratched his palm again.

"Uh...you want a piece of gum?" Dawn asked, breaking the uneasy silence as she withdrew a package from her pants pocket.

McKay glanced at her and shrugged, putting his hand out to receive the small paper wrapped parcel.

Lennon and Charlotte chose this particular point in time to re-enter the small room that the other two were currently occupying.

Dawn popped a piece of gum in her mouth before holding out the package to her fellow busters, "Gum?"

Charlotte shook her head while Lennon stared from the package that Dawn was offering, to McKay who was about to pop his piece into his mouth.

"No!" Lennon shouted, panic tainting her tone. She snatched the candy directly from McKay's hand.

"Hey!" McKay groused, "That's mine, get your own!" He tried to grab it from Lennon but she elbowed him in the ribs _hard_, keeping him from the candy.

"What the hell are you thinking?" Lennon asked angrily, turning on Dawn, quite certain that she was seeing red as she kept McKay from grabbing the gum from her hand, "Are you _trying_ to kill him?"

"What? What did I do?" Dawn asked, looking frightened at the geek's uncharacteristically vicious outburst and the resulting physical squabble that was going on between Lennon and McKay as he tried to grab the gum from her.

"Stop it!" she elbowed him again and he growled, "This is for your own good, you goof!"

Lennon pointed to a bit of the small writing in the ingredients list as she shoved the bubblegum package in Dawn's face, still keeping McKay at bay, "Citric Acid, you moron! He's allergic!" She turned back to McKay who had stopped struggling suddenly and met Lennon's gaze, clearly shocked, "He would've been dead in minutes!"

Dawn looked horrified at her almost fatal (literally) mistake, "H-how was I supposed to know?"

"You were the one who spent so much quality time with his personnel file, Dawn!" Lennon exclaimed, "Or were you so busy drooling over Beckett that you failed to notice the allergy part of the file?"

"HEY!" Dawn shouted angrily, "I was NOT drooling!"

"Oh _puleaze_, you were too," the geek snarked, "You shoulda had a paper towel to mop all of it up!"

"Hold it," Charlotte said calmly.

"You almost killed the only unaffected canon we've got! We would have had to scrub the mission!"

"Hold it, Lenny!"

"How exactly did _you_ know that he was deathly allergic to citrus, hmm?" Dawn asked, getting right up in Lennon's face.

"I..he...THATS NOT THE POINT!" Lennon shouted, stepping directly into Dawn's personal space, giving her a shove at the shoulders.

Dawn shoved Lennon back.

"HOLD IT! BOTH OF YOU!" Charlotte stepped in between the two arguing comrades, "Something is wrong here!"

"I'll say it is!" Lennon screamed, "This incompetent nincompoop almost cost me McK-the MISSION!"

"LENNY!" Charlotte grabbed hold of Lennon's shoulders and shook her, "Get ahold of yourself!"

Lennon shrugged out of Charlotte's grasp and swore at her colorfully, in both English and Yiddish.

"Lennon! You _will_ get control of yourself or else you'll be facing another disciplinary hearing!"

"Screw you!" Lennon shouted, "You power obsessed control freak of a-"

Charlotte slapped Lennon across the face, stunning her to the point that she managed to lose track of what she was saying.

Lennon blinked twice, "You...you hit me." She touched her slightly reddened cheek, a little bit dazed.

"McKay," Charlotte said evenly, holding on to one Lennon's shoulders once again, her other hand pressed to Dawn's chest, keeping her several feet away from the geek, "Take your gun...go out in the corridor."

"Me?" McKay asked, pointing at himself in disbelief, "You want _me_ to-"

"Yes, _you_. Go."

McKay brought his gun up and twitched his way to the door, poking his head out momentarily, "There's one of those not-quite-a-bunny-things _looking_ at me!"

"What's it look like?" Charlotte asked, still keeping a firm grip on either teammate.

"Bluish gray...beady evil little eyes, pink twitchy nose."

Charlotte's eyes closed momentarily, "A Discord Bunny. Of course."

The redheaded commander turned to look at McKay as Lennon and Dawn glared at each other, quite ready to lunge at the slightest provocation, "Take care of it."

McKay's eyebrows shot up into his hairline (quite a feat since it was receding), "What do you mean ta-"

"Shoot it!" Charlotte answered anxiously.

McKay brought his weapon up and squeezed the trigger on his nine millimeter.

A small squeal and 'Shluck' noise followed. McKay had to turn away, wincing.

Both Lennon and Dawn shook their heads as the feelings of discord drained from them. They were both breathing rather hard.

Charlotte let go of both her comrades, convinced that the effects of the Discord Bunny were wearing off. They were still a little dazed and confused.

"What...what just happened?" Dawn asked, confusedly, "I was ready to _kill_ you!"

"Me too," Lennon replied, shoving her glasses up on her head, pushing her palms to her eye sockets until she saw spots, "It was the bunny."

Several minutes passed as Charlotte allowed the two to recover. McKay looked on, feeling...something...he was unsure what.

Lennon gulped, the gears in her head working at full speed, "I'll be right back," and stepped out into the hallway.

For some reason, McKay very nearly followed after her, but Charlotte did instead.

She found Lennon had slid down the wall to the floor and had her head in her hands. Charlotte chose not to say anything, knowing what was coming and knowing that Lennon would bring it up when she was ready.

"This is bad," Lennon said quietly, finally breaking the uneasy silence, "It wouldn't have affected me that way unless-"

"Lenny...it's not possible," Charlotte replied in a whisper, "She's _dead_."

Lennon looked up at her CO, worry etched on her features, "Her double isn't."

------------------

A/N:La la la la...ok..I had something _else_ planned for this chapter, but this idea pushed its way into WordPad and refused to leave.

I want to offer my sincerest apologies for killing off Elizabeth Bartlett's bunny...it was necessary, I swear! I also want to say how sorry I am for not updating in a week (shocking, isn't it?) but real life got in the way..I promise not to let that happen again XD Next chapter coming...uh, since most of it's already written, probably tomorrow. I dunno...now that this has taken an angsty turn, the comedy I had planned really wont work without some retooling...dang it.

Any good? Worth the wait?


	41. AAAAAAAAAAH!

Optional, but I think it's pretty funny.

-----

Techie was sitting quietly at her desk, a mug of hot coffee on the TV tray next to her thrift store chair. The only illumination in the small bedroom (and it _was_ small, even by Techie's standards) was coming from the black Compaq monitor, which had half a dozen action figures sitting atop it along with a model of Nessy, a yellow legal pad and a brand new copy of 'Pirates Of The Caribbean', which remained unopened, and as such, unwatched.

The woman at her computer stopped her typing for a moment and slid her glasses off, rubbing her eyes. It was late, she noted when she looked at the clock in the lower right hand corner of the screen, close to four in the morning and she really needed to catch a couple of hours of sleep by dawn.

But she only had a few sentences to go...slumber could wait that long. After all, she'd been functioning on less than three hours of solid sleep for the past three months, one more night wouldn't really matter.

A small scuffling sound caused Techie's head to perk up in a very small-nervous-animal way. She slipped her headphones off, interrupting the sounds of Rodney Dangerfield, and looked around, suddenly very alert.

Maybe her roommate was up?

No...that house shaking snoring was a clear indication that she was indeed still asleep.

"Eheheh...just my imagination," Techie chuckled nervously. She tried to take her mind off whatever it was that had made the noise and replaced her headphones on her ears.

She resumed her typing, pushing all the anxiety that had cropped up at the unknown sound away.

She was halfway finished with those 'last few sentences' which were quickly turning into five thousand words, when the same sound caused her to look up.

This time, she was greeted by something that horrified her.

She was staring directly at a bunny.

A Pastel Striped, evil looking little bunny was standing in her bedroom doorway, twitching its nose at her.

"Alright...that's it. I've lost it this time. Mad. Loopy. Strange in the head. Three fries short of a happy meal bonzo." Techie's eyes were huge behind her glasses as she stared at the intruder, "The sleep deprivation has finally caught up with me."

The bunny twitched its head and several other small strangely colored and attired rabbits hopped into her dark doorway behind it.

Techie gulped, instinctively knowing exactly where this was going.

There were bunnies of all shapes, sizes and colors.

And she recognized each and every one.

After all, she _had_ created them, she damn well better know what they looked like.

There was one towards the back, brown and wearing a waistcoat with a funny warped looking pocket watch, while another was brightly rainbow colored and another that was decked out in mistletoe and holly. Two pink rabbits with white fluffy wings, with bows and small heart shaped arrows strapped to their backs were bringing up the rear, looking at Techie menacingly.

"Time travel bunnies...slash bunnies...oh God, Holiday!fic bunnies!" Techie exclaimed in a harsh whisper as she scooted her chair back away from the animals, "And shipper bunnies too!"

The evil little leader bunny looked at its companions and they all seemed to nod in unison.

Techie looked around desperately for any means of escape, but alas, there was none to be found in the small room. The bunnies had blocked off both exits.

"What're you-no! Wait!"

The bunny crowd advanced and as one, attacked the unassuming author, all of them piling on her at once.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

------------------

Techie sat up in bed screaming.

It took her several seconds to realize what had just happened.

She let out a squeak and buried her head in her hands, shaking the bunny related dream away.

Dream, dream, it was all just a dream.

She reached for her glasses, slipped them on and glanced around the room.

No arrows, no bunnies, no nothing.

Ok...definitely a dream.

Thank God.

She flopped back on the mattress and took several deep breaths, wondering if it was time for a vacation from the Plot Bunnies since they were starting to take over her life to the point that she was _dreaming_ of them.

"What the _hell_ was that?" She asked no one in particular as she shut her eyes.

Why had those particular bunnies reared their ugly heads? What was her subconscious trying to tell her?

Shipper Bunnies...wasn't she already having enough trouble with those little beasties? And Time Travel Bunnies as well...

Oh and Slash...we mustn't forget that _those_ were in there too. How about those Holiday!fic Bunnies?

Just as her eyes had slid shut, they flew open again.

Techie sat up in bed so fast she heard her spine make an unhealthy cracking noise.

"By Bruce Campbell I think I got it!"

A new idea had just hit her...

Actually, several new ideas.

For several new stories.

Oh grand.

-----------------

A/N:I woke up this way this morning. I swear. I actually _had_ that dream. Now, either I _am_ going nuts, or else I'm spending too much time in my own nutty 'verse.

Nah...no such thing. Must be going crazy.

And I really do say "By Bruce Campbell!" I like it better than "By George!" I mean, who's this _George_ guy anyway?

God I'm strange -.-;

OH! Before I forget, _again_, I have two new pieces of fanart! Check out the WPBA forum to see them, they rock my socks!


	42. Tag, You're It!

"What do you mean it didn't work?" Anti Madison asked angrily, "Where's my bunny?"

"Gone," Anti Charlotte replied coldly, "A casualty in the ongoing war."

The Anti Madison stomped a foot into the ground and made a very unattractive face.

"Don't do that," Anti Lennon said boredly, "You'll get wrinkles."

Anti Madison quickly stopped scowling, relaxing her facial muscles and forcing a smile.

"You'll get wrinkles with _that_ face too, you know," Anti Lennon stated as she fiddled with the piece of tech in her hand.

Anti Madison pouted, "Not fair...why did it have to be _my_ bunny?"

"She works in mysterious ways," Anti Lennon replied thoughtlessly, punching a few buttons on her tablet PC, "Besides, if you had listened to _me_ in the first place, this wouldn't have happened."

"Are you _sure_ this plan of yours is going to work?"

The pink attired geek sent a glare in the brunette's direction, "Of course I'm sure. I ought to know what will work against _myself_, right?"

Anti Madison crossed her arms over her chest haughtily, "In theory."

"Then let me do my work."

-----------------

Some time later, the four companions were discussing their next move as they poured over maps of the city.

"Ok, if we all go through here," Dawn pointed at a corridor on the map, "We should be able to branch off separately here-" she pointed to a fork in the corridor, "And then regroup a little ways down the line."

Lennon chewed at her bottom lip anxiously, "I still don't like the idea of us splitting up again. Not after-"

Charlotte shook her head, "We have new objectives now, Lennon. You _have_ to find a power source. The faster the better."

Lennon made a face, "I don't think that'll be all that easy. From what little of the Ancient technology I've seen, I don't think it'll be compatible with _my_ tech."

"Lenny, I've never known _you_ to be unable to make tech work, regardless of the situation." Charlotte gestured at McKay, "Besides, you have the smartest canon in the 'verse able to help you."

McKay's chest puffed out half an inch further that it was supposed to go out of sheer pride.

"Way to pump up the already over inflated ego, Charlie," Lennon said, not missing the swelling that McKay's head was doing at that particular compliment.

"How many Naqaudah generators do you guys have on base here?" Lennon asked suddenly, turning to McKay.

"Seven, but six of those are powering the city."

"Ugh," Lennon groaned, "So that's only one spare available to us...we'll need three at least, just to power up the RD."

"There are a few more onboard the Daedelus, you know." McKay said, looking at Lennon as though she were being dense.

"The Daedelus? Did you just say the _Daedelus_?" Lennon asked, her jaw coming very close to hitting the floor.

"Are you suffering from hearing loss? Yes the _Daedelus_."

"Damn it!" Lennon slammed her fist into the floor she was sitting on, immediatly regretting it as it made her hand feel as though it had just been crushed. She shook it out and groused, "That's another two days of sweeps at least!"

"Keep it down, Lenny."

"Charlotte, we just keep getting deeper and deeper! This is ridiculous! It's like the whole city is collapsing! And I-"

The hairs on the back of Lennon's neck prickled suddenly and everything went dead silent.

"Did you feel that?" She asked the other occupants of the room.

There was a rumble and the ground shook slightly.

"Lenny, I don't think you should have mentioned the city collapsing," Dawn said nervously.

"That isn't funny!"

Another deep boom erupted from somewhere outside the small room.

"It sounds," Charlotte blinked a few times, "It sounds like a _storm_."

A thunder crack that seemed to shake the entire base followed the CO's statement.

The four got to their feet, Dawn snatching up the maps in the process, and with Charlotte in the lead, stepped outside into the corridor.

They made their way to the nearest open space with a window and looked out.

A nasty storm was brewing.

_Beyond_ nasty. It was like a hurricane. A flood. A-

"It can't be!" McKay exclaimed in disbelief, "We aren't due for another storm for twenty years!"

Lennon's eyes were wide as she glanced at McKay, "Why, did you have one recently?"

"Yes! Last year!" Lightning flashed its way across the sky, cutting a deep jagged pattern into the clouds.

"Did anything...unusual, aside from the storm I mean, happen at the time?"

"The base was over taken by the Genii." He answered, watching the clouds as rain started pelting the window they were standing in front of.

The three Busters looked at each other in panic. "Oh God, it's a tag."

"Break out your taggers, heat 'em up!" Charlotte shouted as she dropped her pack to the ground.

The other two followed suit and pulled identical grungy, oversized (so much so that they were rather cartoonish) copper colored guns out of their packs.

"I don't understand," McKay said anxiously, still staring out the window, "All of our meteorological data told us that this wouldn't happen again for ages!"

Lennon stood up, gun in hand and grabbed hold of McKay's shoulder, "The storm itself isn't what's important. Where did most of the action take place?"

"What do you mean the storm isn't important? LOOK AT IT!" He pointed at the window at the clouds which had managed to spread to the point that they stretched across the horizon.

"I'm telling you, it's not important! You have to tell us where the majority of the action took place between you and the Genii! Where did you have the most contact with them?"

"Control room," McKay replied quickly, "And grounding station three. Mostly grounding station three."

"And which one did _you_ spend the most time at during the most intense exchanges?"

Rodney thought for a second, "Grounding station three. Yes. Definitely."

The geek started to jog in the direction of a corridor which would branch off and allow them to get to either location. "Lets go already!" she shouted behind her.

Another resounding boom sounded and more lightning flashed across the sky as the other three caught up with the tech expert.

"How long do you think we have, Len?" Charlotte shouted over the noise of the ever strengthening storm.

"Fifteen, twenty minutes tops!" The geek replied, not slowing her pace.

"What's going on?" McKay queried, clearly worried and slightly out of breath.

"It's a flood of Tag!fics! People rewriting things that have already been established as canon. Every time someone writes an alternate version of a series of events that's already happened, it weakens the fabric of the fandom's reality! If we don't stop it, this place really _will_ collapse!" Lennon replied as she screeched to a halt when they reached a fork in the corridor.

"Which way?"

Dawn fumbled with the maps, "Grounding station's to the left, control to the right."

"Lenny?"

"We gotta have McKay at the grounding station if that's where the most action took place that he was a witness to," Lennon said, trying to catch her breath after all that running, "You two hit the control room!"

"Lenny!"

"I've done this before!" Lennon grabbed McKay by the collar and started running down the corridor, "Trust me, Charlie!"

--------

It took three minutes for Lennon and McKay to hit grounding station three.

The storm was getting worse, if that was at all possible, the lightning that streaked across the sky grew to blinding proportions.

Lennon stepped out onto the grounding station platform, brought a hand up to shield her eyes from all the water and looked around.

"McKay!" She called out to him, thinking he would've stepped out with her.

She didn't receive an answer so she spun around and found him still inside the doorway from which she had just come.

"McKay! Get out here!"

"I've done this already thanks," he shouted back over the noise, "I'll just stay here!"

Lennon strode up to him, grabbed him by the collar and pulled him along behind her, "I wont know what I'm looking for! I need you for this one!" She pulled him out into the storm.

They stepped out further into the rain, "Is this it?" Lennon asked in a shout while gesturing at the tech in front of her.

"Yeah!"

"Tell me everything that happened here!"

McKay launched into a quick run-down of everything that Kolya had put he and Doctor Weir through during the storm, which Techie was way too pooped to write out as dialogue.

Lennon listened to every detail, picking out bits and pieces in his story which were viable places for missing scenes and tags.

The rain was pelting down on both of them hard, coming down in sheets, much like it had during the Genii siege.

Within seconds of McKay relaying his tale, a soft, blobby shape started to come into focus near the grounding station.

It quickly took the forms of Weir and McKay, both of them crouching down fiddling with the fiber optics of the grounding station.

The McKay that was standing next to Lennon was rendered speechless at the sight.

In fact, you probably could have knocked him over with a feather at this point.

He was watching a scene between himself and Weir, which had happened over a year before. Although, there was something about the dynamic in this _particular_ scene that was _different_ from the one that _he_ remembered.

"If this doesn't work-" The Rodney standing at the grounding station shouted at the Weir standing beside him.

"It will," She shouted back.

"I'm just saying that if it _doesn't_ work-"

"It will!"

"I'm sure it will! But in the unlikely event that it doesn't-I-" The McKay at the grounding station paused for a moment and reached for Weir, taking her in his arms.

Lennon brought her tagger up and fired a shot at the McKay standing by the grounding station just as his lips touched Weir's. A bright orange pulse came from the muzzle of the weapon as she pulled the trigger and it vaporized the Tag!Rodney instantly. The Tag!Weir faded out of sight as soon as Tag!Rodney was gone.

A huge sigh of relief came from Lennon, cut short by a gasp from McKay.

"You-you-you shot me!" McKay squeaked in horror, taking several steps away from Lennon.

Lennon looked at him funny, "No I didn't, you're fine."

"Yes you did, you shot me..that..that OTHER me!"

"I shot an alternate-universe-episode-missing-scene-tag you. Completely different."

Another crack of lightning, brighter than any of the others, flashed and the rain started coming down harder.

Lennon let out a growl of frustration, "It should have worked! The storm should be disappearing!"

The geek's eyes grew huge suddenly, "Damn..oh _daaaaamn_. That wasn't the right tag!" Lennon put a hand on her headset and shouted into it, "Charlie, we have a problem!"

------------

Lennon's voice crackled over the airwaves, her scream translating just barely over all the _other_ noise going on in the control room, "Charlie, we have a problem!"

"Same author, multiple tags! I know!" Charlotte squeezed off a shot, vaporizing a Tag!Kolya as he was about to kill a Tag!McKay with his bare hands.

Dawn was down in the gateroom, keeping other tags from being completed, the McKay Torture!Tag being the nastiest she'd run upon thus far.

"I don't understand!" Charlotte shouted, "We've already kept several tags from being completed! The storm should be gone by now!"

"There's gotta be one that we've missed!" Lennon answered over the com link, "The one that started all of this! Find it!"

"Not again," Charlotte watched as a Tag!Kolya, a Tag!Weir and a Tag!McKay blinked into focus.

"How is this going to help you get what you want?" Tag!Weir asked.

"Sheppard put you in this position," Kolya answered, "Not me."

McKay stepped in front of Weir.

Was that supposed to happen according to canon? Damn it! Charlotte couldn't be sure!

She erred on the side of caution and shot Kolya just as he pulled the trigger on his own weapon. The orange pulse engulfed him and he disappeared, just as the Tag!McKay had at the grounding station.

Mere milliseconds before the bullet from Kolya's gun would have hit McKay in the chest, he blinked back out of existence, sent back to the bowels of 'What Could Have Happened' where he belonged.

"Lenny!" Charlotte shouted over the com as she quickly tromped down the stairs to the gateroom to assist Dawn, "Status!"

-----------

"I'm a little busy, Charlie!" Lennon screamed as she fired another shot at yet _another_ McKay.

Tag! versions of McKay, Weir and Kolya were popping up all over the grounding station faster than she could shoot them. At least since Rodney had told her all the events that had happened here during the storm she knew what was _supposed_ to be happening and what _wasn't_, so that gave her somewhat of an edge.

"I get the feeling that all these McWeir tags are just a distraction from something else!" Lennon said as she shot one of the Tag!Kolyas before he was about to toss a Tag!Rodney over the edge of the railing, "Keep your eyes open for other ships!"

Lennon fired several shots into the growing crowd of Tag!Canons, hitting several and causing several more to phase out as a result.

In minutes the grounding station was empty once more, save for Lennon and the 'real' McKay.

Lennon hadn't relaxed though, all her muscles still remained taut as she waited for the next group of Tag!Canons to materialize.

They never did.

Instead, the storm clouds, which had been heavy, black and pendulous just moment before, faded to a soft, creamy, non-threatening white once more.

The rain slowed until it was nothing more than a few sprinkles, and finally, the sun popped out from behind a cloud.

Lennon brushed her wet hair out of her face and tapped her earpiece, "Charlie, what just happened? Everything alright?"

_--Literally A Few Seconds Earlier--_

Dawn and Charlotte were both in the gate room, watching as a Tag!Kolya dragged a Tag!Weir towards the gate, waiting for just the right moment to keep the tag from being completed.

"You're not going anywhere." Tag!Sheppard said, gun aimed directly at Kolya, "I will shoot you if you don't let her go."

Dawn had her gun ready and was so antsy she almost pulled the trigger prematurely.

"Wait!" Charlotte whispered, holding up a hand, "I think this part is _supposed_ to happen."

"And risk hurting Doctor Weir?" Kolya sneered.

"I'm not aiming at her." Sheppard fired a single shot, hitting Kolya and knocking him back through the Stargate.

Dawn had flinched at the sound of Sheppard's gun and the sight of Kolya being hit, but she hadn't lowered her weapon.

Charlotte felt a small swelling of pride forming deep in her chest at this fact, but didn't have time to explore it, since Sheppard and Weir were now advancing on each other, with a most un-canon like, rather lustful gleam in their eyes.

"Now."

Dawn didn't hesitate, she just squeezed the trigger and slightly winced at the large, bright orange pulse that filled the gate room, wiping both Tag!Sheppard and Tag!Weir out of existence.

It was at this point that Lennon had spoken over the com, and Charlotte answered her, "Yeah, Lennon. Everything's fine. It was a closet ShWeir Tagger." She looked over at Dawn, "Dawn took care of it."

There was a scoff of disbelief from the other end of the line, "She-"

"Yes, Lennon, she _did_." Charlotte clapped the still slightly stunned Dawn on the back heartily, "Our little Cadet is turning into a full fledged Buster before our very eyes, Len. Aren't you proud?"

"Oh yeah, I'm getting all verklempt just thinking about it," Lennon snarked, "Look at me, I'm a wreak. Soooo emotional over it. I think I might need a tissue."

Charlotte rolled her eyes, "Alright, Lenny, that's enough. Meet us back at that fork in the corridor."

"Fine. We'll be there in ten."

---------------------

A/N:Gah! Again, I had something _totally_ different planned for this chapter, but _this_ is what came out of me instead. See, I had this chapter almost all written, it was just a matter of making it fit with the ending of chapter forty. When I tried to write something that made the two mesh properly, it turned into this...so I just wrote eight pages and I still have a mostly finished chapter on my hands which I _still_ have to make fit! Unreal!

Techie:0 Plot Bunnies: 42

Everyone who's ever done a tag for 'The Eye' is going to kill me for this chapter...just track me down and shoot me in the head because I've made fun of them. -wince-

I HAD TO!

It was in the interests of comedy, so I _hope_ you'll find it in your little hearts to forgive me. Please? -puppy eyes-

I saw the episode the other night in syndication (first time I've seen it since it first aired -head desk-) and all those tags here at ff dot net suddenly made perfect sense.

Sorry, I'm air headed when it comes to remembering things I saw like two years ago. So sue me.

ANYWAY! I certainly hope the premise of Tags in the busters 'verse made _some_ kind of sense, cause I really can't tell right now (been up all night writing, woo!). I tackled this particular cliché because...well, it _is_ so cliché. It seems like _everyone_ has done a missing scene or tag for 'The Eye'. Seriously, go search for 'The Eye' in this fandom and see how many results you come up with.

Even _I_ had the urge to write one after watching it...

I fought it.

You should too.

Although, I _did_ kinda get to write my tag in a roundabout way, didn't I? -snickers conspiratorially-

Funny that it was McWeirish, since I really don't like that ship...o.o...-dodges rotten tomatoes-


	43. A Plan Put Into Action

I wrote this chapter...and rewrote this chapter...and currently have six versions of it saved in WordPad. None of which contain the same events or dialogue, which is frustrating, because I pretty much just wrote up six different ways that the story could go. -head desk- You'd be amazed how many of my stupid little ideas never see the light of day. However, most of those other chapters are being turned into continuations of this one, so it's like I've got a billion things done. Well, more like five.

--------------

"Oh yeah, that worked like a _charm_," Anti Madison snarked at the Anti Lennon, who was still fiddling with her tablet PC.

"Shut up you, I'm not through yet." Anti Lennon punched a few buttons on the piece of tech, "I've got _loads_ in store for those three..just you wait. They're already right where I need them for the next phase of my plan."

"You know what they say about plans that have more than one phase, don't you?"

The raven haired Anti just glared at the brunette, "Everything I do has a purpose and helps to push plot. So bite me."

The geek turned to face her pastel striped bunny.

"Now, Nenya-"

"Huh?" A voice from above queried, different than the other that had spoken so many times before.

Lennon looked heavenward and muttered, 'What, _another_ one?' before she replied, "Not _you_ Nenya, the bunny Nenya."

"Oh...ok. I'll just be over here then."

Lennon sighed heavily and looked down at her bunny, "Where was I? Oh..right. Yeah. Ok, Nen, I want you to-"

In cartoonish fashion, Lennon leaned over and started whispering in the bunny's floppy ears so that none of you could hear what her master plan was before you're supposed to.

Lennon pulled back after a few minutes of whispering, and the small bunny tilted it's head at her.

It seemed to say 'What're you, certifiable? You want me to _what_?' with the way it's ears laid against it's head and the way it's eyes sparkled at it's companion (not owner, you notice, bunnies refuse to have owners and only team up with _people_ on rare occasion, and even then, only when they're pure evil).

Lennon tilted her head back at the small fuzzy creature, "Yes...go on."

One of the bunnies eyes narrowed. If it had been a human, it's eyebrow would've been raised, 'After what happened to Bartlett? You _are_ nuts.' it seemed to say.

"You'll be _fine_."

If the bunny had been able to cross it's arms over it's chest, it would've done so right about then.

"Look, you want carrotcoladas when we get home, you're going to do this."

Nenya's nose twitched defiantly.

"No it didn't," that voice broke in again.

Not _you_.

Nenya the _bunny's_ nose twitched defiantly, but the rabbit acquiesced and started hopping down the corridor away from the three Antis.

Anti Lennon got to her feet and stared after the retreating form of the pastel striped bunny.

When it reached the corner, it turned around and glared at Lennon, waving a paw at her.

"Oh look, isn't that cute?" Anti Charlotte said, a slight bit of adoration creeping into her tone, "She's waving at-Oh..never mind..she's giving you the finger."

An IM window popped up on Yahoo! and Techie went off to answer it, thusly cutting the chapter short so that she could converse with her favorite online-brother-not-quite-brother-best-friend Bones.

----------------

A/N:I'm currently in a very ranty mood, so you have NO idea how lucky you are that this chapter was finished yesterday, otherwise you'd be getting an ear full in the form of an Author's Interlude chapter.

Erm...an eye full. Right.

Oh...a new piece of fan art I found on Deviant Art has softened my heart somewhat...it's adorable. Makes me wish I knew who Nano-gator is...-eyebrows furrow- I _know_ it's one of you...alright, so maybe for the sake of the fans I'll keep writing -grumble- But I'm still righteously pissed.

I have several more chapters finished, which will get posted, regardless of my bad attitude today, but after that..I don't know what I'll do. I haven't been this angry about something in a long, _long_ time.


	44. The Stage Is Set

Charlotte and Dawn had been waiting at the appointed rendezvous point for quite a bit longer than the ten minutes that Lennon had said she'd be there in, and the geek hadn't answered any of her commanding officers hails on over the com link.

It was for this reason that when Lennon and McKay finally _did_ show up, (a good twenty minutes _late_) Charlotte laid into her subordinate like there was no tomorrow.

"Where the _hell_ have you been?" Charlotte asked immediatly after spotting the geek and grabbing her by one of her hideous shirt sleeves, dragging her aside.

Lennon shook out of Charlotte's grasp, "Where do you think I've been, on the moon?"

"Knowing you? I certainly wouldn't doubt it." Charlotte placed her hands on her hips in a pose that reminded the geek of her mother, "What took you so long?"

Lennon narrowed her eyes at the pushy redhead, "You know, not all of us can run a four minute mile, Charlie."

Charlotte narrowed her eyes as well, "You could if you _tried_."

Lennon snorted, "The only way _I'll_ ever do a four minute mile is if I fall out of an airplane."

Charlotte's stern face softened somewhat, her lips threatening to crack into a smile quite against her will, "That isn't funny."

"Yeah it is," Lennon wiggled a finger at her CO, "You're having a hard time not giggling."

Charlotte grew stern once more, "Seriously, Lenny, you should've at least responded to me on the radio."

"Worried, were you?"

Charlotte narrowed her eyes and pressed her lips together into a tight line, "I just want to know what took you so long."

"You mean aside from the fact I had to convince McKay that I wasn't some homicidal maniac of postal worker proportions who was ready to off him at the drop of a hat?"

"Yes. I _assumed_ something like **that** would happen, especially since you'd have had to shoot...well, _him_ in front of himself."

Techie had to wonder if that made any sense to anyone else, but wrote it off since she had been up for two days and didn't really care at this point.

"Anyway, Len, what happened?"

Lennon sighed, "Well..."

--_A few minutes before the four met up again, just because Techie's been getting so many demands for more Lennon/McKay snarking---_

Lennon was getting annoyed.

Alright, more than annoyed.

Downright irritated.

Bordering on aggravated.

Which was quite a trick, considering the word 'aggravated' is really only supposed to be used in reference to a situation, not a person.

Over the past few minutes, Rodney had latched onto Lennon's first name, and was making very, _very_ bad puns in relation to it.

All of them, she'd heard before. When one had a first name like Lennon, one grew to expect certain bad puns.

She figured it was his way of easing some tension, making fun of her, but it wasn't doing anything but irritating her to the point she was ready to jump on him.

Plus, being in such close proximity to him, her left leg was itching like mad.

No, not her leg, at least not the whole thing...just her calf.

Damn that shipper bunny. Damn it straight to Plot Hole Hell.

She had hoped against hope that the ship would've worn off by now. After all, it _had_ been four years, and that was a **long** time for the effects to last, even if it _was_ a fluff bunny. She had almost forgotten about it herself, after all.

Well, not _completely_...

Maybe the old ship was still affecting her this strongly because she had been attracted to him _before_ the shipper bunny attack?

No..that wasn't true...she enjoyed irritating him, snarking at him, but that was just Lennon's way. That wasn't necessarily attraction.

It wasn't necessarily not, either...

_**Flashback!** Doo doo doodle doo doo doodle doo -wavy soap opera-ish screen thingy-_

_"Sorry pal, you're not my type!" She put her hands on his chest and shoved him away with all her strength, causing him to stagger back._

_"Of course I am!" Kavanaugh insisted, as he dropped to one knee and withdrew a rose from his pocket, which was unbelievably perfect looking, and offered it to her, "I'm every woman's type."_

_"Not mine!" Lennon squeaked as she backed away, right into a wall, "I go for...you know, smart, snarky and sane!"_

_**/Flashback**_

Damn it.

Ship feelings often work the way real feelings do, you see. Sometimes, when you're away from the person you were shipped with, they dissipate, and other times...

Other times...

Lennon didn't want to think about it. Hell, even Techie didn't want to think about it.

So, back to McKay teasing Lennon over her name.

When he dropped the third Yoko Ono joke in the past five minutes, she totally lost it.

"Yes, yes! I have an unusual first name, ok? I admit it! I was born in New York the day John Lennon was shot, happy now? What was your excuse, _Rodney?_ Were your parents _Caddyshack_ fans?"

For some reason, the chorus of 'I'm Alright' by Kenny Loggins was heard echoing through the hall.

It might have been because Techie's roommate had just walked past the motion sensitive dancing gopher on her dresser...

"I'll have you know my parents named me after a-"

Sadly, none of you will ever know what Rodney's parents named him after, because it was at this precise moment in time that the two hit a snag.

A _big_ snag.

Lennon had rounded a corner and stopped in her track immediatly. McKay, who had been in mid explanation collided directly with her back.

Lennon hadn't even felt it. She just started backing up away from what was awaiting her in the corridor.

"Back up," she whispered to McKay from the corner of her mouth.

"What? Why should-"

"Back up, back up, back up!" She said urgently as she turned around and shoved him down the corridor back the way they had come.

When they were safely around the corner once more, Lennon took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

She screwed up her face, clenched her fists and cursed under her breath. A _lot._

"What? What is it?" McKay asked loudly.

"Shh!" Lennon clamped her hand over his mouth and glared at him. She cast a glance about herself and yanked him into the nearest crewman's quarters, leaving the door open only a crack.

"Cupcake!" Caesar called as he walked down the corridor, glancing from left to right down every intersecting hallway, "Cupcaaaaake!"

He stopped walking and gave a huff, "Where are you, girl?"

Arca, who had been trailing leisurely behind the male Muse caught up with him and sighed melodramatically.

"I'm not in the mood for I told you so's, Arca," Caesar said, turning to the carrot color haired Muse who had sauntered up nonchalantly beside him.

Arca gave her most indecensed look, "Far from it. Really, Caesar, I'm shocked that you would think me so vindictive as to rub it in that this endeavor was a complete and utter waste of time."

Caesar glared, "Subtle, Arca. Very _subtle_."

Arca's blue eyes went as wide as they could go as she tried out the 'Innocent as the day I was first written' face.

"Nice try."

Arca screwed up her face distastefully, "Fine, be that way." She gestured around herself, "We've been walking for like six hours, can't we just give up? I mean, we haven't seen so much as a hint that Cupcake was here."

"Oh, she's here," Caesar replied, resuming his walking, "You _know_ she's here." He flicked his eyes to the other fandom Muse, "Besides, you know if the Syndicate finds out we're here while the ABPA is in occupation, we'll all be in _major_ trouble. They'll send someone to get us, we'll be brought before Serendipity and then our tangibility will be revoked...you know, _again_. You'll excuse me if I don't find that to be acceptable."

"Oh, come _on_. What're the chances they'll find out?" Arca asked as she caught up with Caesar and fell into step next to him.

"Pretty good, if you consider who's running the show in this instance," Caesar looked upwards and then back at Arca.

"Right..._right_," she replied, "I forgot." She picked up her pace and left Caesar several paces behind her.

"Well, what're you waiting for? Come on!"

Lennon watched from that crack between the doors as the two Muses continued past.

She stomped her foot and swore again, "Three. THREE Muses!" She let out a sobbish noise, "Oh, God! Can't we _ever_ catch a break?" She turned to look at McKay, who was also watching out from between the two doors.

"Who're they?" He asked quietly, watching the retreated forms of the two fandom Muses.

"Does it matter _who_ they are? It's _what_ they are that concerns _me_," she replied, "Damn it. Damn it. Damn it!"

----------------

"Three fandom Muses in one 'verse?" Charlotte asked, her jaw seemingly coming unhinged.

"_Exactly_," the geek replied unhappily, "And if they're right, then there's going to be _another_ one on the way from the syndicate."

Charlotte pursed her lips together so hard they turned white, "This is terrible."

"Oh, well, thank you so much for playing Captain Obvious, Charlie. I really needed you to do that," Lennon snarked, "You know as well as I do how badly things have deteriorated between the APBA and the Muse's syndicate in the last few years, ever since Molinaro was in office and tried to make killing Muses while within fandoms legal."

"Anything that goes wrong on this mission could have dire consequences," Charlotte stated, voicing Lennon's concerns, "The whole relationship between our two organizations might be dissolved!"

Lennon gestured widely with her hands, "Duh!"

Charlotte was silent for a moment, thinking hard.

"Well?" Lennon asked impatiently, "You're the one in charge here, what do we do?"

"Just give me a minute, will you? I'm thinking."

"Great, we're gonna be here all week."

Charlotte glared at Lennon, "We can't blow up Atlantis."

"Damn."

"And we can't kill the Muses."

"Damn. Damn."

"Nor can we scrub the mission."

"Damn, damn, damn!"

"We're just going to have to do our best to avoid the three, that's all there is to that."

Lennon's eyes got big, "You can't be serious. You _know_ that'll never work!"

"It's our only option," Charlotte answered levelly.

Lennon screwed up her face into an expression of utter distaste and crossed her arms over her chest, "I _knew_ we should have blown this place up when we had the chance."

Charlotte tilted her head and lifted an eyebrow, "You're just _dying_ to try out those new Anti-Bunny Charges HQ gave you last week, aren't you." It wasn't really phrased as a question, hence the lack of a question mark.

Lennon's eyes shifted from side to side, "No..." She was silent for a moment, a sure sign that she was lying, "Look, let's just go. Alright? We can _try_ to avoid the Muse, but you know how these things work. There's a pretty good chance, especially considering McKay's and mine near run-in with those other fandom Muses, that we'll be meeting up with the Muse of _this_ fandom sooner or later anyway."

With that, Charlotte and Lennon rejoined McKay and Dawn and returned to their trek along the corridor.

None of them saw the little pastel striped bunny that was following at a safe distance, waiting for just the right opportunity to strike and unleash her most evil of bunny powers on the four.

It would be perfectly acceptable to insert megalomaniacal laughter here.

**Muahahahahaaha -cough cough wheeze-**

On second thought, laughing maniacally is bad for Techie's bronchitis.

------

A/N:Yes, Lennon's first name has finally been explained, w00t. I came up with the character (or at least her personality and name) several years ago when I was writing a comic book. The comic didn't come to anything, but the character remains. Same way my first OC (in a story that remains unwritten) was named Madison.

Uh..so anyway..any guesses as to what the evil bunny Nenya's power is? Muaha!


	45. Meanwhile Once More

Arca and Caesar, who were still wandering the halls of Atlantis, calling out to their colleague, quite unbeknownst to them, had more worries than they could've possibly imagined.

Cupcake had broken close to thirty Muse regulations, killed more than two hundred bunnies, and viciously wiped out six different Mary Sues.

If the ABPA had been able to hire her as a mercenary, they probably would have, since she was so damned effective. After all, all she had to work with was a sawed off shotgun and a bloodied chainsaw that she'd come across a few corridors ago. She was doing _great_ considering the fact that she didn't have any of the approved tools of the trade that were used by Anti Plot Bunny Agency Agents.

In fact, she was getting close to breaking the current record for most bunnies killed within twenty four hours.

If Charlotte Walker had been aware of this fact, she would have hunted Cupcake down and kept her from stealing the title.

What? Even Charlotte had _some_ pride.

However, Charlotte _wasn't_ aware, so the point was moot.

Moot...Techie loves that word. It's fun to say...

Say it with me, moot. Moot. Mooooooot.

Techie clearly hasn't slept in two days. You'll just have to excuse her (hopefully) temporary insanity.

Anyway, where were we?

Oh, right.

Cupcake the Muse wobbling along the corridors of the city, still rather inebriated and still wiping out bunnies left and right.

And she was fast approaching the Amnesia Bunny den.

---------------

A/N: Time to check up on our favorite nutty fandom Muse, yes? I have a new challenge for you, which I just thought of like, two seconds ago. Remember how it was during a poker night between the fandom Muses that got Cupcake on the warpath? Well, write it up, darlings ;) I want to see it.


	46. And Once Again

Within the confines of the Sue's pink headquarters, Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue (you remember her, right?), the beautifully blonde Queen of the Atlantis Mary-Sues was growing ever more impatient.

Her pink and white French tipped manicured fingers drummed on the arm of her fluffy pink throne as she watched the progress of those blue and green dots on her view screen. They had split up over the past hour and then regrouped once again.

When they had branched off into separate teams, she had almost hollered for joy, thinking that the Antis would take that oh-so-very plum opportunity to strike, but disappointingly, they hadn't.

She didn't understand why the Antis hadn't swept in and wiped out the four while they were separated. Seriously, wouldn't it have been easier to kill them when they were apart? They were more vulnerable, were they not?

Even Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue, regardless of the fact she was a bottle blonde, was bright enough to realize _that_.

"I am NOT a bottle blonde!"

Oh. Right. Ahem. Allow me to rephrase.

"You better!"

Even Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue, regardless of the fact she was a natural virgin blonde, was bright enough to realize _that_.

I mean, of course the _plan_ was to lure them to the Amnesia Bunny den and wipe out their memories so that they could be more easily manipulated, but still it could have been the perfect opportunity to just kill them.

Maybe she was just upset because the brilliant plan that was in place wasn't her own.

Yes, that seemed likely. She was just a vindictive-

"Don't you _DARE_ finish that sentence!"

Uh, I mean she was a kind and benevolent ruler with her subjects best interests at heart and hadn't a single selfish bone in her perfect body.

"That's more like it," the gorgeous Sue said as she settled on her throne prettily and turned to look at her view screen once more.

Well, at least those four were getting closer to the Amnesia den...that was _something_.

-------------------

A/N:I've noticed something throughout my lifetime, which is reflected here. I've _never_ met a stupid natural blonde. Bottle blondes, on the other hand...

I think it's something in the bleach. A chemical that lowers the IQ...

Bottle blondes, don't hit me for this. It's just my own observation.

There's gonna be a lot of things in this story that're my own observations voiced by characters, and it's bound to get weird. The whole idea of Vending Machine Karma, Care Bears Are Out To Take Over The World, etc.

You're all doomed…just thought I'd let you know.


	47. And One Last Meanwhile For The Road

Only minutes after Dawn and Charlotte left the gate room, a blinding flash of light, much like the one that came about when the other Muses arrived a few chapters ago, filled the space once again.

A rather short, squat Muse materialized. He looked to be around fifty years old (in mortal years, of course) and his toga only reached his knees.

Comicus. Fandom Muse of comedy, parody and spoof. The Muse responsible for much of Techie's own craziness.

Also, the man that the Muse's Syndicate had sent to retrieve Cupcake, Arca and Caesar, whether they wanted him to or not.

And he was _not_ happy about it.

He was muttering to himself as he brushed his toga off, "Feh. Interverse travel, I must be the galaxy's biggest shmuck to allow myself to be talked into this. And look at this! I'm schvitzing like a chaza!" He pulled a handkerchief out of a fold in his clothing and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"Whose bright idea was it to send _me_? An old man they send! They don't let you live, they don't let you breath! I gotta be the world's biggest schlimazel to have let 'em talk me into _this_ kind of mission so close to retirement. I should be sitting on the syndicate...maybe having a little nosh with the commish, talking, getting a last minute promotion... not chasing after a couple of meshungina shikses and a shagitz!" He pointed at nothing in particular, still seemingly arguing with himself, "I don't need to add any more mitzvahs to my resume, why the hell am I here?"

A slight cough came from the heavens that sounded suspiciously like 'Dinner party'.

Comicus brought his eyes heavenward with a look of long suffering on his face, "Oh, not _you_ again."

"I'm afraid so," the voice replied.

"Last time not enough?" The Muse asked, crossing his arms over his chest, "Oy, have you got a lot of khutspe!"

"I thought we established that already," the voice said boredly, "I mean, you've _seen_ what I'm capable of."

Comicus glared, "You know, I'm not gonna be blamed if this all goes wrong!"

"I uh..I wouldn't worry about _that_ if I were you," the mysterious voice replied, shoving down a chuckle.

The Muse didn't miss the suppressed evil giggle, "And what was _that_ for?"

"Nothing," the voice answered as innocently as possible, "I have nothing planned. Stop looking at me that way."

"Uh huh..."

"What? I'm totally innocent. Pure as the driven snow."

"Likely story."

"Hey, man, this is all your fault anyway, you know," the voice answered defensively.

"Oh? And _how_ do you figure that?"

"Well, I mean, you are _the_ comedy/parody/spoof Muse, and I named you after the guy responsible for _my_ sick sense of humor, which is-" There was a mechanical ding, like the sort you'd hear from a microwave, "Ooo! My burrito is done!"

Silence followed.

"Techie?" Comicus queried, only to be met with silence.

"Where did that nebish get to? TECHIE!"

Nothing.

"Of course...out of all the authors in the world, I have to get the one who's so broke she can't even pay attention. _Naturally_."

Comicus tapped his foot impatiently, awaiting the return of the author.

After a few minutes, he got fed up, threw his hands up in the air and stalked out of the gate room.

Five minutes passed.

Ten.

A cough echoed through the gate room, "Comicus? I'm sorry it took me so long...I got distracted by Paul Ben Victor on the tube. And my burrito fell apart...it got messy. Tina's Brand Beans just don't have the same stay-in-theredness as El Paso."

Silence greeted the voice's apology.

"Um...Comicus?"

More silence.

"Uh oh..."

--------------

A/N:...I have no idea. It was time for one of my characters to rebel, I think.

"Hey, hey, hey, who're you callin' _your_ character?"

-blink-

Uh...yeah...-cough- Next chapter is almost finished, so it'll be up in like...minutes, probably. Oh wait, I forgot, I'm still massively pissed...right.

If you can tell me where the line 'stay-in-theredness' is from, I'll officially make you my new best friend. Seriously. I love that word...and I love the guy who said it even _more_. I'll give you a hint -whispers- it's from -gasp- REALITY TV!

Oh, and the name Comicus is from 'History Of The World Part One'...Mel Brooks, in case you couldn't tell. Go google him and you'll have a pretty clear picture of what Comicus the Muse looks like in my head.

It's fitting, since Comicus is the muse of comedy, parody and spoof, and Mel is my own personal muse in many ways.

Today's Yiddish Lesson-

Shmuck-fool, idiot etc.

Schvitzing like a chaza-Sweating like a pig

Schlimazel-Unlucky person

Nosh-Snack, bite to eat

Meshungina-Crazy

Shikse-Non Jewish woman/girl

Shagitz-Non Jewish man/boy

Mitzvah-Good deed

Khutspe-Unmittigated gall


	48. Plagiarized

A lone soapbox sat in the middle of an empty room.

Empty except for the Author, who was currently trying to decide if getting on the aforementioned soapbox was acceptable.

There was a good chance that if she _did_, her inner vindictive bitch would rear her ugly head.

But if she _didn't_, she might just break down in tears out of pure frustration.

After speaking at length with several of her online friends, she had discovered that she wasn't just being paranoid, or imagining things.

Someone had outright and openly plagiarized her.

Plagiarize, look it up.

No, you know what? I'll save you the trouble.

Plagiarize: To steal of purloin from the writings of another; to appropriate without due acknowledgement (the ideas of expressions of another). To take the thought or style of another writer and claim it as one's own.

Yes. Techie had been plagiarized.

It felt like a violation.

It _hurt_.

Worse than the flame had.

Where the flame had left her depressed and doubting her own worth, the plagiarism left her feeling angry because she was good enough to copy.

She had offered up her characters in challenges, trusting people with them and her universe, offered help as advisor and beta to friends worldwide, and had become close with many of her reviewers whom she inspired.

Which, by the way, made her swell with pride. Not in herself (alright, maybe a little) but in the fact that she was _helping_ others dive into the wonderful universe of writing. Giving others the confidence to forge ahead into that brave new frontier that they might have been anxious about entering into before they spoke with her.

Now, one person's blatant theft of her ideas and style threatened all of that. Could she really trust people to know the difference between a Chanel and a Chanette?

She took a deep breath, swore to herself she would **not** become Bitchy McSnipe Techie when addressing her readers, and stepped up on the soap box.

"It has come to my attention," she stated as levelly as possible, "That someone has used some of my original plot points and plot devices in their fiction, without my permission, and without giving me credit."

She cleared her throat, "I love writing fanfiction, and I love the people who review. I love the fact that I've managed to inspire so many with my insanity, which, up until now, I thought was quite useless."

Techie blinked a few times, "My characters, characterizations and ideas are not just up for grabs. I have always offered them up to any who would ask for them, asking only in return for credit to what is rightfully mine. Which really, is that so much to ask?"

The bitch was trying to claw her way out of Techie's calm exterior, but the author shoved her back down where she belonged.

"Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but this isn't just imitation. This person is taking stuff from my stories, lifting entire lines and plot devices, even imitating my _style_ and putting a line from _my_ bio in her own, and I'm getting more than a little annoyed."

Techie took a breath and saw her friend Sarah flash her a thumbs up, which was quite a feat considering that Sarah was in Australia.

Ah, the wonders of Deviant Art.

"I have people who have written companion fics and things within my universe, or used my characters, or who have gotten ideas from my stories and then written their own, but they have always had the decency to put something in their author's notes along the lines of 'BiteMeTechie inspired this with her fic' or 'These charactes are used with permission from Techie'."

Techie realized just how egotistical that might have sounded, but decided against deleting it, since it's how she felt.

And regardless of how ugly her feelings may have been, they still needed to be addressed.

"I always said I'd give permission to those who asked for it as long as I was credited in an author's note, and I always have. I've kept my end of the bargain, someone out there hasn't. It's the fact that it would have been so easy just to _ask_ me, but this person didn't, which is what stings so badly. Instead of crediting me, as they should have, they decided to take credit for a style which is not their own."

Techie gestured widely, talking with her hands, "It's like taking a piece of art, tracing it and coloring it differently and then calling it your own. Then you have the gall to say to the people who admire it 'That's right, I came up with this all on my own. I didn't have any help from anyone at all. Nope, didn't get this idea from anyone! Nuh uh, and I didn't get tips from the artist either.'. I know this may sound like I'm slightly bitter, but this really _did_ hurt."

The Author took a deep breath, "I'm telling you this not because my feelings are hurt (though they are), but because plagiarism is wrong. And if this person plagiarized _me_, there's a damn good chance they'll do the same to _you_. I will not name names, but when you come across one of their stories, you'll know it. Be aware that this person is out there, and tell them that they aren't doing the right thing. Maybe, just _maybe_, they'll feel guilty and we can nip this in the bud before it gets any uglier."

Techie was about to step off the box, when she changed her mind and turned back to the gathered crowd, "I just wanted all of you to know, that no matter how many knockoffs and rip-offs emerge from the primordial stew that is fanfiction dot net, the original still remains and shall remain until the day she dies. I swear it."

With that, she stepped off the box, picked it up and tucked it under her arm.

She turned back to the masses one last time, the bitch finally able to make her appearance, "And to the person who did this to me, I have a little speech for you as well."

Techie narrowed her eyes searching out the person who had stolen her writing identity, "I can't believe I _encouraged_ you. How stupid am I, huh? You can't even _try_ to deny what you did by saying you didn't know. You reviewed the stories you lifted things from, that proves that you've read them, and there is **no** excuse. I don't ask for much, just credit where it's due. I do this, not for attention, or affection, or admiration (although, those _are_ nice), but because I love writing and because I love making people laugh. Are _your_ reasons that pure of heart?"

Techie couldn't help but snort, "Alright, maybe that's the wrong phrase. I've never been pure of heart, but to create something original, to give in to the creative process and make something that not only you yourself enjoy, but that others do as well, is one of the most noble things that a person can do. However, it's only noble if you do it because you _love_ to do it. Because if you didn't you would die from it. An artist can no more ignore the urge to create, than an ordinary person can ignore the urge to breathe. But you, mine Herr, are not an artist so much as you are a thief."

Techie straightened her posture, took another deep breath and said, "Thank you. That is all."

She exited the room quietly, not expecting any applause or agreement, and left nothing but stunned silence in her wake.

---

A/N: Remember how I said I wanted to cover _all_ the aspects of writing fanfic? Well, this is the ugliest. I was plagiarized. Blatantly. Someone needed to speak out about it, so I did. If you come across this person's stories (still not naming names) tell them what they're doing is wrong. Because it is.


	49. Insert Spoiler Free Chapter Title Here

The four companions continued on their journey, once again in the nontraditional formation that left Charlotte in the lead and her two teammates on either side of McKay.

When the first strains of 'Puttin' On The Ritz' floated across the air, they all stopped walking immediatly.

"Not more Marines," McKay said, completely disheartened.

"And what would be wrong with _that_?" Dawn asked, a little bit defensive of one of the best experiences of her life, which she had filed away in her mind under 'Really Good Memories To Revisit Later'.

"Do I really have to explain to you the-"

"Hush, both of you," Lennon snapped, straining her ears to hear the music, "I think it _is_ a song fic, this time."

Charlotte turned to look at Lennon, "No. You know how those work. Plus, 'Puttin' On The Ritz' isn't a traditional song fic song. It's something _else_."

Lennon looked at her CO, "You don't think-"

"I do," Charlotte replied, answering Lennon's question before it was out there.

Lennon stomped her feet and whined, "Noooo, this isn't happening. I can't live through another one of _those_."

"What _are_ you two talking about?"

The geek scowled and pouted and made a face which had to be one of the most unattractive that had ever crossed her features, "You'll both see soon enough. If Charlie's right, that is."

"Of _course_ I'm right," Charlotte answered, slightly offended, "I've done these before too, you know."

"What?" McKay asked, more annoyed than when he'd asked the last time.

"Oh yeah, there's just _so_ many of these kinds of fics in the Law and Order 'verses." Lennon answered, seemingly not hearing McKay.

Getting annoyed at the fact they aren't saying what the problem in question is yet?

Charlotte glared at Lennon, something which was fast becoming common practice, "It's not for _sure_ yet, let's investigate before we start jumping to conclusions."

"Would you two stop ignoring me?" McKay exclaimed angrily, "WHAT IS GOING ON? I **demand** to know!"

Charlotte took a few steps foreword until she was standing in front of the door from which the music was coming from and she hit the panel on the left side of the doorway.

When the doors opened, the music burst forth with such strength it could've knocked you over with it's sheer vibratory force.

The four poked their heads inside and McKay's face was horror stricken at the sight that awaited him.

There was a Wraith up on a table (what a table was doing in the gymnasium, we'll never know), dancing alongside Stackhouse, both of them in top hat and tails with very dapper looking canes in their hands, and both of them singing 'Puttin' On The Ritz'.

They weren't the only ones though...

There were several other canons dancing around as well.

Lennon gestured at the canons inside the small room who were currently singing at the top of their lungs and dancing around, "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Atlantis:The Musical."

Dawn's jaw was slack as she watched Laura Cadman start a performance of 'I Enjoy Being A Girl' while doing some of the most...shall we say _daring_ choreographed dance moves that the city of Atlantis had ever seen.

"What caused this?" McKay asked, "No wait, let me guess. One of those bunny things."

-------

Bunny Nenya had been biding her time, waiting for just the right opportunity to present itself for her to strike.

When the blonde Buster had leaned foreword to look inside the gymnasium, it did.

Apparently, Dawn didn't like wearing high ankle socks and as such, her flesh was exposed at the bunny's eye level.

_Perfect_.

-------

"You catch on quick, McKay," Charlotte stated without looking at him, "Lenny, have we got any of that Musical Antidote left?"

"We used up almost all of it in the Buffyverse," Lennon replied as she dropped her pack on the ground and got to her knees to inspect the contents.

After a few minutes of fumbling around inside, she withdrew a small vial of liquid which changed colors when the light hit it, "Only one dose."

Charlotte turned to look at the geek, but was distracted by something that was creeping up behind her, "Lenny!"

Lennon spun and saw the small creature who was behind her, looking at her with an evil gleam in it's eyes, ready to pounce.

Just as it dove, the geek's reflexes kicked in and she rolled out of the way.

Dawn on the other hand, didn't have the benefit of nine years worth of experience and training that resulted in reflexes like Lennon's.

"Dawn, look out!"

But, in true cliché fashion, it was too late. The rabbit had leapt at the young buster and had bitten her bare ankle before it scurried away back down the hallway.

Lennon got to her feet quickly and chased after it, bullets flying from her nine millimeter, while Dawn sank down on the ground, her hand covering the bunny wound.

Charlotte rushed to her fallen teammate. The blank look that was on her face was _not_ a good sign.

"Dawn?" Charlotte dropped to her knees and waved a hand in front of the blonde's face.

Lennon returned, huffing and puffing after giving chase, "It got away! I didn't even get to see what kind it was!"

"Shut up Lenny!" Charlotte shouted angrily at the geek before she turned back to the blonde who'd just been bitten and said sweetly, "Dawn, honey? Sweetie? Dawn, darling, look at me. No, no...with both eyes. Alright, good girl. Do you know who you are?"

Dawn blinked a couple of times and nodded, her hand still on , "Uh huh."

"Ok, then who are you?"

"Dawn Perry," the blonde replied automatically.

"And where were you born?"

"Ontario."

"She's Canadian?" Lennon asked out of the blue.

Charlotte snapped, "Now is so _not_ the time, Lenny! Dawn, one last question, do you know your team number?"

"Forty seven."

"Good, that's good," Charlotte said with a relieved sigh, "It's not an Amnesia Bunny bite then. Ok, Dawn, how do you feel?"

Dawn just rubbed the spot where the bunny had bitten her and stared off to some far away point that only she could see.

"Dawn? Dawn, stay with me here."

"Oh, I hope it's not a Bimbo bunny," the geek said worriedly, "I mean the fact that she's _blonde_ is bad enough."

"Lenny!" Charlotte exclaimed, scandalized.

"What? I'm just saying!"

Charlotte ignored Lennon, "How do you feel, Dawn?"

Dawn stared off into space dazedly for a moment before a smile slowly spread across her features, making her whole face light up, "Like dancing!"

With that, Dawn gracefully got to her feet and stretched out in what might've been considered an elegant manner if she hadn't been so gangly, and started to dance.

Dawn's three companions looked at each other and then back at her.

"Aw hell," Lennon said, watching the dancing rookie with something akin to horror on her face, "A Musical Bunny." Lennon shook her head as she watched the blonde continue her routine.

Charlotte looked on sadly, "But at least she isn't singing."

"Oh! That's a marvelous idea!" Dawn exclaimed in mid-can-can, "Singing! You're brilliant!"

She promptly launched into a rousing rendition of 'There's No Business Like Show Business'.

"Oy gavalt," Lennon muttered, turning to give Charlotte an accusing glare, "You see what you've done?"

Charlotte slapped her forehead, "Wonderful."

"The cowboys, the wrestlers, the tumblers, the clowns, the roustabouts that move the show at dawn!" Dawn sang.

Lennon crossed her arms over her chest and cocked her head, "Look at the bright side...she could've been singing 'I Feel Pretty'."

"The music, the spotlights, the people, the towns, your baggage with the labels pasted on!" The blonde did what Lennon liked to refer to as the 'Jack McFarland Jazz Hands Thing' as she danced around the room.

Charlotte turned angry eyes on the geek, "You _swore_ you'd never mention 'The Incident' again."

"The sawdust and the horses and the smell! The towel you've taken from the last hotel!"

Lennon shrugged with a small irrepressible smirk, "I lied."

"Should I ask?" McKay broke in.

"Not if you want to live," Charlotte ground out from between clenched teeth.

Dawn continued her circuit around the room, singing and dancing the whole way, "There's no people like show people, they smile when they are low!" Dawn smiled widely for emphasis, "Even with a turkey that you know will fold, you may be stranded out in the cold, still ya wouldn't trade it for a sack of gold, let's go on with the show!"

"Are we just going to let her keep that up?" McKay asked, watching the obviously mad woman dance around like a wannabe Rockette.

"We have to," Lennon replied, also watching Dawn's antics, trying desperately to push down her amusement, "She has to exhaust herself enough so that we can get ahold of her and give her the antidote."

It took eight songs for Dawn to finally wear herself out to the point that she was manageable.

Somewhere in the middle of 'Cabaret' she started to run out of steam, and halfway through 'Before The Parade Passes By' her dancing became quite a bit less lively.

When she hit the bridge of 'When You Got It, Flaunt It' she finally collapsed from exhaustion.

Lennon swooped in with a syringe full of the multi-colored Musical Antidote and injected the blonde, who awoke a few minutes later looking completely alert.

"Uh...what just happened?" She asked dazedly, "Was I..was I just _singing_?"

Lennon pushed down a giggle and nodded in the affirmative.

"And uh...and dancing?"

Another nod.

The blonde rubbed her eyes, "Lets uh...lets _never_ talk about this ever again."

"Agreed."

-----

A/N:Oy vey. This is the chapter that I've had mostly finished since like, last week but wasn't able to put it in the story what with all those _other_ new ideas that came to me. I finally got it in here, even though it _tried_ to become something else entirely (finally meeting up with Radek in the fandom with...interesting results). I'm not entirely sure it's funny any more though...maybe I'm just over tired and can't see it or something. I dunno.

The 'Puttin' On The Ritz' thing is inspired by Young Frankenstein. Watch the movie and then you'll see the little Wraith/Stackhouse routine as I do in my head. Nenya the bunny's powers are, of course, a reference to Nenya's story "Meeting Of Minds" which I keep pimping and that if you haven't read it already, you should.

Elizabeth Bartlett has called me her 'Yoda' and I currently can't shake the image of myself in a long, flowy, brown Jedi robe with a cane. I'm also speaking in backwards English more often than usual. Which isn't that much, now that I think about it.

Also riding a power trip from being depicted by Nano-gater (aka Shakia) as the maniacal puppet-master author that I am in a new piece of fanart on DA. Seriously, I laughed for like twenty solid minutes. I just...looked at it and started giggling. Looked at it again and the giggles doubled. Etc. Etc. If it's alright with all the people who've done fanart for me, I'll put the links up in my live journal so that everyone can see 'em. You can find me on lj under the name bitemetechie.

Oh how original...anyway add me to your friends list, if you like..whatever. Oh, and I'm losing my unlimited internet service in four days, but I'll still be uploading things and replying to my email once a week or so until I get internet back (which might take two weeks, or it might take two months..I don't know) so don't worry if I stop updating daily all of the sudden, I'm still here and I'll still be writing and adding stuff on a regular basis as well as replying to reviews/emails whenever I can.

One last thing.

-falls off chair- I just hit four HUNDRED reviews with this story. Excuse me while I make a fool of myself.

-dances around the room while singing 'I'm populaaaaaar' at the top of her lungs-

So sorry -shifty eyed- after the last chapter, you'd think I would still be totally pissed and bitter, but after such a ground swelling of support from my _true_ fans and friends, I feel like I'm on top of the world.

Plus I just got this hilarious idea for a one shot, and that always makes me happy.

It involves...you'll never guess...

MCKAY!

Omg, no! Horror! Shock! Dismay! Terror in the crowd! Techie is writing a McKay centric one shot!

You know...AGAIN!

I can't seem to stop myself...

Anyway! In celebration of my four HUNDRETH review, I'd like to do a little tribute to all the people who've reviewed my SGA silliness over the past couple of months, in no particular order.

Ready? Here goes -deep breath-

Thank you toooo-

NightWarrior, Tropicwhale, roguex, flubber, ilovedanieljackson, Jacoba1, Shakia, Freckles-101, kate98, Rocketlover, Whirlwind-2005, LE McMurray, Phinabean, dahan, Strawberry Cupcake, Elizabeth Bartlett, Porthos1013, dwparsnip,ccgig, McDork, Reefgirl, langentillefan, lil13, CascadePD, Tazmy, Chase Liquor, Jack'sgirlhtl, Tanya13, Dr. Scott, FumblesMcStupid, NenyaVilyaNenya, Grub5000 SJ Fan, firefly-827347, AkimaDoll, Quillian, Livi2Jack, Vecturist, rebekah78, Exploded Pen, lost nutter, ninyanna, lauren hedgehog, Violent Darling, Rathalyn Starwind, Rissa of the Saiya-Jin, DT Maxwell, AKAArzosah, Hunt Seat Panthead, TortieKitten, drufan, those vauguely akin to humanity, fifiolle, KateCayce, Sepik, Myriadragon, atlantian, QueenBoris, AlbinoMonkeyC, Augusta, RougeNebulan, Tierney Beckett, puddles1311, Sheppardster, nwfairy, Snarky - I like it, AnCa, Delka, BizzyLizzy, MBB, stevewraith, Falcon Horus, Lila Mae, Elle Hoffman, Lanner Falcon, Gex322, Anslea, Doyler, Aunt Slappy, mew-xena, b7-kerravon, T'pring, Hikaru Seiya, SeaPrincess Rules, KateCarter, originalscreenname, Beach chick JASSNL, Iguana Mom, Aaunty Pasta, Dr. Dredd, Mangst, MuseUrania, Lucy goosey, noventer, scifisarah and stargatefreak4eva.

-huff puff huff huff- That was a LONG list. Anyways, thanks to all of you, especially to my very special buddies (you all know who you are) who've been with me from the very start, or who just brighten my day with their overall brilliance and support.


	50. Insert Spoiler Free Chapter Title Here 2

The Radek fans are going to hunt me down and hurt me for this, I can feel it in my bones.

-------

McKay was growing annoyed.

He was a major canon character, and over the past several chapters, he'd played a supporting role which could've just as easily been done by a houseplant. So now, it was _his_ turn for some attention.

Oh man, was he gonna regret that.

Though he didn't know it just yet...

Muahahaha...

I mean...uh...yeah, there's nothing planned.

Innocent whistling quickly became the soundtrack to which the four companions traveled.

The Busters and McKay moved along at a rather steady pace, pausing only when they came across a Sue, canon or bunny, and even then only long enough to wipe out/knock out the creature/abomination/person in question.

When they came across Radek Zelenka though, they all had to stop and stare in disbelief.

"I thought you said he was in drag the last time you saw him?" Charlotte asked Dawn as she stared at the canon.

"He was," Dawn answered, completely puzzled by this turn of events.

"Well, this is just the next logical step then, isn't it?" Lennon asked, her eyes big behind her glasses.

"That isn't funny, Lenny."

"I thought it was."

The three looked at each other and silent communication took place. They all knew what to do in this particular situation. Stay calm, stay cheerful and knock out the canon as quickly as possible.

"Radek?" McKay exclaimed, ignoring the Buster's calm conversation as he stared at the over inflated abdomen of his colleague, "How did this-what did-YOU'RE PREGNANT?"

"Oh, isn't it _wonderful_?" Zelenka sighed dreamily, tenting his fingers under his chin, "And it's yours, Rodney!"

Lennon turned to look at McKay and couldn't resist needling him, "Oh really now? Been keeping secrets from us, eh McKay?"

"What are you-it's not MINE!" He shouted at her, "How could-what-I-How did this happen?"

"Oh now really Rodders, you don't want him to give specifics, do you?" Lennon wrapped an arm comfortingly around Zelenka's shoulders, "Have _some_ decency. There are just some things that shouldn't be spoken of in public."

Rodney's head snapped back and forth between the geek and his coworker, "You don't really believe that-IT'S NOT EVEN PHYSICALLY-" Something in his head clicked, "Wait a minute, did you just call me 'Rodders'?"

Lennon mentally slapped herself and cursed the reviewer who kept referring to Rodney as Rodders and had therefore made Techie start thinking of him in those terms, because now it had rubbed off on _her_.

"No...you're imagining things," Lennon said a little too quickly, "It must be the stress." She turned back to Radek and summoned the sweetest, bubbliest voice she could possibly manage, "So, honey, when _are_ you due?"

"Two weeks!" Radek beamed, giving off that pregnant womany glow that all of them seem to have.

It was very disturbing to see the aforementioned glow gracing the face of one Radek Zelenka though.

Although, now that we're thinking about it, the whole glowy people thing freaked Lennon out regardless. Pregnant women kinda creeped her out what with their unnaturally radiant smiles and everything.

"Do you know what it is?" Dawn asked Radek, getting in on the act, "I mean, a boy or a girl?"

"Both!" Radek beamed again, while Lennon gave her head just the slightest jerk at her commanding officer, indicating it was time to break out the Anti-Mpreg Solution, "It's twins!"

Lennon continued smiling at Radek, her face beginning to ache with the effort, "Really? Fraternal twins...that's so...original!"

Rodney looked like he was going to faint.

Charlotte just dropped her pack while smiling at Radek, "That's _wonderful_, Doctor Zelenka." She slowly bent at the knees ever so slightly so that she could fiddle about in her pack without startling the pregnant fellow across from her.

After all, pregnant people could be dangerous if you didn't have a container of Haagen-Dazs nearby with which to appease them. Which Charlotte was pretty sure she didn't.

Although...there was no telling what all Lennon had on _her_ person, the woman carried _everything_ with her.

"You know something, Charlie?" Lennon grinned sweetly, a look that most definitely didn't fit on her face, "I think we should have an impromptu baby shower for our dear expectant mummy."

"Really?" Radek squealed happily, clapping his hands like an amused five year old, "Oh that would be lovely! Don't you think so Rodney?"

McKay gulped, wondering why the hell these three weren't doing something about this insanity instead of pandering to Zelenka's crazy claims.

"I think you're absolutely _right_, Lenny!" Charlotte said cheerily, "And I have just the thing here in my pack...hang on a second."

"Are you all insane?" McKay squeaked, "There's no way he's having a baby! And there's no way in hell it's _mine!_"

Radek's eye flashed angrily, "Just what _exactly_ are you insinuating, Rodney?"

Lennon looked to Rodney, trying to communicate with her wide eyes that he should shut the hell up while he was ahead, just stay silent and look stupid.

Well, Rodney never was the observant type...

"Radek, I've never..I mean you and..it's not possible!"

Angry tears welled up in Radek's eyes, "Oh Rodney! How could you!" and he started sobbing.

"McKay!" Lennon exclaimed, trying to comfort the mess of a pregnant man who had just started clinging to her arm.

"Don't you yell at him!" Radek stated, anger taking over the tears as he turned on Lennon.

"Uh..Charlie, I think now might be a good time," Lennon said, backing away from Zelenka a few steps, "The mood swings have started..."

"Mood swings? MOOD SWINGS?" Radek squawked, "They are NOT mood swings! My emotions are perfectly valid! Don't patronize me!" and he started weeping again.

Yeeeah..no mood swings there. Nope. None at all.

Charlotte was still digging around in her pack, "Working on it, Lenny."

Radek was about to advance on the geek, but instead he suddenly grabbed the side of his abdomen and let out a cry of pain, "Ooooh! I think the contractions have started!"

"WHAT?" Everyone shouted in unison, audience included.

"NOW CHARLIE!" Lennon screamed as Radek got hold of her arm with bruising strength as he waited for the contraction to pass.

"I can't find it!" Charlotte said anxiously.

Radek moaned and groaned and let out a squeak every now and again as he crushed Lennon's arm in one hand and held onto his stomach with the other, "Owaaaaow ow ow ow ow."

That was Lennon doing all that ow-ing, by the way. Radek had been reduced to nonsensical ravings and loud angry groans as he squeezed the geek's forearm to the point that he left marks in it with his short fingernails.

"Got it!" Charlotte pulled a small silver canister from her pack, pulled the pin, "Back away!" and dropped it on the ground.

Lennon yanked her arm from Radek's grasp and stepped away from him, tripping over one of her untied shoelaces in the process.

Blue smoke billowed out from the canister that Charlotte had dropped, obscuring everyone's vision for several minutes and causing them to all cough violently.

When it all dissipated a few minutes later, an unconscious and now nowhere near pregnant Radek Zelenka was on the floor.

As soon as everyone had regained their senses and were able to breathe properly again, Lennon walked right up to McKay and cuffed him on the side of the head.

"OW!" He squeaked, rubbing the lump that was quickly forming where Lennon had hit him, "What was that for?"

"For being an idiot! Don't you know you're not supposed to upset pregnant people?" Lennon said, quite ready to smack him again "What were you thinking? Of all the stupid, moronic-"

"Lenny, we don't have time for this!" Charlotte said hastily, stepping between her and McKay, "We have to find somewhere to stow Zelenka before he regains consciousness."

-------

A/N:It had to be done. IT HAD TO BE DONE! I defend that position to the death!

-watches as angry Zelenka fans advance on her- I mean not _literally_ to the death...I was just...just kidding! You know, a joke? Ha ha ha ha ha? Uuuuuh...ummm...I love him and I just...uh..no...wait...NOOOO!

-is attacked by the torch and pitchfork carrying population-

No seriously though, there might not be all _that_ many mpreg fics in the Atlantis 'verse (although, there are _some_, disturbing as that image is) I still had to address the cliché.

That's right, nothing is sacred or safe from my mocking! FEAR MY LACK OF SCRUPLES WHEN IT COMES TO MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE! FEEEEEEAR IT!

-cough- Too much Jolt! cola last night...so sorry. Anyway, I wanted to do something with Radek and since I already mentioned him in drag...well...I couldn't stop myself. Mpreg fics make me very wary (although they weird me out a little to begin with) especially when it's like, McKay and Sheppard having a child. Dear God, can you imagine? It would be the end of the world, I'm telling you.

Partially based on this prank I played on my best friend Bones a couple years ago. He was annoying me one night when I was sick with the flu, ordering me to go to bed and such and...well...I got annoyed and told him it was morning sickness. He didn't flip out until after I explained to him what morning sickness was (it's not that he's stupid, just...a guy). THEN you can cue the patented 'OMMFG WHO WAS IT? I'LL KILL THAT BASTARD' brotherish diatribe. It was priceless...especially when I ended it with a Darth Vaderish, heavy breathing 'And YOU'RE the father' thing...oh he was _so_ mad. He's _still_ trying to get back at me for it.

I should do that again sometime. Huh. Anyway, I'm like, out of ideas for the next chapter, so whatever you got, throw it at me quick. Also! The first chapter of 'From The Files Of The Plot Bunny Busters' has just been finished and shall be posted any second now. I have two more pieces of fan art (w00t) and I'm working on writing up some non-WPBA challenges for the WPBA forum. Go check it out.

And for everyone who has asked via PM, no, the plagiarist hasn't removed their story (one of them was taken down, but the other still remains) or written me back about it. I don't want you to flame this person either (what are we, two year olds?) I'm asking that if you spot their story, please drop them a review that lets them know that plagiarism is wrong and that you can see the similarities between my stories and theirs. That way, not only will _they_ get the message, but everyone who looks at the story's reviews will see it as well and _know_ that what they just read is a knock-off.

OH! And I heartily blame Rissa of the Saiya-Jin for the 'Rodders' thing...I was writing this and accidentally typed that instead of 'Rodney' 'cause I wasn't paying attention. I blame her because she keeps calling him Rodders...it just...stuck. I ALSO had to go back and change something because RougeNebulan reminded me that fraternal twins are even more cliché than identical twins within the confines of fanfic. I thought about that last night before I went to bed (omg, I actually _slept_ at night for a change) but forgot to put that in there this morning when I was putting the last bits of polish on the chapter. Thanks for refreshing my memory, dear.


	51. Dry Cleaning Receipts Don't Taste Good

Dawn rubbed the small of her back as she leaned against the door of the closet that they had just carried Zelenka to and stuffed him in, "That's the second canon we've moved today."

"Oh quit whinin'," Lennon snarked as she sat down on the floor next to the blonde, also rubbing her back, "When I was your age I did that kind of lifting for fun."

"Lenny, you're only seven years older than I am."

"Not if you factor in all the time traveling that I've done," Lennon replied, wincing as she adjusted herself, "That adds to your age, you know."

Dawn's brows furrowed, "But your file says you're twenty five."

"I am. Within the confines of the theory of linear time in _our_ space time continuum. I'm something like...uh...thirty two with all the fandom age tacked on." She stretched again and reluctantly got to her feet.

"Wow," Dawn replied, staring off into space, thinking about how nonchalant Lennon was being about having an extra seven years on her lifespan.

"Meh." The geek cracked her back once more and rubbed her shoulder, "C'mon, Charlie will be waiting for us."

------

Charlotte was quickly learning just why it was that Lennon had cuffed McKay in the head so readily.

If she had been stuck with him all day, she might have lost it and socked him too. He was one of those people who could get on your nerves just by being in your general vicinity and breathing.

In fact, she was fast approaching the point where she was ready to hit him upside the head herself.

However, that was inappropriate behavior for a Buster commander to indulge in, against several Canon conventions and regulations, so she just settled in and prayed Lennon would return soon and bop him on the head for her.

She didn't have to wait long. For only moments after she had lit up a fresh cigar, Lennon and Dawn entered the storage room where she and McKay were holed up.

"You take care of him?" Charlotte asked nonchalantly, puffing away on her cigar.

"Yeah," Dawn stretched, "Heavier than Weir, that one."

"With all the canons we've been stuffing in closets lately, it's a wonder there's any empty ones left on the base," Lennon remarked as she pulled a half eaten power bar out of her shirt pocket and took a bite of it.

McKay coughed in an over exaggerated manner several times as Charlotte continued puffing on her cigar.

When _that_ didn't work, he made his point by actually _saying_ the word, "Cough, cough, _choke_."

Charlotte lifted an eyebrow and readjusted the cigar between her lips. "What?" She asked, completely innocent, as though she had no idea what he was going on about.

"That thing is offensive." He pointed at the cigar, "_Smelling_. I mean it smells _bad_."

"Oh for cryin' out loud." Lennon snatched the cigar straight from Charlotte's lips, inhaled a huge amount of smoke and blew it directly in McKay's face before handing it back to it's owner, "There, now you _actually_ have something to complain about."

He sputtered as his eyes teared up at the tobacco smoke, "That-" He coughed, "That was _completely_ uncalled for!"

"I didn't think so," Lennon answered before she turned back to her superior, "Are we goin', or what?"

------

McKay was coughing violently, (mostly for show, if we're being completely honest) as the four traveled along the corridors of the city, growing (unbeknownst to them) ever closer to the Amnesia Bunny den.

However, Techie was putting that off for as long as possible because as soon as they hit the Amnesia den, the story would soon be coming to a close and she wasn't quite ready for that _just_ yet.

Either way, the four traveled along at a steady clip for close to twenty minutes without incident.

Well, not _completely_ without incident. Lennon and McKay were arguing again, and it was starting to grate on Charlotte's nerves.

"I'm telling you, it _is_ possible! I've had to actually deal with the concept in _practice_!"

"Don't be absurd!" McKay snarked back at Lennon, "What you're suggesting goes against every law of physics there is!"

Lennon put her hands on her hips and stopped walking, glaring at McKay, "The laws of physics don't apply at Milliways. _I_ learned that the hard way!"

McKay crossed his arms over his chest and also stopped walking, "The laws of physics apply _everywhere_, hence the fact that they're LAWS!"

"You are the most impossible man I have EVER met!" Lennon shouted exasperatedly, "Charlie will you shoot him please?"

Charlotte also stopped walking and turned to look at Lennon, "Nothing would give me greater pleasure, Lenny, but you know the rules."

"Rules, rules, rules! It's always rules with you! And after every-" Lennon stopped speaking suddenly, her eyes growing wide as she stared behind her superior officer.

Charlotte spun around and saw just what had stopped Lennon's mouth from running away with her.

There were four people standing directly across from Lennon, Charlotte, Dawn and McKay in the corridor.

Four _identical_ people.

Identical as in there were two sets of Busters and two McKays _staring_ at each other.

All eight people instantaneously aimed at each other.

"Hold your fire!" Both Charlottes shouted in unison as their teammates trained their weapons on their doubles.

"Are they Antis?" Dawn asked anxiously as she chewed her bottom lip, not taking her aim off...herself.

"No," the Dawn across from the Dawn who had just queried replied, "We're not Antis...are _you_?"

"No."

"How can we be certain? They could be lying!" both McKays said in perfect unison.

They turned on each other and spoke in tandem again, "Stop that."

"No _you_ stop it!" They both said angrily.

"I'm not going to stop it, you stop it!" The two physicists flailed their arms in an identical fashion, "STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!"

"I'd say that's a pretty good indication that they aren't," Charlotte said before turning back to look at the Charlotte standing across from her, "So if you're not Antis..."

"Time travel bunny," the other Charlotte (who shall be hereby referred to as 'Future Charlotte' to avoid further confusion, since your heads are all most likely spinning right now) said, answering the unasked question posed by her double.

"A time travel bunny? I don't buy it." Lennon narrowed her eyes at the Lennon across from her, "If you're _really_ me, what's my favorite movie of all time?"

"Something I'm not going to say in public...or out loud, for that matter." Future Lennon looked at Lennon pointedly, "_Ever_."

"Yup...she's me alright." Lennon brought her gun down.

"How far into the future?" Dawn asked, looking at her own time traveling double with wide eyes, "A few hours?"

"Six days."

"Six days?" Lennon grumbled, "You mean to tell me we're still here in _six_ days?"

"There were..." the Future Lennon winced, "complications."

Lennon's eyes grew wide, "What..what _possible_ complications could there be that we're not aware of already?"

The Future Lennon spoke, "Well, we-"

"We can't tell you that." Future Charlotte said sternly, looking at Future Lennon reprovingly, "You know the policy on messing with the space time continuum by divulging information on future events to past selves."

"Oh, come _on_! Make an exception in _this_ case," Lennon said unhappily, wishing for any information that might clue her in on the future injuries and emotional traumas coming over the next few days.

Future Lennon looked at Future Charlotte pleadingly as the two McKays continued arguing with each other.

"No, Lenny," Future Charlotte said firmly, "You can't. It'll change the course of our own history. Grandfather paradox and all like that."

Future Charlotte's watch suddenly started beeping and she glanced down at it, "Alright. That's our cue. C'mon, we gotta go." She turned back to her past self, "Good luck."

Charlotte nodded in understanding. The less contact that they had with their future selves, the better. "Same to you."

With that, the Future Dawn and Charlotte passed their current counterparts and made their way down the hallway.

Both McKays were still arguing with each other, and the Future Lennon had to grab the Future McKay by the back of his shirt and yank him along behind her down the corridor.

A small bit of paper, yellow in color, fell to the ground as the Future Lennon passed and Lennon picked it up.

Charlotte didn't miss this exchange and asked suspiciously, "What is it, Lenny?"

Lennon opened the small piece of paper, read the scrawl which she recognized as her own sloppy handwriting and felt her eyes get so big behind her glasses she thought they might drop out of their sockets.

"Uh...it's uh..."

"Well?"

Lennon quickly reread the message, crumpled up the piece of paper, "Nothing. Dry cleaning receipt." and stealthily ate it.

----------------

A/N: That last line makes me giggle hardcore. I can just see Lenny crumpling up that 'dry cleaning receipt' and swallowing it so that it wont be read...heheheheh...a shame none of you know what's on it.

Kinda a shame that I don't know either. -whistles- Hey, Lenny isn't the only one who thinks that flying by the seat of your pants is the only way to travel.

Thank God for Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure. I was so bloody stuck after the last chapter I cleaned my bedroom (I'm weird when I have writer's block) and came upon an old poster from the flick.

KABOOM plot bunny.

Thank you movie time travel confusing circular logic! I mean think about it, if you met your future self who has just had a bunch of adventures and then you go off and have those same adventures, then you'll eventually have to meet your past self, the self that hasn't had all those adventures yet, and then that self will have to go and have adventures and then meet with it's past self and it goes on and on and on.

Or am I the only one who thinks about things like that?

I just gave you a massive headache with that, didn't I?

Time for another challenge! I _highly_ doubt anyone will take up this challenge, **but**-

What's Len's favorite movie and why won't she admit what it is? Hmmmm? I have to wonder to myself what you'd think it is...and even more, how she came across it and _why_ it's her favorite. Blah..write a one-shot about it dearies. It can be as silly as you like.

Meeting Of Minds has just ended -sad about it- but the last chapter has given me such ideas...-cough-

I have to apologize for this taking so long to be updated, but alas, I must conserve as much internet time as humanly possible and writer's block tends to set in when I can't read fanfic. -grumbles-


	52. Walkin' In A Winter Blunderland

Lennon Fisk was a strange woman. There was no contesting that fact. However, eating a dry cleaning receipt, in Charlotte's opinion, went far beyond the realm of Lennon's usual peculiarities.

This even beat out that one time in the Cleo 'Verse, and that, my friends, was one hell of a feat.

But that's another story.

Or rather, a chapter _to_ another story. Which is currently in progress and which has very few reviews and-

"Can we _please_ get back on topic here?" Lennon asked impatiently, "Stop whoring yourself out for reviews! My God woman, have you no shame?"

No...no I don't. Not an ounce. My track record thus far should prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I don't.

However, in the interests of keeping everyone's favorite character happy (how that had happened, Techie wasn't entirely certain, since Lennon really shouldn't have been all that likeable, what with all her personality defeats and all) and-

"Personality defects?" The geek all but shouted, "Listen here you overly Caffinated, pixie stick eatin' freak, I don't **have** to put up with this. I got people linin' up to write about _me_. I could just as easily defect and-"

"Look at what happened the last time someone _else_ got ahold of you and wrote approved Busters canon...You wouldn't want another...'incident', now would you Lenny?"

Lennon stopped speaking in mid-rant, her eyes growing wide. While no one else in the story knew what those little air quotes signified, Lennon knew all too well.

So she wisely shut her yap and let Techie start the chapter all over again.

Ahem. Let's rewind.

Lennon Fisk was a strange woman. There was no contesting that fact. However, eating a dry cleaning receipt, in Charlotte's opinion, went far beyond the realm of Lennon's usual peculiarities.

This even beat out that one time in the Cleo 'Verse, and that, my friends, was one hell of a feat.

But that's another story.

Oh she had _tried_ to make it look like she had shoved the paper in her pocket, but Charlotte had heard the dry gulp after Lennon crumpled up the paper, and knew that she had swallowed it. Of all the things that Charlotte had ever seen Lennon do, _that_ had to be considered one of the weirdest.

Clearly, the future Lennon had disobeyed a direct order and had given the present Lennon some insight on the events that would be occurring over the next few days. That was no surprise, since Lennon had a serious problem with listening to those in charge, even when it was Charlotte who was in the position of authority.

It was just part of her rebellious nature, so it shouldn't have been much of a shock that the future Lennon had done what she had.

Whatever it is that she did, that is...since Techie still hadn't figured out just what was on that paper, and was thusly having plot development problems.

Now while Lennon was a _strange_ woman, Charlotte Walker was a bright one. Much smarter than anyone ever gave her credit for. Therefore, she _knew_ that something was up. In fact, something had been up with Lennon ever since last night...

Something that she refused to mention or admit to her superior officer.

From past experience, Charlotte knew that the only time Lennon _ever_ kept things from her, was if it was something that would jeopardize the mission if it were known. In other words, Lennon only lied to Charlotte when she had a _damn_ good reason.

Charlotte, knowing that Lennon never did **anything** _without_ a reason, let it go. Whatever it was, the CO trusted her subordinate's judgment. When one had worked with a person for seven years, one knew when to let things go and when to pursue them. This was _clearly_ one of the times when she would have to let it go, regardless of how curious she was about what was written on that piece of paper.

Somehow, over the course of their journey and Charlotte's intenal monologue of the past few paragraphs since the last chapter, Lennon had managed to move to the front of the group.

No one was sure as to _why_ this had happened, since it was agency policy for the team's leader to remain on point, but happen it did, simply because it was necessary for the next plot device to work properly.

The four continued on their way along the corridors of the city for about twenty minutes in this formation, before Dawn noticed that something felt off.

"Is it cold to you guys at all?" The blonde asked, her shoulders giving an involuntary shiver as she wrapped her arms around herself.

"Now that you mention it, it is a little nippy," Charlotte replied, "Like...maybe thirty two degrees."

"That's weird," Dawn said unnecessarily, "I thought the city was set up to keep things around seventy two or so."

"It is," McKay cut in, "There must be a malfunction of some sort with the environmental controls."

"Strange," Charlotte said, "It feels like it's gotten even colder now that we've walked foreword a few more feet."

"That's nothing," Lennon said abruptly, stopping in mid stride, "It's _snowing_."

"Indoors?" McKay asked in disbelief, as he peered around the geek. There was indeed a curtain of snow coming down a few feet in front of her, falling at a steady pace and blanketing the ground before them.

"Apparently so," Lennon answered, looking just as muddled as Rodney felt.

"Is it _real_ snow?" Dawn asked, interested.

The geek walked foreword a few steps and stuck her hand out into the fluffy stuff that was falling in large feathery flakes. "It _feels_ real enough."

Lennon turned to look at her superior, "What do you think? A Holiday!fic? Someone playing with the winter months?"

"Most likely." Charlotte said, touching the curtain of snow that was falling in awe, "I've never been in a 'verse during a winter Holiday!fic in progress. Valentines and Halloween, sure, but never the 'Big Two'."

Dawn looked at Charlotte questioningly, "The 'Big Two'?"

"Christmas and New Years," Lennon said simply, answering a question that hadn't even been directed at her, "They're called the 'Big Two' because they're the ones that fic authors tend to favor. Both of 'em come with their own built in set of problems and plot devices...we're gonna have to be extra careful when we go through here." She motioned at the flurries.

McKay pegged a finger at the snow, "I'm not going through that."

"Excuse me?" Lennon turned on him, "Why not? I thought you Canadians were supposed to be a hearty breed. Impervious to cold and such."

"I've already survived a hurricane today, it's a wonder I don't already have pneumonia. Hearty Canadian or not, I don't want to tempt fate. In fact, I've got this weird tickle at the back of my throat and-"

Lennon rolled her eyes, moved swiftly behind McKay and gave him a shove, pushing him right through the curtain of snow.

On the other side, it was like a whole different world. The walls were crusted over completely with ice and there were icicles hanging from the ceiling. It was almost like a fairy tale, with the way it all glistened and gleamed, light winking off the slick, shiny walls.

"_Wow_," was the only thing that Lennon could come up with to say as she stepped through the snowy divider.

"It's like a fairy tale," Dawn said when she followed behind Lennon, looking around herself in wonderment.

See, what did I tell you?

Charlotte's teeth were chattering mere moments after she entered the winterized portion of the hallway and Lennon looked at her skeptically.

"What?" Charlotte asked, trying to keep her jaw clenched so that her teeth wouldn't chatter so hard that she chipped the enamel, "I'm from California, remember? I don't do cold."

Lennon motioned at Charlotte while looking at McKay, "See? She's not used to the cold and I didn't have to push _her_ through. I don't see what _you_ have to complain about."

"Well _she_ didn't have to live through hurricane like conditions out on grounding station three."

"_I_ did, and you don't see _me_ whining."

"Lenny, ordinarily I would be touched by your show of support in this instance, but I'm really, _really_ cold, so if we could move along as quickly as possible and find that Holiday!Bunny and kill it, I'd _really_ appreciate it."

"Right." Lennon brought her gun back up, and brushed some of the snow out of her eyes before continuing down the hallway.

The snow in the hallway was getting deeper, almost two inches of thickly packed powder, as they plodded along, and it was seeping inside Lennon's sneakers, making her toes feels slightly numb and tingly. Her glasses were trying to fog up as well. How _that_ worked, she wasn't sure, but she finally got so fed up with it that she just took them off and slipped them into her pocket.

Now everything was blurry in addition to the snow obscuring her vision.

A quick scurrying movement caught her attention, pulling her out of her thoughts about whether or not any advances had been made in the field of contact lens technology since the last time she'd worn them-

(See 'From The Files Of The Plot Bunny Busters, Chapter Three: The One That Started It All)

Lennon stopped walking and glared upwards, "Didn't we already talk about the whoring yourself out thing?"

A grumble of 'sorry' and then silence was the geek's only reply.

Anyway, back to the scurrying movement. Right.

Lennon saw the little white, red and green blob scramble through the snow and just _knew_ it was a bunny.

She stopped and slipped her spectacles back on. Yes, right there in the snow, wearing a Santa cap with some holly tacked to it, was a cute, white, fluffy Holiday!Bunny. "Bunny, twelve 'o clock high," she said, causing the other three to look past her at the small creature.

Lennon saw the rabbit, and the rabbit saw Lennon seeing _it_.

It wasn't stupid, it knew it should run.

So that's precisely what it did.

Lennon shot at it as it scampered away down the corridor, but missed. She dashed after it, almost slipping in the sloshy snow as she gave chase.

The other three were close behind.

By the time they had caught up with the geek, there was nothing left of the bunny but a red blotch in the snow and a tattered Santa hat.

Techie chuckled at that image for some reason.

There was no snow coming down inside the storage room where Lennon had cornered and slaughtered the beast, so Charlotte saw an opportunity to get out of the damp cold and followed Lennon inside.

Or she _tried_ to follow her inside, rather. It didn't exactly work out that way.

As she stepped through the doorway, Charlotte's feet became stuck to the floor as though she was stuck in quick sand. She tried to lift one of her legs, and found that she couldn't.

It was as if she was glued to the spot.

Charlotte looked at the geek in slight confusion, "Uh...Lenny?"

Lennon turned and looked at Charlotte, barely stifling a laugh as she saw what was hanging above the CO's head.

Charlotte followed Lennon's gaze and saw a piece of Mistletoe hanging in the doorway.

"Oh hell!" Charlotte exclaimed, "Fic!Mistletoe."

She tried to pull herself away from the doorway, but to no avail. She just kept snapping back like a rubber band.

Lennon doubled over laughing. She just couldn't stop herself. It just _looked_ funny. Charlotte was struggling against some invisible force that had rooted her to the spot and it had to be one of the most amusing displays Lennon had ever seen.

"Lenny! It's not funny! Get me out from under here!"

"I can't. You know how Fic!Mistletoe works. You can't get out from under it unless someone kisses you."

"So?" Charlotte squeaked desperately, "Peck me on the cheek or something!"

"Someone of the _opposite_ sex." Lennon chuckled.

Charlotte went buggy eyed and glanced to her left, seeing that McKay had walked up out of the corner of her eye.

She glared upwards, cursed her creator nastily under her breath, and grumbled while maneuvering herself to the point that she was able to grab McKay by the collar. She pulled him close and pressed her lips to his just long enough to break the hold that the magical Fic!Mistletoe had on her.

Lennon's amusement morphed into jealousy in mere moments, and she was unsure as to how it had happened.

"Alright alright, that's enough of that!" The geek seized McKay by the back of his shirt and pulled him away from her superior officer.

The man was positively gobsmacked as he was yanked away from the Busters commander. Not so much gobsmacked over the whole being yanked away thing, but the kissing thing. _That_ had shocked him. Not in an unpleasant way, or anything, but that sort of thing just doesn't happen to McKay every day.

Charlotte backed away out from under the Mistletoe, wiping her mouth as she pointed towards the plant that had forced her into kissing a canon, "Lenny, get rid of the stuff."

Lennon shoved down her feelings of insane jealousy, knowing that her CO hadn't had any choice in the matter, nodded and walked up under the entryway where Charlotte had been stuck just moments before. She jumped up and snatched the Mistletoe from where it was hanging, crumpling it in her palm in the process.

Dawn was totally, utterly confused by this exchange, and let her bafflement be known. "How is it that Charlotte got stuck under it and you didn't, Lenny?" The young Buster asked.

"I'm Jewish. Mistletoe is a Christmas custom. Therefore, I'm exempt," Lennon dropped her pack on the ground and shoved what was left of the Mistletoe inside a specimen jar, "I think the bunny lured me here on purpose...it figured that I'd get stuck the way that Charlie did and then it would strike."

"They're getting smarter," Charlotte said as she shivered in the cold, "This is bad."

"They're _rabbits_," McKay cut in, his shock finally dissipating, "No matter what kind of weird powers they may have, their brains _still_ aren't even the size of my fist, how smart could they possibly be?"

"Well," Lennon picked up her pack and slung it over her shoulder, "There have been a few documented cases of alpha-type bunnies, but they're pretty rare."

"Alpha...type. Tell me something, do you just make this stuff up as you go?"

"No, _I_ don't, _she_ does," Lennon said, pointing upwards, "But that's beside the point. Alpha-Type bunnies have human characteristics."

"Like horror bunnies," Charlotte added, with her teeth chattering, "They're the size of a normal human being, but thankfully their purpose doesn't really require any higher brain functions, so they aren't a threat."

"It's the ones that start evolving past their original _mental_ limitations that we have to worry about," Lennon motioned at the red splotch in the snow at her feet, "It looks like that's the case in this instance. This Holiday!Bunny was sharp enough to implement a rather sophisticated plan which would have rendered me at it's mercy."

The small room was silent for several moments as the four ruminated on the fact that they had just come upon a plot bunny capable of thought that was more than pure instinct and was instead premeditative and cognizant in nature.

Well, it was silent except for Charlotte's violent teeth chattering.

Poor thing.

_---Techie's tired of filling in time, so we're skipping ahead to later that night---_

"AHCHOO!"

Charlotte coughed and sniffled off in the corner of the room where the four had decided to bunk down for the night.

It had taken them close to an hour of tracking throught the snow earlier in the day before they finally managed to wipe out all of the Holiday!fic bunnies.

By the time they were through, Charlotte was sufffering from some pretty nasty flu like symptoms, brought on by the frigid cold and damp, so they found a small storage room and settled in a little early. Dawn was changing the bandaging on McKay's head, since it had gotten incredibly filthy throughout the trials of the day, and Lennon was looking through her pack for something that would help relieve Charlotte's symptoms.

Since having an incapacitated commanding officer was never a good thing, helping her get over this case of the sniffles was really high up on the priority list.

Apparently, she wasn't kidding about her low tolerance for the weird freezing indoor weather. She had come down with a nasty cold within a couple of hours of first coming in contact with the snow and had grown steadily worse since then.

"Ah...found it." Charlotte sneezed again as Lennon withdrew a hypospray from her pack and walked over to the corner where Charlotte was leaning against the wall.

"One twenty third century cure for the common cold." The tech expert pushed the commander's hair aside and pressed the device to her throat, releasing the medication into her friend's bloodstream, "You'll be better by morning. _If_ you sleep."

"Buh I hah do dake a sift." Charlotte said, her nose swollen and red, making her voice come out very nasal and fuzzy.

"No, you don't have to take a shift. I'll just pull double duty tonight." Lennon pulled a blanket off one of the storage room shelves and shook it out before spreading it over Charlotte.

"I cand ak you do do dat." Charlotte protested.

"Oh you'll make it up to me when we get home," Lennon said as she tucked the blanket around Charlotte's legs.

"I dow I wi-Ah..ah...AHCHOO!"

Lennon wiped her face where Charlotte had managed to sneeze on her, "Charming, Charlie, just charming."

"Oh bide be."

Lennon roughly translated that as being 'Oh, bite me' and she snarked back accordingly, "I'd rather not...wouldn't want to run the risk of catching anything."

Charlotte glared at Lennon as strongly as she could, which wasn't very since she was in such sad shape.

"Just get some rest." Lennon patted Charlotte's knee and got up off the floor.

----------

Anti Lennon smiled at her view screen, looking very, _very_ pleased with herself.

"What?" Anti Madison leaned over the shoulder of her comrade and tried to get a good look at the tablet PC.

The geek just continued grinning, "Just a little while longer, Nelson...you'll see."

---------

A/N:Fic!Mistletoe. You all know you've seen it. It's in those Holiday!fics when some canon or another ends up under the mistletoe and someone just _has_ to kiss them.

Alright, I swear I have a good excuse for not updating anything in a week. I just can't think what it is right now.

Oh right. I didn't have **internet access**. That's right. Netzero went all funky on me and refused to work. -grumble- Do you have any idea how much E-Mail I had waiting for me when I signed on tonight? -crosses her eyes- It was a _lot_. Over three hundred messages and all of them either review/story alerts or from people I _know_. -falls off chair-

BEFORE I FORGET YET AGAIN! There are two responses to the Lenny's favorite movie challenge, one of which isn't uploaded yet but I'm assured it's on the way (and I can't wait, seriously, she said she used my fave flick as Lenny's -happy dancing-) and the other, I have to track down the link and read it. Sadly, since my brain is made of cottage cheese, I can't remember who it was that wrote them O.O...I'm sorry, very, _very_ sorry, but I get **so** many PMs it's hard to keep it straight in my head. FORGIVE ME! If you guys will tell me again, I swear I'll put your names here in the AN so that you'll get credit for the work you've done on the challenge and then everyone else will go off and read 'em.

RogueNebulan wrote a response to the Muses' poker night challenge (how I managed to remember _that_ I have no idea), and it was great. So check that out.

ALSO! There's more fan art at the message board, by uh...-slams head on keyboard in hopes of restoring her memory- Myriadragon! That's right! They are like some of the _cutest_ plot bunnies I've **ever** seen.

Right! I think that's everything. I'm still fishing for clichés kiddies, since I'm almost out of ideas (which means the end of the story isn't too far off -gasp-) so if there's something you want to see, tell me now before it's too late.


	53. Attack Of The Amorous Athosian

A couple of changes in perspective, but I've tried to keep them seamless. I think...plus it's got a touch of…um...steaminess to it, which I've always dreaded writing. It's not that I'm a prude, just all the blood tends to rush to my face when I write it, thusly cutting the amount of freshly oxygenated blood getting to my brain drastically. Which, considering how my brain functions usually, is a bad thing.

-----------------

Late into the night, sometime during Lennon's second watch, her eyelids started to droop and sleep tried to overtake the geek.

Now usually, Lennon was always perfectly awake and alert during her watches and the only time she ever fell asleep was if there were extenuating circumstances working against her, like sleeping gas or something to that effect.

However, she'd barely slept at all since she'd been in the fandom, catching a few minutes of sleep after the Sue Spore debacle, and then about an hour and a half the night before, and it just wasn't enough.

Lennon's head dropped foreword onto her chest before she jerked awake again, shaking off the sleep that was tugging at the edges of her consciousness, trying to overwhelm her. She was _so_ exhausted, that her neck felt like it was no longer able to support the weight of her head.

Her whole body felt that way, to be honest. Her muscles were sore, in that way that your muscles get sore after an hour and a half on a rowing machine without a break. Her joints ached and her tendons felt like taffy that had been pulled too far. All in all, she felt really tired in every sense of the word.

The geek shifted against the wall, trying to find a position that was comfortable enough not to cause pain, but uncomfortable enough so that she wouldn't fall asleep. It was a harder task than she anticipated, especially considering the fact that almost every position either made one or more of her abused muscles ache, or was _so_ comfortable that she could easily see herself nodding off.

Oh what she would have given for a bottle of cherry coke and some No-Doze at that moment in time. In fact, those two items seemed like they were the most precious commodities she could have possibly thought of in her current state. Caffeine and pill form stimulant. A sleep deprived woman's best friends in times of crisis.

Lennon yawned and glanced down at her watch, hitting a button on the side which caused the faceplate to light up with the soft glow of an LCD.

Two AM.

Scratch that, two-oh-one AM.

Only an hour left and then she could go to sleep...she could handle that, right? It was _just_ one more hour she'd have to stay awake and-

Lennon's head flopped back as she finally lost her valiant battle with Morpheus.

Well, so much for _that_.

The storage room remained quiet as the four companions slept, all of them quite unaware of anything and everything that was going on around them, rather dead to the world due to their exhaustion. The only sound within the confines of the storage room was their collective breathing and a sharp, stuffy nosed snore from Charlotte every now and then.

It was peaceful, strangely enough. An unfamiliar adjective in the strange, kaleidoscopic world of parody that Atlantis had become over the past week or so.

McKay whimpered slightly in his sleep as he dreamed of a certain attractive Colonel.

No, not Sheppard, you slash shippers...shame on you.

I'm talking about _Carter_ here Geez...you people.

The dream was always the same, he'd had it a handful of times ever since he first met the blonde and each time it happened again, he grew to appreciate those Victoria's Secret commercials more and more.

He shifted and rolled over onto his side as the dream continued.

A sinewy female hand slunk up his spine and gripped his shoulder firmly, gently forcing him to return to his former position on his back.

He grumbled drowsily.

The same hand slowly wandered up the length of his torso, causing one of his abdominal muscles to twitch at the almost ticklish sensation.

He groggily opened his eyes and found Teyla leaning over him, supporting her weight with one hand which was situated behind his head and the other hand wriggling between the opening in his uniform jacket, caressing his chest through his tee-shirt.

All the sleepiness he had been feeling just moments before drained away like so much water from a sieve. There was a red silk lingerie clad Teyla Emmagen straddling his thighs, looking at him with her deep brown eyes glazed over with lust and her smile feral.

He was suddenly _very_ alert.

Techie tried to keep herself from typing a very, _very_ naughty pun at this point, and had to sit on her hands for close to a minute and a half until the urge to make a dirty, off color joke passed.

Alright, so it was more like five minutes...the point is, she managed to keep herself from it. She should be commended, because it was really, _really_ difficult.

"Good morning, Rodney," Teyla said, her voice dripping with that silk over steel quality that only seductresses possess. It just _oozed_ sex with every honey coated syllable. It was the sort of voice that called to mind torch songs and jazz clubs and it was very nearly Rodney's undoing.

McKay gulped harshly, trying to force his mouth into making sound which could pass for coherent speech. All that came out was a croak of "G'morning."

The Athosian looked at him from beneath hooded lids as her hand traveled upwards from it's former place on his chest to stroke his chin softly.

McKay, unsurprisingly, was speechless. Even though he'd had a dream like this a couple of times before, it was different _this_ time. This time he felt uncomfortable...not at all like the _other_ times. This wasn't right somehow. Though he couldn't put his finger on why.

Teyla's fingers walked back down McKay's chest and traveled further south, towards his belt, her eyes still shining mischievously in the dark.

There was another five minutes of hand sitting from the author at this moment in time...really, the dirty jokes were writing themselves at this point.

McKay got hold of his senses suddenly and grabbed her wandering hand, his vocabulary returning in full force, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Really, Rodney...I know you do not get out much, but I would think that someone as smart as you would be able to connect the dots."

Alright, Techie totally deserves a medal for not writing down the pun that came to mind with _that_ sentence.

Damn, but it was a good one though!

Teyla leaned foreword, her hand still clutched in McKay's, and pressed her lips to his.

Every logical synapse in his brain was screaming at him, throwing up red flags left and right, alarms going off, sirens wailing inside his head and they all signified the same thing.

Teyla Emmagen, diplomat, friend and leader of the Athosian people, would _never_ in a million years act like this. Not even in his _wildest_ dreams did she act like _this_.

His next clue that there was something wrong here, was the un-Teyla-like squeak from her as she was grabbed by the back of her hair and dragged off of him.

McKay's savior was Lennon, who had managed to slam Teyla face first onto the floor and shoved a syringe filled with red liquid unceremoniously in the Athosian's shoulder within a matter of seconds. She dug her knee into Teyla's spine until she stopped struggling, twisting one of her arms behind her back viciously in the process.

It took close to a minute and a half for Teyla to finally stop wriggling, and by this point, McKay had recovered from his initial shock and-

Techie actually had to bite the heel of her left hand and beat on her thigh with her fist to keep that one in.

Let's just say initial shock, ok? Yes. That's good. We can avoid taking that thought any further because it could get seriously blue otherwise.

Lennon shifted and got up off Teyla's back, turning to look at McKay appraisingly, her eyes flashing momentarily with anger and another emotion that McKay couldn't identify.

"Get up, McKay," she spat as quietly as possible, trying not to wake the other occupants of the storage room, "Help me move her."

He didn't move, just stared at the unconscious form of Teyla Emmagen thoughtfully.

"Unless you'd rather wait for her to wake up so you can keep making out with her."

His head snapped up and he glared at the geek, "Excuse me? She had me pinned!"

"Ooooh, yeah, riiiight." Lennon rolled her eyes and moved to grab Teyla's ankles.

He quickly got to his feet and stalked over to where Teyla lay and grabbed both of her wrists, hoisting her off the floor. "She _did_ have me pinned!"

"Oh yeah, you were real helpless. Uh huh. Sure. No, no, I believe you." Lennon walked backwards through the entryway to the storage room, trying not to lose her grip on the unconscious Athosian as she did so, "Why on earth _wouldn't_ you gallantly struggle against a woman on top of you in Victoria's Secret page thirty two in an effort to maintain your honor?"

McKay glared at her, "Is it my fault that she accosted me that way? Hm? I bet there's another one of those bunny things at fault for this, isn't there? And-wait a minute...page thirty two? How do you know that this ensemble is-"

"I own this one," Lennon said carelessly.

The geek got immense pleasure out of seeing Rodney drop Teyla on her head.

-----------

A/N: Lenny in lingerie...not the most likely scenario in the world, but let's just go with the 'it was a gift' defense. It works for my Spice Girls CDs, it'll work for Lenny's red silk lingerie...Shoot, now I'm curious about who bought it for her...-smirk- nah..it'd be too cruel to make _that_ a challenge. Oh, but it could be funny...eh...go for it if you want XD

Ahem...now to the actual plot of this chapter. You know you've seen these types of fics. A female canon character suddenly turns into Jessica Freaking Rabbit and seduces one of the male characters, regardless of how OOC it might seem. They're fun to write (this was a blast to do) but they can easily turn into something horrible and cheesily smutty.

Originally, that was gonna be Carter tryin' to take advantage of McKay, but I decided against it. Even though I had something _else_ in mind for Teyla, this was too good an opportunity to pass up. Plus, bringing Carter into the equation would have just gummed up the works later on.

I really did have to force myself not to write dirty jokes in there. I've never written anything even _remotely_ steamy, and my apprehension, like all things I'm uncomfortable with, tried to turn into humor. Really, really, _very_ inappropriate humor which would have upped the rating had I written it out.

I think, for my first try at something sorta sexually charged, that I did ok.

It almost killed me to do, so hopefully, it was passable.

Oh, and Elizabeth Bartlett and nwfairy both wrote responses to the Lenny's favorite movie challenge, and I _know_ there's one more out there which hasn't been posted yet (the one that uses _my_ fave flick as Lenny's), but since I can't find the PM from the person who wrote it, I am, alas, at a loss.

Show me the love.


	54. Published, Published, Published

Techie sat down at her computer and logged into Yahoo! mail. She had set up her egg timer for twenty minutes, so that she wouldn't use up too much of her carefully allotted ten hours of internet, and sped through reading as many e-mails as humanly possible.

She clicked on one from someone she had spoken to from the Digital Webbing Comics talent search page, expecting yet _another_ rejection letter. There was an artist that she had contacted about a story concept he'd had which he wanted fleshed out by a writer, and since she didn't have any script samples to send him, she hadn't held out much hope that she'd get the job. _But_, she _had_ sent the link to her fanfiction as a means of showing him her writing style...

As the page loaded, she skimmed over it quickly, directly before she fainted dead away.

She _actually_ fainted.

Now just to be clear, let's make sure you get the fact that she really lost consciousness. Just fell off her chair and hit her head on the floor.

About a minute later, she came to when the egg timer went off.

She scrambled up off the floor, (which was desperately in need of a vacuuming, if the crumbs gathered on her tee shirt was any indication) and reread the letter.

Techie's eyes got big and she stopped breathing, as she read and _reread_ the message, certain that she was suffering from some kind of hallucination. She rubbed her eyes before reading the letter yet _again_.

And again.

And again.

After more than thirty seconds without oxygen, her lungs gently reminded her that breathing was a necessary activity and she gasped, her chest hurting with the sudden, harsh intake of breath.

That gasp quickly morphed into a wild, ecstatic cry of "YEEEEEEEEEEEE!" as she hopped around her bedroom, flailing her arms and bouncing off furniture, doing a pretty damn accurate impression of Tom Cruise on Oprah's couch.

Why was she so ecstatic, you ask?

Because she'd just been hired as a freelance comic book writer.

---------------

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! -is still bouncing around over the email- If everything goes according to plan, I'll be dropping by my local comic shop to buy a copy of my own comic within the next twelve months! I am just...so...I am...I'm BEYOND excited! I'm giddy! I haven't been this happy in...I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG! -squees-

I'm trying not to get too excited, since there's a good chance it wont come to anything in the end, since I'm not working for a company, but an individual and a bazillion things could go wrong, but I still can't seem to calm down.

Just the _idea_ of doing this has got me so giddy I'm giggling like a madman. Seriously, I'm channeling Mark Hamill's Joker over here. One word is running through my head, being screamed at me by my fangirly conscience '_Published, published, published_, **_PUBLISHED!_**'


	55. Captured!

You know why this thing hasn't been updated for an age?

Because my subconscious is lashing out in the form of writer's block and informing me that it doesn't want the story to end.

Which, with this chapter, is coming very, _very_ soon. Maybe ten more installments to come...perhaps less. Most likely less.

-cries-

--------------

Charlotte, after spending close to a month and a half in the wasteland that is Techie's hard drive, trapped in the limbo between chapters, between the end of chapter fifty three and the four possible beginnings of chapter fifty five, finally began to stir within the confines of the blanket that Lennon had draped over her.

She sniffled twice, her nose still horribly stuffed up from her bout with the winterized weather off in sector thirty and rolled over, her crusted over eyes cracked open and she blinked a few times, trying to banish the sandpapery feeling on her eyeballs.

As the room came into focus, two things became clear to the busters commander.

One, Lennon and McKay were both missing, and two, she was staring down the barrel of a gun held by someone who looked suspiciously like herself.

"Morning, sleeping beauty," the double said in a sing-song voice, cocking the hammer on her gun noisily.

From the corner of her eye, Charlotte saw movement where Dawn was lying, indicating that the noise from the gun had awakened her.

"Nice of you to join us, blondie," Anti-Charlotte said, her posture remaining exactly the same as she withdrew a second weapon from the waistband of her pants and pointed it behind herself at Dawn, who had just sat up with her eyes wide.

"One false move from either of you and you'll be suffering from lead poisoning," the evil double said dangerously, "Get up."

Charlotte took stock of her current situation, looking at the wicked version of herself, intently watching for any signs of weakness as she stood up slowly.

The young blonde across from the commanding officer mimicked her actions perfectly, gracefully rising from the floor with her hands held up near her face, showing her submission to the armed woman.

Charlotte's mind was racing as she was shoved towards her young teammate by her double.

"What do you want from us?" the redhead inquired in what she hoped was a no-nonsense, authoritative and gruff manner.

However, it came out as being more like 'Whud d'oo wand fum uth?' with her stuffy nose and all, eliciting a nasty smile from her twin.

Anti-Charlotte didn't answer, just stationed herself behind her two prisoners and urged them none too gently foreword with the barrels of her guns digging into their spines, "Move it."

_----Twenty Minutes Later----_

Charlotte and Dawn traveled along the corridors of Atlantis, their captor still behind them and still keeping the guns in their backs, urging them foreword step by step.

Charlotte's mind was awash in activity as she went over every training mission that covered this sort of problem, finding none of the accepted solutions to be viable options in this situation.

"Hey! Watch where you're sticking that thing!" Came a very familiar whine from somewhere ahead, echoing Charlotte's own thoughts at the cold metal pressed painfully into her back. The redhead looked ahead of herself hopefully as she saw her teammate and the canon come into view.

Lennon was soaking wet, water dripping off her jeans, leaving foot shaped puddles with every step. Her glasses were missing as she stumbled foreword blindly, putting up as much resistance as one could when one had a shotgun pressing in-between one's shoulder blades. Her hair was in her eyes which was, no doubt, not helping matters.

McKay, who was dry and, as best as Charlotte could tell, unharmed, had one arm wrapped around Lennon's middle, keeping her steady.

"Move!" The Anti-Lennon spat impatiently, lifting one foot and planting it on Lennon's thigh, causing her to stumble and trip and hit the floor, "You've held me up enough as it is!"

Something inside Charlotte flared angrily as she watched Lennon struggle up from the ground, sneakers slipping in the puddle she had made. McKay didn't dare move as the Anti-Lennon stuck the barrel of the shotgun deeper into the flesh of his back.

"You're gonna pay for that," Charlotte heard her friend mutter angrily as McKay looked at Lennon anxiously.

"I highly doubt it, babe," Anti Lennon replied with a smirk and a shove, "You won't be around long enough to make me pay for anything."

Lennon fell foreword as her double pushed her violently, knocking into Charlotte and Dawn, who stumbled back and helped the geek right herself.

Dawn held tight onto Lennon's arm while the commander wrapped an arm around her subordinate's torso to help her stand steady and was treated to a loud, sharp intake of breath.

"Charlie, my ribs," Lennon whined breathlessly, causing the redhead to loosen her grip.

Now that Lennon was standing so close, Charlotte noted that the bandaging that she herself had dressed Lennon's head wounds with was conspicuously missing and that her lip was split open and bleeding like she'd been in a fight.

"What the hell did you do to her?" Dawn demanded suddenly, her voice strained with barely suppressed anger and coming out as a vicious whisper.

Dawn, while not a particularly violent person by nature, was a very protective one. She'd seen Lennon hurt before, but this was overkill. This was **beyond** overkill.

Anti Charlotte and her companion changed positions so that they were looking at their rivals head on, guns drawn up and ready to fire.

Charlotte and Dawn looked at their executioners, while Lennon stared ahead at the fuzzy shapes that she assumed were the, breathing hard and leaning foreword slightly under the strain of her physical injuries.

"Not yet!"

Charlotte and Dawn had to double their efforts in holding up Lennon as her knees tried to buckle.

The geek might not have been able to see clearly, but she knew Madison's voice when she heard it and the sound caused her heart to constrict inside her chest uncomfortably.

She straightened up and saw a mousy brown blur behind the red and black blurs standing across from her.

Dawn held onto Lennon as tightly as she dared as she watched the Anti-Madison place a hand on a shoulder of each of her companions.

Anti Madison leaned her head down slightly, looking as malicious as anyone had ever looked before, "We've got to get them to the den."

_----Another Twenty Minutes Later----_

"What happened?" Dawn asked in a carefully controlled whisper as she walked next to McKay. Their three captors were a good three feet behind them, making sure that they could watch every move the three busters dared to make.

"Whump Bunny out on the south pier," Lennon answered sourly, clutching her side as she walked unevenly, leaning on Charlotte slightly for support.

"You were bitten?"

Lennon had enough strength left in her to give the blonde an 'Are you stupid?' glare.

"If only we had some anti-whump solution," Charlotte said angrily, her voice coming out slightly less nasal than before as she helped the limping geek along, "You'd be good as new."

As the four rounded a corner, they stopped walking at the sight of Brittany Ashley-

"How many times must I remind you?" The Sue asked, glaring upwards.

"Well excuse me, Miss Priss," came an irritable voice from above, "It's been like three months since I wrote you, pardon me for being a little forgetful."

The Sue flipped her hand obnoxiously, "You're forgiven..._this_ time."

The halls of Atlantis shook violently for a moment with the author's wrath before things fell silent.

Where were we? Oh yes, our four heroes rounding the corner and spotting Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue posing in front of them regally.

"So, you're the ones who've been mucking up my plans left and right," the beautiful blonde said, her words coming out as sugar coated sweetness.

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue walked around the four, taking in the beanpole that was Dawn, the improperly proportioned Lennon and the tall athletic Charlotte, "You're a lot less," the queen Sue paused for effect, "_Attractive_ than I thought you'd be."

The Busters remain stoically silent as Ashley stopped in front of McKay and leaned towards him, bright blue eyes alight, "You're pretty cute though. You I think I might keep. I'll need a king, you know."

Charlotte felt Lennon start at this statement, but she was too weakened by the whump bunnies effects to really do anything about it.

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue stepped away from the four companions and commanded, "Tie them up, but bring McKay to me."

Both Dawn and Charlotte were yanked away from Lennon and their hands were bound up behind their backs.

Lennon, without the physical support of her two comrades, quickly lost her footing and dropped to her knees.

Anti-Madison grabbed Lennon by the hair and dragged her up off the ground, twisting one of her arms up behind her painfully as she tied her wrists together.

"Hold still," Madison hissed in Lennon's ear nastily as she yanked on her hands harder, making certain that she was tied up as tightly as possible.

Anti-Madison grabbed Lennon by the back of the neck, scratching her in the process, and shoved her roughly at her teammates.

Lennon let out a long string of Yiddish insults, mixed in with quite a bit of profanity that I shant repeat here for the benefit of our younger audience, all of it aimed in the general direction of the woman who was merely a brownish blur to her.

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue stepped towards the rather twitchy McKay, and placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling at him in that sweet, kneecap melting way that only Sues can. He gulped under her scrutiny as she ushered him away, calling back over her shoulder to the antis.

"Put them in the den," she said, her voice a mixture of sweetness and spite.

"Don't you want to watch? Make sure it goes through as planned?" Anti-Lennon asked.

"Oh, don't be barbaric!" Ashley exclaimed, linking her arm in McKay's as best she could with his hands bound behind his back, "Just shove them inside. Things will take care of themselves."

As Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue walked away with her prize in tow, the three Antis looked at each other and shrugged.

Anti-Madison hit a panel at the side of the door that the queen Sue had been posing near before and a rush of foggy atmosphere flooded the hallway, thick like smoke but seeming to distort the surrounding area, bending perception and pulling at the fringes of reality.

The three antis stepped up behind the three Busters and gave them an enormous shove foreword, pushing them into the room fully.

As the door slipped shut behind them, the Busters turned to look upon what they were facing.

Three hundred sets of beetle black, shiny, beady eyes were waiting to greet the three heroes, all of them belonging to little brown amnesia bunnies of every size and shape.

The three glanced at each other (well, Lennon glanced as best she could, being half blind and all) and then back at the assembled plot bunny population.

"Shit."

-------------

A/N: Everything that happened to Lennon and McKay after they took Teyla away shall be revealed in time, I promise. It's just not important _right_ this second, but it will be pretty soon.

Half of me is happy, the other half of me is sad. On the one hand, I have internet again which means I can update way more often AND reply to every PM & review I get from now on, and the other half of me is sad because this story will be ending soon. I'm gonna miss my thirty reviews a day -pout-. Well, I guess you'll all have to take up reading my other stories and stroke my ego by reviewing those, yes? XD Once this story is over, the Busters will live on in the story 'From The Files Of The Plot Bunny Busters' (which is currently in progress, in case you didn't already know :P) and there _might_ be a sequel, because I'm finding that there are things that I just can't work into the storyline that's going right now. If you're interested in what's in the pipeline, have a looksie at my profile. I just updated it with new storyline info. Woot.

Anyway! I'm gonna reply to everything from now on, so show me the love :D


	56. Wait A Minute, What?

McKay, in all his life, had never seen so much pink.

He used to actually _like_ pink, but now that he found himself surrounded by _so_ much of it, he was beginning to find it rather repulsive.

The second he breeched the inner-sanctum of the Sue's headquarters, he found himself to be slightly dizzy from the huge amounts of that disgustingly sweet perfume that hung in the air and invaded his lungs.

It was starting to make him nauseous, and the Queen Sue who was positively coated in the stuff clinging to his arm wasn't helping in the least.

Her perfectly manicured fingers scraped their way up his arm as she looked at him adoringly, batting her baby blue eyes at him flirtatiously, with an impish smile upon her lips.

"You know, I didn't believe that there was a canon here on Atlantis meant for me," Ashley said, looking up at McKay through lowered lashes, "But then I saw _you_ and I just **knew** we were meant to be together."

If at all possible, the nausea in McKay's gut tripled at hearing this statement.

"Oh, darling!" Ashley cooed suddenly, "You don't look well at _all_!" She stopped walking and turned him around so that they were facing each other.

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue pouted attractively (although, for _some_ reason, it had no effect on McKay) as she reached up and patted Rodney's cheek lovingly.

"Come along, Rodney, once you sit down you'll feel ever so much better." And with that, she grabbed Rodney's hand possessively (as best she could, since it was still tied up) and tugged him towards her throne.

The three Anti Busters, who had been following behind the Queen Sue at a safe distance, watched the exchange between the two with mild amusement. After all, watching the canon squirm under the attentions of the Sue was absolutely hilarious.

As Ashle Brittany Jennifer Sue reached her throne, she suddenly stopped, glanced from Rodney to the pink fluffy seat and back again.

"Oh this will _never_ do," she exclaimed unhappily as she looked at Rodney.

For a split second, McKay was hopeful that she had changed her mind about him being perfect for her.

"You clash with the decor!"

The astrophysicist blinked a few times, "I _what_?"

"You don't match!" The Sue exclaimed, as though this was a perfectly normal turn in conversation, much less a _sane_ one.

"So I guess this means you have to get rid of me, right?" McKay asked, sounding a little more pleased at this idea than Ashley thought he should.

Well, she'd just have to work a little harder on gaining his affections, that's all there is to that.

"No, Rodney, I'm not going to give you up," she replied in a sing song voice, "You've just got to be cleaned up and put into something more...suitable."

First Lennon was insulting his clothes and now the Sue...you'd think he was the worst dressed man in the Pegasus galaxy or something.

"You there," Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue said, pointing at Anti-Lennon, "Take him and get him cleaned up."

Anti Lennon looked from McKay to the Sue and back again, "Me? Why don't you get one of your loyal subjects to do it for you?"

Ashley looked around the room at the beautiful population of Sues, who were all looking at Rodney like he was a slab of meat, "I don't trust them."

"Yeah, well, I'm not your errand girl," Anti-Lennon said nastily.

Her highness turned to look at Anti-Charlotte, who shook her head in the negative, "Sorry, _your Majesty_, I'm an Anti Busters commander. Bathing and dressing Canons is totally beneath me." The redhead turned to look at Anti-Madison, "You do it."

Anti-Madison glared at her commanding officer momentarily before she stalked over to McKay and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him after herself and out the door to the Sue's headquarters.

"Make sure to put him in a nice, flattering color!" Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue called after them sweetly as Anti-Madison dragged McKay down the hallway.

After the two had traveled down the corridor quite a ways, Anti-Madison stopped walking and turned to McKay. While he did _not_ look pleased at the prospect of being put in pastels, he looked even _less_ thrilled when Anti-Madison whipped out a switchblade and flicked it open.

"Hey now, hold on a second!" He took a step back away from her as she lunged at him.

"Shut up!" she hissed, as she brought the knife up and in one fluid motion...

Cut his hands free?

What the hell?

-----------------

A/N: And so the plot thickens...muahahahaha! This turn of events came to me last night while writing the last chapter. It serves as a perfect opportunity to use a little side plot that I've had brewing in the back of my brain for quite some time (Nenya dear you know what I'm talkin' about...I think) so I'm thrilled I'll get to work it in. -squee- Ok, I'm off to work on the next chapter to "Retribution: Revisited" so, catch ya on the flip side, kiddies!


	57. Mister Sandman

Oh my God. Have you seen this ad for this new movie called 'Stranger Than Fiction'? OMG! It's like...Gah! It's like this story...characters interacting with the author, hearing the voice over etc. Am I reading a certain Hollywood author's mind or are they invading mine? -paranoia- Well, now I'm going to have to shell out the money to go see it. I bet it'll be hilarious, Will Farrell being cast in it not withstanding XP

You know, some day I'm going to have to go back and delete all these stupid author's notes, most of them are just a waste of space and proof of my insanity.

------------

"We don't have any explosives or guns...not so much as a toothpick," Dawn said nervously as she stared at the rapidly advancing bunny horde coming out of the gloom caused by the amnesia vapor, "Alright, so, what do we do?"

"I don't suppose either of you are feeling musical, are you?" Charlotte asked with a cough.

"What are you talking about?" Dawn asked, confusion clear on her face and in her voice as she watched the rabbits still coming towards them.

"Amnesia bunnies are susceptible to music," Charlotte explained, all the words coming out in a rush, "They fall asleep when sung to."

The still blind as a bat Lennon turned to look at the reddish blur to her left that she correctly assumed was her commanding officer, "I don't think anything in _my_ repertoire is going to soothe the savage beasts."

The aforementioned 'savage beasts' let out a collective growl and the three took an instinctive step backwards away from the bunnies, nervously glancing about.

"Mister Sandman," Lennon squeaked suddenly, her voice coming out high pitched in comparison to the low rumbling growls currently erupting from the chest of the evil plot bunnies.

Charlotte looked at Lennon, gaping, "What?"

"It's the only non-punk song that I know _all_ the words to," the geek said, stepping back again, tripping over her untied shoelaces slightly.

Dawn, looking rather like a blue eyed deer caught in someone's headlights, launched into the opening bars of the song which were comprised of the word 'Bum', repeated over and over again all up and down the musical scale.

Several of the brown bunnies stopped their advance and tipped their heads to one side, staring at the three odd creatures within their domain with interest and curiosity replacing the malice.

"Mister Sandman, bring me a dream," Charlotte and Lennon began, terribly out of tune. Their voices, Charlotte's slightly too high and Lennon's slightly too low, clashed.

The bunnies were less than impressed and began their advance once again, shining eyes trained on the singers.

The two elder Busters glanced at each other and made an effort to get into some kind of harmony, succeeding with effort that would have made David St. Hubbins and Nigel Tufnel proud.

"Make him the cutest that I've ever seen."

Dawn, still continuing to lay down the musical base line, glanced at the bunnies, who had once again paused to listen to Charlotte and Lennon.

"Give him two lips like roses and clovers," Lennon's voice cracked momentarily and a few bunnies hopped a step foreword. She recovered as quickly as someone whose life was about to be snuffed out by angry amnesia bunnies should and sang louder, "And tell him that his lonesome nights are over."

A few dozen brown heads rose above the others among the horde, as several little bunnies took to standing on their haunches to listen better.

"Mister Sandman, I'm so alone," Charlotte gulped as a few of the bunnies started to sway from side to side, not minding that her nose was still rather stuffed up, "Ain't got nobody to call my own."

Dawn's throat was growing tired with the constant 'bum bum bum'-ing, so she dropped that and joined in with Charlotte and Lennon, surprised at how good the three of them sounded together.

"Please turn on your magic beam," the three sang in only slightly flawed harmony, "Mister Sandman bring me a dream."

A few of the bunnies blinked slowly, looking blissfully lethargic before they fell over with several small muted thumps. The air was beginning to clear somewhat of the amnesia den vapor, each of the unconscious bunnies no longer adding to the collective power of the reality bending fog.

"Mister Sandman, bring us a dream, give him a pair of eyes with a come hither gleam."

A couple of bunnies near the front of the group swayed sleepily.

"Give him a lonely heart like Pagliacci, and lots of wavy hair like Liberace."

About a dozen of the brown furry beasts dropped to the ground, eyes glazed over, ears still twitching to the sounds of the three Busters, whose voices were getting stronger and more in tune with every passing second.

"Mister Sandman, bring us a dream."

Dawn and Lennon sang the 'bum bum bum' here, and a bunch of little brown balls of fluff sighed dreamily.

"Make him the cutest that I've ever seen," Lennon took a deep breath and found that her ribs were hurting quite a bit less now than they were shortly before, "Give him the word, that I'm not a rover, then tell him that his lonesome nights are over."

Their voices were tainted with barely suppressed hysterical laughter as they sang and watched at least ten rabbits halfway across the room wobble drunkenly and land on their backs, fast asleep.

"Mister Sandman, someone to hold, would be so peachy before we're too old."

Several more of the bunnies blinked and wobbled on their feet, some of them stumbling foreword slightly, as though intoxicated before they dropped over like so many before them. The ones in front that fell caused a domino effect and soon they were crashing down on the floor in wave after wave of chocolate colored fluff.

Dawn, Charlotte and Lennon were wearing genuine smiles now, not just the forced show business types, "So please turn on your magic beam, Mister Sandman bring us-"

Lennon broke out loudly, "Yes, please, please bring us-"

The last of the bunnies fell, "Mister Sandman bring us a dream!"

Several of the little brown creatures twitched in their sleep as even more of the fog lifted, leaving three very relieved Busters standing amongst the slumbering bunnies blanketing the floor like a great fur rug.

"I think I'm gonna faint," Lennon gasped, a mixture of relief and adrenaline flooding her body as she sank down against the wall.

"No time for that now," Charlotte said, dragging Lennon up off the ground, "We've got to go get our gear, clear this room and then find McKay."

Lennon's eyes flashed at the thought of the Sue dragging Rodney away with her, intending to make him her concubine and she got to her feet, "Right. Let's go bust some heads."

-----------

A/N: NenyaVilyaNenya is cheerfully blamed for the whole 'Amnesia Bunnies pass out when sung to' angle. Originally, there was going to be a huge to-do with Joe the king 'o the Amnesia Bunnies, but alas, after much reworking and rewriting, I found that I couldn't make that happen. I'm rather bummed about that. -grumble- but who knows, maybe I'll get it in there eventually anyway, right? -shrug-

Bonus points if you know who David St. Hubbins and Nigel Tufnel are. Although, I _highly_ doubt anyone will know it right off the top of their head.


	58. Brainiac Circa Nineteen Fifty Five

_--Meanwhile--_

Anti Madison flipped the switchblade closed once more and tucked it into her boot.

McKay was still gaping at her when she stood back up and grabbed him by the wrist.

"Come on, we've got to get you to Lenny and Charlotte." She started pulling at him, "Come on!"

"Wait just one minute here!" McKay protested, being tugged along, "Why should I trust you? You're one of those Anti things!"

"No I'm not," Anti Madison said, picking up the pace a bit.

"Well you're sure as hell not the _real_ Madison. I heard the redhead say that Madison was _dead_." McKay yanked his arm out of Anti Madison's grasp and stopped walking, staring at her, "Now I'm not moving another _step_ until you explain what the hell is going on!"

Anti Madison rounded on him, drawing her gun and pointing it squarely at his forehead, "I disagree."

McKay paled considerably and started to stutter.

The brunette let out a little huff and dropped the gun, "Who am I kidding, I can't shoot you."

She glanced around herself anxiously, making certain that there was no one around to overhear what she was about to reveal.

"Charlotte was right. I _am_ dead. Sorta."

McKay scoffed, "How can you be 'sorta' dead?"

All her words came out in a rush, running together in a Shatner-ish way. "There was this experimental project launched a few weeks before my...death. I volunteered...against Charlotte and Lennon's advice." She grimaced, "They didn't even know I did it."

He narrowed his eyes at her, "What sort of experimental project?"

"Cloning and conciousness storing," Madison tapped her forehead, "They scanned my brain and put me on file so that if I was ever killed in the field, they could resurrect me by putting my conciousness into a cloned body."

"Very DC," McKay said thoughtfully, "Brainiac circa nineteen fifty five, I believe."

The comic book reference didn't go over Madison's head. Well, she _had_ been Lennon's teammate for five years, after that much time, you tended to pick things up like that, whether you wanted to or not.

"Yeah actually. That is a pretty accurate comparison." Madison looked at him, "But I'm not really here to rehash my history with you. I'm not exactly supposed to be here." She chewed on her bottom lip, "If anyone finds out that I interferred, I'm going to be in _major_ trouble. So we're on a schedule."

"What are you doing here then and why-"

"Again, McKay, tight schedule. Just shut up and listen to me, alright?"

McKay shut his mouth, simply because if he hadn't, we might have been stuck here all day answering his numerous questions about this, that and the other.

"When the three Antis split up to go grab you and the girls, I knocked out my evil counterpart, shoved her in a closet and took her place. I figured that way I'd be in a position to help you." Madison searched his face for understanding.

"You've been on Atlantis all this time?" He asked, staring at her eith eyes wide as saucers.

"McKay, I don't have time for this!" She exclaimed, grabbing his hand again and tugging him down the hallway, "I have to get you back to the girls and then I gotta split before they see me!"

"Why?" He asked, not even bothering to resist, "They'd be thrilled to know you're still alive!"

"That's just it, no one is _supposed_ to know! If anyone finds out I left the lab they'll put me back in stasis to keep it quiet." She glanced over her shoulder at him, "I was brought back after the project was scrapped by the higher ups. By all rights, I shouldn't be alive and the agency heads won't look too kindly on a whole clone slipping under the radar."

The two rounded a corner and Madison stopped dead in her tracks before backpeddaling rapidly back the way she came.

"They got out of the den," she said in a rushed whisper as she reached into her pocket and retrieved a small slip of folded paper, "Now look, when they ask you how you got away, tell them you whalloped Anti Madison on the head from behind and stuck her in a closet." Madison pointed down the hallway to the left, "She's in one of those. I want you," The mousy brunette forced McKay's palm open and deposited the slip of paper, "To read this."

McKay made to open the folded paper and Madison slapped his hand,"Not until after the restoration! Understand? It's life or death!"

"Alright, I got it!" He snapped, shoving the paper in his pocket.

Madison glanced back around the corner and McKay saw the stricken look on her face, like her heart was breaking.

"Alright, they're coming." She turned back to look at him, "I have to go."

He nodded curtly and she squeezed his shoulder, "Good luck."

"Thanks and-Ooow!" Madison tightened her grip a bit more than was strictly neccesarry.

"If anything happens to them, McKay, let me be the first to tell you that Sues, Bunnies and Antis are gonna be the least of your problems, comprende?"

She released him after he nodded and retrieved a silver badge from her pocket, giving it a tap.

In a shimmering flash of light, she was gone.

McKay stared at the place where she had been standing for a few seconds before he heard the approaching Bunny Busters, heading down the hallway towards him.

"So help me God, Charlotte, if that pepto bismol coated bitch laid one finger on him, I'm gonna rip her open from nose to navel. Clean up be damned."

-----------------------------

A/N: Yes! That's right! I couldn't leave Madison dead! Gah.

Wow. I have nothing else to say. What do you know, an author's note that's _short_ from me.

-hears ice crackling-

Sounds like hell just froze over.


	59. Busted!

_A few minutes earlier..._

Charlotte's Spidey sense was tingling.

Well, not _literally_ of course. That radioactive spider bite she received all those years ago had been treated in time to avoid nasty side effects like webbing suddenly springing from strange new orifices, but in the broadest, non literal sense, her Spidey sense was tingling.

You can call it women's intuition, if you like, but Charlotte much preferred to call it 'Spidey sense'.

Either way, and regardless of what you call it, it was tingling, causing internal alarms to ring loudly and throw up red flags all over the place. The source of her sudden unrest was Lennon's strange behavior of the last twenty minutes or so.

While Lennon Fisk was never a normal woman, and her behavior nowhere near common, she was taking weirdness to a whole 'nother level.

After the three Bunny Busters reached their destination, namely the storage room in which they had spent the night, Charlotte watched as Lennon proceeded to mutter angrily while simultaneously arming herself to the teeth. Furthermore, Lennon seemed to take unprecedented glee in blowing the amnesia bunny den sky high.

Well, not so much blowing it sky high as filling the room with the new Anti Bunny fog that spewed forth from the Anti Bunny charges that caused all the little slumbering beasts to implode, leaving little glops of bunny bits all over the floor as the only evidence that they had been there in the first place.

Now the three Busters were preparing to go up against their numerous nemesises-

Wait a second...nemesises? Nemesisi? Nemeses?

Screw it, I'll just go with enemies.

Now the three Busters were preparing to go up against their numerous enemies, and Charlotte couldn't help but notice the furor with which Lennon was getting ready. Her eyes were wild as she tucked a small block of plastic explosive into her pocket and set a new clip in place on her nine millimeter.

Charlotte herself had just retrieved a fresh cigar from her pack and lit up, taking a long, deep breath and letting the smoke out slowly in a series of rings.

Dawn, meanwhile, was tightening the straps on her heavy knapsack, after strapping half a dozen grenades to her belt, ready and waiting should she need them.

The Commander felt her heart go out to the young stringy haired blonde. She'd never been party to an epic climax battle before, and while she was handling it rather well, she still looked a bit shaky.

"Those things will kill you, you know," Dawn said, looking at Charlotte with worry, her own anxiety manifesting itself as concern for her teammate.

"Not if the Sue kills me first," Charlotte replied, taking another drag while reloading her own nine millimeter.

Dawn went ashen, "You don't think we're going to _lose_, do you, Charlotte?"

"We'll be _fine_, Dawn," Lennon snapped angrily, "Can we go already?"

Charlotte's eyes narrowed, "What's the matter with you, Lenny?"

"Excuse me? What _are_ you on about, Charlotte?"

"You just seem to be a bit..." Charlotte gestured with her hands, physically portraying her search for the right words, "A bit...shall we say, edgy?"

Lennon scoffed and her upper lip curled into an ugly sneer, "Yeah well, excuse me for being eager about protecting my ship."

Lennon's eyes went wide as she realized just what she had said.

"The canon!" The geek amended desperately, eyes wild as she watched Charlotte's expression turn from mildly concerned to thunderous in seconds flat, "I meant the canon!"

But she couldn't unring the bell. Even though she called a time-out and begged the author to go back and undo the damage, alas, there just was no going back.

The redhead took a deep breath and her expression turned stony, "Lennon, may I speak to you out in the hallway for a moment please?"

Charlotte watched as Lennon's throat bobbed slightly when she swallowed thickly, eyes wide with the closest thing to terror as Charlotte had ever seen in the geek.

The Busters Commander jerked her head at Dawn, "Stay here. And you," she pegged a finger at Lennon, her eyes narrowed to two small, angry green slits, "Follow me."

With that she stalked out into the hallway.

Lennon stood still, frozen in place.

"**NOW, LENNON.**"

The black haired woman winced at the harshness that was so apparent in her CO's voice.

She was going to get her ass handed to her, she was sure of it.

Lennon squeezed her hands into fists and held her arms stiff at her sides, steeling her nerves before she walked out in the hallway with all the determination of someone being forced to walk the plank. Dawn watched her go, sympathy in her gaze.

When Lennon walked out into the corridor, she found Charlotte turned away from her, bracing herself against the opposite wall with one hand, the other holding the cigar that she was smoking at such speed that there was a large cloud gathering around her head.

Lennon stood there for a moment, wondering how she had gone from so angry to so scared so very quickly.

She waited at least sixty seconds before the anxiety got to her and she spoke up, "Charlie, are we gonna talk or what? My time is valuable, you know I'm a woman of few words-"

"Well, I'm a woman of _one_ word! You _idiot_!" Charlotte turned so quickly it made the geek's head spin and she slapped Lennon on the back of the head. _Hard_.

"OW!" Lennon rubbed her skull, "That was two words and _totally_ uncalled for!"

"Really? I rather thought I went easy on you, considering the situation!" Charlotte all but shouted.

"Charlotte, calm down!"

"Calm down? CALM DOWN? You're supposed to report this kind of thing!" Charlotte glared at Lennon so harshly that the geek had to fight the urge to take a step back, "Why didn't you _tell_ me?"

"Oh come on, Charlie! I _did_ tell you!"

"I think I would remember something like _this_."

"Well, we were both kinda drunk at the time." Lennon said evasively, "That might have something to do with the fact that you don't remember."

Charlotte stared off into space for a moment, remembering, "Madge's wake."

Lennon shifted her jaw and nodded.

"I can't _believe_ you didn't report it once we got out of the fandom! I reported mine!"

"I couldn't Charlotte! This was four years ago. You remember who was in the syndicate's office back then? You remember what was going on? They were cracking down on Busters Interverse Ships! I had already been in front of the disciplinary committee for my thing with Langly, they could have forced me into retirement for this! So I wiped his memory and moved on before I-" Lennon's mouth stopped running as her brain caught up with what her superior had just admitted. "Wait a second...your..._you_ were shipped?

Charlotte slapped her hands over her face, cursing herself for letting that slip.

"You reported it, but you didn't tell _me_?" Lennon looked at Charlotte with new eyes, "Kinda the pot calling the kettle black, ain't it?"

Charlotte looked at Lennon, a slight apology evident in her expression and tone of voice, "I didn't think you needed to know."

"I told you, but didn't tell the agency, and you told the agency, but not me," Lennon leaned against the wall and slid down it, landing on the floor with a plop, "What does this say about our relationship?"

Charlotte sighed and sat down next to Lennon on the floor, bringing her knees up to her chest, "That we don't trust each other as much as we think we do."

Lennon put her head in her hands and silence reigned in the hallway for several minutes.

"I'm worried, Charlotte. You know what'll happen once the restoration is completed."

Charlotte stared straight ahead, thinking harder than she had in a long time. When she saw from the corner of her eyes that Lennon's shoulders were shaking, she turned to look at her friend and comrade.

She had never seen Lennon cry but twice before, and even then, it wasn't shoulder shaking sobs, it was just a few tears.

Plus, both those times were at funerals.

Seeing it _now_ unsettled her. Charlotte had known Lennon for a long time, and she was one of the strongest people she'd ever had the pleasure of working with and to see her crying now was something completely alien.

After several seconds, she made up her mind about what to do, and wrapped one arm around Lennon's convulsing shoulders. "It'll be alright, Lenny. Don't cry."

Lennon snorted and looked up at her superior, "Crying? Who's crying?"

To Charlotte's surprise, there were no trails of tears on her teammate's face. Instead, she was grinning and her dark eyes were filled with humor.

She was...

Laughing?

Yes. Laughing like a hyena.

Alright. That was it. Lennon had finally cracked under the pressure. She'd lost it for sure this time.

The Busters CO looked at her subordinate worriedly, "Are you alright, Len?"

"Oh yeah..I'm _fine_." Lennon scrubbed her hands over her face, still chuckling.

She gestured around herself distractedly, "The ridiculousness of this whole thing has finally hit me." She started laughing afresh, "Can you believe it? I mean...me and _McKay_. Of all people, I got stuck with _him_."

Charlotte thought about the two of them together, and snorted.

The snort quickly turned into a full blown fit of the giggles.

Which, in turn, morphed into several minutes of hearty laughter between the two.

Charlotte was laughing so hard, she was leaning on the geek for support, "Oh-Oh Lenny, can you imagine? Can you imagine what your children would be like?"

"OH GOD! No!" Lennon exclaimed in horror, shoving Charlotte in the shoulder, "Don't even kid about something like that!"

"Oh come on! I can see it now," Charlotte spread her arms wide in front of herself, as though indicating the far off future, "You'll have a six pack of kids, three boys and three girls and each one more snarky, sarcastic and insulting than the last!"

"And my kids can have play dates with _your_ kids." The geek collapsed in a fit of laughter, "Can you see it? Little Walker-Lornes and Fisk-McKays running around together! They'd blow the neighborhood sky high!"

"How did you know it was Lorne?" Charlotte stopped laughing and sobered suddenly, "I thought you said I didn't tell you about that."

Lennon continued to chuckle, "You didn't."

"Then how-"

Lennon smirked, "Oh come on, Charlie. You don't really think there's anything you can keep from _me_, do you?" She poked Charlotte in the side good naturedly, "Besides, I saw the look on your face when we came across him and Ford together. It wasn't like it was hard to figure out."

Charlotte rolled her eyes, "Yeah...let's not dwell on that. I'd really rather not think about it too much."

"Well, you handled it better than I would have." Lennon said truthfully, thinking about what she might have done if she'd found McKay with another man.

She shuddered involuntarily at the idea.

Charlotte picked at a piece of lint on her pants, "Yeah well, it was a smut bunny. You know how those work. More intense onset effects and less pronounced over time. The ship feelings are actually pretty much gone for me."

Charlotte tilted her head so that she could look at her comrade from the corner of her eye, "How about you?"

Lennon remained silent.

"Lenny..."

"What?" Lennon asked, looking as innocent as she possibly could.

"Do you still have feelings for him?"

Lennon squeezed her eyes shut but still didn't say anything.

"Oh God, you _do_, don't you?"

"I've been fighting it," Lennon said quietly, her eyebrows knit together in a most unattractive manner. "But after my last little bit of alone time with him..." She trailed off, leaving the sentence hanging unfinished, not only for dramatic effect, but because Techie couldn't think of a good way to end it properly.

Charlotte popped her jaw and stubbed out her cigar on the floor before she got up off the floor and yanked Lennon up after her, "C'mon...we'll go kill the queen Sue...that's bound to make you feel better."

Lennon looked at the redhead, eyes shining, "You mean it?"

Charlotte couldn't help but grin at the look of homicidal mischief that crossed her friend's face, "Yes, I'll let you blow her to kingdom come, I promise. Come on."

----------------

A/N:OH GOD! What a relief to have that over and done with! The ending of this chapter has been sitting in my WPBA folder for over two months, just _waiting_ for a time when I would be able to use it...man it's nice to finally have it out of the way. -falls backwards in chair and lets out a relieved huff-

The whole 'nemesis' thing is just a jab at all those people who just totally ignore the rules of English (granted, I'm not exactly the poster child for perfect spelling and grammar, but at least I _try_). If I read one more idiot's work where one character hands another "A single dice" I think I'll scream. Oh trust me, they're out there, and every time I see that I have to muffle my screams with my Batman throw pillow.

Yes, I do own a Batman throw pillow…it's in the shape of his head.

Shut up. I am **not** a geek. -deludes self-

Next chapter: The girls reunite with McKay...and...uh...other stuff happens. I don't know what yet.

Oh please, like you actually expect me to have a plan in place or something...


	60. Whumpage

Guess what? I've lost the usage of my mouse. That's right. It's just stopped working completely. Replaced it and everything...still nothing. So since it takes bloody well _forever_ to answer reviews and such without the aid of a mouse (you unplug yours and see how far you get, I dare you), I'll just let you know that while I'm not replying to anything, I am reading every single review I get and they all make me squee happily.

If you want to talk to me, I suggest dropping by my live journal (my user name is bitemetechie), since I've been using that as a forum for fic thoughts and the like lately. You'll get through to me a lot faster by commenting on my lj posts than you will with e-mail or PMs (something is wrong with my mail service lately...stupid beta version of Yahoo! takes forever to slog through my messages), plus you can keep up with...well, whatever I happen to be thinking whenever I update my journal. I warn you though...I'm really, really random. Funny, but _random_.

I have exactly ten chapters to go as of this one before the end cometh and the sequel commenceth. Half bummed, half excited. Mostly bummed. Don't want it to end, 'cause starting the sequel is gonna be rough.

Also, I just got a PM about a new response to the Meeting Of Minds challenge, so I have _that_ to look foreword to. -grins stupidly-

What can I say? I'm a whore for fanfic of my fanfic XD

----

Dawn Perry, who was by and large the most under utilized character in this story thus far, was left alone in the storage room, ear pressed to the door, trying to ascertain just what was going on between her two comrades who were conferring in the hallway outside.

So far, she had figured out that both of them had been subjected to Ship Bunny infections and as a result, had been a party to Interverse ships with major canons (which were, needless to say, strictly forbidden by agency policy).

The blonde felt a slight twinge in her chest at the thought of what agency policy required her to do.

Report her teammates for their indiscretions.

She let out a little angry huff and clenched her teeth. She was a newb, certainly, but she was fully aware of what she was supposed to do in such situations.

The only problem was she just could **not** bring herself to think about actually _doing_ it.

Dawn worried her bottom lip between her teeth, trying to picture herself walking into the disciplinary committee office and filling out one of those huge incident reports that stretched thirty pages with the information she was currently gathering.

Her stomach rolled uncomfortably at the very idea of betraying her team. Granted, she'd only been with them six months, but she still counted them among her friends. They all ate lunch together, occasionally played poker together...but more importantly, they had saved her life on numerous occasions.

Dawn heard hearty laughter, the sound snapping her out of her internal struggle about what to do. It was Lennon, laughing like she didn't have a care in the world. Moments later, Charlotte's more gruff guffaws mingled with those of the geek and Dawn found herself smiling involuntarily at the sound of it. It was all too rare to hear the two elder Busters sharing a hearty laugh and the blonde couldn't help but feel her spirits lift slightly.

She made up her mind then. She wouldn't tell her superiors at the APBA. How could she?

Besides, Lennon and Charlotte were two of the most effective agents in the history of the Anti Plot Bunny Agency. What did it matter if they broke a few rules now and then, so long as they got the job done?

This course of action only presented one tiny problem. If the higher ups at the APBA ever asked Dawn specifically about what had happened, she couldn't lie.

It's not that she wouldn't _try_, there was just something inside the young blonde that seemed to keep her from lying successfully under any circumstances, regardless of how dire the situation was. Her dismal attempt at lying to Bimbo!Weir was proof of that.

Dawn tangled a hand in her hair, leaned her forehead against the door and thought hard about what she could possibly do to rectify this situation.

The door jabbed inwards suddenly, the edge of it knocking Dawn squarely between the eyes and she staggered back, blinking and rubbing her forehead.

In true fiction cliché fashion, Dawn was suddenly afflicted with head trauma induced limited amnesia which wiped out all knowledge of the past three minutes or so.

Why this happened was unclear to everyone except for the author, who figured that it was just too cruel to force Dawn into using a Men In Black flashy thing on herself and that head trauma induced limited amnesia was the next best thing.

The blonde straightened up, only slightly disoriented.

She recovered quickly, however, when she saw Lennon swoop in and grab up her huge pack, slinging it over her shoulder. Charlotte followed suit, but not before she retrieved a fresh cigar and lit it up.

Charlotte looked at the slightly dazed blonde with concern, "You alright there, Dawn?"

Dawn nodded and leaned down to pick up her pack, wobbling a bit as she did so, "I'm alright...just took a little knock on the noggin', that's all."

Lennon mouthed the word 'Noggin'?' to her superior, who replied with a small shrug as she chewed on her trademark cigar.

The geek tightened the straps on her pack and hitched them a ways higher up before letting out a little grunt that morphed into a whine.

"Owww." The raven haired woman shifted the majority of her pack's weight to her left shoulder and rubbed her right one, "Damned whump bunny. I swear, Charlie, the second we get home, I'm going to spend a week in my tub, just soaking and spending some quality time with my whirlpool."

Charlotte looked at Lennon questioningly, "Lenny...didn't you take the anti-whump solution?"

Lennon's shoulders sank and her eyes went flat and dull as she shifted her jaw. "No...no I didn't."

She slipped out of her pack and dropped it on the ground, "Why you ask? Because actually injecting myself with anti-whump solution would be an intelligent course of action, which is something I lack the ability to accomplish as of late."

Charlotte and Dawn looked at each other before they looked back at their fellow Bunny Buster with amusement.

Lennon rummaged around for several minutes before she found the little bottle of orange liquid labeled 'Anti Whumpage'. Another minute and she found a new syringe, which she liberated from it's sterile packaging and tried to insert the needle into the vial properly.

Considering the fact that our beloved anti-hero was currently without her glasses, it was an amusing display indeed. She would poke at the top of the vial, trying to line up the needle to the hole, each time just winding up making the glass and metal collide with a clink noise.

Poke. Clink. Poke. Clink. Poke. Clink.

She went on like that for close to thirty seconds before she got really frustrated, "Help out a blind woman, would you, Charlotte?"

The redhead, who knew not to offer her help unless it was asked for, knelt down next to her subordinate and gently pried the two items from her hands. As she filled the syringe with the proper dosage, Lennon rolled up her sleeve to the shoulder and allowed herself to be injected.

"How did you manage to meet up with a whump bunny anyway, Lenny?" Dawn asked, pushing plot with her flashback inducing statement.

Lennon winced as the needle pierced her flesh and the orange stuff was forced into her blood stream, "It's a long story, actually, Dawn..."

Lennon quickly recounted what had happened when she and Rodney had carried Teyla off to shove her in a closet. How after doing so, the two of them had heard a bunch of squawking followed by loud, angry sounding squeaks, which they found to be the result of a whump bunny nest being tortured by the resident sea birds of Atlantis.

You see, in order for a whump bunny to _be_ an whump bunny, they have to be whumped. This particular group was whumped by a group of waddling alien pelicans and sea gulls who chased them around the balcony where their nest was situated, picking them up by the scruffs of their necks, gnawing on them for a few moments, before dropping them once again. It was almost enough to make you feel sorry for the bunnies.

Almost, but not quite.

Any sort of Plot Bunny can be changed into a Whump Bunny if they're subjected to enough torture, the same way any kind of character can quickly be turned into an overwhumped character by an overzealous author who enjoys putting a character through a great deal of emotional and physical troubles.

The more whumped a Whump Bunny is, the more potent it's venom is, which they can then inject into an unsuspecting character by biting them and cause an instantaneous change of luck for the worse.

Which is exactly what had happened to Lennon. One of the Whump Bunnies, after being dropped on it's belly by a bright green pelican for what seemed like the hundredth time, landed somewhere close enough to Lennon's ankle and decided, on a lark, to latch on with it's sharp little teeth.

What followed, was one of the more...shall we say, _interesting_ action scenes in this story thus far.

The group of sea birds suddenly turned their attentions from the small fluffy creatures and onto the large, scruffy, glasses wearing one and swept down on her.

Flailing her arms and trying to keep the beasts at bay only resulted in Lennon losing her balance, tripping over one of the bunnies and sailing headlong over the edge of the balcony and into the waiting water below where she came incredibly close to drowning, thanks to a giant alien octopus/whale hybrid who wrapped a crushing tentacle around her ribcage and tried to drag her down, breaking two ribs in the process.

The octopus/whale was bright blue, had the massive head of a killer whale, complete with sharp, needle like teeth, and a set of eight huge beetle black eyes that matched it's eight huge, shiny, beetle black tentacles.

The bright blue octopus/whale (which, from here on out would be referred to as the Octophale in Lennon's head) twisted in the raging water as it flung the geek about, yanking her in and out of the water repeatedly as she struggled against it's impossibly strong tentacles that had found a way to wrap around not only her torso, but around each of her legs and throat as well.

Lennon barely had enough time to take a breath in before she was yanked under the water once again, this time actually getting to come face to face with her attacker under water. Of course, by this time, her glasses were long gone, and it was rather blurry looking, but she got the general idea of what had ahold of her.

She survived only because the giant Octophale decided to try and swallow her, found he didn't like the way she tasted in the least, and then hurled her (literally and figuratively) back up onto the balcony a few feet above the surface of the sea, where she lay for several minutes, bleeding, coughing and sputtering before she was so kindly instructed by her evil double to get to her feet and get moving.

And the rest, as they say, and as I'm sure you're well aware, is history.

During her retelling of events, Lennon started to feel immensely better, due in no small part to the Anti Whumpage solution which was now pumping through her veins, undoing all the damage that the Whump Bunny venom had inflicted. Her ribs were knitting themselves back together and her split lip had healed completely within a matter of minutes.

"Wow," Dawn breathed after listening to Lennon's account, "I hope I never meet a Whump Bunny as long as I live. Being bitten by one sounds like it hurts..."

"The bite was nothing...the giant Octophale, now _that_ was hell." Lennon rolled down her sleeve and got to her feet gingerly, sucking air through her teeth as she did so. After all, the Anti Whumpage solution only undid the damage that was caused by the Plot Bunny's bite, all of the other injuries she had recently sustained hurt just as much now as they did before.

"Ya alright there, geek?" Charlotte inquired as she stubbed out her cigar on a nearby wall.

"Oh yeeeah, I'm dandy...can we go already?"

Charlotte handed Lennon her pack and they set off out into the corridor, the geek slipping into the straps of her huge carry-on in the process.

"Where do you think they are?" Dawn asked, keeping one eye trained on the map she was trying to unfold with her left hand and the other eye on her surroundings as she held up her gun defensively with her right.

She was a funny looking sight, to be sure.

"I have no idea," Charlotte answered honestly, "But we'll find them."

"Don't Sues have like...a pattern when they take over a fandom, Charlotte?"

"That was no ordinary Sue, Dawn," The Busters Commander replied, "That was a Sentient Sue...one that has grown beyond her original, for lack of a better word, programming."

Dawn looked puzzled and Charlotte continued to explain, "Sues usually only have one goal in life; To be the most desirable, perfect, beautiful and heroic character in any given fandom. They're often loved by everyone except their most bitter rival, they save the day with either their cunning and cleverness or by giving up their lives in a classically romantic way...dying for true love and such."

The stringy haired blonde nodded.

"Sometimes, although it's rare," Charlotte explained, "there comes a time when a Sue becomes aware of more than her original purpose. Occasionally, the Sue will grow to become an OC, leaving her Sue-ish beginnings behind her by taking on realistic flaws, and other times...other times she decides to use her new found awareness to take over completely. In cases like those, she is called a Sentient Sue...which is exactly what Ashley whats-her-face has become. Of course, that makes her the most dangerous threat because while she's grown beyond her original limitations, she still possess the powers bestowed upon a Sue at creation."

"And those are?"

"Beauty, intelligence and the ability to manipulate situations, people and things artfully to her whim." The redhead glanced at the blonde briefly as they walked purposefully along, "And now she's got McKay in her clutches and is most likely trying to-"

"Look, I don't care what she is, what she wants or what powers she's got," Lennon snapped, rounding a corner, "So help me God, Charlotte, if that pepto bismol coated bitch laid one finger on him, I'm gonna rip her open from nose to navel. Clean up be damned."

---------

A/N: Nenya, Nenya, Nenya...she gave me the inspiration for the whump bunnies loooong ago and I've been just dying to use them for what seems like forever. Finally got my chance, it would seem.

Next chapter we _finally_ get our four heroes reunited once again. Woot.


	61. Anti Climactic

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue was growing incredibly impatient.

Rodney and Anti Madison had been gone for close to half an hour and hadn't shown any signs of returning.

"What is taking them _so_ long?" She whined, pouting and stomping one foot into the ground childishly.

A dreadful thought occurred to her then.

What if Madison had decided to keep Rodney for herself?

Granted, this wasn't the most likely scenario in the world, but Sues aren't known for their powers of logical reasoning and it helped to push the ever molasses like slow moving plot along as well as anything else the author could think of.

"They're taking too long!" Ashley declared, jumping up from her pink, fuzzy throne, "I want you to go find them!"

Anti Charlotte and Anti Lennon, whose names kept being hyphenated and then un-hyphenated, since Techie couldn't make up her mind about which way to write them, glanced at each other.

"Why not send some of your Sues to do the job?" Anti Charlotte asked.

"Why not send some of my Sues to do the job? Why not send some of _my_ Sues to do the job?"

"Are you repeating the question to buy time?" Charlotte asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Is it working?"

"No."

"Damn."

"Can we move on?"

"Why...yes...I think now would be the most opportune time for a scene change, don't you?"

---

Lennon, Charlotte and Dawn met up with McKay about a minute and a half after the end of the last chapter and Charlotte could feel the geek's relief coming off her in waves.

Of course there was a small amount of disbelief tossed in there as well because after all, how often does _Rodney_ hit his captor on the back of the head and stuff them in a closet?

Not very often, especially with Techie at the helm...she likes to torture him.

Not that you didn't already know that, of course.

And if you didn't...well, then you're not true fans because you haven't read _everything_ Techie's ever written, in which case: shame!

Wait…where were we? Oh right.

The Bunny Busters were more than a little bit skeptical about Rodney's claims that he managed to take out an Anti on his own, but since there was no evidence to the contrary, they were forced to accept it and move on.

After thoroughly arming McKay, the four companions started out in the direction of the Sue headquarters purposefully, intent on blowing them all to smithereens.

Somehow, they managed to get turned around, and instead of winding up inside the Sue's HQ, they found themselves in a room that was about the same size as the Sue's HQ, but was most definitely _not_ the Sue's HQ.

The fact that it was empty and didn't have a single item in it that was pink was their first clue.

"I thought you said this was the place, McKay," Lennon snapped irritably, hiking her pack up higher on one of her shoulders.

"Doesn't look like a Sue headquarters to me," Dawn added, glancing around the room, "I expected there to be a lot more pastel-y."

"It _should_ be," Rodney replied, completely puzzled, "I retraced my steps perfectly...I don't understand why we wound up here and not in that ghastly woman's throne room."

"Because you can't have a climactic showdown with _us_ in Ashley's presence," came the unsolicited reply from behind the four.

Every head in sight turned and the two Anti Plot Bunny Agents who were still in commission wandered through the doorway, guns at the ready.

Fortunately for our four intrepid heroes, the author had an unbelievable fondness for them and decided to give them an edge.

Anti Lennon tripped over her untied shoelaces, bumped into Anti Charlotte and they both hit the floor face first with a THWACK! noise.

After a sharp bark of laughter from Lennon, who just couldn't contain her glee at someone _else_ being whumped for a change, the four companions had their guns trained on the two Antis who scrambled up from the floor.

Of course, it couldn't possibly be all _that_ easy, so it was soon arranged so that the heroes and the villains were in a stand off, guns pointed at each other.

"Put the guns down," Charlotte ordered gruffly.

"What have we got to lose?" Anti Lennon asked snootily.

"Your lives," Dawn replied as harshly as she possibly could.

"You seem to think that scares us," Anti Charlotte said with an unsettling smile, "You forget, ladies, we're Antis. The very reason we exist is to be evil and reckless. It's our one purpose in life. Just like your purpose is to be thinly veiled Sues in OC's clothing."

Lennon growled deep in her chest, "We're **not** Sues."

"Sure you are...the same way _we_ are...even McKay is the Sue to some neurotic staff writer," Anti Lennon said, "You don't get it, do you Fisk? We're _all_ Sues at heart. Even the most developed of OCs is still, deep inside, a piece of the author that's desperate to be a part of the fictional universe. Why don't you just give in and enjoy it?"

"Because I'm **NOT** a Sue," Lennon said coldly as she pulled the trigger on her nine millimeter and lodged a bullet deep in the chest of Anti Charlotte. Anti Charlotte, who was too stunned to even react, looked down at her bullet wound and then back up at Lennon. From the hole in her chest there was seeping a thick, black smoke that billowed and pooled around Anti Charlotte.

"You _bitch_," she said from between gnashed teeth, "You...you...you're a-"

But we'll never know what Lennon was, because the wound Anti Charlotte had sustained started to widen and even more of the black cloud poured out of her chest cavity.

She screamed and the cloud grew larger and larger until it swallowed her up and collapsed in on itself, leaving things completely silent.

"Wow," Dawn said in awe, "That was...that was..."

"Anti Climactic?" Anti Lennon supplied with a smirk.

Techie gave the slower members of the audience a couple of seconds to catch up with that bit of dry wit.

And another few seconds for the even _slower_ ones.

"Oh, _very_ clever," Lennon replied, "But if I were you, I wouldn't be smirking. You're next."

Anti Lennon burst out laughing scornfully, "That's what _you_ think. You can't kill me."

"You wanna test out that theory of yours?" Charlotte asked, taking aim.

"Oh come _on_, girls...you ought to know how the evil twin cliché works by now. Only my good double's best friend can kill me and you, honey, ain't her." Anti Lennon glanced at her nails, nonchalantly leaning against a wall.

"What's she talking about?" Dawn asked, quite clearly puzzled.

"The rules of the evil twin/alternate universe cliché, my dear." Anti Lennon winked at the blonde, "Haven't you ever noticed? It's always the best friend of the 'good' double who ends up offing the 'bad' one."

Anti Lennon smirked at Charlotte, "You might consider Lennon to be _your_ best friend, but _she_ doesn't feel the same...that honor goes to someone else. Someone who is conveniently rather dead, at the moment."

Charlotte pulled the trigger on her nine millimeter, but even though her aim was perfect, the bullet didn't strike it's intended target. The ammunition veered off course and struck the wall next to her instead. The redhead looked at her companions in alarm, and they all glanced at each other with puzzlement, eyes wide and mouths agape. Charlotte recovered quickly, however, and emptied her gun. Again, her aim was perfect, but somehow all the bullets managed to lodge themselves in the wall instead of in the Anti.

Anti Lennon smirked, "When are you going to learn to believe what I say, Walker? I'm _always_ right."

"She does have a point," the real Lennon muttered, garnering a glare from her superior.

"The canon can't hurt me, the newb can't hurt me...you yourself can't hurt me. Hell, even my own _double_ can't."

A voice from somewhere out in the corridor broke in, "But I can."

**BLAM!**

Anti Lennon was struck in the back from behind by a shotgun shell that blew away a two inch chunk of flesh and left a huge billowing cloud of black to escape.

Unlike the Anti who died before her, Anti Lennon wasn't even given the opportunity to curse her fate. With such an enormous wound, her Anti Essence escaped ten times faster and she was gone in the blink of an eye with barely a scream.

After the Anti Essence cleared, the four companions were left with a much more dangerous adversary staring them down.

Standing in the doorway of the room, swaying slightly and crusted over with dark, dried blood, stood Cupcake: Stargate Atlantis fandom Muse, with a shotgun cradled in her hands and a murderous look on her face, ready and willing to wipe our four heroes out of existence...next chapter.

-----

A/N: Ah…one fight is resolved and another commences!

And for those of you that _still_ don't get it...Anti Climactic: Bad pun. Not only was the _scene_ anti climactic, but it was also Anti Climactic because it was the end of one of the Antis. Get it? _Anti_ Climactic.

Ahem. Yes. Nine chapters left to go. Five of which are already completed and are merely awaiting the transitional chapters that'll string them all together.


	62. Muses And Ammunition

The Muse stood across from Lennon, Charlotte and Dawn, in her traditional Greek Muse's toga, wobbling only slightly on her feet. The sawed off shotgun was held low near her left hip, trained dangerously on the three Bunny Busters and canon.

The only real hope they had in getting away from the inebriated creature was if it lost interest. That was the one advantage that you could count on when dealing with a Muse. They weren't like plot bunnies. Plot bunnies were persistent. Muses, on the other hand were notoriously flighty and easily distracted.

If they could just find something shiny and wave it in front of the Muse's face...

"You!" The Muse slurred as she swung an accusing finger towards the occupants of the room, "You're _Sues_, aren't you? You're in league with the bunnies!"

Cupcake brought the gun up to eye level and stared down it's shaft, swaying and trying to get a decent fix on her targets, "I'll show you Sues who's boss in this fandom!"

She fired two shots, both of them _way_ off their marks. Lennon and Dawn dodged one way while Charlotte and McKay mirrored their actions in the opposite direction.

Cupcake let out a growl, "Hold still, damn it!"

**BLAM! BLAM!**

Charlotte and McKay took refuge behind a very conveniently situated pillar, pressing themselves against it as two more shots were fired and two huge chunks were blown out of the pillar, exploding in a cloud of dust and rubble. McKay pulled out his gun, intent on firing a few warning shots in Cupcake's general direction.

Charlotte grabbed his hand and pushed it down, "NO! You can't shoot at her!"

"Why the hell not?" he shouted back.

"It's a violation of the Muse/APBA peace agreement! We CAN'T shoot at her!"

"She doesn't seem to have a problem violating that agreement!" Lennon screamed from the other side of the room.

Another shotgun blast sounded and another chunk of the pillar was blown away.

"We still can't do it! We'd be arrested!"

"Better arrested than **dead**, Charlie!"

"We can't just stand here all day waiting for her to blow our brains out!" McKay added, in a very 'out to save my own ass regardless of the consequences' way.

"How is it she can shoot us anyway, Charlotte?" Dawn screamed as dust and debris hit her squarely on the head, "How did she kill the Anti? I'm pretty sure she's not Lennon's best friend!"

Two more shots from Cupcake's weapon demolished the pillar that Lennon and Dawn were crouched behind and they were forced to dive for cover elsewhere.

It's a good thing there were so many conveniently placed pillars in this particular room, don't you think?

"Muses operate outside our jurisdiction, Dawn!" Charlotte shouted back, desperately trying to figure out how to combat Cupcake without breaking any of the rules in place, "They're mythical creatures that aren't bound by our rules of conduct or the laws of reality!"

A flash of light filled the room and everyone was blinded for a split second. Cupcake fired aimlessly, lodging half a dozen shotgun shells in the walls, miraculously without reloading her weapon of choice once.

"**CUPCAKE!**" An authoritative voice bellowed abruptly, "You drop that gun or it'll be your skin!"

The gunfire stopped and Cupcake whirled to look at whoever had _dared_ to order the cessation of her rampage.

She wasn't expected the stern, short little man in a knee length toga with graying hair to be staring her down as fiercely as a bull.

Cupcake, underneath the thick coating of plot bunny blood, blanched. Her blue eyes went wide like a doe's and her bottom lip quivered twitchily.

"C-c-c-comicus!" Cupcake stuttered.

"Drop that gun, young lady!" the little man snapped angrily.

"B-but Comicus!" Cupcake protested with a child like pout.

"You're coming _home_."

"They're Sues! They deserve to die!"

Comicus' face twisted into an expression of disbelief and disgust, "You schmendrick. You can't even see straight with all that Romulan ale swimming in your blood stream, can you?"

"She can see well enough!" McKay shouted from his vantage point safe behind what was left of the pillar.

**BLAM!**

Rodney went pale as the rest of the pillar was blown away, leaving him exposed.

"Way to tempt fate, McKay," Charlotte said, shaking her head from where she stayed crouched near the ground behind the rubble.

"Cupcake," Comicus said sternly, taking a step towards the angry, confused and bloody Muse, "Give me the shotgu-"

**BLAM!**

The little old man glanced down at himself briefly before looking back up at the stunned Cupcake, whose mouth was hanging open.

"This was a new toga," he stated flatly, "And you've blown a hole in it."

"What about the hole in _you_?" Cupcake squeaked in horror, dropping the shotgun and covering her mouth with her hands, suddenly feeling very, _very_ sober.

Comicus waved a hand dismissively, "This? This is _nothing_."

"So I won't be in trouble?" the blood covered blonde asked hopefully.

"No, no...you're royally screwed." Comicus plucked at the gaping, bloodless hole in his middle which was rapidly closing up underneath the torn toga. Once the healing was complete the little man sighed, leaned down and picked up the shotgun that Cupcake had so carelessly dropped.

"M-m-my tangibility?" Cupcake asked, bottom lip trembling.

Comicus looked at her seriously, "Revoked."

The blonde's eyes welled up with tears, "But-But-But-"

Comicus started ticking things off on his fingers, "You entered the fandom-"

"It's MY fandom!" Cupcake protested.

The old man continued, not even bothering to take notice that he'd been interrupted, "Started wiping out inhabitants-"

"They're plot bunnies! They don't belong here!"

"You tried shooting at APBA agents, disregarding the peace agreement-"

"I thought they were Sues!"

"You partook of _illegal_ fandom specific alcohol-"

"Arca told me it was Kool-aid!"

Comicus looked at Cupcake pointedly, "_And_ you shot your superior."

"I di-" Cupcake, who had her index finger up and was all ready to defend herself against that accusation, stopped in mid word, "Alright so you've got me on that one. But I-"

Cupcake was interrupted, however, when a flash of carrot colored hair and white linen passed by the open door and then doubled back.

"CUPCAKE!" Arca cried happily before turning back towards the corridor, "Caesar, I found her!"

Arca entered the room fully, "Thank God we found you before-"

Comicus, who was standing to the left of the doorway where Arca couldn't see him out in the corridor, stepped directly in front of her and looked sternly at the mischievous Muse.

Arca, on seeing the short, graying bringer of doom, let out a "Wuh oh" and started back the way she came.

Comicus however was quick enough to stop her. Regardless of his appearance, he was still an incredibly spry little guy. He stepped out from behind Cupcake and grabbed Arca by the scruff of the toga.

The red head plastered on a grin when Comicus turned her around forcefully, "Comicus...my man..._hi_." Arca shook herself out of his grasp and brushed him off, smiling all the while, "How ya doin' there pal?"

"Don't you 'pal' me, you. It's your fault she's here causing trouble in the first place," Comicus scolded.

"Am I in hot water?" Arca asked with a gulp.

"_Scalding._"

"Comicus," Arca began in a pleading tone, "It wasn't my fault! Honest! You know I've always been peaceful with the APBA agents in the fandoms! I'd never _dream_ of hurting one of them and-"

"**YOU!**" Came Lennon's angry bellow from across the room.

The geek had crept out of her hiding place after the shooting ceased, and when Arca entered the room, she stood up straight as a rod.

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SHOT ME!" Lennon accused, pointing at Arca.

"Huh?" Arca asked, puzzled.

"Star Trek TOS, March, two thousand one," Lennon snapped viciously, "A twenty two caliber bullet to the back!"

Arca slapped a hand over her face in recognition.

Comicus, meanwhile, turned back to look at her, "You were saying?"

The orange haired Muse made a little sobbing noise, bowed her head and held her hands out in defeat, wrists together in a gesture that said 'slap the cuffs on, officer', "Be gentle."

"It's not me you'll be dealin' with. Serendipity has the final say," Comicus replied, "Where's Caesar?"

"He's lookin' for Cupcake," Arca answered, head still bowed and voice coming out completely dejected.

"No he's not," the phantom voice overhead piped up.

"Where is he then?" Comicus asked, as though interacting with the author was a perfectly natural occurrence and not against all the fourth wall conventions that the APBA held so dear.

"Out in the corridor, hidin'."

"HEY! NO FAIR!" Caesar cried as he was rousted from his hiding place by the gentle prodding of plot progression, "How did you know?"

"All knowing and all seeing is a bitch, ain't it?" The voice mocked with a giggle, "Scurry along now...inside the room..go on."

Reluctantly, Caesar walked into the room where the others were and stood before Comicus, staring down at his sandals like a child brought before a disappointed parent.

"Well, well, well, the gang's all here," Comicus said, hands fisted at his waist.

The short Muse turned to look at the no longer cowering Bunny Busters and their charge, "My sincerest apologies, ladies. You have my personal guarantee that these three _won't_ be back to bother you again."

With a snap of his fingers and a blinding flash of light, all four Muses were gone, leaving only Cupcake's numerous weapons scattered on the ground behind them.

"Where did they go?" Dawn asked after she recovered her eyesight.

"Who cares?" Lennon sniped, rushing to the pile of arms, her upset over Arca's appearance temporarily forgotten "She had a rock salt shot gun, C4, a chainsaw, a-"

"Salivate later, Lenny," Charlotte said, popping a fresh cigar between her lips and lighting it up, "We've got a Sentient Sue to kill."

-----

A/N: Can you believe I had this Cupcake vendetta fight slated for chapter _nine_ originally?

That was back before this thing grew into the epic of the century.

Before Arca, Caesar and Comicus were a twinkle in my eyes.

Back before the bunnies took over my _life_.

There's an alternate version of this chapter on my hard drive as well..one that includes a conversation held only in Yiddish, complete with subtitles.

No, seriously. Floaty subtitles popping up in front of the characters. It sounds funny, but it just didn't work this time around.

Ahem. Yes. New challenge! Cupcake, Arca and Caesar's trial at the Syndicate. Have fun.

Eight! chapters left...up next, the Atlantis Sues finally meet their matches...


	63. Inside The Belly Of The Beast

After the Muses disappeared, Charlotte and Dawn started picking up all of the equipment left behind by Cupcake. There were plenty of weapons that were shiny and appealing.

What caught Lennon's eye and made her insides turn to ice, was a snub nosed revolver.

The geek suddenly flashed back to the note that her future self had dropped. The little yellow slip of paper had a message on it that spelled out her fate cryptically, in the hopes that she could avoid whatever it was that had happened.

So far, however, things were unfolding exactly as had been indicated in the note.

Culminating with the snub nose in front of her.

Whatever Lennon was supposed to do in order to avoid what was coming hadn't been done and she was looking at the instrument that would set into a motion a series of events that couldn't be reversed.

The geek's double had been limping when the four companions had run into their future selves and it didn't take a genius to figure out that Lennon was in for a good deal of pain pretty soon.

Charlotte picked up the revolver and looked down the barrel, "Nice balance."

"I'll take it," Lennon said, holding out her hand.

The redhead looked at her subordinate skeptically, "You don't really like revolvers, Len. You're more of an automatic weapon girl."

"Yeah...but I got a good feeling about this gun," Lennon lied.

Charlotte shrugged and handed the weapon in question to the geek, "Have fun playing Dirty Harry."

"I will," Lennon grinned as best she could, flipping out the six bullet chamber.

One bullet left.

While Dawn and Charlotte finished packing up what they wanted from Cupcake's miniature arms dealership, Lennon tucked the revolver down the front of her jeans, well within reach.

"You ready, Lenny?" Dawn asked with a genuine grin after she stood up and hitched her backpack up higher on her shoulders.

Lennon set a fresh clip into her nine millimeter, "Let's go kick some ass."

----

Inside the Sue's headquarters, her highness, Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue felt strange. Like there was something going on that she should be prepared for.

Raven, the only black haired woman in the room (a tell tale sign that she was a Goth!Sue) tilted her head at the anxious Sue Queen and gazed at her curiously with amethyst eyes shining, "What is it, your highness?"

Ashley's head snapped around and she looked at Raven, "I don't know. Something's wrong. The Antis _have_ been gone for an _awfully_ long time."

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue's eyes got big. She jumped up from her throne and pointed at the door, "I want eight Sues posted at the door with weapons and a scout in the hallway! **NOW!**"

----

Lennon's hands were shaking by the time the four traveling companions reached the area of the city where the air was growing thick with perfume. Strategizing ahead of time was never Lennon's thing. She couldn't think ahead without having a panic attack, hence the reason she lived life moment to moment, rolling with the punches and only coming up with vague plans of action. If she knew what was going to happen ahead of time, she tended to think too much and get herself so worked up that her heart would flutter faster than a humming bird's wings.

It was much better, in her opinion, to have no idea what was going to happen and just make things up as she went along.

Charlotte Walker, on the other hand, was of the opposite disposition. She preferred having plenty of time to consider every option available to her and pick out the best course of action based on the facts presented.

McKay shook his head and blinked, trying to make the fuzziness dissipate.

At first, he had thought it was just because of the smoke from Charlotte's stinky cigar, but soon it became abundantly clear that it was more than that. The atmosphere in the corridor was lighter than it had been before. Hazy. Foggy. Things seemed to move slightly slower as well, as though the four were walking through a gel like substance. Like wading through water. The air was almost visible, so heavy with bright pink aura that it was almost like the air was trying to resist their entrance into it and push back against them.

McKay had no trouble walking forward, just as he hadn't had any trouble leaving the Sue HQ, because he was a canon. The atmosphere that they were passing through was meant as a deterrent against OCs. None but Sues, Antis and Canons were meant to enter here.

Dawn was feeling the effects, but being as inexperienced as she was, she had no idea what was causing it. The blonde stopped walking and leaned over, her hands on her knees as she tried to regain her bearings.

"Wait...just-" she held up a hand, "Hang on a second."

Lennon, McKay and Charlotte turned around to look at her.

"Are you alright to go on, Dawn?" Charlotte asked, concern coloring her tone.

"I'm...uh...I don't know." Dawn straightened up and scrubbed a hand over her face, "What is all this?"

Lennon kept her sarcastic comment to herself about Dawn's lack of knowledge, as she too was feeling the heavy, oppressive effects of the atmosphere around them in addition to her anxiety about the impending doom she was facing.

"We're approaching the Sue's HQ." The geek blinked a few times, trying to clear her head of the fog that was trying to press in on the edges of her consciousness, "It must be a huge one to have this strong of an effect." Lennon took a step, and ended up staggering a little.

If at all possible, the corridor had gotten even brighter, pinker and more claustrophobic throughout this exchange.

"The faster we wipe out the Sues, the faster the air will clear," Charlotte said.

"Can we hurry?" Dawn asked in a rush, "It's getting hard to breathe."

Charlotte nodded and took Dawn's arm, supporting her, "It'll be over soon...come on."

----

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue drummed her fingers anxiously on the arm of her throne. She'd never admit that there were butterflies flapping around wildly inside her, but that was indeed the way she felt.

When a burgundy haired Sue rushed into the room from the corridor and exclaimed, "They're coming!" the butterflies in the Queen's stomach went still and hit the floor of her stomach.

"Get ready!"

----

About two hundred feet from the HQ, Lennon's stomach did a flip flop and her fight or flight instinct kicked into high gear. The air was so thick with the pink perfume that she had to take shallow breaths to avoid choking on it. As a result, she felt nauseous and light headed.

The four people who traveled in a tightly knit group were expecting a great many things when they entered through the doorway of the brightly decorated Sue's HQ.

But none of those things even came close to what actually wound up happening.

Although they thought themselves prepared, with their guns brought up and the safeties off, they weren't.

They managed to squeeze off seven shots between them before a small horde of Sues descended upon them, disarmed them and then dragged them to the center of the room.

Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue was standing there, looking as haughty and self righteous as ever, in a pose of dominance and ruthless beauty.

"We meet at last," the Queen said with a grin, stepping down from the lofty platform that her throne was situated on.

"My nemeses," she gestured grandly with one hand at the three Bunny Busters before gesturing with the other at Rodney, "_And_ my unintended. This is a distinct pleasure to finally make your acquaintance."

Charlotte threw her entire body in the direction of Ashley, but the four Sues that had ahold of her kept her held firmly in place.

"This one's feisty," Ashley said with amusement. She started laughing and the tinkling sound quickly became a song sung by all of the Sues in the room.

Dawn thought it rather unsettling how they all laughed in the same exact bubbly pitch, and it made the entire room vibrate with an aura of creepiness.

It was then that Lennon, Charlotte and Dawn actually _looked_ at the women who had such a strangle hold on them.

The Sues that were packed in tightly around them were blank looking in comparison to Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue. Where _her_ eyes sparkled with malice and danger, the others held only superficial sparkles with nothing beneath the surface.

The two eldest Busters looked at each other and silent communication took place. They had never been in this situation before, but they were aware of the phenomenon.

This had escalated to more than just a Sue with Sentient powers taking over and leading the others...

This was a Borg collective done over in pastels.

"It's a hive mind," Lennon whispered, eyes wide and fearful, "She's doing all the thinking for the entire group."

"We could destroy the horde in one fell swoop if we could just kill the Queen..." Charlotte murmured just loud enough for Lennon to hear.

Ashley stopped laughing and sobered suddenly.

The Sues around her followed suit, halting their laughter just as abruptly as their leader had.

"You want to kill me?" Ashley asked, feigning shock, "Why?"

"You're the embodiment of pure evil," Dawn answered bravely.

"I can't help it," Ashley struck a pose, "I'm not _bad_...I'm just written that way."

"It doesn't matter. You're _still_ the embodiment of pure evil," Charlotte stated, "It's our duty to kill you."

"It's too bad you haven't any weapons on you then isn't it?" Ashley stepped foreword and snapped up one of the guns that had been laid in front of her after the Busters had been disarmed, "Now _me_ on the other hand..."

The beautiful blonde brought the gun up and pointed it directly at Charlotte's head, then at Dawn's and finally at Lennon's, saying the word "BANG!" loudly each time she moved down the line.

She looked at the gun closely afterwards, "Nah...it's be no fun to do it this way. It'd be like shooting fish in a barrel. I mean...you're not even _armed_. It wouldn't be a fair fight."

Lennon took a gulp of air and said, before she even thought about the consequences, "I am."

Ashley turned suddenly and looked at the geek with interest. "Oh really?" She asked, her voice raising an octave as she stepped towards Lennon purposefully, "Where?"

"Under my shirt...a forty five," Lennon replied.

Hey, Ashley was going to find it anyway. Lennon knew that.

The Queen strode towards Lennon, reached out and snatched the forty five from the band of her jeans. She spent several seconds admiring the craftsmanship of the weapon before a glowing smile spread across her face, "One bullet..."

Lennon gulped.

"Let that one go," Ashley said, indicating Lennon with a wave of her hand, "We're going to have some _fun_."

The four red headed Sues that had been hanging onto Lennon's arms released her and stepped away.

"All of you step back," Ashley ordered sternly.

Lennon watched as McKay, Charlotte and Dawn were dragged towards the rear of the room.

**CRASH**!

The snub nosed revolver hit the ground just a few inches from a pair of muddied Converse sneakers and Lennon spun to look down at it.

"Take it," the Queen taunted, "Take it and shoot me. I _dare_ you."

Lennon held the gaze of the Sue, flicked her tongue out and licked her bottom lip anxiously, "What about your Sues?"

Ashley smiled charmingly, enthralled by the idea that Lennon was seriously considering the duel, "Don't worry...I'll be a good sport. I won't shoot until you have the gun in hand and have a sporting chance and none of them will come _near_ you. I swear on my Louis Vuitton train case."

"Lenny! NO!" Charlotte pulled against the four beautiful women who held her glued to the spot.

"Don't you dare!" Ashley shouted at Charlotte, "You won't interfere! This is between me and her!"

When Ashley turned to shout at Charlotte, Lennon dove for the gun, grabbed it and then somersaulted out of the way.

"No fair! I wasn't ready!" The blonde goddess screamed, holding one finger in her ear and the other on the trigger of her weapon as she sent off a series of shots that Lennon somehow miraculously managed to dodge.

"What do you think you're doing?" She screamed, still shooting.

"Thinkin' on my feet. It's pretty much heroic behavior one-oh-one!" Lennon dodged behind one of the only pillars in the room, "I thought you'd know that."

"I'm the villain, not the hero!" Ashley howled and shot at the pillar, blasting away chunks of it until Lennon was forced to run out from behind it and seek cover elsewhere.

"Oh _that's_ right. You guys don't get the same handbook we do."

Ashley's nine millimeter clicked uselessly and she dove for the pile of Bunny Buster weapons on the floor, grabbing a clip that only had one bullet left. She set it into place and spun to get a clear shot at Lennon.

Out of breath, Lennon stopped running, her sneakers squeaking on the freshly waxed floor and brought the end of the revolver up to eye level, pointing it at Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue when she heard the new clip set into place.

Lennon's heart was in her mouth. She knew what was coming. She knew that she probably could prevent it if she tried, but she didn't dare. Techie had seen Reservoir Dogs one too many times and Lennon knew that regardless of how badly she wanted to change things, ultimately it wasn't up to her.

Black eyes met bright, sparkling blue ones and time stopped for an instant.

Two loud shots rang out simultaneously and both Ashley Brittany Jennifer Sue and Lennon hit the ground on their backs.

Both of them had identical stains quickly spreading across their chests; identical except for the fact that from Lennon's wound came a torrent of red and from Ashley's seeped bright sparkly pink goop.

A violent shudder passed through Ashley's body and she let out an angry howl, much like the one that Sarah did when she expired all those chapters ago.

A bubble of pink exploded outwards from her torso and her entire body went up in a huge wave of Sue Goo, followed by the huge green cloud of pure, unadulterated evil that screeched angrily and then dissipated.

Without their leader, the Sues that were holding onto Charlotte, Dawn and McKay lost their ability to think as a single unit and became disoriented, knocking into each other without the benefit of the hive mind to guide their actions.

Inexplicably, they started to explode like something out of Doctor Goldfoot And The Girl Bombs, pink globs of marshmallowy fluff landing everywhere all over the place, followed by cloud after cloud of screaming green. Within thirty seconds, the floor was coated in pink, sparkly goop and the remaining Sues continued spontaneously combusting.

All of this went unnoticed by Charlotte however, because all she saw was Lennon spread eagled on the floor in the middle of the room, lying perfectly still.

----

A/N: Quick! Next chapter! Go! RUN! I KNOW YOU WANT TO! **HURRY!**

Oh...wait. I forgot. I'm holding it hostage for a few days.

MUAHAHHAHAHA!

-builds suspense-

What? I haven't been able to leave a single good cliff hanger for more than two hours throughout this whole story. I'm bloody well entitled to at _least_ one!

Ahem. Doctor Goodfoot And The Girl Bombs is an incredibly, unbelievably stupid Vincent Price movie...it's like a James Bond spoof type thing. It's one of those films where you sit through it and then say to yourself, "Why the _hell_ did I just waste two hours of my life on that?" There's also a variation of my _favorite_ line from my favorite movie up there...see if you can spot it.

-already knows who'll see it first thing-

Waahha. 'Techie types' was mentioned on SVU just now. Teehee.

Dang it. I have to go work on that Law and Order fic...damn. -wanders off-


	64. The End Of Lennon

The entire floor was covered in sparkly pink Sue Goo and Charlotte slipped and slid as she ran and dropped to her knees next to the fallen geek, "LENNON!"

Lennon didn't respond to her commander's desperate shout. Not so much as a muscle twitch.

Charlotte put her fingers to Lennon's throat. She desperately felt around for a pulse for several seconds.

When she didn't find one, panic tore up through her, threatening to render her utterly useless with it's intensity.

_No pulse. No pulse. No pulse. _

Alright, no reason to panic. Charlotte had never been very good at finding a pulse at the throat. There was a possibility that it was there and she just wasn't able to find it.

She put her head to her teammate's chest, straining her ears for any of those tell tale thuds that would indicate Lennon's heart was still beating beneath the splotch of crimson that was running down her front.

Nothing. Not even a murmur.

_Now_ there was reason to panic.

Charlotte pulled off her vest and tore out the thick lining, pressing it to the bullet wound on Lennon's chest and then started CPR immediatly.

"Don't you _dare_, Lenny!" Charlotte shouted, fear and anger fueling her.

One chest compression.

Afraid that Lennon would be gone.

Two chest compressions.

Angry that Lennon would _leave._

Three chest compressions.

"Don't you dare die on me! That's an **order**!"

Four chest compressions.

"God damn it, geek!"

Five chest compressions.

A breath.

"Come on, Lenny! Work with me here!"

The red puddle beneath Lennon was spreading and the blood was starting to seep through the knees of Charlotte's trousers.

This fact only egged her on in her efforts to revive her friend.

"Lenny, don't be a hero!"

Dawn looked on, terrified, as Charlotte forced air into Lennon's lungs and pumped her chest again and again.

One, two, three, four, five, breath.

One, two, three, four, five, breath.

Lennon was still unresponsive after close to four minutes of CPR and Dawn had to practically yank Charlotte off of her.

The blonde slipped across the floor as she reached for her commanding officer and tugged at her shirt desperately, "Charlie! Stop!"

"No!" Charlotte cried, "I'm not through yet!" She punched her fist into Lennon's chest again, violently trying to restart her heart, "LENNY!"

Dawn's lower lip quivered as she knelt down next to Charlotte and tugged her again, whispering, "It's over. Let her go."

Charlotte rocked back on her heels and pressed her fists to her eyes for a moment before she looked back at Lennon.

She looked so fragile...so pale.

More than usual.

_Deathly_ pale.

Charlotte wrapped her arms around herself and pushed down the lump that had formed in her throat as she stared at the body, utterly horrified at what had just happened.

Lennon was gone.

One minute she was there, walking, talking, snarking...and the next, she was silent and still.

It was like she was a candle that had been abruptly snuffed out.

Her best friend, her comrade in arms, the closest thing to a sister she'd ever had...

_Gone._

Charlotte stifled a cry and covered her face with her hands.

Dawn sank down on the ground and her head drooped as tears started welling up in her eyes.

All around the world, there was a collective cry from the readers, which grew from a small whine to a full blown roar.

England, Australia, the States...dozens of other countries that Techie was unaware of...

They all had just one thing to say, and they were saying it loudly.

Vehemently.

_No._

She couldn't really be dead. She just _couldn't._

Well...maybe if..

No, no. It's too silly.

Although...it just might...hm.

It might at that.

Alright, you all remember in Peter Pan when Tink is dying and you have to bring her back from the brink?

Well my dears, it's time for some audience participation...

Squeeze your eyes shut tight and _believe_.

Come on, seriously, squeeze 'em shut.

I mean it...go on, it won't kill you. Buy into the magic _just_ this once.

You too…

Don't fight me on this, girls…I know who you are…

STOP READING AND SHUT THOSE PEEPERS!

NENYA! NOW WOMAN!

Eyes slipped shut around the globe (save for a few of you that refuse to play along...shame!) and by the sheer force of the combined will of the readers, Lennon's eyes fluttered.

Another few seconds passed and her little finger twitched slightly.

McKay, who had been watching the entire ordeal in shock, suddenly shouted, "She's alive!"

Lennon took a deep shuddering breath and her two teammates were beside her within seconds, hanging onto her hands desperately.

"Lenny!" Charlotte said happily, "You're alive!"

"I was-" Lennon coughed, "Too lazy to walk all the way to the light."

Charlotte was on the brink of crying out of relief, but opted to scold Lennon instead, "Don't you _ever_ do that to me again!"

The geek took a large gulp of air before she spoke, her voice almost strangled with the effort, "Trust me, it's not high up on my to-do list."

------

A/N:This one is more of a tribute than a parody. A tribute to all those of you that refuse to let certain well loved characters stay dead, when there's a plausible way for them to come back. It's for the fans who refuse to believe that their favorites are really gone -cough- Lone Gunmen, Kirk, Data -cough- and who hope they shall one day return to canon by some means or another. Be it movie, comic book or novel.

Hey, it could happen (actually, in the case of Kirk..it did).

Oh, and for those of you that had a small coronary when Lenny died...well...sorry. -sheepish- But it had to be done.


	65. Clean Up Commences

---_One Whole Day Later, After Lennon Had Sufficient Time To Recover---_

"I don't see why _I_ have to go up there," Lennon groused as Dawn hovered over her, attaching a few life sign monitors to her chest.

"Because you're the only one who knows exactly what we're looking for," Charlotte replied easily, "If Dawn or I were to go up to the Daedelus, we'd have no inkling of where to start. _You_ on the other hand..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I know."

"Don't worry, Lenny," Charlotte said reassuringly, patting her teammate on the shoulder, "We'll be monitoring your vitals remotely."

"Oh great," Lennon replied in her usual sarcastic manner, "So you'll have a whole ten seconds notice before I croak."

"More like eight point six." Dawn replied as she checked the status of all the cables leading off of Lennon's chest, "Besides, you've already died once, what's a second time around?"

Lennon leveled her eyes at the blonde, "You're _such_ a comfort, Dawn. Really, you are."

"Relax, Lenny," Charlotte said, "It's a quick in and out, shouldn't take you but a few minutes to find a viable power source up there, if things go according to plan."

Lennon raised an eyebrow, "Tell me something, Charlotte, how many missions did you say I've been on over the past nine years?"

Charlotte thought for a moment, "Uh, four hundred and eighty six."

"And to date, how many of those have gone 'according to plan'?"

Charlotte looked Lennon straight in the eye, "Two."

"Precisely."

"Don't worry, geek."

"What? Me? Worry? I don't even know the meaning of the word," Lennon said, before adding under her breath, "Now the word _panic_, on the other hand..."

McKay exited the jumper, with a tablet PC in hand, "Well, due to some rather brilliant modifications that I managed to make, which would most likely win me the nobel prize _if_ I could tell anyone about them-"

"Will it fly, or not?" Lennon asked impatiently, wanting him to get to the point already.

"Yes. Yes in _theory_ it'll fly."

"Fabulous," Lennon replied, her sarcasm dampened only slightly, "Gimme my pack."

Dawn lifted the heavy pack and handed it to Lennon, helping her to secure it in place.

"Alright," Lennon shifted her pack slightly and started for the jumper, "I'll be back in a bit."

McKay stepped in her path, which caused her eyebrows to furrow, "No you won't."

Lennon scoffed, "Excuse me? Are you trying to tell me what to do? Listen here fella," she poked him in the chest a few times, condescendingly, "I go where I wanna go and do what I wanna do. I'm not going to be ordered about by some uppity little scientist with his head so far up his ass he can't tell what time of day it is."

McKay glared at her, but stepped out of her way, gesturing grandly with his hand like a gentleman, "Well then by all means, go right ahead."

"Thank you, I will," she answered haughtily.

McKay crossed his arms over his chest and watched her walk into the ship.

Lennon wasn't inside the jumper five minutes before she stalked back out, her expression positively thunderous.

"I thought you said it would fly!"

"It _will_," McKay answered smugly, "For someone who has the ATA gene. Which you _don't_."

The geek put her hands on her hips, "And I suppose _you_ do?"

"Naturally."

"Oh yes, _naturally_." Lennon grumbled under her breath, "Which means that he's going to have to come with _me_. Just _fantastic_."

Lennon grabbed the irritating man by the collar and dragged him along behind her into the Puddle Jumper, "C'mon McKay, the faster we get up there the faster we can get outta here."

Charlotte smiled to herself as she watched the Puddle Jumper door slip shut and it lifted off the floor gracefully.

"Come on Dawn, we've got Anti Bunny charges to lay."

---_Thirty Minutes later in the Puddle Jumper high, **high** above the city...---_

If Lennon was blushing when in close quarters to Rodney McKay before, she looked like she was suffering from oxygen deprivation _now_.

Damn Techie and her mentions of David Hewlett in combination with whipped cream over e-mail.

I mean..

Uhhhh...

-awkward silence-

Just forget you ever read that.

Anyways...

The fact that the inertial dampeners weren't working at full capacity aboard the puddle jumper wasn't helping much either. In addition to the tug in the old arrow wound getting stronger and all the blood in her body rushing to take up residence in her face, she felt nauseous.

"Could you at least-" she winced, "_Try_ to stay flying in a straight line?"

"I'm a scientist, not a pilot-"

"Well that much is glaringly-" she made another face as the jumper shifted awkwardly, "Obvious."

Lennon glanced upwards and covered her mouth with her hands, feeling incredibly ill.

You would think, what with the dying and the whumping and all the other tortures that Lennon had been subjected to over the past sixty some odd chapters, that Techie would let up a little bit and take it easy on our favorite spectacled geek.

Yeah well, you'd be wrong...

While the raven haired geek was perfectly fine with travel by land or by sea, air was an entirely different matter. Lennon launched herself out of her seat and dashed to the back of the jumper to find something she could retch into.

---_Yet **Another** Thirty Minutes Later---_

Dawn was beginning to get an understanding of why Lennon was so nuts about explosives.

Blowing stuff up was _fun_. In fact, Dawn was enjoying it _so_ much, she was thinking about making her specialty demolitions instead of communications as originally planned.

Of course, that would mean joining a _new_ team, since Lennon was the demolitions expert on this one, but Dawn decided to think about that later.

Now that the Sues, Antis and Muses were no longer impeding the progress of the Busters, she and Charlotte were making short work of the remaining bunny dens around the city. Cupcake had wiped out almost eighty sectors (no one is quite sure how she managed to do that), and the Busters themselves cleaned out another forty seven, so there were less than fifty left to go. All the canons were accounted for and all were tucked away safely in various closets all over the city, so there was no danger in just filling a sector with Anti Bunny charges, walking away and then setting them off remotely.

Dawn set three small, marker sized canisters down on the floor and flashed a thumbs up to Charlotte, who was down the hallway from her, setting up three identical canisters. Charlotte returned the gesture and the two stood and walked in opposite directions, away from the freshly set bombs.

The blonde put her hands over her ears just in time to save them from the deafeningly loud **BANG! POP! KERWHIZ!** noise that the charges made when they exploded and filled the hallway with bright purple smoke.

The smoke, you see, was developed especially to cause an immediate cellular degeneration in the genetic make-up of Plot Bunnies. This made the fluffy little beast's bodies grow so unstable that they imploded and left little blotches of blood, grease and bunny guts wherever they were standing.

Granted, this was an incredibly messy method, what with the gallons and gallons of Bunny bits left behind, but it was infinitely better than using actual explosives that would not only kill the animals, but do damage to the surrounding area as well.

As the smoke cleared, Dawn returned to the hallway and started peeking inside every room on either side.

Many had large glops of dark red bunny bits spread across their floors.

"I'd say that was a complete success," Charlotte said with satisfaction, hands on her hips, "C'mon...let's go clear out sectors one ten through one thirty."

_---Meanwhile---_

McKay and Lennon climbed off the Puddle Jumper after docking with the Daedelus, Lennon looking much better in the open air than she had in the cramped ship.

Rodney, on the other hand, was looking _worse_. His forehead was dappled with sweat and his face was rather pale. He gulped and stumbled unevenly before Lennon caught his arm and looked at him in panic.

"McKay?"

He swayed but didn't answer.

"RODNEY!"

His blood pressure was plummeting and he _had_ to sit down. The physicist flopped down on and murmured what the problem was.

What with all the stress he'd been under, he'd forgotten to eat recently and being hypoglycemic, he was feeling the effects.

Lennon was no stranger to hypoglycemia; her brother was hypoglycemic, so she knew exactly what to do. After helping him to get situated against the wall of the ship, Lennon dropped her pack to the floor and started rummaging around inside.

Since _that_ didn't yield results quickly enough, she turned the pack upside down and dumped the contents everywhere. She sifted through everything until she finally spotted the bright golden wrapper that was tucked underneath

A chocolate bar, which she shoved into his hand forcefully.

Lennon hoped he knew how much that meant...it was her _last_ chocolate bar. There would be no more like that one. After all, that was a _genuine_ Scrumdidliumptious bar. Those don't just fall out of the sky, you know. You've got to bribe a Children's Book fandom team into bringing some back for you from Wonka's factory and that can be a costly endeavor indeed.

Rodney looked from the chocolate bar to Lennon suspiciously.

"Look at it as a selfish gesture, if you must," she huffed, "If you pass out from low blood sugar, I'll be stuck doing all the work alone."

Rodney needed no further encouragement. He gobbled down the chocolate greedily and within minutes was looking quite a bit healthier than he had been before.

Once the physicist had recovered and was back to being his snarky self, the two of them set off in search of the Naquadah generators that they would need in order to set up the restoration device back on Atlantis.

_---And Thirty Minutes After **That**---_

While Lennon was internally grumbling about giving up her last Wonka bar several thousand miles above the city, Charlotte and Dawn were taking a well deserved break. Without the Sues in the way, things were going so quickly that the two Bunny Busters had to wonder if Techie was just moving things along at this pace in order to get things over with.

They'd be wrong, of course...

Because Techie _loves_ her universe that she's been trapped in for the past six months...

Why on Earth would she be desperate to end it so she could finally do something _else_ for a change?

Branching out? That's crazy talk.

Charlotte leaned against the wall, slipping only slightly in the Bunny bits that were sploshing under her boots and lit up a celebratory cigar, "How many sectors have we got left, Dawn?"

Dawn pulled off her pack and rummaged around inside it for a moment before pulling out one of the now badly crumpled maps that she'd acquired oh so long ago. She unfolded it and glanced at all of the crossed out sectors, "Looks like...uh..."

Magically, the remaining sectors crossed themselves out and Dawn glanced skyward.

"Um..." Dawn rubbed her eyes, but found that the map remained the same, "It looks like we're done."

Charlotte's eyebrows shot up, "Really?"

"Yeah," the blonde said, "Every sector in the city has been cleared...all that's left to do is wait for Lenny and set up the Restoration Device."

"Speaking of Lenny," Charlotte stared off behind Dawn, where Lennon and McKay had just made an appearance, both of them carrying silver cases which held Naquadah generators.

"Have any trouble?" Dawn asked.

"Amazingly, no," McKay replied, "The Deadalus was completly emty."

Charlotte stared at McKay, "The _Deadalus_ was _completly emty_?"

Dawn giggled.

"Yah, yuc it up, Blodie" McKay grumbled, "Bet u find it halirious."

"Was that English?"

"Spell check has been acting up," Lennon said by way of explanation, "You shoulda heard him try and say 'nuclear fission reaction'. It was like watching him have a seizure in oral form. And we didn't have it _all_ that easy up on the ship. He got my last Wonka bar..." Lennon made a sour face.

"Oh?" Charlotte tilted her head at the geek, suppressing a smile with a lot of effort.

"Yeah..."

The redhead bit the inside of her cheek to keep from chuckling, "I assume you've got enough generators to set up the Restoration Device?"

"In combination with the ones in the city, yes," Lennon replied, shifting the weight of the cases she had in hand.

"Where should we go to set it up then?"

Lennon squinted as she thought for a moment, "The infirmary, I should think. It's a good central location."

----

A/N: The bad spellers...they were _begging_ to be made fun of. You're on a computer people...run it through spell check before you post for cryin' out loud! My God.

Ahem. There _have_ been e-mails about DH and whipped cream that have passed through my outbox on more than one occasion. It's a recurring theme for _some_ reason.


	66. The Restoration

After a few hours of rest, the Bunny Busters and McKay got up on the sixth day of their time together feeling refreshed and ready to turn the city back into the glistening gem that it had once been.

Lennon and Dawn had spent the majority of the day setting up all the equipment they needed in order to restore the fandom to it's former state. Now that they had a few extra Naquadah generators from the Daedelus, it was a piece of cake.

Although Lennon certainly made every effort to make it _look_ like it was the most difficult thing she'd ever accomplished, but then again, that was just for Dawn's benefit. It wouldn't do to let the newbie know just how simple the restoration set up really was.

Although, the fact that Lennon had done this very procedure about a hundred and twenty times before might have had something to do with her proficiency at it.

McKay was seated on one of the many infirmary tables, looking over several of the schematics that Lennon had given him of the restoration device while making unsatisfied noises every now and again.

In truth, Lennon wasn't really supposed to let _anyone_ look at those schematics, but after he hovered over her shoulder for close to an hour, asking inane questions and pointing out flaws in the plans logic and scientific viability, she got fed up and shoved the vital bits of paper at him just to get him out of her hair. She had no idea why she had given into him, other than the fact that it quite effectively kept him busy and out of her personal space. It was still really weird to feel the slight tug of that old ship arrow wound every time he got within three feet of her. Alright, not so much weird as dreadfully uncomfortable.

Although he did make quite a fuss every few minutes when he found a particularly large, glaring discrepancy.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," he huffed as he read, "This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen! None of this science makes any sense! Look, look, look!" He pointed at a diagram of one of the wires, "There is _no_ way that this configuration can do anything other than blow up! This is **not** going to work!"

Lennon sighed, but didn't cease her work, "Yes it will. It's worked before."

"Oh, well you'll excuse me if I don't take _your_ word over the laws of physics."

Dawn just rolled her eyes and continued hooking up various cables.

"Can you give me a viable explanation as to why these _particular_ bits of nonsense are plausible equations with which you intend to restore order around here?"

Lennon looked over the rims of her glasses at him, "No one knows quite how it works."

McKay was flabbergasted.

Techie did a little dance for using the word flabbergasted in a sentence. After all, it _was_ one of her favorite words, and she got to use it so very rarely.

Sorry, back to McKay being flabbergasted. Right.

McKay was flabbergasted, "You can't be serious. You're telling me that this technology, this...this _thing_ that you intend to strap to my head, has no basis in scientific reality what-so-ever?"

She spared him a glare before turning back to her work, "Look, I don't know _how_ it works, it just _works_. We aren't that picky at the ABPA...we find a tech that works for us, we use it."

"Oh, well that's very comforting, that has to be the most comforting thing I've heard all week!"

Lennon was getting irritated, Dawn could see it in the way her left eye twitched slightly.

"What was your first science text book, hmm? 'Pop! Goes The Hamster And Other Fun Backyard Experiments'?"

"Actually, it was 'Some Kittens _Can_ Fly' if I recall correctly," Lennon replied without looking up from the monitor.

Rodney couldn't be sure if she was kidding or not.

"I am most certainly _not_ letting you put that thing on my head unless I have some sort of assurance that it wont kill me!"

Lennon stood abruptly, knocking her chair over, "You're worried that thing is gonna kill you? Let me tell you something pal, if you don't pipe down _I_ am going to kill you!" She pointed at him angrily, "We spent six days cleaning out this place so that we could restore it, and your cowardice is not going to put six days of **my** hard work to waste!"

Dawn saw that Lennon was really about to blow her top and intervened, placing a hand on Lennon's shoulder, gently prompting her to retake her seat.

The blonde turned to Rodney, "Doctor McKay, we've done nothing but help you since we got here. Lennon saved your life, not once, but _twice_...can't you just _trust_ us?"

A vein in McKay's forehead popped out and throbbed in that way it tends to do when he knows that someone else is actually...

Dare I say it...

_Right._

He let out a huff and reclaimed his place on the infirmary bed, sulking.

Dawn looped a few more cables together, "I'll be right back, Lenny. I gotta go grab a couple more of these connector thingies."

Lennon looked at the blonde with a lifted eyebrow, "Your grasp of technological terms never ceases to amaze me, Dawn, truly."

Dawn tried to glare at Lennon but failed and ended up smirking at her instead before she left the room.

Lennon heard a little huffy sigh and she looked up at the grumpy man on the infirmary bed.

"Oh come on, Rodney, stop sulking."

Lennon mentally slapped herself for calling him Rodney. She could at least _try_ to keep up the facade, at least until his memories actually returned.

What was she going to do when they did, though? Hope he wouldn't remember her? Hope that enough had happened to him over the past few years to make a few days back on Earth insigificant?

Well..actually that _was_ a possibility, after all, he'd been in a new galaxy, going through God only knows what...maybe his old ship _would_ be forgotten.

It was the only hope she had and she clung to it like a life preserver...maybe, just _maybe_ he wouldn't make a connection.

If he didn't, it'd be easier for her to try and forget it. Although...

Her face flushed beet red once again against her will, but she forced down _those_ memories and recovered quite well.

McKay looked up at her with a scowl, "I don't sulk."

"Oh yes you do. You're one of the most accomplished sulkers I know."

Dawn chose that particular moment to re-enter the infirmary, a handful of 'connector thingies' at the ready.

"All set up?" Charlotte asked as she entered the infirmary.

"For the most part," Dawn replied as she finished looping the last of the cables together, "We just have to hook up Brainiac over there and we'll be set."

McKay looked nervously at the apparatus that would soon be strapped to his head, "This…ah...this isn't going to hurt, is it?"

Charlotte looked to Lennon for an answer. Lennon stuck out her bottom lip in thought and shook her head, "Nah, I shouldn't think so."

"Although," Lennon turned her face from her superior to look at McKay thoughtfully, "I mean, you didn't have any plans on having kids or anything, right?"

Dawn couldn't help the laugh that escaped her lips as McKay went all buggy eyed at Lennon's nonchalant statement.

"Lenny," Charlotte said, her tone belying not only slight amusement but slight reprimand as well, "Haven't you put the man through enough?"

Lennon snorted and muttered under her breath, "Nowhere near as much as he put _me_ through the _last_ time."

McKay looked at her strangely, not quite certain if he'd heard her correctly, "What?"

Lennon waved her hand dismissively. "You'll see in a few minutes," she muttered dejectedly.

She was _not_ looking foreword to this. Not at _all_.

"You two go station yourselves...out...there...somewhere," the geek waved one hand in the direction of the door, "I need you to chart the device's progress while it's working to make sure things are going the way they're supposed to."

Charlotte gave a curt nod, "Alright, Lenny." and she and Dawn left the room.

Lennon punched a few more buttons on the laptop, making a few faces as she finished the recalibrations for this 'verse. She got up from her seat, walked over to the Restoration Helmet and picked it up.

After making sure that everything was in order with the helmet itself, she walked to McKay and brought it up to place it on his head.

She looked directly at McKay and hesitated. Her insides were twisting as she thought about all the possibilities of what could happen within the next few minutes.

Everything would change, either for the better or the worse, in a matter of seconds and she was understandably torn.

If he didn't remember her, wonderful. Great. Fantastic. It would just be a matter of leaving and pushing all memories of her ship away, burying them like she had before.

If he remembered her, his reaction could be either positive (seriously doubtful) or negative (pretty likely).

Or really, _really_ negative (two to one odds).

Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen. Place your bets.

Charlotte's voice came over the radio, pulling the geek out of her thoughts and back into the present, "Ready when you are, Lenny."

Lennon looked right into McKay's eyes for a moment, still trying to sort out her feelings on the matter.

"Just a second, Charlie. I have a couple of last minute adjustments to make."

"Last minute adjustments?" Charlotte asked.

"His head is a little bigger than I originally calculated," she lied, "Just gimme a few minutes." Lennon hit her headset, shutting it off with a metallic chirp, before she reached for McKay and removed his.

She licked her bottom lip nervously, "Before I...uh...before I do this-"

McKay looked at her suspiciously, narrowing his eyes at her, "What?"

She took a deep breath, "There's um...there's some stuff about the RD that I didn't tell you and-"

His eyes widened and she scoffed, seemingly reading his thoughts, "We've already been over this, McKay, it's not going to hurt. I promise."

"Then what is it?" He said snappishly, "I'd like to get this over with so that I can close the book on this particular chapter of my life and get on with a somewhat normal existence. Sans bunnies, slash and Sues."

"Well," Lennon said, unsure as to why she was so nervous all of the sudden, "There's a good chance that the procedure will cause some...things to resurface for you that you..uh...forgot."

He lifted an eyebrow, "What, you mean like repressed memories?"

"Um...yeah. Let's go with that."

He crossed his arms over his chest, "I'm sure I can handle it."

"I don't doubt that you can," Lennon said quietly before clearing her throat and hardening her tone, "However, if that happens- you remembering, I mean- I just want to say that...there was a good reason. A _damn_ good reason."

McKay was confused, "For what?"

"It doesn't matter right now," Lennon put the helmet on McKay's head and started tightening the chin strap, avoiding meeting his eyes, "It'll make sense in a few minutes."

Lennon reactivated her headset, "Alright Charlie. Get ready."

The geek finished adjusting all the wires leading off of the device and then sauntered over to the laptop she had set up.

Her fingers flew over the keyboard for a few seconds, making absolutely _certain_ that everything was in order before she brought up one finger and prepared herself to hit _the_ button.

She looked at McKay, took a deep breath, and pressed the activation key.

A bright blue shockwave flared out from the helmet and spread across the room, then out into the hallway and then, even further.

Despite the fact that it looked rather dangerous, it didn't do any harm as it spread across the city putting right what once went wrong.

Lennon adjusted a few settings on the laptop as Charlotte's voice crackled over the airwaves, "It's working, Len. The whole city has started restoring itself."

"I know," Lennon glanced at McKay every few seconds between typing, watching him for any obvious change. "I have to boost the power though...the readings I'm getting are a little wonky."

A second burst erupted from the device, brighter than the first, followed by a third and a forth, each one brighter and more powerful than the last.

After fifteen cycles, the device powered down of it's own accord, indicating that the fandom had been restored to its former order.

"Lenny?"

"Restoration is complete," Lennon glanced worriedly at McKay, looking for any indication that his bunny induced, selective amnesia had disappeared.

He blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes. Lennon's heart leapt into her throat as she waited for him to recover from the RD's side effects. It had just scanned and most likely altered his brain, after all. She had to give him plenty of time to recuperate.

She waited a whole point five seconds, which, in her anxiety, seemed like an eternity before diving right in.

"How do you feel, McKay?"

He just grunted and kept rubbing his eyes.

"McKay?"

Still nothing.

"Rodney!"

"What!" He stopped what he was doing and looked at her, clearly annoyed.

"Do you feel any differently?" Lennon asked, knowing full well that the entire story ending hinged on his reply.

McKay tilted his head at her, "Should I?"

The geek took a deep breath and let it out slowly, letting a grateful smile spread across her face, "Nope."

She positively felt like laughing out of relief. Just felt like rolling about on the floor with glee.

He didn't remember.

Thank God he didn't remember.

--------  
A/N: -is pelted with tomatoes-


	67. Insert Spoiler Free Chapter Title Here 3

Gotcha.

I really had you there, didn't I?

Oh, come _on_!

You didn't _really_ think Lenny would get off the hook _that_ easily, did you?

Please, give me _some_ credit.

This is _Techie_ we're talking about here. You should've been expecting a stunt like this from me.

And yes, I am _fully_ aware of just how evil I am for making you think that McKay didn't remember her...

But really, I couldn't stop myself.

And no, I'm not sorry at all.

Ok...maybe a _smidge._

Then again...

I do like to keep you lot on your toes. Can't have me start getting predictable in my old age.

What do you mean? I'm not stalling.

Right. Ok. Next chapter. So sorry. By all means...go ahead.


	68. Insert Spoiler Free Chapter Title Here 4

McKay's head felt funny. Like he'd been hanging upside down for the past hour or so.

It was _not_ a comfortable feeling.

His mind was awash in unfamiliar flashes of memory. It was like someone had a bunch of Polaroid photos and was showing them to him for a split second in rapid succession.

Disorienting to say the _very_ least.

All of the flashes had one thing in common. They all featured Lennon in some capacity.

She walked over to him and started unhooking the wires attached to the Restoration Device that was still perched atop his head.

It took several minutes for things to start making any kind of sense. His memories were fragmented, and they were trying to coalesce into a somewhat coherent order as he looked at her. Her hand brushed his forehead as she unhooked another wire, the skin on skin contact making the memories slam together abruptly, hitting him like a brick to the head.

Gas station. Gas station outside Cheyenne mountain.

She asked him for directions and punched him in the jaw for a sexist remark.

The SGC. In the infirmary.

Where she had introduced herself to Doctor Fraiser as his colleague and teased him mercilessly.

In the mess hall.

More teasing and sarcasm and then her touching his hand and running off.

In his lab.

Where he had fallen off his chair. She had laughed at him and he had kissed her.

More images flashed through his mind, finally ending up with a make-out session in his guest quarters which resulted in her zatting him as her way of saying goodbye.

Rodney stood up suddenly as she removed the restoration device and pointed at her accusingly, almost tripping over himself to get away from her.

"Y-you!"

Before he even knew what he was doing, he yanked the gun out of the waistband of Lennon's pants and pointed it at her.

He knew her.

How is it that he didn't remember before?

"Mallory!"

Lennon's eyes went the size of saucers behind her glasses and she dropped the restoration helmet on the floor where it landed with a sickly sounding crash.

"Oh God," she breathed, swallowing the lump that had formed within her throat that was threatening to cut off her air supply, "Oh God, oh God, oh God."

Rodney narrowed his eyes at Lennon and his finger twitched on the trigger of his gun.

Lennon, being unarmed at this precise moment, put her hands up in a signal of surrender.

"YOU SHOT ME!" He accused, still keeping the gun trained on her, "You shot me with a zat!"

Lennon turned to glare at the ceiling, eyes blazing and teeth clenched, "Can't you let me off just once? JUST ONCE? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?"

"Hey! Knock it off!" Rodney said angrily, "Stop talking to _her_ and talk to me! You owe me an explanation!"

"I...I OWE YOU?" Lennon recoiled, scandalized.

"Damn straight you do!"

"I'm not going to say a damn thing as long as you have a gun trained on me!" Lennon replied in a snarl, "Pulling a gun on me is a little bit harsh!"

"You think I'm being _harsh_? Oh please!" McKay growled, "After everything that you put me through I-"

"Everything _I_ put _you_ through? Excuse me? Do you have any idea what I had to go through for you? Huh? It _hurt_ to leave you behind, damn it!"

He narrowed his eyes dangerously, "You actually expect me to believe that? How stupid do you think I am?"

Lennon glared at him, "I don't think we have time to cover my opinion on that _particular_ topic at this point in time, Rodney. We could be here all day."

"Just shut up. Shut up and tell me the truth!" He straightened out his arm so that he was staring directly down the barrel of the nine millimeter pointed at her head.

"How can I shut up and tell you the truth at the same time, Rodney? Pick one or the other!"

His eyes flashed, "Tell me the truth!"

"I DID!"

He just looked at her with contempt written on his face as clearly as if you'd scribbled it across his forehead in black marker.

"Fine. Believe me, don't, I don't care at this point." Lennon threw up her hands in exasperation, "I liked you, you know that? I actually, genuinely _liked_ you!"

He got angrier, features twisted with rage and spat, "You sure had a funny way of showing it, Lenny!"

Lennon's chest constricted uncomfortably. That was the first time he'd used her name in the entire time they'd been on Atlantis.

She didn't get the chance to dwell on it for too long, however, because McKay continued, ticking off a list of her misdeeds on his fingers, "You punched me, tried to brainwash me, zatted me, wiped out my memory-"

"Of course I did, you idiot!" Lennon exclaimed angrily, "We're not allowed to leave any trace that might largely impact the course of events in the fandom on missions that are strictly recon. For the first time in my miserable career I was actually trying to follow protocol!"

He glared at her, folding his arms over his chest in defiance, "It wasn't anything that would've had an impact on the future."

Now it was Lennon's turn to cross her arms over her chest, "Oh come _on_, Rodney. We made out. _Repeatedly_."

McKay flushed scarlet, "You still didn't _have_ to wipe out my memory!"

Lennon put her hands on her hips, "Oh yes I did."

"NO! No you didn't!"

"Yes I did!" Her tone of voice morphed from angry to pleading with her next words, "Come on, be honest, Rodney. If I had left you _with_ those memories, you would have gone looking for me eventually. We were under the effects of a shipper bunny...you wouldn't have been able to help yourself."

"You still didn't have to forcefully alter my memory," McKay scoffed, "I would have forgotten you on my own. Within a few weeks, you would have been nothing more than a distant memory. A fling, nothing more."

Something inside Lennon that had blossomed over the past few days was suddenly trampled on and crushed with a few careless words from Rodney McKay.

Rodney realized his error a half a second too late.

"I didn't m-"

He wasn't able to block the fist that came barrelling at his face at warp factor nine and collided with his jaw. He stumbled back at the force of the blow, stunned by just how much power the geek seemed to have when it came to punching men in the face. It was like an abnormally developed skill...maybe a super power even.

"If I'm so easily forgettable, I guess I should have saved myself the trouble then," she said angrily to the man who had reeled away from her when she struck him.

McKay's face was bruised and alternately, Lennon's ego was bruised for the first time in a long time and something nasty and bitter crept into her chest to take up residence. It wasn't heartbreak, but it was pretty damn close.

The stared at each other, Lennon with her hands clenched so tightly into fists at her sides that they were shaking, her eyes threatening to water (she refused to be written as 'crying', it just wasn't in her contract), while Rodney was bent foreword slightly, holding his jaw with one hand, blue eyes wide and incredibly angry.

"You broke my jaw! This time you really, really broke my jaw!" He shifted it slightly and it made a loud popping noise, "That's not normal. It didn't used to do that! Oh, you're going to pay for this." He stopped and stood up straight suddenly, "Now why does this seem familiar?"

If he hadn't been watching her so intently, he might have missed it, the movement was so subtle, but the thin grim line that Lennon's mouth had been set in softened marginally, and there was a small smoothing of the handful creases in her forehead.

"Apparently," she said, her voice still holding a hard edge that Rodney didn't like, "Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

"Couldn't learn from it if I couldn't remember it," he countered, still watching her carefully.

She looked at him appraisingly, "Touche."

He stood there, rubbing his face for a minute longer and the two of them just watched each other.

When Lennon took a tentative step foreword and reached out to touch her pack that was sitting on the infirmary bed where Rodney had been sitting, he took an instinctive step back, hanging onto his jaw protectively.

"What're you doing?"

"There's this concept," she said with a sigh as she reached into her pack and pulled out a small blue plastic bag that Rodney recognized as an instant cold pack, "I'm pretty sure it's called forgiveness."

She let the words hang in the air as she snapped the ice pack sharply over one knee and shook it.

"I will if you will," he said after a moment, breaking the silence that had descended.

"I don't think it works that way," Lennon replied as she moved foreword and moved to place the ice pack on McKay's face.

"OW!" He shrank back from the cold of the ice pack momentarily before he took it from her and gently placed it on his sore jaw.

She stepped back away from him and wrapped her arms around her middle, uncomfortable with this entire situation to the point that she wished she'd wake up and it would have all been a horrible nightmare.

Of course, that was the _easy_ way out of the situation that Techie had written and since Techie is rarely ever known for doing things the _easy_ way, that was automatically out.

They watched each other for another few moments, drowning in their own thoughts before Rodney spoke once again.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you don't play well with others?"

One of Lennon's eyebrows quirked up quite against her will, "That's something that we have in common then, isn't it, Rodney?"

"One of many things, it would seem." He pointed to his jaw while grimacing, "I too have a mean right hook."

She pouted, "That's not fair, you know."

He tilted his head at her in a way that reminded her of a quizzical dog, "What?"

Lennon bowed her head and forced down the smile that was trying to spread on her face, "You're making it damn near impossible for me to hold a grudge against you."

"If it's any consolation, I'm having a hard time with that myself." He looked at her pointedly, "And if anyone has the right to hold a grudge..."

She looked back up at him with a no-nonsense glare, "Don't make me hit you again, McKay."

"Far be it from me to tempt the iron fists of Miss Lennon-" He stopped and looked at her thoughtfully, "Wait a minute...is Fisk your last name really? Or is it Mallory?

"Fisk...it's really Fisk, Rodney."

Rodney murmured something unintelligible and Lennon inquired, "What was that?"

"Muchhuhumhum," he mumbled, avoiding saying that which he had only revealed aloud to a handful of people in his entire lifetime.

Lennon looked at him oddly, "Rodney, your Bruce Campbell impression sucks."

He spared her the tiniest of glares. The Army Of Darkness reference did _not_ go over his head.

"Merideth," he groused, "My first name is...Merideth." He winced, knowing what was no doubt on the way.

"And you had the nerve to make fun of _my_ first name?" Lennon asked, "_Merideth_?"

Oh, now she was just adding insult to injury.

"Merideth," Lennon repeated, considering the syllables as she said them, "You know...I kinda like it."

"You tell a soul about this, I'll kill you," he said as forcefully as he could with the ice pack pressed into his face.

"Oh, I'd never make fun of you, Rodney. Never." Lennon pressed her lips togehter and she put on the most serious face she could manage.

Which lasted about two seconds.

"So...Rodney...I'm assuming your parents were Batman fans _and_ Caddyshack fans?" Lennon asked teasingly, unable to resist one more jab at him.

He gave her a sour faced look.

She looked at him with a mixture of pouting and sympathy, "Aw...come on, Rodney. You got five solid minutes of Yoko Ono jokes at my expense..."

"Just get it out of your system, would you please?" He said, looking very worn out suddenly as he adjusted the ice pack and leaned back against the table he'd been sitting on before, "Ow. I think this thing is leaking."

Lennon stepped foreword and took the ice pack from him, "I'm done...I only had two jokes...and they weren't very good anyway."

"What now?" He asked out of the blue after she took the ice pack and walked it over to a biohazard container in the corner.

"Well...the restoration is complete...so..."

"You'll be leaving again."

Lennon looked at her shoes and sighed, "Yeah...we will."

She would have continued, but Dawn burst in the room, ruining the moment completely.

"The restoration was a success!" The blonde exclaimed as she entered the room, "It's incredible, Lenny! The whole city is setting itself right again! Windows are mending themselves, people are shaking off bunny effects left and right, it's amazing! You guys should see it!"

Lennon glanced at her teammate and smiled weakly, "I've seen it happen before, Dawn."

Dawn's pale brows furrowed, picking up on the fact that something was wrong here but she couldn't pick out just what it was, "Are you two ok?"

Lennon and McKay glanced at each other momentarily before saying in unison, "Yeah...we're fine."

-------------

A/N: O.O…

Yeah...that's all I've got to say. I'm happy with this. Like…really, really happy with this. I have a new challenge (seems like an age since I last issued one, yes?) I want to read what Lennon intended to say to McKay before Dawn cut her off.

I smell fluff…but haven't the energy to write the stuff without throwing up myself.

The End (!) coming up next. If you've been readin' this and have yet to review it (cough, forty some odd people who have it on their alert list but don't **ever** review), now would be the time.


	69. The End Of The Line

Charlotte, Lennon and Dawn stood at the foot of the Stargate, watching as the Chevrons were encoded and waiting for the loud 'Kawoosh' that would signal the opening of the wormhole.

"Wormhole has been established."

Charlotte and the other two Bunny Busters turned back towards the assembled canons of Atlantis. Sheppard was there, with his arms bandaged quite thouroughly, the sick, sad, puppy dog look on his face replaced by the smug smirk that he wore regularly.

Beckett was completely restored, and only had a bad black eye to serve as testiment to his run in with Lennon.

Zelenka was back to normal, the only evidence that he'd ever been in drag being a bit of berry red lipstick staining his lips, which refused to come off.

Kavanaugh was off in a corner, sulking, regretting the loss of his Casanova powers, while Cadman, Teyla and Ronon stood nearby, with their normal dispositions restored, no sign of their former..musical, seductive or childlike natures visible.

"We'd like to thank you," Elizabeth Weir began, her Bimbofied! outfit long gone and replaced with her normal, modest uniform.

"There's no need," Charlotte replied, holding up her hand to stop Weir from speaking, "It's part of the job."

"Regardless, you still put your lives on the line for my people and I'm eternally grateful."

Dawn blushed, Charlotte nodded and Lennon looked a little bit prouder than she probably should have.

"If there's ever anything that we can do for you, you have only to ask."

"An alliance between our two...organizations, would be acceptable, I should think." Charlotte held out her hand, and Weir took it, shaking it firmly.

McKay and Lennon both rolled their eyes in a gesture that clearly said, 'Typical diplomats'.

After Charlotte and Weir stepped away from each other, Dawn stepped foreword and handed something small and metallic to the leader of the Atlantis expediton.

Elizabeth looked down at it, puzzled, "What-"

"It's a communicator," Dawn said, "Of a sort."

Charlotte shifted her pack, "We always send a follow up team to check up on the formerly infested fandom every so often once we've cleared it out. You know, to make sure the problem hasn't reasserted itself."

"So...you'll be coming back?"

Lennon made a face that was both thoughtful and doubtful...how she managed to pull it off, no one will ever know, "It might not be us. It might be another Buster team. It depends on whether or not we're stuck in another 'verse." She pointed at the device that Dawn had given to Weir, "That'll beep like crazy when we're on the way...kinda give you a heads up. You know, so you've got time to open the shield so none of us will end our lives by making a 'Splat!' noise across the surface of the shield."

Sheppard let out a chuckle. McKay, however, was _not_ amused.

Charlotte's watch beeped loudly and she looked at the other two women, "That's our cue." She turned back to the canons, "Take care of yourselves."

Weir nodded, "God speed."

The three bunny busters who had entered the Atlantis fandom some six days before, walked to the Stargate, heads held high.

Lennon shifted her pack from one shoulder to the other and absently patted her...or rather, McKay's, shirt pocket. She stopped dead in her tracks, remembering something.

"Wait!" She shouted, stopping the other two from going any closer to the gate.

There were puzzled looks all around.

"What Lenny?" Charlotte asked, gesturing to her watch, "We gotta go!"

"I forgot something!" Lennon said hurriedly, turning back towards the gate room, "It'll just take me a second!"

Dawn turned to Charlotte, "What could she have possibly-"

Lennon dashed down the ramp and practically leapt into McKay's arms, wrapping him in a tight embrace and crushing her lips to his with bruising force.

To say that McKay was stunned was, by far, _the_ understatement of the century.

Hell, the entire gathered crowd was stunned.

Dawn looked on, her jaw very nearly coming in contact with the floor, utterly scandalized by this display.

Charlotte, however, just sighed, rested one hand on her hip and stared at her watch as several seconds ticked by.

Sheppard was grinning from ear to ear, while Weir lifted an eyebrow at the two.

Lennon pulled back from McKay after something like fifteen seconds, leaving his hair in a mess and looking thouroughly kissed.

And did I mention stunned?

'Cause boy, was he _stunned_.

If she'd hit him with a Wraith stunner, she couldn't have stunned him _more_.

"Ok, we can leave now!" Lennon released him from her grip and ran back up the ramp to rejoin her comrades.

"What was _that_?" Dawn asked incredulously as they walked towards the gate, Lennon grinning like a Cheshire cat the whole way.

"What? I was just trying to get as much of my Wonka bar back as humanly possible." She turned back and gave McKay a small wave, which he returned, barely, still looking quite dazed and confused.

"Uh huh, Wonka bar...sure..."

"Shut up, Charlotte."

"You know something Lennon? For all your protesting and bellyaching to the contrary, you are _such_ a Sue," Charlotte replied, shaking her head as she stepped through the event horizon.

Lennon smirked and winked at McKay, before she too stepped through the gate, "We're all Sues at heart."

--------------------

A/N:Tada! The end...

Or _is_ it? DUN DUN DUN!

I'm currently fighting with myself as to whether or not I should write McKay's reaction shot to this ending, or give it as a challenge for all of you to take.

-wrestles with writer's conscience-

Alright, consider it a challenge. Rodney's Reaction!

-can hear Nenya screaming 'GAAAAH DAMN YOU TECHIE!' and falling off her chair from here-

Um...sorry? -isn't really-

I'll probably write my own version of it eventually and post it as a one shot, but I'd LOVE to see your take on it -grin-

I'd also like to see what happens if Lennon were to return to Atlantis -wink wink nudge nudge- with the follow up team.

There's one more challenge for the road, as well.

Write the Bunny Buster's Return-Consider it to be a sequel until I get around to figuring out how to start the official sequel.

A few weeks have passed since the end of 'When Plot Bunnies Attack' and now the follow up is being conducted.


	70. Yoda Says Goodnight

A lone woman stood looking down on her little universe, feeling extraordinarily pleased with herself. The only sounds within the stark white room was that of her beaten up old tape player which was currently belting out a slightly warped version of 'Yoda' by Weird Al Yankovich. Now when I say slightly warped, I don't mean the content of the song itself (Weird Al is warped anyway, which really goes without saying just because of the man's moniker), slightly warped because the tape was from nineteen eighty six and the tape player it was residing in was in _such_ sad shape that the door to the tape deck was gone and only one speaker worked halfway right.

The woman who stood, smiling down on the _finally_ completed first part of the Plot Bunny Trilogy, wore a long flowing brown robe with her hands tucked securely into the sleeves.

Yes, she was the Jedi master of Atlantis parody fanfic.

She had been told as much.

"Would you _please_ back up off the Yoda crap, Techie?" A snarky voice spoke from behind her.

The Author remained unaffected, "Techie I am no longer. Obe-Tech-Kenobi now am I."

"Ugh..God..." Lennon, who had entered the Author's pleasant little daydream without permisson, crossed her arms over her chest, "I'm _sooo_ blaming Bartlett for this. She just _had_ to call you her 'Yoda'."

"Back up out my Kool-aid, Lenny," the Author replied, "I've just completed my first more than a hundred thousand word story. I'm flyin' high."

"Definitely high on _something_," Lennon muttered under her breath.

"Watch it or I'll start the sequel right away," Techie-I mean, uh Obe-Tech-Kenobi threatened.

"You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I?"

"No, you _wouldn't_. You're out of ideas."

Techie blinked twice, "That's never stopped me _before._"

"True...however, you can't start on a sequel until you're completely finished with the first installment of the series."

"What are you on about?" The author gaped, "I **_am_** finished!"

Lennon brought a hand up and moved it in lazy circles, waiting for Obe-Tech-Kenobi to connnect the dots.

It took several seconds, since the author hadn't had any coffee or other caffienated beverages recently.

When it _did_ hit however, she slapped herself in the forehead.

"The post fic reference list," she groaned, "Of course."

Lennon held out her hand and Obe-Tech-Kenobi made a face, "Back to the grind."

The author screwed up her features in an expression of distaste before stripping out of her brown, flowy Jedi robe, leaving just her red Second City t-shirt and battered jeans in it's place.

Lennon lifted an eyebrow, "Acid wash, Techie?"

"What? They were on sale."

"For good reason."

"I'll put you in a dress next time around if you don't behave."

"It's a little late for that," Lennon replied, "As I recall, I've been in a mini skirt, a corset, a-"

"I get it, I get it! I like playing dress up with you too much!"

"Not just with me, apparently," the geek answered, shaking out the brown Jedi robe and looking at it, "However, that doesn't change the fact that you still have a post fic list to write..."

Techie gave a little huff and nodded sullenly, "Alright, _fine_...but it's going to be a condensed list. I don't have the energy to explain what was referenced where."

And lo and behold, here it is. I dare you all to try and spot the references.

The X-Files, Star Trek, The Ramones, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Ghostbusters, Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory (the orignal, take that Johnny Depp!), MacGyver, Star Wars, Batman And Robin -makes a face-, Troma Films!, The Lone Gunmen, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, James Bond, How To Marry A Millionare, Billy Idol, Quantum Leap, Highlander, Sliders, SeaQuest, Alice In Wonderland, Edgar Allan Poe, Cleopatra 2525, Dirty Harry, Dogma, The Blues Brothers, An American Werewolf In London, Blazing Saddles, Jack Of All Trades, Looney Tunes, Dungeons And Dragons, Animal House (Toga, Toga, TOGA!), Hercules, Army Of Darkness, Fatal Attraction, Super Mario Brothers, Evil Dead, Xena, Law And Order, Homicide:LIfe On The Street, Columbo, Dead Kennedys, This Is Spinal Tap, Diablo, The Marx Brothers, Abbot And Costello, Reservoir Dogs, Steve Martin, William Shatner, Lost In Space, Stripes, Some Like It Hot, Back To The Future, Monty Python, Red Dwarf, Doctor Who, Hitchiker's Guide To The Galaxy, Isadore (Friz) Freling, John Lennon, Yoko Ono, Caddyshack, Mythbusters, Young Frankenstien, Annie Get Your Gun, West Side Story, Will And Grace, Cabaret, Hello Dolly, The Producers, Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure, Sandman, Superman, Spiderman, Men In Black, Louis Vuitton, Doctor Goldfoot And The Girl Bombs, Peter Pan, David Hewlett, Burgess Meredith

Everything _else_ in the story (situations, original characters, items, agencies and creatures) is copyright to Techie and may **not** be used without her express permission and proper credit being given. She may not own the concept of the plot bunny, but she owns the way she _portrayed_ the plot bunny and as you well know, plagiarism isn't tolerated very well.

With the after fic list completed, finally Techie could go to bed without fear of Plot Bunnies attacking her in her sleep.

Until the sequel commenced, at least...

-------

FINAL AUTHOR'S NOTE!

Wow. Was it _really_ six months ago that this universe took over my life? It's amazing that I've actually created this monster and _finished_ it in that space of time.

Keep an eye out, I'll be publishing it in book form via cafe press soon (which is totally legal 'cause I'm not making profit on it...I just want a bound version of this beast on my bookshelf) so you can own a copy eventually, minus all those annoying author's notes. I have to admit to you that it was never intended to be this _huge_, but the characters ran away with me...Len especially.

Right now I feel both incredibly happy and incredibly sad. This is the closing of one chapter of the saga and the opening of the next. It feels like I'm sending a kid off to college, I swear it's _just_ like that. I could seriously cry right now. I've never committed so much time and effort to something and _finished_ it before so my chest is just all swollen up with glee and joy and bittersweet happiness.

I want to thank you all for your unwavering support, reviews and general loveliness whilst I crafted this thing before your eyes, and I don't think I'll ever be quite so proud as I am at this moment in time.

And thusly, I click the little status button and finally move this from being 'in progress' to 'complete'.

The End.


End file.
